a small man's worth is laid down by his side
a small man's worth can't weigh much more than pride
your scales have turned and made a beggar out of me
soft eyes heal all these empty hands
but who'll heal you
you've never been here,
you've never seen this social crier
who has built up more than fire
to keep out this cold you'll never know
-
I make a resolution as I take the first step to board the Hogwarts Express. I resolve that this year will be different then the last two. This year I'm going to be just like everyone else. This year I'm going to be Harry…just Harry.
A few hours later the train grinds to a halt and I stare out the window into the darkness beyond. Rain is falling in sheets and the air seems to grow cold.
"Perhaps the train broke down," I suggest hopefully. Hermione and Ron exchange a pointed look.
I know what they're thinking. It's almost as if I can hear their silent conversation. The Hogwarts Express breaking down doesn't seem possible. It's just too normal, too regular, to possible. Normal isn't possible when Harry Potter is involved.
No, not Harry Potter, I should say the Boy-Who-Lived. When the Boy-Who-Lived is involved normal things like trains breaking down don't happen. Instead gigantic snakes petrify students, evil dark lords possess teachers and crazed maniacs escape prisons to seek revenge. That's what happens to the Boy-Who-Lived.
The train jerks sharply and Ron lets out a frightened squeal. For a moment my thoughts drift to the possibility of another world, a world where a young boy is riding on a train on the way to a magical school.
I imagine him joking with his friends. I can almost hear the carefree laughter fill the air. I see him staring out the window, anxiously awaiting his third year. A happy family waits to see him on holidays and his biggest worries involve Quidditch and studies.
I find myself hating a boy who most likely doesn't even exist. I want to ring his neck. I want to steal his life. I want to take everything that he has. I want to be him.
As long as he is Harry Potter, I will never be.
-
November 26th 4:30AM, Saturday
Riddle Mansion, Chapel
"Her son?" I asked incredulously, "You mean Thomas don't you?"
"Thomas Gautier Riddle," Evelien answered with a nod, "It was my husband who chose his name. Thomas to signify him as his heir and Gautier which means 'Mighty Leader'."
"But why would she give up her son?" Khalida asked.
"This is not the place to speak of the past," Evelien replied wistfully as her eyes swept the room. "Let us move to a more suitable setting for such conversation." Evelien moved toward the door, which Khalida and I had just entered through but I latched onto her shoulder so she would stop.
"I want to see Draco first," I stated resolutely.
"Your friend is fine," Evelien said with a knowing smile, "He is still fast asleep and I have the mansion's most able house elves looking after him."
"I still want to see him."
"We'll go to see him after we hear what your grandmother has to say," Khalida whispered in my ear, "There is nothing we can do for Draco at the moment and who knows how long we'll be able to remain here."
The vampire was right of course. Thinking back to everything that had happened it was obvious that trouble seemed to follow wherever I went. If I wanted answers and explanations I would have to take them when I could get them.
"Lead on," I said in resignation as I let go of Evelien's shoulder and motioned toward the door. Blue eyes watched me for a moment before taking on a look of understanding.
"As you wish," she replied softly.
Khalida and I followed my grandmother down a few hallways until she stopped in front of a stairway leading to the second floor. A glistening silver barrier seemed to block our path upwards.
"These stairs lead up to the rooms that Oriel and I shared," Evelien explained as she took my hand and then took Khalida's, "My husband constructed a ward here that only he, Oriel and myself can get through."
The ward bowed slightly as she pulled us through to the other side. Khalida pulled her hand away but I left mine where it was. I could feel the weathered softness of my grandmother's palm and it was somewhat comforting.
We turned right at the top of the staircase and Evelien lead us to a door on the left side of the hallway. The door opened into a small sitting room decorated in varying shades of green. I glanced around for a moment before sitting down on the soft couch in the middle of the room. Khalida sat down on my right as Evelien took a seat in an armchair directly across from us.
A house elf popped in and set down a large tea tray. Khalida and I remained silent as Evelien poured out three cups of tea and offered one to each of us. I accepted mine with a slight smile while Khalida declined. I gave the vampire a wary look as I remembered that she hadn't fed in a long while.
"I'm fine," she said softly after she noticed my intense gaze, "I don't need to feed again for at least another day." I nodded in understanding and let the matter drop. Khalida is over a thousand years old, I felt stupid for thinking that she needs anyone to look after her.
"I remember the first time I heard your father's name," Evelien said, effectively breaking the silence that had built up around us.
"My husband had left to kill him while Harry was just a babe. He told me why. Some stupid prophecy or something of the sort, I can't quite remember it now, but I do remember worrying that he wouldn't return to me."
"I don't know why I felt the way I did, I suppose it was woman's intuition. I knew what my husband was. He was a monster, even though he didn't look it back then. It reminded me of the comic books I read when I was a little girl. He was the evil villain and you know what happens to all villains eventually."
"They're defeated by the hero," I interrupted, nodding in understanding.
"Exactly," Evelien replied sadly, "My husband was the villain and when he told me about the boy prophesied to destroy him I knew in my heart that Harry Potter was the hero. Voldemort didn't understand of course. He didn't understand that the good, dashing, noble hero always wins no matter how many times the evil villain seeks to destroy him."
"But Harry Potter was only a baby, he couldn't actually defeat anyone. When my husband didn't return that night I didn't sleep, instead I sat and waited for him to return. After two nights I knew he would not be returning but in my heart I knew he was still alive."
"Years passed and Oriel and I remained locked away here in the mansion. Adrienne had run off to god knows where and was doing god knows what and besides her no one else knew anything about us. Voldemort always kept us hidden away whenever Death Eaters came to the mansion and they were only able to enter the mansion when he called them using the mark."
"So you stayed here alone all those years?" Khalida asked and Evelien nodded her head sadly. "How did you survive?"
"The house elves took care of our needs," she explained with a sigh, "Every day I sent one out to get a copy of The Daily Prophet for any news of my husband."
"But why didn't you just leave?" I asked in confusion, "Hogsmeade is right down the road from Hogwarts."
"If I left I wouldn't be able to return. Only one with Riddle blood can see the mansion and even though Oriel has Riddle blood she has no magic so the wards would never accept her back inside. Essentially we were prisoners in our own home."
"That must have been hard sitting here and waiting day in and day out," Khalida interjected.
"It was difficult, but I managed," Evelien responded, "It was Oriel that worried me most. She was so young and the only memories she had of her father were the stories I would tell her."
"I never told her everything of course. I thought it best if she thought of her father as a kind but misunderstood man rather than the power hungry monster that he was. Looking back on it now I wonder if it wouldn't have been more humane to tell her the truth. At least that way she wouldn't have waited with so much hope in her heart."
"When he did return to us Oriel was already a teenager and even though she was naïve, she knew that the snake-like…thing that greeted her was not the man she had been waiting for. Yet she still loved him. What else could she do? He was her father after all."
A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of my mother loving the man who had ruined my father's life. How could anyone love an evil Dark Lord? Even the thought seemed impossible.
"How did Gilgamesh and Oriel meet?" Khalida asked curiously.
"Gilgamesh?" Evelien questioned in confusion.
"It's Khalida's nickname for Harry," I explained and my grandmother nodded in understanding.
"It was an accident really," Evelien continued as the corners of her mouth turned up into an amused grin, "My husband kidnapped Harry and brought him back to the mansion. I told him that he always underestimated Oriel's curiosity but he never believed me. He underestimated the Potter boy as well."
"Why didn't he just kill my father when he caught him?"
"He was too frightened," she explained. Khalida and I both sat in stunned silence as we waited for her to continue.
"He still had no clue how Harry defeated him the first time. Then Harry foiled him again when the boy was only eleven. When my husband rose again and still couldn't defeat the boy at fourteen he began to suspect that there was a reason behind it all."
"The Prophecy," I interrupted and Evelien gave a slight nod in reply.
"That wasn't the only reason," she explained, "It was also the strange connection they shared. I think that's what frightened him most of all. If one end of the connection was severed who could say what would happen to the other end."
"I always thought of it as a battery connected to a light. If you were to pull the cord then the light would go out and the battery would give power to nothing. Both would still exist, but they would be completely useless."
"You still haven't explained how my father met my mother."
"No, I suppose I haven't," Evelien replied with a small sigh.
"Oriel was always curious. Being locked away in the mansion for so many years, as well as being without a father, made her very curious about what he was up to. Voldemort wanted Oriel to know nothing about it of course which, as most parents understand, made her all the more intent on finding out."
"Harry escaped from the dungeons while Oriel was out one night wandering the mansion, searching for her father I expect. I'm not exactly sure what transpired that night but I do know that Oriel was taken with Harry almost immediately."
"Isn't that too be expected though?" Khalida asked hesitantly, "It's not as if she'd been around many young men."
"None to be exact," Evelien responded, "I'm sure that had something to do with it but I also think that young Mr. Potter reminded her of her father."
"My father was nothing like Voldemort," I exclaimed in disbelief.
"Not in ideology but in emotion they were much the same," Evelien explained softly.
"I was highly amused by the entire situation," she chuckled, "My husband spoiled Oriel so much after his return. He gave her everything and anything she wanted, never realizing that the things he gave her were not what she truly desired."
"Your father was what she desired," Evelien added as she refilled my cup.
"The one thing Voldemort couldn't give her," Khalida said softly. Evelien shook her head and laughed loudly.
"I told you Oriel got whatever she wanted and Harry was what she wanted. Once she made her decision I knew she would do anything to keep hold of him, even if it meant turning on her own father."
"Your father was the same," Evelien continued, "It was obvious that he had never known real and unconditional love. He would have done anything for her, even turn against everything he was taught and all that he believed."
"Are you saying my father turned against the light because of my mother?" I asked incredulously.
"No, no, no," Evelien replied softly while shaking her head. "He didn't turn on anything. When I met him it was obvious that he was no longer the dashing and noble hero. Perhaps if Dumbledore would have let him grow as he should have he would have easily defeated my husband once he'd grown into adulthood."
"The Harry that Oriel introduced me to was not the savior of the wizarding world. He was a dark young man, jaded and bitter. The only reason he was still after my husband was for revenge. It was definitely not because he wished to save a world that had failed him so many times."
"So what was the contract?" Khalida asked with a curious look.
"It was my daughter's idea, as surprising as it was," Evelien said as her eyes glazed over slightly, "She convinced your father and my husband to go along with the whole thing."
"Oriel and Harry would be allowed to see each other and be together," she continued, "Also, my husband and Harry agreed to stop trying to kill each other. Every fight they had after the contract was forged was a complete farce."
"Once the terms of the contract were met my husband agreed to allow the both of them to leave but they would have to live in another country. Harry would never bother Voldemort again and vice versa. The condition of the contract was that Voldemort would get one of Harry and Oriel's children once they reached six years of age."
"I can't believe my father would go along with something like that," I interrupted in a disbelieving tone.
"Oriel convinced him to sign the contract," Evelien explained sadly, "Neither of them understood that it's impossible to sacrifice one love for another."
"A mother's heart or a lover's heart," she added softly, "How could anyone make such a choice?"
"But what if the child was born without magic?" I asked curiously, "I mean, you're a muggle and Oriel wasn't a witch. Plus, my father was only a half-blood, so weren't the chances of that happening pretty good?"
"That was what the two of them were hoping for," replied Evelien, "If their child was without magic then the contract would be nullified for the time being. But if they were to have more children then that child would fulfill the terms of the contract."
"It was Harry's idea that if they were to have a child, and the child was born a muggle then that would be their only child," she added.
"Sounds like a pretty good plan," Khalida interjected, "but obviously things didn't turn out that way."
"Correct," Evelien replied sadly, "When Thomas was born we had no way of knowing if he would be a wizard or not. Then, after he was only a few months old, he fell out of his crib and stopped before he could hit the floor."
"I'll never forget that," she continued tearfully, "From what I had read regarding wizarding children, the first time a child shows signs of magic should be a happy occasion but I thought I would die from my heart breaking."
"What happened then?" I asked as I laid my teacup down on the table in front of me. "Did you try to hide it from Voldemort?"
"There was no way to hide it from my husband," Evelien replied as she wiped away a few stray tears, "He knew what had happened the moment the magic burst out from little Thomas."
"So what did Oriel do?" Khalida questioned.
"The only thing she could do," Evelien answered despondently, "She broke the contract."
"But how could my mother just break the contract?"
"There's only one way I can think of," Khalida said thoughtfully and Evelien nodded in reply.
"She killed her son, your brother," Evelien responded and I could feel my heart leap into my throat, "and she saved him from an awful fate."
"How can killing someone SAVE THEM?" I exclaimed loudly.
"My grandson's fate would have been a fate worse then death, one that I would wish upon no one, especially not a child," Evelien explained sadly, "and now it is yours."
-
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