Needing to find something
is everything ok.
I hope you find your niche, someday soon.
Easy to change your phase,
to move from where you stand,
but you got to keep that face.
Each change you plan.
Wonder,
is everything ok,
the problem is hesitation

Quirrel lunges at me and I throw my hands up onto his face. His mouth contorts and he screams in pain. Voldemort screams out as well as Quirrel falls backward into the wall. His skin begins to crumble and soon his body disappears leaving only the spirit of the Dark Lord. I back away as Voldemort swoops down toward me. He passes straight through my chest and then flies away, leaving the remnants of what was once a man lying on the floor in front of me. As I fall backward and the world disappears I catch a final glimpse of what was left of Quirrel and a thought passed through my mind quickly.

I wonder if everything in my life will turn to ash in my hands.

October 21st Friday, 4PM
Lovegood Mansion

"There is a reason the vampire christened Harry with the name of Gilgamesh," Luna began as she gazed into her crystal ball. I watched intently as her blank eyes scanned the glassy surface.

"Gilgamesh traveled with his friend Enkidu to kill a terrible beast. On their journey Gilgamesh was plagued by horrifying and terrible dreams. Enkidu was able to convince him that the dreams were a good sign and they foretold their success in their upcoming battle."

"When they finally reached their destination Enkidu lost his courage and tried to escape but Gilgamesh caught him and they had a great battle. The monster heard their battle and came out of the forest. In the end Gilgamesh convinced Enkidu to return with him to defeat the monster together."

"So how does all of this relate to my father?" I asked in confusion. Luna closed her eyes for a moment and the candles flickered ominously. I glanced around the room and wondered if I was just seeing things. When I turned back Luna's eyes were open once again and her expression unreadable.

"Maybe nothing," she stated simply. "Maybe everything," she added a moment later in a haunting tone.

The room fell into a deep and disturbing silence as Luna continued to gaze into the crystal. I shifted nervously in my seat each time her eyes quickly glanced at me only to shift a moment later. I opened my mouth to speak but Luna quickly held up a hand to silence me.

"Do you know what possessed Tom Riddle to become the Dark Lord Voldemort?" she questioned. I thought for a few moments before answering.

"Power," I replied hesitantly, "Blood-purity."

"Nonsense," Luna spat, "Tom Riddle was a half-blood."

"Then I don't know," I admitted.

"He was searching for something," she explained, "Something that every man and woman in the Slytherin line spent their lives looking for."

"It was not power which drove them," Luna continued, her face partially hidden in shadow as a few candles were snuffed out by a cool draft running through the room. I scanned the room looking for the source of the sudden wind but wasn't able to locate a single window or crack of any kind. The walls appeared to be completely smooth and unblemished.

"They did yearn for power but it was only a means to an end. Immortality was what they truly desired over anything and everything else in this world."

"Did they fear death?" I asked.

"No," Luna replied, "They did not fear death or dying. It was reality that haunted them. The reality that after they were gone the world would continue on without them. It was that idea that scared them more than anything. They feared being forgotten."

"But why?"

"Have you ever thought about what would happen to the world if you passed away?" Luna questioned and I shook my head slightly.

"Nothing would happen to the world," she explained, "It would move along as if you had never existed and then you would be forgotten."

"That happens to everyone though, doesn't it? It's not like I could really do anything about it," I stated factually.

"You're not thinking," she said softly, "Would the wind still blow if you were not there to feel it? Would the rain fall if you were no longer there to let it run down your face? Would men and women still breathe? Would children still play? Would the sun still rise and set while the moon followed along behind?"

Her words seemed to take root in my mind and I truly thought about her original question. What would happen if I were to die? She was right of course, the world would still turn and people would live on. Something about that made me angry although I couldn't understand why.

"It makes me kind of mad," I replied, "but I don't know why."

"Of course you know why," Luna stated calmly, "It angers you that the world would dare live on as you rotted away. The thought of men, woman, animals and even plants living on while you no longer exist is a hard truth to acknowledge."

"Voldemort did not want the world to go on without him," Luna explained, "He wanted the world to either meet its end when he did or continue on forever with him shaping it and molding it."

"A lot of good that did him," I said with a snort and Luna nodded her head in agreement.

"It led him to his undoing," she added softly, "as it did the Slytherins who came before him."

My back began to ache from sitting for so long so I moved to kneel on my legs. Luna didn't seem to notice and her eyes remained fixed on the crystal ball. I leaned forward slightly to look into the ball but was unable to see anything.

"Although he was slightly different then the rest," she added plainly. "When Harry reflected the curse while he was only a baby, Voldemort gained knowledge that the others in his line had never understood." I waited in anticipation for her to finish her explanation but she remained silence. After a few minutes I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Well," I ground out, "What was this great knowledge that he gained?" Luna made no move to acknowledge she had even heard me but a moment later she began to speak once more.

"When Enkidu died he returned to tell Gilgamesh of how terrible the afterlife was," she replied in a bored tone, "After Enkidu's explanation the thought of dying terrified Gilgamesh, so much so that he stopped living and roamed the forests like an animal."

"He came across an old man who told him of a plant that would allow anyone who ate it to live forever," continued Luna, "Gilgamesh dove down into the sea to get the plant and he decided to bring the plant back to the old man so the old man could try it first."

"As Gilgamesh slept a snake slithered up and ate the magical plant, immediately shedding its skin and slithering away into the darkness. When Gilgamesh awoke the next morning and found the plant gone he fell to his knees and wept." She paused in her storytelling and studied me closely as if to make sure I was still listening.

"For whom have I labored? For whom have I journeyed?
For whom have I suffered?
I have gained absolutely nothing for myself,
I have only profited the snake, the ground lion!"

After she finished her little speech I just stared at her with a puzzled expression on my face. It seemed as if witches and wizards lacked the capability of giving straightforward answers and explanations. I longed for a simple muggle conversation, perhaps something about the weather or an undemanding question about my workplace.

"I don't understand," I growled loudly in frustration. Luna's expression remained unfazed by my small temper tantrum.

"The snake gained the ability to shed its skin," she explained, "Each time the snake shed its skin it became young again. No, that's not right. Not truly young…changed."

"Yes," she stated in a satisfied tone, "Each time the snake shed its skin it changed and became new again." I thought about her explanation for a moment before understanding washed over me.

"Voldemort was like a snake then," I answered hesitantly, "He became something new and that's how he kept himself alive so long. He just kept on changing himself."

"Exactly," Luna replied with a sigh, "He turned himself into a monster to stay alive. By the end he was so far away from being human that I doubt I would even say he was a man."

"But what does this have to do with anything," I said angrily as I stood up from the floor and began to pace. "All these dreams and snake stories, and blah, blah, blah…" I continued as I waved my hands in the air to show my aggravation. "I'm sick of this, I just want answers!"

Instantly the remaining candles were blown out and the room fell into darkness. I stood stock still in the middle of the room, afraid to move into the abyss around me. A soft glow caught the corner of my eye and I looked toward Luna. The crystal ball in front of her was glowing softly at its place on the table, eerily illuminating her cheekbones and lips but nothing else.

"Sit and I will tell you more than you ever wished to know," Luna called out in a raspy voice. I nervously found the pillow I had been sitting on and plopped down quickly. The corners of her mouth were turned up in a feral grin and her white eyes flashed momentarily through the darkness, before disappearing into the shadows once again.

"So you can tell me about my father's past," I asked curiously. Luna shook her head but her grin remained in place.

"No," she replied, "but I can teach you how to find the answers for yourself. If you call upon those from Harry's past then you may find the answers you seek."

"Call upon them?" I asked in confusion. "But no one that new him seems to want to tell me anything and half of what they do tell me I don't know if I can believe or not."

"Then you shall call upon those who have no reason to lie," Luna explained, "You are a Necromancer, are you not? Use that and seek out those that have passed on."

"Passed on? You mean I should ask someone who is dead?"

"The dead take their secrets to the grave," she stated in an eerie voice, "But once they leave the mortal world they have no reason to keep those secrets any longer."

"So they'll just tell me everything I want to know?" I asked skeptically.

"For a price, they will tell you everything they remember," She replied, "Every secret and every memory."

"A price?"

"Of course, do you think they will speak for free? Everything comes with a price."

What could I possibly offer a dead person? It wasn't as if I could bring them back and I doubt that they would want something as simple as money. After all, why in the world would they need it?

"I don't have anything to give someone who's dead," I stated sadly and was surprised when Luna chuckled in amusement.

"Yes you do my dear. You are alive, aren't you? The one thing the dead want more than anything is a connection to the living. It depends from one to the other, but many only wish to know what is happening in the world, or the status of their relatives, allies or enemies."

"What about my grandfather?" I asked abruptly, "Could I call him?" Luna hesitated for a moment before answering.

"I assume you do not mean James Potter," she responded, raising one eyebrow questioningly. I nodded in reply and she let out a loud sigh. "The Dark Lord resides in a place which no Necromancer would be able to reach, no matter how hard they tried," she replied cryptically. "Choose another."

"Okay," I said slowly, "Why not James Potter then? Or Lily?"

"No, no, no," Luna snapped while shaking her head furiously, "You do not understand. The only spirits which we can call upon are those who have not passed on completely. James and Lily Potter passed on the minute they were killed. The ones we seek are those that linger, those that are held back."

"Why would anyone be held back from passing on?" I asked in confusion.

"Many things can chain a person's soul to the world they left behind," she explained wearily, "Bitterness, anger, apathy, rage, and even strong feelings of revenge can keep a spirit in limbo."

I attempted to think of someone who had known my father and would have been held back. The only people I could think of were Death Eaters and I highly doubted that they would be too eager to speak to the daughter of Harry Potter. Of course, I am the granddaughter of Voldemort as well.

"What about Tonks?" I stated eagerly. My excitement changed into disappointment as Luna shook her head sadly.

"She has already made her choice," she explained softly, "She chose to pass on and leave this world forever." I stared at her for a moment, my throat constricting tightly as a feeling of shock passed through me.

"But why?" I asked in a whisper. "I don't understand."

"Your friend left this world knowing love," she stated with a tiny smile, "She had many good memories and she knew that she had someone who would join her someday."

I tried to reply but the words wouldn't come. I choked back a sob and buried my face in my hands. The memory of the look on Remus' face as he cried over the still form of his lover and friend suddenly came unbidden into my mind. Saltwater welled up in my eyes but I rubbed it away quickly. Crying wasn't going to help anything. I had no more time for tears.

"Who would you suggest?" I finally asked and figured that the question was what Luna was expecting because she didn't appear to be the least bit surprised by what I asked. Her eyelids dropped for a moment and I could see her eyes moving rapidly underneath the thin folds of skin. When her eyes opened they seemed to glow with an otherworldly light.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Luna replied simply and I began to laugh loudly. My laughter soon fell away as I noticed that Luna's smile had disappeared and she appeared to be completely serious.

"Lestrange?" I asked in disbelief, "Are you completely insane? That woman hated my father; why in the hell would she help me?"

"It's true she hated Harry Potter," she explained, "but she also was completely and utterly devoted to Voldemort. It's that loyalty that keeps her from passing on."

"So we're just going to leave out the fact that I'm Harry Potter's daughter?"

"Exactly," she replied simply, "and I have no doubt once we prove that you are the Dark Lord's granddaughter she will tell you anything you want to know, to a point of course."

"What?" I asked in confusion, "I thought you said that the dead could answer all of my questions?"

"They can't tell you things they do not know," Luna explained, "She will only be able to tell you what she, herself, remembers."

"So how do I call to her?" I questioned, "Just say her name out loud or something?"

"Of course not," she chided, "You will call out to her in your mind, introduce yourself and then wait for her to answer. If she does not appear then we will have to think of someone else."

"And how exactly am I going to prove that I'm Voldemort's granddaughter," I asked curiously.

"That will be the easy part," she stated matter-of-factly. She waved her hand in the air and a moment later a small, black snake was resting in her open palm. "Only an heir of Slytherin can speak to snakes."

"But my father…"

"Your father," Luna interrupted, "received the gift when Voldemort cursed him. It did not reside in his blood and so it would be impossible for him to ever pass it on. You, however, have the gift in your blood."

The snake seemed to regard me suspiciously as I reached out to take it from Luna. It cocked its head slightly as it looked up at me and I wondered if it knew that I would be able to understand it.

"Hello," I hissed tentatively and the snake seemed surprised.

"You speak," the snake exclaimed. "I am honored that you have chosen to speak to me, Master." It seemed to bow quickly before its yellow eyes gazed up at me once again.

"Why do you call me Master?" I hissed softly and the snake appeared confused by my question.

"All snakes serve the one who speaks," the snake replied incredulously, "It has been this way for all time." I sighed in frustration as I recalled just how difficult it was to have a conversation with an animal whose brain was roughly the size of a peanut.

"Call to her," Luna urged forcefully and I nodded in reply.

It was hard to think of the woman's name. I didn't know much about Bellatrix Lestrange but I did know that she was the one who shot the curse that caused Sirius to fall through the veil. I also knew that my father hated her. I attempted to keep those thoughts and feelings hidden as I called out to Bellatrix, announcing myself as Slytherin's heir and the granddaughter of her Lord.

In mere seconds a shadowy figure began to form to my right. I scooted backward across the floor in surprise. Luna stood gracefully and walked around the table toward me. She grabbed my arm and pulled me from the floor in one swift move.

"Do not fear her," she whispered in my ear as she pushed me toward the formless black mass, which seemed to kneel quickly as I approached.

"How do I know you are who you claim to be?" a female voice called out suspiciously. Luna motioned toward the snake and I sighed loudly.

"I need to speak to you to prove my identity," I hissed to the snake, "Nod your head so that she knows you hear me." The snake nodded its head and the effect on Bellatrix was immediate. In moments she was crawling across the floor toward me to kneel at my feet.

"I'm sorry Master," she wailed, "It was wrong of me to doubt you."

"Play along," Luna whispered softly as she stood behind me and I nodded in understanding.

"Yes," I replied sternly, "It was very wrong of you to question my identity. But I will forgive you if you tell me what I wish to know." The woman nodded wildly.

"Anything Master," she stated furiously, "I will tell you everything you wish to know."

The corners of my mouth twitched slightly as I watched one of the most feared Death Eaters kneeling at my feet. Severus had explained to me how powerful the witch was and how equally insane she had become due to Azkaban. This was also the woman who had killed my father's godfather, the man he cared for the most. It was Sirius' death that sent my father over the edge and groveling in front of me was the woman responsible.

"O yes my dear Bella," I snarled as a maniacal grin spread across my face, "You will tell me everything." She nodded in reply and glanced up at me quickly. For a moment I could see her face through the darkness, illuminated by a bright red glow shining down on her from above.

"Ask her quickly," Luna said softly, "She will not be able to stay very long."

"Tell me about Harry Potter," I sneered, "I want to know everything that happened to him after he left school."

"I fought Potter many times standing side-by-side with the Dark Lord," she stated, "He and his allies killed many Death Eaters while we in turn killed many of his friends and worthless ministry aurors."

"After his seventeenth birthday we caught him and took him back to the mansion," she continued and then paused for a moment. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated on remembering her past.

"What is it Bella?" I asked in a cool tone.

"It was odd," she replied and her eyes shifted as if she were looking at something in the distance, "Potter escaped somehow and things were different after that."

"Different how?"

"It is hard to explain," Bellatrix answered slowly, "The battles were the same and many died on both sides but the Dark Lord and Potter never fought the way they had in the past."

"They fought," she explained, "but it seemed practiced somehow almost as if it was some kind of game."

"Are you saying they no longer tried to kill each other?" I asked in disbelief and she nodded stiffly.

"But do not misunderstand me," she stammered quickly as she bowed her head, "I had complete faith in the Dark Lord and I knew there had to be a reason that he had changed his strategy. It is too bad that I was not around to see how it all turned out."

"You don't know?" I asked. My eyebrows shot up in surprise as she shook her head.

"No My Lord," she replied softly, "I was too weak and I was cut down in battle."

"Who killed you?"

"It was one of Potter's masked soldiers," she sneered, "I still remember the long lightning bolt painted on the mask he wore."

So Sirius did get his revenge then. That thought made me feel somewhat better about his part in the Brotherhood. Bellatrix watched me closely and gave me a puzzled look.

"If I may ask," she said softly, "what causes you to smile at my fate? Please tell me, was my death worthless?"

I didn't know how to reply to her question. She looked so hopeful and so needy. If I told her the truth then it would crush her. If I lied, well…if I lied I didn't know what would happen. I gave Luna a questioning look and she shook her head sadly. I nodded in understanding and turned back toward Bellatrix.

"How do you think things ended Bella?" I asked curiously.

"With My Lord defeating Potter and Dumbledore," she replied hopefully, "And then he would rule the wizarding world unopposed. After that he would take over the muggle world."

"If that happened," I said hesitantly, "then wouldn't he have called upon you himself?"

"Of course not," she scoffed, "The Dark Lord was powerful but he was never a Necromancer."

As I looked down at her I studied her matted and dirty hair, the haunted look in her eyes and the sorrow that lay behind them. Her whole body seemed to shake with weariness. That was when I decided that it was time for Bellatrix Lestrange to rest.

"Did you know the Dark Lord's daughters?" I asked and Bellatrix shook her head in reply.

"I did hear rumors that one of his daughters was a Death Eater but it was never confirmed," She said thoughtfully, "I suppose it must have been true if you are standing here."

"One more question. Do you know what happened to Rubeus Hagrid? I have been told that Harry Potter killed him but I was told no more than that."

"I do not remember," Bellatrix admitted sadly, "If he did then Potter did it after I was already dead."

"What did you think of Potter's skills in battle?" I asked curiously. She hesitated for a moment and shifted nervously under my gaze. "Just be honest Bella, I won't be mad."

"He was a demon," she replied coldly, "I had never seen anyone but the Dark Lord fight as he did. His allies were demons, vampires and even the dead, I know this for a fact. The Dark Lord had many dark creatures in his ranks and they could sense the darkness that surrounded Potter's army."

"I wondered sometimes why he did not join the Dark Lord," she continued in a thoughtful voice, "and I do not doubt that if the Dark Lord had not killed his parents then he and I would have inevitably ended up fighting on the same side."

"Do you really believe that?" I asked skeptically. She looked up and our eyes met. I almost stumbled back from the amount of hatred and pain that emanated from her.

"It was in his eyes," she whispered harshly, "Green like the killing curse." I shivered at her description. "Death lived and breathed in his eyes," she added in an ominous tone and the hair on the back of my neck raised up immediately.

"The war is over," I stated sternly. "The Dark Lord won and all of the things that you hoped for have come to pass," I continued in a softer tone as I knelt down in front of her. Without thinking I reached out and patted her shoulder softly. I half expected my hand to go straight through her but instead I felt an icy coldness at the contact with her shadowy robes.

"Rest now," I commanded and she nodded in reply. She offered me one genuinely happy smile before she began to disappear and my hand dropped to the floor.

I offered her a small smile in return but it fell away as soon as she was gone. The words she had spoken remain lodged in the front of my mind. Luna helped me up off the floor and I offered her a whispered "thank you". She nodded in reply and led me away from where Bellatrix had just been kneeling.

As we walked through the doorway in silence I couldn't help but glance back over my shoulder. A cold draft passed by and my long black hair wrapped around my face, blinding me for a moment. I whipped around quickly as I heard a soft voice next to my ear. Luna gave me a confused look but I just shook my head and motioned for her to continue on down the hall.

"Death lived and breathed in his eyes." The words were carried away on the wind but I would never forget them.

-

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it took so long to update. This chapter was really difficult for me for some reason and it actually took me about five or six hours to finish and proofread. I hope it will be enjoyed by all.

Jussy: Thanks so much for your kind words. I am glad that you enjoy my stories. There are many things that brought Jenny and Draco together. They both are angry people. Neither one had much of a childhood. There is another reason that has to do with the storyline itself, but that will come up in a later chapter. A I came up with the idea for writing about Harry Potter and his daughter the same way I come up with all of my story ideas. I dreamt about it. It was a vague dream but it gave me the idea that lead to this story. B As I said, the storyline was born from a dream. Also, after getting the initial idea of what I wanted to do I decided to tie it in with the Epic of Gilgamesh which I find fascinating. C The story itself motivates me to continue writing. I don't plan out what I'm going to write beforehand. I've tried making outlines in the past or writing notes and following a timelines, etc… but I write best when I put on my headphones and let my mind wander and allow my fingers to dutifully follow along. I think it helps that I can type as fast as I think which is probably one of the reasons I'm able to update so quickly.

Queen-of-monkey-magic: Thanks and I love your name.

Jbfritz: Thanks so much for your heartening words.

Misao, Demon Master: I'm glad that you are able to lose yourself in Jenny. I have tried to make her actions and responses realistic. She's definitely not modeled after me, except for all of the times she's said "holy crap" or "holy cow", which, I'm told by my friend Bob, is one of my favorite sayings.

Ms. Lippy: Actually, I don't make up the names for my stories and yes, Luna is blind. You ask a good question though. Perhaps there's a reason Luna never leaves her mansion…perhaps…just maybe…hint…hint…

Uncharnel – To remove from the charnel house, to raise from the grave, to exhume.

Mammetum – In Sumerian mythology Mammetum is the mother or creator of fate.

Erra – Also from Sumerian mythology, a form of Erragal god of the underworld as a hunter god, a god of war and plague.

crraze: Thanks for the review. I explained the four dreams roughly in this chapter but they will come up again later on so do not fret.

NickNova: I'm sorry if Jenny's relationship with Draco disgusts you. And I'm glad you find my story half decent. I would read your story but I've had my fill of Harry gets super powers and starts kicking ass plotlines...yawn…

Thanks for everyone who reviewed. I will probably post the next chapter tomorrow afternoon or night depending on how long it turns out. I already have a pretty good idea of how it's going to go so it might be a great bit longer then usual and I'm not giving any hints so you'll just have to wait and see.