Sorry, i've been very tired and dealing with the stupid state exams -.- Just a filler...
"Over You"
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you
I'd decided, or we'd decided that we would go to L.A in a month, that way we had a lot of time to prepare. I felt unsettled knowing I'd have to go back, but I wanted to see them... Nothing could go wrong.
I was content being here, far away from anything. I was healing, all of my wounds were slowly healing. I didn't forget... i just forgave. I wasn't about to hold grudges, and make my life even more miserable. Fuck that, I had forgiven everyone that had done me wrong, it didn't matter anymore. It is what made me who I am today, after all.
My son was a big part of my healing process. He was such a little thing, but he gave me the support and the craving to live. I wanted to see him grow up, I wanted to meet all his girlfriends, I wanted to be there for him, and take care of him like no one else would be able to. And I most certainly didn't want him to see me as a crazy person, who was suffering all the time.
I'd said it once, and I'll say it again: I'm not a victim.
Not anymore.
"He's cute," Mia motioned to the guy checking us out... He was the cashier.
"Hmm?" I said looking up from a sleeping Ivan in my arms. She pointed to him. He was handsome, luckily he wasn't looking at us, but at the diapers, and baby wipies.
"Oh. Yeah." I frowned as I looked at him. He seemed oddly familiar...
"Jesse?" the word left my mouth before I could stop it. He looked up, and I was met with a pair of blue eyes.
"Rose?" he asked startled. I grinned. Jesse was my first boyfriend from high school, only he was a jerk at the time. But then at graduation he'd apologized. And of course I'd forgiven him.
"You work here?" I inquired, surprised. He laughed. He scratched the back of his head, a nervous habit of his.
"Yeah... My dad kicked me out, so i took a field trip. I didn't know you were here..."
"Only a few months now. I moved here with Mia," I said, pointing to Mia. He nodded and looked at Ivan. He raised an eyebrow, and looked up at me again. I smiled at him.
"Mine, " I whispered softly, running a hand through his dark hair. Jesse didn't say anything for a while, and continued checking us out.
"Congrats."
I nodded, not really able to say anything. As I was leaving with Mia, who carried all the bags, his hand stopped me. It was warm, and soft, the only indication that he wasn't much of a worker. I looked up to his blazing blue eyes. Unlike Christian's and Tasha's eyes, Jesse's were the color of the sky... Just like Ivan's. It was the Zeklos trait that both cousins had shared, before Ivan died.
"We should catch up," he said nervously,"as friends, of course." I laughed and nodded.
"Alright, how about tonight, at Alberta's diner. Say..."
"Eight?" I nodded, and he let go of my arm.
Mia and I walked out to the car. As we got in, Mia spoke.
"What about Dimitri?" It was a small whisper, that barely reached my ear. I bit my lip.
"Who?"
As I turned around, I saw her grinning, nodding her head in approval. Despite myself, I grinned too. I leaned my head against the cool window, taking comfort in the coolness.
I was better off with him, I had trusted him, and I had never ever seen it coming, not his painful betrayal, not him leaving me... Not him being the cause of all my problems.
And if I was going to move on with my life, and start off new, that meant he had to be forgotten. Now, he was only a scar, a painful reminder of what happens when you let your guard down completely.
"I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces."
I took pleasure in the lyrics of the song that come on. I didn't know who sung it, but I didn't care. The last part came on, and the song faded, and I felt better with myself.
I got over you