Reference (again) to The Empath.
I am guessing about McCoy's career in Starfleet, before he joined Kirk on the Enterprise, but I figured as a doctor, especially one who seems to have a bit of an authority problem, he would have had many assignments and transfers, probably more than Spock or Kirk. Maybe I could have looked that up somewhere, but I didn't want to.
o0o
Kirk studied Spock's face which in turn scrutinized his own.
When he'd woken up in sickbay after his brain surgery, he'd been alone. Well, except for Nurse Chapel who was there, making him answer questions, do Maths, and all the usual stuff.
But neither Spock nor McCoy had been with him, and although Chapel had assured him they were both well, it had disquieted him immensely. It could only mean something was really wrong.
When Spock had finally arrived at his bedside, he'd fired questions at his first officer. Although, the Vulcan had answered each one of them, Kirk still had the feeling Spock had been withholding information from him.
Spock had answered each questions elaborately enough, even telling him, that almost everything had been recorded by Uhura, and that he could watch for himself what had happened in the control room of that grinding mill in Prolia. He'd listened to how Bones had subjected himself to a brief, but undoubtedly very unsettling mind meld by Delihan again, only on his behalf. Spock told him how McCoy had befriended a Meriahni slave, and what he'd found out about the Meriahni society. He'd reported on how Bones had saved Kirk through the escape capsule, how Delihan had died before being able to give him any information about Tamulok's whereabouts, how McCoy's mental stability in the prison had deteriorated, and how very disturbing these pictures had been for the bridge crew. Kirk's own heart ached to no end at Spock's descriptions, and he suspected Spock also had been quite disturbed by the events.
When interrogated about his own performance during the crisis, Spock also recounted the events accurately, according to Kirk's estimation. He didn't leave out his own emotional outbreak (in Vulcan terms) in front of Pulliam, which had resulted in her refusing to treat him, or his decision to disregard direct orders by Starfleet Command, which fortunately had turned out to be fake orders.
Still, there had been a nagging feeling in Kirk that there was something that Spock had left unsaid, something that was troubling him. When Scotty had appeared in sickbay, and had told them about his encounter with Bones in the rec room, however, Kirk had pushed his concerns for his Vulcan friend away temporarily, in favour of focussing all of his attention on taking care of his other troubled friend.
Bones was hurting, he had known that. And although McCoy had a capacity of sitting out physical and emotional pain that exceeded that of anyone else he knew (any human at least), he had been determined to help. He owed him so much more than that.
Had he succeeded? Probably only minutely. At least Bones had slept for a couple of hours, but had taken the first opportunity to escape them. I need another plan.
However, Bones really did have amazing powers of self-healing. Maybe, he just needed a few hours to himself. He'd surely meet him again when he was back in sickbay. Until that happened, he could concentrate on Spock.
"How long before we reach Starbase 3, Spock?"
"Five hours," the Vulcan replied, without taking a look at the chronometer, or any other instrument for that matter. Kirk didn't doubt Spock knew exactly what time it was, and at what speed the Enterprise was going, but something else surprised him.
"And how many minutes, seconds?" he asked.
Spock raised an eyebrow. "It's now four hours, 59 minutes and 53 seconds, Captain."
"Ah. Well, then, …," he stretched out on the bed and yawned, "on Starbase 3, we need to give Velal over to the officials. And Pulliam. We should also request a replacement for them. Medical mustn't be understaffed for long."
"Captain, what will happen to Velal?"
The question surprised Jim, although he had brooded over the question for a bit himself. He liked Velal, as much as he could like a Romulan spy and enemy of the Federation. He was sure whatever Starfleet Command had planned for her, wasn't nice.
"Well, she infiltrated the crew of a Starfleet vessel, Spock. For years. She could have gathered sensitve information about technology, personnel, politics, anything really. The Romulans are our enemies, the peace we've had since the end of the Romulan War is fragile, to say the least. … They will question her, and lock her up. She will be separated from other inmates, the risk of her sharing sensitve information with the enemy, is too high," Kirk said, watching Spock who just nodded.
"Yes, Captain, that would be the logical conclusion."
"Why are you asking?"
"I was examining the concept of human moral principles."
"Spock, I don't like it either. But, she is a danger to the Federation, and we must protect ourselves."
"At the cost of disregarding an individual's right of physical and mental integrity."
"Just because she will be put in solitary confinement, doesn't mean she'll be hurt." … much, he finished the sentence in his mind. Of course, solitary confinement, even in a Federation prison, would be hurting anyone's psyche.
"If Romulans are biologically identical to Vulcans, and there is enough evidence that they are, being isolated over a longer period of time will lead to Velal's death within the next seven years," Spock said calmly, and Kirk wasn't quite sure to what exactly he was referring to. Pon Farr? In females?
There was still a lot he didn't know about Vulcans, he realised.
"Spock, doesn't a Vulcan proverb say: The good of the many outweighs the good of the one?"
Spock nodded in agreement, but Kirk already knew the Vulcan wasn't satisfied with that answer.
"When Dr. McCoy had been mind raped on Meriah Five, you believed that the Romulans might have acquired some sensitive information that could harm the Federation and its citizens, possibly hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people," Spock started to lecture.
"He did not give away any information, Spock. It didn't happen! Now, you know that!" he said angrily, though he had no idea, why he was so angry at Spock for simply pointing out a fact they both were aware of.
"Yes, Captain. But before I melded with him, we didn't know that. It could well have been that he had given the enemy a formula for a biological weapon that would kill all humans."
"What is your point, Spock?"
"Even though the whole Federation was at stake, you were willing to protect Doctor McCoy from another mind meld, forced upon him by a Vulcan healer."
Kirk swallowed. He hadn't at first. Not until McCoy had accused him of being a liar and had thrown up all over the captain's chair, nearly suffocating on his own vomit right then. His conscience was giving him a hard time about that. He should have been a better friend from the beginning.
"I don't regret that, Spock. It was the right thing to do," Kirk said.
"You risked quite a lot on behalf of a single individual," Spock concluded for him, and continued:
"Doctor McCoy himself pointed out that his personal rights, guaranteed by the United Federation of Planets, were being violated by same organization. The perversion is evident. However, I believe while you were willing to take a great risk to protect the doctor's rights, you aren't willing to take these risks on behalf of Velal."
Kirk nodded. He wouldn't, of course. Did that make him a hypocrite? "You are right. It's because Bones is my friend, Spock. Velal is not. It's … hard to explain. But, I would take the same risks for you."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "Although I am honoured, I cannot approve, Captain. However, I believe it is understandable, considering ... you are human."
Kirk observed Spock closely, beginning to understand. He was trying to sort out his priorities.
"Spock," he started, "this mission has gone awry. I've made some bad decisions, I overstepped my authorities, I endangered myself and my CMO quite uselessly. I didn't pay attention when the situation was becoming more and more dangerous. I managed to injure my head and fall into a coma in that prison and made it necessary for Bones to work with Delihan to save my life when I had promised him he wouldn't even have to talk with Delihan. And now we're further away from catching Tamulok than ever."
Kirk saw the Vulcan equivalent of a wince in Spock's face at that last statement, and made a note to investigate later, but for now, he went on:
"You managed to bring this disaster to an end that enables me to look at myself in the mirror without self-loathing. If Bones had died in that prison, I … I don't know, I would probably be banging my head against the walls of a padded cell right now."
Spock's eyebrow arched once more. "No, Captain. You'd be dead, or dying. And that would have been my fault."
"What are you talking about?" Kirk pressed.
"When we had beamed you up and Doctor Taylor had examined you, I knew you needed neurosurgery that no one currently aboard the Enterprise could provide. I also knew that you needed it within a limited amount of time."
Suddenly Kirk saw it crystal clear before him. Spock, had had to decide between the lives of his two best friends. His heart constricted in sympathy of Spock, but also because he was reminded of that horrible day on Minara. He still wanted to thank every known deity in the universe that he hadn't had to actually voice his decision then. Ironically, he had never brought it over himself to thank the only being in the universe that really deserved his gratitude for sparing him that decision: Bones.
Kirk forced himself to concentrate again.
"You're thinking you made an illogical decision, because you decided to stay in orbit of Meriah to try and save Bones, instead of leaving and getting me to a qualified surgeon on Starbase 3, without wasting any more time. Aren't you?"
"It was not certain that I would succeed in saving the doctor. Had I failed, you and Doctor McCoy would have died, and I had estimated the chances of that happening at 66.7 per cent. Even if I had managed to save the doctor, chances were only at 33.3 per cent that he would be able to save you in turn. The logical decision therefore would have been to return to Starbase 3, as long as we had the chance to arrive in time for your surgery."
Kirk suddenly realized how lucky they'd all been. The gratitude he felt towards his first officer increased another notch. "Spock, you did good! Success proved you right!"
"Indeed. I was … lucky."
"We all were," Kirk agreed.
"Captain, may I ask you a question of personal nature?"
"Anything."
"You don't have to answer if it is too personal."
"Spock! What is it?"
"On Minara Two, the Vians tried to force you to make a decision between saving my sanity and saving Doctor McCoy. Do you know what decision you would have made?"
Kirk drew in a surprised breath at Spock's question which was so near his own musings from just a few moments ago, if only considering the setting and not the subject.
After a short moment of hesitation, he nodded. It hadn't taken him long to make that decision on Minara, then. He'd actually already made it long before Bones had hypoed him into oblivion.
Spock waited, not inquring further, but watching the captain intently.
"I would have chosen to save Bones' life, Spock."
Spock nodded in acceptance, even understanding, which made Kirk continue quickly: "Spock, you and I, we have a lot in common. We both joined the Fleet early, we always strived towards a career on a starship. We're explorers, and we're absolutely comfortable in space. When we started wearing the uniform it was what we'd always wanted to do."
"I believe that is an accurate description."
"Of course it is. That's why we know, why we understand each other so well. We made similar experiences, we have the same motivations."
"It would seem so."
"Right. For Bones, it is different. He was a doctor before he joined Starfleet. He is and always will be a doctor first, and only after that, a member of Starfleet. He joined the service not because he was particularly fond of living in space, but because he found it more and more difficult to live on earth."
"So I've heard."
"Right. Spock, I'm trying to say, that I always feel compelled to protect him, because he, well, he is in a way, so vulnerable here, in space."
"Doctor McCoy has been in Starfleet for 13 years. He has served on more vessels and spacestations than either you or I have. He has mastered hundreds of critical situations and crises, and not only always managed to survive, but also, on at least 4 separate occasions, he was the sole reason for why his team or his crew survived that crisis. He is anything else than vulnerable, and does not need your protection more than anyone else on board the Enterprise. If anything, he needs it even less, since he has proven he is capable of watching out for himself and others."
Kirk smiled. "You are right. And don't ever tell him what I told you, because he won't talk to me for months after that. Truth is, however, Spock, my instinct always tells me to protect him. That's why I probably will always choose him over you. It doesn't have anything to do with whom I think is more valuable, or whom I "like" better, it's just … he's a healer, Spock, he must not be harmed."
"I see," Spock looked past Jim, at the shelves behind him, where some photographs of McCoy's daughter as a young girl of maybe 5 or 6, were arranged. "You are renowned for your unfailing instinct, Captain. As a Vulcan, however, I am positive when I say: I don't have an instinct."
Kirk sighed inwardly. He had tricked Bones into sleeping in his bed with Jim beside him, so he could also trick Spock into forgiving himself for making a human decision.
"Well, that is true. What I'm trying to say is this: You are my first officer. And as my first officer it is your duty, to anticipate my wishes and command the ship accordingly when I'm uncapable to do so. I wouldn't have left Bones to die in that prison, as I have tried to explain to you in the past ten minutes or so."
"I assumed as much," Spock said evenly, handing Jim the opportunity he'd waited for on a plate.
"And you assumed correctly. So, you simply did what was your duty as my first officer. Thank you, Spock."
"You are welcome, Captain," Spock said without missing a beat. Then, after a while, he added: "I believe we have an agreement on how to act, … where the doctor's life is concerned."
Kirk's eyes twinkled. "Yes, Spock. And I always assumed we had that agreement, although we never talked about it."
"Indeed. You seem to be right: We do understand each other well."