DPOV
"Sorry"- Buckcherry
Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:
This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!
"Hey... I just- I just wanted you to know I'm safe. i found a place to live, and I like it here. I want you to tell Lissa I'll send her e-mails, I just thought I should call you. I knew you wouldn't answer, either way... I miss you, and I miss the others. Do me a favor? In my room, in the closet there's a black box, there's a letter for you, and a CD. Those songs, the helped me out a lot, and they, just listen to them... I wanted you to know you don't have to act anymore, it's okay, we're not together anymore, and it doesn't matter, the baby isn't yours. I want you to know though, I never wanted you to hold my heart, I never wanted to love you as much as I do-"
The machine cut her off, although I was pretty sure she was done. This was 10th time I listened to her voice mail. The black box she was talking about was in front of me. After the first time I'd heard the voice mail I'd gone to Lissa's, I could see she felt much better, being able to hear her voice, and know she was safe. She wasn't the only one. We all were, even Tasha.
Taking in a deep breath, I opened the box. There were pictures, tons of them, all of them of us, during the three months that we were together. I felt the tears prickling my eyes, and let them fall.
There was CD with my name in bold letters, which I put in my stereo, and listened.
With trembling fingers I picked up the letter, it had a date, from the day she had disappeared. I opened it up, and read it.
Dear Dimitri,
I don't know where to start... I mean I could start from the very beginning, the first day I saw you, which seems so long ago, doesn't it? But that's not it. I've spent days, wondering when it was that you captured my heart in your hands. Our first kiss? First glance at each other? First time we made love? When was it Dimitri?
But now I know Dimitri, do you? It was the first time you held me in your arms in the campfire, the night we first kissed... You always had me. I have so much to say, but I can't bring myself to say it.
I loved you, and you did too, but it wasn't enough, it never was. I don't know where it was that everything went downhill, because it wasn't after Ivan's death, it was way before that.
I've tried so hard to take you out of my heart, out of my mind, but I can't. I fail every time.
I wish I knew what it was like for you.
The only reason I even thought of keeping the baby was because it was yours... I needed a piece of you, except now it isn't. And I don't know what to do, or say, or think... I think, it's good the baby isn't yours, that way I can finally get over you.
It's for the best, I know that now. As much as I love you, I don't think we're meant for eachother, we've both got too much baggage, and I want time on my own. I want to move on.
I don't want to love you anymore. I'm holding on to something that is not real, and will never be real.
It's too much for me, I want you, and I need you, but you're not good for me. You're hot one moment, and then you're cold. Hot N' Cold from Katy Perry, that's most definitely your song.
I'm not running away, I'm walking away. Walking away from you, from everyone, I'll be back one day, when I've done dealing with my problems.
God, it hurts so much, I don't want to love you, but I do, and it's my biggest pain.
Love,
Roza.
There's stains on the letter now, it's short, but it hurts me, every word of it, because I know she's right. I want to go after her, but I won't. She deserves better, I just wish I'd fought for her, I wish I had her with me right now.
I pushed her away, and now I'm paying for it. I miss her more than anything, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in this world. And god forgive me, but I think I may love her more than my mother.
I want to say many things to her, I want to say I'm sorry for hurting her, for acting the way I did, for thinking I had forever with her, for thinking she would come back to me.
I think it's best if we both move on.
Oh, Roza, I've never stopped loving you, I thought I had, but not anymore. I'm not over you. Never have.
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die.
Oh man, so much more to come, so many stuff going down! :D review(: