I felt obligated to do this. As of this second I have no idea what it's going to be about, and as such there will be no title or warnings or anything.

It was depressing, really, how much shit England had to go through just to visit America.

Certainly, it wasn't as bad as it was in the old days, with the three-month ship voyages that might be attacked by the Spanish, forcing him to swim half the way there (he had luckily just come out of his pirate phase and was a very strong swimmer indeed), but it was so much of a hassle, especially when he wanted to come home and those TSA or whatever they were called agents got frisky with him!

America had told him he could always put a word in to the FBI or the CIA or Homeland Security or whoever controlled them, but England said no. He didn't want any favors.

Even if those favors kept him from being felt up by bored-looking middle-aged men who hated their job just as much as he did.

But it was all worth it in the end, wasn't it? He got to see America, didn't he? God, that look on the boy's face when he surprised him with a visit made it all so worthwhile. He'd go through a hundred TSA agents just to watch America's face go from bored to shocked to surprised to open-mouthed smiling glee.

The tackle hug that came next was nice too, even if he did complain about how it hurt his back whenever he received one.

And then there was that laugh that America did, which England never failed to say was so annoying, obnoxious, moronic, etc., which would just make America laugh even more, and then England would shove him off of him (because he was still on the ground from the tackle hug he'd just received) with a blush and a mutter of something along the lines of, "Shut up," and then America would get that offended look on his face and England would smooth things all over and then it would be all right.

Because it was obvious that America did the laugh to hide the pain of being called obnoxious or being complained to or, or the economy or something, but England never brought it up because he didn't want to upset the boy even more.

After that they would both stand up properly and hug like civilized men, except America's hands would usually stray to places they should really stay away from (while in public, at least—in the privacy of their own homes was another story), and England would grumble a bit and America would just say, "I've really missed you," and the way he said it made England certain that he really had.

And so at this point he'd stop with all of the defensive remarks and say something like, "Not as much as I've missed you," and America would smile so widely and hug him even tighter.

"That's totally not true! No way you missed me nearly as much as I missed you!"

"Of course, of course. Your love is the ocean to my single drop of water, I get it."

America would register vague recognition. "That sounds familiar. What's it from?"

And England would snort, "It's one of your own authors, stupid. William Goldman? The Princess Bride? I believe that was from the scene where Buttercup was originally confessing her love to Westley after she noticed the Duchess—"

But America would have interrupted him by now with a joyful, "Are you saying you love me like Buttercup loved Westley?"

"Of course not."

And America's face would fall. "Oh."

"Mine would be much more along the lines of Westley's love for Buttercup, which was past infinity and straight out the other side." England would give America a smug grin while he tried to figure out what this meant.

"Are you saying that you love me more than I love you?"

"I don't know. Why don't you read the book and find out?"

"Read? While I'm still alive?"

And England would say, "Now, that also sounds familiar."

"Ah, it was a kid's movie. A good one. It had dragons." And England would nod, because if it had dragons he probably would have seen it a million times (which he had, Flying Mint Bunny always picked it when it was her turn for movie night) and would therefore get the quote. Which he did.

And then they'd break off into normal, spontaneous conversation about the weather, new musicians (America was starting to listen to some kid from Essex named Alex Day, who England already knew everything about, even had a signed copy of his Lady Godiva single, but he wouldn't tell America that because America would most likely steal it), and eventually the trip over.

"It wasn't too bad this time, was it? Not too much turbulence?"

England would sigh. "No, that's not what bothers me. I can deal with turbulence. I was a pirate, you know." And that's just another similarity to Westley, who took over for the Dread Pirate Roberts, who was not actually the Dread Pirate Roberts but someone who took over for the man who took over for the original Dread Pirate Roberts, but we digress. "It wasn't the turbulence," he'd repeat. "It's mostly just having to wait so long to see you."

"Well, I know how that feels. I mean, I've got an almost unlimited supply of fun things to do, plus work, but it's always so boring when I don't have an England around to play with."

England would blush. "I-I mean," he would stammer to try to get his mind away from the topic of America playing with him, "there's so much land in the way. Why must there be so much…geography?"

America would laugh. "Oh, Iggy. Geography's just physics with trees stuck on." And he'd lean in close to England so he could feel America's hot breath on his face. Surprisingly, it didn't stink as badly as people assumed, what with all the hamburgers he ingested.

"You've been keeping up on your Pratchett, I see," England would reply breathily.

America would just grin again and close the gap between them, signifying neither a yes nor a no.

Really, going through all that shit just to see America was worth it when they got to share a moment like this one.

AN: Oh dear god what did I just write.

Well, it did only take like, ten to twenty minutes, I just sat here and wrote it. It's not that bad for the crap my brain is spewing out and saying "It's midnight and you need to sleep so you can scoop cat litter and play the oboe and go to the mall!"

Anyway, sorry about the last one. It was…not that great and I know it. I was tired, and deprived of the second season of Sherlock at the time. I apologize.

Who caught my three big references? I told you what one was, and gave some big hints to the others. The third didn't have an actual title that I can remember, but if you can remind me which book that last quote was from I will give you about over 9000 catfish points.

Which have about as much worth as a peso, but still.

I hope you enjoyed! See you all later~