you've never been here
you've never held the hand of the higher
feeling all his life transpire
with the one soft touch I will always know
you'll pray to your prophet but let it fall
you'll control your fate but just let it fall,
you'll lose your life, just let it fall,
practice the promise and let it fall.
oOo
December 8th 3PM, Thursday
Edinburgh Airport
"Just cast the stupid invisibility charms on us and let's go!" I whispered harshly.
"Hurry it up," Khalida added as she peaked out around the small luggage cart we were hiding behind.
A gigantic plane with the words 'Air Europa' printed on the side was a few feet away from us. I watched the workers load the luggage and panicked slightly when I saw only a few suitcases left in the bottom of the bin.
"Would you two stop pestering me?" Draco snapped angrily, "I'm trying to remember this stupid charm and if I don't get it right it won't last nearly long enough to even get us close to that stupid muggle contraption."
"That stupid muggle contraption is our ticket to Madrid…" I began.
"Yes, yes," Draco interrupted with a nonchalant wave of his hand, "I know the itinerary. From Madrid we head to Boston, which I still don't understand."
"We'll discuss it once we're on the plane," Khalida hissed, "We need to go now before they close up." Draco and I both looked up in surprise to see that the workers had finished.
"Bloody hell," Draco muttered under his breath, "I can't remember that stupid spell." Khalida began to try and help him remember. I could see the luggage compartment door begin to close so I grabbed both their hands and dragged them along behind me.
"We're doing this the old fashioned way," I whispered loud enough for the both of them to hear.
With a swiftness I didn't know I possessed I rushed toward the door. No one seemed to notice and the only sound was the grunt that escaped Draco as I pushed him through the small doorway into the darkness beyond. Khalida slipped in quickly and before the door could shut completely I slithered inside.
Once the door was closed we sat in silence for a few seconds. I shifted uncomfortably, partially buried under a pile of suitcases and bags. I reached for my wand to cast a "Lumos" spell but Draco beat me to it. Khalida and I quickly shielded our eyes from the bright light until we had enough time to adjust.
"I still have my bag," I stated with a relieved sigh, "but I think I lost my hat." I quickly scanned the area around me but couldn't see the ugly red thing anywhere.
"We'll just find a new one in here somewhere," Draco replied and then smirked evilly, "If we can't find another hat I'm sure we can find something else to cover that…it."
"It's just a scar Draco." I responded while rolling my eyes dramatically. "You'd think it was the scariest thing since Voldemort."
"Why don't we go over the rest of the travel plans?" Khalida interrupted before one of our usual fights could begin.
I pulled out my notebook and motioned for Draco to move the light closer. After flipping through a few pages I stopped when I saw what I had written regarding the airport in Madrid.
As I scanned the page in front of me I mentally thanked whatever gods there were that the hotel in Edinburgh had a high-speed internet connection. Since we were traveling the muggle way I had no doubt that I would be utilizing my laptop more and more as we went. Relying on something that I was familiar with was comforting.
"From Madrid we go to Boston," I explained, "Then we hop a flight to Houston and from there we're home free to Porto Velho."
"Porto Velho?" Draco asked in confusion, "I thought we were heading toward some city called Esperanca."
"We would if we could," I replied, "but I wasn't able to find any flights into Esperanca until a much later date so I'm afraid we'll have to work with what we've got. I figure once we get to Porto Velho we can fly on broom the rest of the way."
"It sounds like a good plan to me," Khalida offered with a warm smile.
"Thanks."
"Well I think it sounds horrid," Draco broke in and Khalida hissed at him angrily.
"Well it does," he continued, ignoring the glare Khalida was sending his way, "I hate muggle transportation and hopping from one of these dirty, stinky things to the next sounds bloody awful!"
"So you have a better idea?" I asked curiously.
Draco opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted as the plane's engines roared to life. A moment later I could feel the plane moving and I knew we were heading toward the gate so the paying passengers could board.
We remained completely silent for the next half hour or so, each of us afraid that we might be found out. The muggles weren't much of a problem. If the worst happened then we'd simply have to obliviate a few of them and everything would be fine. What scared us was the fact that anyone could be on the plane, especially with Hogwarts still fairly close. For all we knew there could be a few wizards above us or possibly even a vampire or werewolf.
The plane started to move again and I could see Draco tense as it picked up speed. Khalida leaned back on a suitcase and pretended to study her nails while she watched the Slytherin out of the corner of her eye. I wondered what she was waiting for but that question was answered a minute later when the plane finally took off and I had a lapful of blonde hair.
"First flight?" I asked softly and I could feel Draco nod against my thigh.
"First muggle flight," Khalida clarified and Draco nodded once more.
"God Draco, can't you be a little more Gryffindor or something?" I questioned while trying to hold back the laughter that was about to escape.
"Gryffindor!" he exclaimed in a horrified tone, "How could you even suggest such a thing!"
"Well, you could do with a bit more bravery," Khalida offered amusedly.
"Slytherins believe in self-preservation," Draco replied haughtily, "That's why we all live so long."
"Yeah but what's the use in living if you don't take any chances?" Khalida questioned.
"They call it living for a reason," Draco responded, "If we all behaved like foolhardy Gryffindors then they'd call it dying instead."
"Everyone dies though…eventually," I replied shortly.
"That's my point exactly," Draco stated while Khalida and I exchanged confused looks, "Everyone has to die but there's no reason to rush things."
The three of us became silent after that. Draco sat with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face while Khalida and I tried to think of a good comeback. After a few minutes I could only think of one thing to say and it wasn't very intelligent.
"Stop being such a blonde."
oOo
December 9th, 9PM Friday
Madrid Airport
"You've got to be kidding me," Draco exclaimed in indignation.
"Keep your voice down," I whispered angrily, "Just do your business and let's catch our next flight."
Draco turned to face the wall once again. Every once in awhile he would glance back to make sure I wasn't attempting to take a peek. Of course, each time he did this I turned away so he wouldn't know that I was attempting to take a peek. I should've just walked around the corner but my curiosity just wouldn't allow it.
"Are you done yet?"
"I can't do this with you standing there watching!"
"Well Khalida said we need to stay together until she gets back."
"I doubt she meant this close together," huffed Draco, "Can't you go around the corner and wait or something?"
"Nope," I replied while shaking my head, "If I let you out of my sight you might do something stupid and make us miss our flight."
"So, we'll just take the next one then."
"The next flight to Boston isn't until tomorrow morning."
"So?"
"So, we can't stay in the same place too long," I stated warily, "If some witch or wizard spots us then we'll really be in a bind. Plus I'm sure there's muggles here that have heard about my alleged kidnapping."
I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for Draco to finish what he hadn't even started yet. After a few more seconds of silence I threw my hands up and gave a small shout.
"My God Draco, can you take any longer!"
"I can't help it," Draco growled, "I need some background noise or something. This situation is just too…awkward."
"What do you want me to do?" I asked in frustration, "Should I sing or something?" Draco seemed to think about my question for a moment before nodding in reply. "You've got to be kidding!" I exclaimed.
"No, I think it will work," he stated in a serious tone, "You don't have to sing well or anything. You can even hum if you can't think of a song. I just need something to distract me."
A song to sing while a male wizard relieves himself, that's what I was thinking about while planes were landing and taking off behind me. The more I attempted to think of something the more I drew a complete blank.
"I don't know what to sing," I muttered in an annoyed tone.
"Just sing something so I can finish up," Draco huffed. Without a second thought I began to sing the first thing that came to me. It was a song my father used to sing to me when I was a child.
"You dig down underground now. Through the soil, through the cooling clay. As the din fades above you, you're moving, you're secret, you're nowhere, it's all good.
"And no lights lead you onwards. And no signs point you on your way. Just earth in all directions, it's endless, it's mapless, no compass, no north star."
My eyes remained firmly fixed on the ground in front of my feet and I could feel myself blushing horribly. Draco zipped up and I glanced at him. Our eyes met and he padded over to stand in front of me, his eyes never leaving my own.
"That was beautiful," he whispered and then pulled me into a kiss. A moment later, just as Draco's tongue somehow found its way into my mouth, we were interrupted by a very peeved off vampire clearing her throat loudly.
I pulled away quickly and stared at the ground, embarrassed beyond belief. Draco on the other hand just stood there staring at the vampire, not looking the least bit phased at being caught red-handed. The only clue that anything had happened was the huge grin on his face.
"I can't leave you two alone for a second can I?" Khalida grumbled angrily.
"You were gone longer then a second," Draco stated nonchalantly.
"Draco," I hissed warningly but Draco just shrugged and took my hand.
"We could have done anything in the minutes that you were gone," Draco added as he dragged me past Khalida and toward our plane.
"But we didn't," I stated assuredly and Khalida sighed in relief.
"I was too tired from last night to be of much good," Draco responded lightly before letting go of my hand and running away.
Khalida took off after him just seconds later and I rushed along behind. The three of us laughed merrily as we jumped through the doorway leading to where the luggage was held underneath the plane. For a few minutes we forgot about the problems that plagued us and it felt good. Fortunately, even in these times of blissful amusement we were not oblivious to the dangers that awaited us in the future.
It was unfortunate however, as we ran across the tarmac, we were completely unaware of those that might be watching our every move.
oOo
December 12th 5PM, Monday
Boston Airport
"I always thought seeing the world would be much more enjoyable then this."
"Shut up, Draco," I ground out angrily.
"And a lot less smelly," Draco added. I swung in his direction in an attempt to hit the side of his head but instead I ended up sinking deeper into the mountainous pile of bags and suitcases beneath me.
Four days of traveling with no showers or baths had begun to take its toll. Draco and I smelled as one would expect, a hearty mixture of body odor and sweat while Khalida's scent was something altogether different. If there was ever anything I never wanted to find out first hand it's that vampires smell exactly how they're supposed to after a few days without bathing. To put it bluntly, she stunk like a corpse.
"Cast a few more scourgify's on us then and see if that helps," Khalida offered.
"Why don't you let me do it?" I asked hopefully, "I haven't used any magic in days." Draco shook his head quickly.
"I don't think you should use your wand anymore," he replied in a serious tone, "unless it's a life or death situation."
"Why not?" I asked in confusion.
"I've been thinking," Draco stated while glaring at me as if daring me to crack a joke. I fought the urge and allowed him to continue. "We have no idea where your wand came from. For all we know there could be all sorts of tracking spells on that thing and if it's used then someone might be able to find us."
"Can't you check and see if there's anything on it?" I questioned. "And why didn't you bring this up before? I've been using this thing for awhile now, you know?"
"I didn't really think about it before and I'm not even going to attempt checking it. I'd be too afraid to set one off," he responded.
"Do you think we could find out who had the wand before?" Khalida asked.
"Sure," Draco said with a shrug, "but we would have to take it to someone who makes wands like Ollivander, they might know."
"Well," I commented slowly, "whoever had it before must not be looking for it or they could have found me any of those times I've used it before." Draco and Khalida exchanged a knowing look.
"What?" I asked in confusion, "Did I say something?"
"Jenny…" Khalida began, "perhaps whomever had the wand before wanted it to be found."
"But then why wouldn't they just come after me once I used it?" I questioned.
"Because they hadn't wanted to before," Draco responded simply.
"But why? That doesn't even make sense." Khalida's brow furrowed noticeably and I waited for her to voice her thoughts.
"Perhaps they're allowing you to remain on your path," she suggested and my eyes widened in surprise.
"Maybe whoever this person is," Draco added thoughtfully, "hopes that you'll lead them to something."
"Do you think we're being followed?" I asked nervously. Draco shook his head while Khalida nodded her own.
"Well, which one is it?"
"I don't think we're being followed," Draco stated forcefully.
"I do," Khalida responded, "Our trip has been going too well."
"TOO WELL!" Draco exclaimed angrily as he motioned to the luggage surrounding him, "You call traveling under a muggle plane with a bunch of muggle luggage…" Draco's voice broke off into loud sputters and unintelligible noises.
As much as I wanted to agree with Draco I knew that Khalida was right. Our travel so far had been devoid of any obstacles. Something should have happened by now, some conflict or at least we should have been sighted once or twice.
"You're right," I stated to Khalida, "Everything has been way too easy so far. It's almost as if…as if…"
"As if what?" Draco asked in confusion. I paused for a moment as I tried to formulate into words exactly what I was thinking.
"As if someone's helping us along," Khalida offered and I nodded in agreement.
"You're both insane!" Draco huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest and laid back into the suitcases behind him. He rummaged through the bag next to him and pulled out a soft quilt.
"Draco…" I began softly but he was completely ignoring me. A moment later he pulled the quilt over his head and pretended to sleep.
"He knows we're right," Khalida suggested quietly, "and it scares him."
"It scares me too," I replied before laying back and attempting to sleep.
oOo
December 14th 3AM, Wednesday
Houston Airport
The lightning rips through the sky once more and I see a flash of light. Something is reflecting the light. White hot pain, but where is it coming from? Something wet on my stomach. I'm surrounded by darkness. Moving, undulating darkness. I hear the sound of fabric shifting in the wind. My voice is carried on the wind.
The darkness fades and fire is all around me. I touch the wall of stone and it is hot like a skillet on a stove. A woman is crying out for help. Children are screaming. Ashes falling through the sky. Why is it raining ashes?
My hair is gray with ash. Salt and peppered like my father's hair. I run my finger down my forehead and I can feel the scar. My hand is still pressed against the stone and I feel it beckoning to me. Trying to tell me something in a whisper but I can't hear. Not with the crying and the shouting. I open my mouth to yell. I want to tell everyone to be quiet. Something tells me the whisper is important. My scar suddenly itches and I scratch it. The itch doesn't go away.
The wall is gone. Everything is quiet. I recognize this place. I'm walking through ashes. There's something I need here. There's something I'm looking for. I don't understand and something in the ashes has the answers I seek, but where is it? What is it?
I feel a memory being pulled to the front of my mind. It's wrong. There's something wrong. My heart tells me to hide my memories away. Memories are private things but something is pulling this one forward. It's getting closer and I can make out the door to my father's study. I'm walking toward the door. Unconsciously my small hand comes to rest on the knob, a child's hand. I feel an urge to open the door and let this memory play out but I push it back. I push away from the door. My scar burns now. It's hot, like fire, and I'm clawing at it with my fingernails.
"JENNY! JENNY!" Draco screamed at me as he roughly pulled my hands away from my forehead. "Stop it Jenny! Wake up PLEASE!"
Draco's blonde hair began to come into focus. I blinked a few times and attempted to remember where I was. A quick glance around the room told me that we were still in the airport. Piles of boards and plywood lay all around. Construction was being done making it a perfect place to hide out for the night. It was fairly quiet as well, except for the faint rustling of the plastic covering that we'd torn off the wall to our right and thrown on the floor.
"Khalida!" Draco yelled loudly, "Get your ass back here you bloody stupid fucking vampire!"
"What a mouth you have," I whispered in a hoarse voice.
Draco's eyes widened in surprise as he turned to look down at me and I couldn't help but chuckle. The look of surprise quickly turned into one of relief and I was pulled into a tight hug.
"You scared the hell out of me," Draco chided softly as he pulled my head down to his shoulder. His left arm was wrapped tightly around my back while his right hand wound its way through my dirty, matted black locks.
"Ugh, don't do that Draco, I'm disgusting."
"I don't care," Draco replied lightly, "I don't care if you smell like a bloody sewer, I'll still want you anyway."
My eyelids began to droop which I couldn't understand considering I had just woken up. Apparently my nightmares exhausted me more than I realized. I pulled Draco down as I lay on my back. His left arm remained wrapped around me as if he was trying to convince himself that I was okay.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Draco questioned and we both knew what he was asking.
"Not particularly," I replied blandly. My mouth split into a wide yawn and I was glad when Draco let out a defeated sigh.
Truthfully I wasn't exactly glad. As much as I didn't want to talk about the nightmares, I knew they could be important. There was no need to worry Draco though. If something happened and it was apparent that he needed to know, well…then, I'd tell him, I suppose. But until then...
oOo
December 15th 3PM, Thursday
Porto Velho
"Thank Merlin that was our last muggle plane ride!" Draco exclaimed happily as he stretched out on the ground.
"Yes," Khalida replied with a smirk, "Now we're going to steal a muggle car and drive a few…oh…hundred miles or so."
"What?" Draco hissed loudly, "You've got to be kidding me!"
"She is," I broke in, shaking my head in amusement, "We're going to fly the rest of the way."
We made our way out of the airport and ducked down a deserted alleyway. Once we were sure that we wouldn't be seen we took off into the air, Draco on my father's Firebolt with me riding behind him and Khalida flying next to us all on her own. I envied the vampire slightly. It would be wonderful to be able to take to the skies whenever I felt like it.
"You're so lucky," I said sadly, "I'd love to be able to fly without a broom. What's it like?" Khalida just shrugged, which must be a difficult thing to do while you're flying.
"I guess I've never really thought about it," she replied, "I've just always been able to do it."
"Is that how magic is for you Draco?" I questioned, "Are you so used to it that it just seems normal to you?"
"I suppose I am used to it," Draco responded thoughtfully, "I guess I've never thought about it before."
"I wonder if it will ever be like that for me," I commented, "Maybe someday I'll think things like flying on brooms and speaking to snakes are completely normal."
"I hate to say this Jenny," Draco began in an amused tone, "but I doubt anything will ever be normal for you."
"Hey!" I exclaimed indignantly, "My childhood was pretty normal."
"Just ignore him," Khalida urged, "He's just trying to get to you." Draco rolled his eyes and then followed by rolling the broom underneath him causing my grip on his waist to tighten. I let out a piercing scream as we righted ourselves once again.
"Face it Jenny," Draco said while glancing over his shoulder to look at me, "your life was never normal, it was extraordinary from the moment you were born."
"Whether you knew it or not," he added while turning his attention back to the sky ahead.
"Well maybe I was better off not knowing," I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?" Draco asked in confusion. Khalida gave me a look of understanding before drifting off to fly a few feet ahead of us.
"I said it's a good thing it's not snowing!" I yelled loudly right into his ear. He cringed slightly and then flashed me a puzzled look over his shoulder.
"Why in the world would it be snowing in Brazil?"
"Who knows…" I said and shrugged nonchalantly. Draco shook his head slowly and turned back around.
"Snowing in Brazil…" Draco muttered, "Like I said…definitely…not normal."
oOo
December 16th 11PM, Friday
50 Kilometers South of Esperanca, Brazil
Through the darkness I could make out the outline of a small cottage. It sat all alone in the middle of nowhere. A moment ago it had appeared a few feet away, almost as if it materialized out of thin air. I questioned Khalida about it but she said that even a being as old as herself did not know how something as complex as the Fidelius charm works.
We sat across from the cottage, each of us studying it intently. No one had gone in and no one had gone out. Without a word to Draco or I, Khalida made her way to the back of the building. A few minutes later she returned and stated that there was no back door that she could see. Then thunder rumbled off in the distance and I began to get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"There's something not right here," I whispered forcefully, "I can feel it. This seems almost…familiar."
"Of course something's not right here," Draco hissed, "Who would live in a cottage out in the middle of nowhere under the Fidelius with a snake as its secret keeper. Do I have to remind you who could be in that quaint little cottage?"
I glanced at the small, brown structure and my stomach churned once more. Thunder rumbled again and large drops of rain began to fall, running down my forehead and off my nose. Without realizing what I was doing, I raised a hand to my scar and scratched at it lightly. A bolt of lightning crashed across the sky above us and that's when it all came back to me.
"My dream!" I exclaimed loudly. Draco and Khalida shushed me. Each one grabbed an arm and they pulled me to the ground.
"Are you bloody insane?" Draco hissed.
The three of us froze as we heard footsteps making their way toward us. It was soft padding noise at first but as it grew louder it reminded me of the sound of horse hooves crashing into the dirt. I held my breath and closed my eyes for a moment, expecting the worst.
But it didn't come. Instead the footsteps changed direction and made their way toward the cottage. When they seemed to be far enough away I finally allowed myself to look up. Draco and Khalida followed my gaze and we watched intently as a man of medium height and build made his way toward the small, wooden door.
"What now?" Draco whispered softly.
"We go and find out who he is," Khalida replied quietly. Another bolt of lightning lit up the night. I tried to get a glimpse of the man but all I could make out was a tuft of brown hair and I could see that the man was definitely wearing muggle clothing. It looked like a t-shirt and a pair of brown slacks.
"I don't think we should," I responded warily, "I have a really bad feeling about this."
"Well we can't lay here all night," Draco stated, "and I'm getting sick of waiting around."
Before Khalida or I could stop him Draco stood and started toward the cottage. Khalida and I followed behind him at a slower pace. I glanced hesitantly up at the sky and cringed as the storm raged on.
The man finally noticed us as he reached for the doorknob and the three of us stopped in our tracks a few feet away. Everything was quiet for a moment before a soft voice called out.
"Harry, is that you?" the man questioned softly. "What are you doing sneaking around out here?"
"We're friends of Harry's," Draco answered and the man backed away quickly.
"Who are you?" the man growled.
"I told you…" before Draco could complete his reply a huge bolt of lightning streaked across the sky above us and for a few seconds it was as bright as day.
The man's brown eyes flitted to my forehead in those few seconds of light. The darkness returned and everything was thrown into chaos.
"I don't know who sent you, but…"
"No one sent us," Draco replied hotly, "We went through a lot to find this place."
"Who the hell are you people?" the man screamed, "And what the fuck have you done to Harry?"
"We didn't do anything…" Khalida began.
"Tell me who you are!"
My body seemed to move of its own accord as I stepped forward. My lips followed a moment later as I unconsciously spoke my own name.
"Jenny Riddle."
There was a loud gasp, which was quickly swallowed up by the rumbling of thunder. The man took a step forward and lightning followed. I could see something in his hands, something reflecting the light. There was a clicking noise that I didn't recognize and then a loud bang. It was the type of bang that I'd heard in the movies, but never in real life.
Then it came. It was the white, hot pain ripping through my stomach. The pain soon faded to a dull ache and I clutched my hands to my stomach. My shirt seemed to be wet.
"Jenny!" Draco called out as he rushed to my side.
Moment's later black robed figures began popping up all around me. They surrounded me as Draco lowered my limp body to the ground. The painted white lines on their masks told me they were the Brotherhood.
Draco kept calling to me but I could barely hear him. All of my attention was directed at the brown-haired man standing a few feet away. The man who seemed so familiar but yet…not.
I felt stupid for a moment. My nightmare had come true and I hadn't done anything to stop it. There was a whisper in my ear, a small voice reminding me of something forgotten long ago.
"My friend, did you not call out to me? Why did I wake up?
Did you not touch me? Why am I so disturbed?
Did a god pass by? Why are my muscles trembling?
Enkidu, my friend, I have had a fifth dream,
and the dream I had was deeply disturbing.
The night sky was lit as if it were day,
and a deceptive star glittered before me, beckoning me ever closer.
Silence was ripped in two by the hooves of a thundering monster.
But I could only stand like stone as it gored through my middle
The darkness fell away and the monster had disappeared.
So it was that I saw the true form of the beast
The beast walked as a man, spoke as a man, and appeared as a man.
A man formed as I was formed. A man created as I was created.
Blood drained from my wound and pooled on the ground until I was lying in the middle of a dark, red circle. Draco and Khalida were still calling my name. I tried to make out their faces but instead only one image appeared above me, the last thing I saw before the pain.
A much younger and thinner Charles Smith staring back at me.
oOo
oOo
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry this update took so long. I have been in the process of moving and that took up a lot of my time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
This weekend I'm flying out to Atlanta for work and will be gone all next week so as much as I'd like to say I'll update soon, I'm not able to. Hopefully I will be able to update right away when I get back since I should be getting my internet hooked up at my new place.
UPDATE: If you haven't noticed by now, at the start of each chapter I've been using lyrics from different songs. If you go to my website and click on the "Fanfiction Music" link you will be able to listen to a few of them. Right now I only have the first two songs used for "Uncharnel" (Jawbreaker-Basilica and Mineral-Slower) but I will probably post new ones and take those out after a few weeks.
Thanks again for reading and reviewing!