"Sullen Girl"-Fiona Apple

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day - and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel - to take flight -
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Is that why they call me a sullen girl - sullen girl
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
but he washed my shore and he took my pearl
And left and empty shell of me
And there's too much going on
But it's clam under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
It's calm under the waves in the blur of my oblivion

I saw him visibly swallow and look away. When he did look back at me, there were many expressions on his face, and emotions in his brown eyes, it was hard to keep up with them. I waited, to find out the truth. Something that had been eating me alive day by day.

"It was,but-" he said, finally. I breathed out in relief to know it had meant something to him, at least at one point. It was my turn to swallow and grimace at the catch.

"But what?" I asked in a whisper. I was afraid to hear what he had to say, but I had asked, it didn't matter if it hurt me, I needed to know.

"Not now."

I bit the inside of my cheek till I tasted my own blood. The rejection came through loud and clear. I nodded, grabbing my stuff, without looking at him. I started walking away from him, ignoring his pleas to turn around, and talk this out. When I did turn around, my face was expressionless, my voice was so cold I barely recognized it.

"I want you to remember Mr. Belikov, this is strictly business."

There was a man on top of me, he kept telling me to be quiet. I moaned. not out of pleasure but of pain. I was so dizzy... I couldn't see anything. It was all blurry and dark...

But my cheeks were wet with.. Tears? Something was wrong, I cried out, but he covered my mouth with his hand. It smelled of... Mint? I swallowed, my head was truly spinning. I wasn't thinking right, was I? What was he doing... But deep down I knew... I knew... And I felt dirtier than ever...I moaned in pain, and more tears fell as he...

Raped me.

I woke up screaming at the top on my lungs. The scream died out as I realized I was back in my room, I was in a tangled mess of sheets, I was breathing in and out when Lissa burst into the room.

She ran to my bed, "What is it?"

"Bad dream," I muttered, laying back down. She looked at me, concerned.

"What was it about?" she asked, running a hand through my hair and wiping my sweat away from my face.

"A friend told me she was raped back in college..." I trailed off, and she nodded in understatement.

"You dreamt about it," she said slowly. I nodded and she hugged me.

"Wasn't you baby girl, you're fine now." I nodded against her chest, feeling much better.

"Stay with me?" I asked in a whisper.

"Of course."

We leaned back on the bed, and we fell asleep, together, this time without nightmares.

"Just relax Miss Hathaway, you'll be fine." I rolled my eyes as the doctor stuck the needle in my. I jumped a bit and bit my lip.

"Sorry," she mumbled. Lissa squeezed my shoulder, and the doctor pulled out. She stared at it, and snapped her gloves out.

"Alright, you're done. Take it easy now," she said gently, and gave me the go. I dressed and walked out to find Dimitri already waiting for us, he looked at us and nodded.

"Done?" he asked me.

"Yeah," I said wobbling to a chair.

"Give me a sec," I whispered. Lissa sat next to me, rubbing my back. God I felt... Violated.

A male nurse came out, looking from me to Dimitri, "Your results will be ready in three weeks." He walked back into the room, and we all started to walk out of the laboratory. I held unto Lissa for support as she walked me to her Audi.

"See you at the office," he said, standing there for a while. He pursed his lips, wanting to say something but not being able. Finally he just walked away.

"Coward," I muttered slamming the door.

3 weeks later

It was just me and Dimitri in the office, Tasha, Lissa, Adrian, Christian, and Eddie were outside waiting for us. I was a bit hesitant about having all of them here, but in the end I'd given in.

I tapped my foot, nervous, for some unknown reason. After a few minutes of waiting, Dimitri got done of my tapping, and put a firm hand on my thigh. I gasped at his touch, it was skin to skin, and I felt a heat go through my body. I swallowed and stopped tapping.

I groaned, tired of waiting. I heard him chuckle and turned to glare at him. He shrugged it off, "Are your feet hurting?" he asked surprising me.

"No thanks," I whispered looking away from him, remembering to a week ago.

Adrian had ordered me to go take some papers to Dimitri, I obliged, even if I had to walk across the office to get there. On my way, I met up with Tasha and she decided to walk with me.

As we walked, we deserved weird looks, and dirty ones too, especially from Celeste. I glared at them, and they backed down, as I remembered what Tasha had said; many of the women in the office looked down on her, and once she turned lesbian, she lost all her friends, especially her girl friends, her only friends being Dimitri, Adrian, and now me. I squeezed her arm, giving her a smile of reassurance.

I also remembered she said her perpetrator had been caught and sentenced. Which led me to my dream, which I ignored. She dropped off at Dimitri's office door, and kept walking.I knocked on the door lightly, and heard him tell me to come in.

Things were still kinda awkward, but we were both glad none of what had happened had leaked out into the office. That would just be fatal.

I walked in, kind of limping, my feet were killing me. I would really have to stop wearing these heals, they were killing me. I handed him the papers and he looked at me weirdly.

"Everything alright?" I nodded and he gave me a look.

"My feet are swollen and they hurt," I complained, finally. He chuckled standing up, and walking around the desk.

"Sit," he ordered. Confused, I followed orders. He bent down on his heels, and took off my heels as I raised an eyebrow, "What are you-Ahh."

He was giving me a massage, and boy was it amazing. He had me moaning from pleasure. My feet instantly felt better, with his wonderful hands running them. I felt like I was in heaven.

He kept chuckling, which led to a real laugh. Something I hand't heard in a while. After a few minutes he stopped, standing up,"Better."

I grinned up at him,"Much."

"Good," he said, standing up. I got up with his help, putting back on my heels, while he gave me a disapproving look, which I pointedly ignored. Smirking I started walking to the door. With the door slightly opened, I turned my head to look at him. I'm sure my eyes held amusement, and my smirk was teasing. I looked down at his bulging pants, pointing, and spoke.

"You might want to fix that."

The doctor interrupted my memory, and dragged me back to reality. I looked up expectantly, sighing, just wanting to get out of here.

And so the doctor began reading the results... I heard Dimitri curse, and my heart swelled.

I walked out of the office in a daze, I stumbled a bit, so I leaned against the wall, and slid down it. I tried blinking the tears away, but they fell. I was so confused and I'm sure it showed on my face. I rubbed and looked at my stomach.

In the distance I was aware of our friends wanting to know what had happened. I looked up from my stomach, not meeting anyone's eyes, but focusing on the far off distance, painting hanging on the wall.. My voice quivered as I spoke, and I felt all their gazes on me, especiallys Dimitri's.

I slightly banged my head against the wall, and I spoke.

"It's not his."

Oooooh, didn't expect that either huh? I was gonna wait this out but... I didn't think it was fair for Dimitri to get his hopes up too high, and this is an important piece of the story ;D this might be the last BIG surprise in a while... Maybe. Until you find out who is the real baby's father :D

By the way, Rose is 19, 20 once she has the baby. I might include some background on them on the next chapter ^.^