Notes: Like the previous two chapters, Lost In Translation precedes, overlaps, then succeeds Getting Caught. Thanks to my awesome beta, Bella. :).
Brittany S. Pierce is not stupid.
She just doesn't know how to make everyone else understand her.
The problem is, everyone else was born with a translator. They can take their thoughts and make them make sense to other people. Brittany can't. Her thoughts stay at that "makes perfect sense to me" level and never translate to "makes okay sense to just about everyone".
It's why her Spanish grade is so up-and-down. She can look at Santana and know she's beautiful, or her brain can shift gears and know she's bonita, but trying to make bonitamean "beautiful" doesn't work. They're two different words, from two different places in her brain, and they'll never be the same.
She knows it confuses everyone else ("Dolphins are just gay sharks" she says, because dolphins have fun and sharks just want to eat everything all the time), but she doesn't know how to explain to them, and even though Santana speaks Brittany almost as well as she speaks Spanish, even she doesn't know how to translate Brittany most of the time, and she pretends to be a bitch too often to stop and try for anyone else.
After a while, people start thinking she's sweet and nice but dumb, and anything she does is just "Brittany being Brittany" ("did you hear that Brittany and that retard Becky are friends?" people ask, and with Santana or Quinn it would be gossip, but with Brittany it's just another story, something they'll forget the next day instead of remembering every time they look at her), and she eventually realizes it's better armor than the Cheerios uniform ever could be. No one takes her seriously, but she doesn't need them to. She can do whatever she wants, and it's freeing.
She just wishes Santana had the same protection, or at least the courage to stop caring what everyone thinks.
[*]
If there's one thing that Brittany understands completely, it's Santana. Brittany knows that everyone else thinks Santana is a bad person because she makes fun of people and doesn't care who she hurts on the way to getting popular, but they don't see the San that helps Brittany ice down her calves after ballet, or smuggles in bird food so she can feed the sparrow in Brittany's locker.
The problem with understanding Santana so well is that Brittany knows Santana loves her and wants to be with her, but being with Brittany means Santana would be gay ("sleeping with girls makes you gay, Britt," she says, when she means, "being gay means people will talk") even though Brittany's pretty sure that's not how ti works, Santana is convinced of it, and starts slowly cutting her off. Sleeping tangled becomes spooning becomes barely sleeping in the same bed, and Brittany misses waking up with Santana pressed against her.
If it were just Brittany that wanted more, she would deal with it. She may not get school stuff - unless it's Science - but she knows that she and Santana are something special (she wants so badly to tell Santana that she's Brittany's lobster), and getting to kiss her isn't worth possibly losing her. The thing is, it's not just Brittany. Santana's been sneaking looks at her since middle school, and ever since they joined Cheerios, Brittany catches Santana looking at least once a week, and she's pretty sure there are other times she doesn't catch her.
At first, it's fun. In the locker room, she strips slower when she knows Santana's watching, and sometimes stops to fix her hair when she's only half-dressed. Santana's dark eyes and flushed face send a thrill through her, and Brittany stretches out her calves while Santana bites her lip and pretends not to stare. Brittany starts talking to Santana when they're in the showers, asking questions that she knows sound innocent, and Santana is adorable when she's stuttering and blushing as she tries to think of what Coach Sylvester could possibly make them do next.
Then it starts getting to Brittany as much as she can see it's getting to Santana. Santana isn't the only one flushing when Brittany pretends to struggle taking her top off, and even their fingers touching when Santana gives her a pencil in class makes heat race through Brittany's body. The boys she kisses on the side aren't enough, and she's actually in the middle of kissing one of them when the idea comes to her.
He doesn't like it when she breaks the kiss to text Santana, but she smiles, pockets the phone, and puts her hand on his thigh. He calms down immediately, and Brittany wishes Santana were as easy to manage as boys are.
[*]
Santana may not be a boy, but it's actually pretty easy to talk her into kissing Brittany for the first time. She dances along the line between acting too much like the dumb girl people think she is but Santana knows she isn't, and being her normal self who just doesn't understand things sometimes, and Santana falls for it.
Santana's thigh is warm and smooth under Brittany's hands, and they both freeze when their lips meet. Santana makes a small noise into Brittany's mouth, and her hands settle on Brittany's shoulders. Brittany leans her back against the bed, one hand coming up to rest on the side of Santana's head, her thigh slipping between Santana's.
They stay like that, lips pressed together, skin touching in new ways, for a while, when Brittany realizes Santana is shaking. She wants to break the kiss and pull away to look at Santana's face, so she can know that this is just as important to Santana as it is to her, but Santana hasn't been able to meet her eyes for days, and Brittany knows she wouldn't be able to do it now. Instead, she uses her teeth on Santana's lip, and Santana tenses, clutching at her shoulders.
Brittany's about to pull away, worried she's pushed Santana too far, when Santana's mouth opens under hers, and their tongues are sliding together. It's so hard to keep quiet, but she doesn't dare let Santana remember that this is obviously not just her teaching Brittany to kiss, and she explores Santana's mouth in silence.
Santana's lips are soft and she tastes sogood, and Brittany knows she'll want to do this again when they're done. Santana will pretend it never happened, and Brittany will go along with it, but she knows that once she talks Santana into doing something once, it's easier to talk her into it again.
A door slams downstairs, and they jolt apart. Their eyes meet for a half-second, and Brittany knows everything Santana's not saying (fuck, my abuela's back, Santana's eyes say, not, fuck, we shouldn't have done this) and she skips after Santana to help with the groceries, grinning wide.
[*]
Brittany is right, and it's easy to get Santana to kiss her again.
She doesn't even ask this time, just gets into bed with her and kisses her. Every time after is different than the first. Santana is on top, even if she's on the bottom when Brittany starts it (it feels good, but it would feel better if Santana weren't just on top because she needs to feel like she's in control), and she doesn't make little noises into Brittany's mouth as much, except when Brittany bites her lip.
Santana has started grinding into her a little when they're making out, and Brittany doesn't even think when she reaches a hand up to Santana's chest. Santana moans against her lips, and Brittany's heart beats faster, but then Santana sits up and looks down at her, confused but turned on, and for the first time, Brittany doesn't understand her at all.
Santana's reactions are the same as the boys Brittany kisses, only better, and she knows they want her, so why is Santana acting like Brittany did something weird? Santana doesn't say no to anyone who's at least as popular as she is, and Brittany knows Santana wouldn't want anyone to know that they're making out, but they're in Brittany's room and no one has to know.
When Santana leans back down and kisses her again, Brittany thinks it's just some weird thought Santana had all of a sudden, but then she jerks back up, and swings her body around so she's sitting on the edge of Brittany's bed.
Brittany doesn't understand why Santana's making such a big deal of this, but she knows one good way to make Santana relax, and she sits up, wrapping herself around Santana. When her best friend settles back against her, Brittany moves her hands up and into the back of Santana's Cheerios uniform, pushing her fingers into the knots in Santana's back.
It's a little easier between them now, but it's still not back to how they normally are, and Brittany fidgets. She hates it when anyone's mad at her, especiallySantana, and when a soft apology doesn't get a response out of Santana, she kisses the side of Santana's neck.
It's the wrong thing to do, and Santana jerks away. Brittany watches her grab her purse and keys, every step sinking Brittany's heart down toward the floor.
("I'm going to Puckerman's," she says, but Brittany knows she means, "I love you and I hate it.")
[*]
"C'mon, it would be hot."
Puck's been begging them to make out for the past half an hour, and Brittany would have gotten up to be closer to Santana, where Puck wouldn't ask her anything like that, but he's been bringing both her and Quinn drinks, and she's comfortable watching Santana do a keg stand with Matt.
Quinn gives him a look that anyone else would think is mad (but Brittany knows Quinn almost thinks it's funny), and rolls her eyes, "no, Puckerman."
"Hey, I'm a gentleman, and gentlemen prefer blondes," Puck tries again, wrapping his arm around Brittany's shoulders, "and that means blonde-on-blonde action."
Brittany giggles, Puck smirks, and Quinn rolls her eyes again before getting up to sit next to Finn, who is watching the kegstand. Brittany watches her stiffly kiss him and settle under his huge arm, before her eyes turn to Santana.
"You know, you and Santana making out would be pretty hot," Puck suggests next, and Brittany almost kisses him, because he's just given her the best excuse she can think of to kiss Santana more places than just their bedrooms.
"Maybe next time," she tells him, cuddling into his warm body.
[*]
Brittany's only a little drunk by the time Puck reminds her that she promised him she would kiss Santana, but Santana has been drinking since they got there, and Brittany thinks that it's now or never.
She smiles at Puck and climbs into Santana's lap. Santana is drunk enough to just wrap an arm around Brittany's waist, and Brittany kind of wants to just stay like this. It's warm, and she's comfortable, and Santana smells like herself and vodka - but Puck is giving her the thumbs up, and she might not get a chance to do this again.
Santana's entire body stiffens when Brittany kisses her, and Brittany's a little worried about what she's going to do. Then Puck yells something at them, and Brittany pulls back. Santana's eyes move to the side, but Brittany's are on her neck, and she thinks she may as well push a little, because even though Santana knows she's not actually dumb, everyone knows Brittany is clingy when she's drunk, and she can blame it on that if Santana freaks out.
The skin on Santana's neck tastes different than her lips, and Brittany starts kissing up and down it, Santana sighing and burying her fingers in Brittany's hair. When she looks up, Quinn is watching them, and Brittany sees her almost drop her drink.
Brittany moves to the other side of Santana's neck, pressing their bodies together, and Quinn is still watching. Brittany's heart starts beating faster, and she pushes her hand up Santana's shirt, Quinn's eyes widening. It's not the first time Quinn has had that look on her face, but it's the first time Brittany understands it (I should look away, but I can't).
Quinn's head turns, and she turns back into the Quinn everyone else knows, asking Puck, "where's Finn?"
Brittany looks at Puck and knows that he was about to say something that would remind Santana that there are other people in the room. Quinn rescued them from him, and Brittany smiles a little before pulling back and pressing her lips hard against Santana's. One of Santana's hands moves to Brittany's ass, and Brittany forgets all about Quinn.
[*]
People thinking she's drunk is almost as good as people thinking she's dumb, and when they're put together, Brittany finds out she can get away with just about anything. If they've both had enough to drink, she can even ask Santana to kiss her, and Santana will finish her drink, make sure the boys are watching, and they'll spend the rest of the party making out on Matt's uncle's couch.
Puck thinks it's his birthday and Christmas - Hanukkah, actually, Britt reminds herself - all put together. He cheers them on the loudest, tells them to do more, and then starts asking if he can join in. Santana will never be drunk enough to have a threesome in someone's living room, but every time Puck suggests it, Brittany can see her taking it a little more seriously, and she hates it.
It's not that she doesn't like Puck, but Brittany knows if she can keep finding ways to push Santana, she can get her naked without him. Brittany is pretty sure Santana will have to be drunk the first time, and that makes her sad enough, but she really, really doesn't want Puck to be there too. Not the first time.
When Brittany thinks that Santana might say yes sometime soon, she starts getting Puck realy drunk. She dares him to drinking contests, gets him to make her drinks she doesn't like and then gets him to drink them, and finds way to get him to do shots with Matt and Mike. She's had sex with enough drunk boys to know that they tend to fall asleep in the middle, and she wants him to fall asleep as soon as possible after Santana says yes.
One night Santana finally agrees, and Brittany follows her up, sighing to herself. It would be so much easier if Santana would just stop caring what people think and they could have sex all the time without any alcohol or boys, but this is the way Santana works.
When Puck goes to the bathroom, Brittany really wants to lock the door so he can't follow them when he's done, but she knows Santana would notice, so she just pulls them both onto the bed and gets a giggly Santana to kiss her.
Ever since they started making out at Matt's parties, Santana's kisses have been less relaxed and she's even started touching Brittany sometimes. It's been driving her crazy, having Santana's handson her skin but not between her legs, and Brittany pulls Santana close, rubbing circles into the hollow of Santana's hip.
Santana moans and sits up a little, looking down at her and whispering, "Puckerman will go crazy if he walks in on us getting our mack on."
Brittany doesn't think Santana knows she said it out loud, but she doesn't care, because that's as close to Santana actually giving her permission as she's going to get, and she sits up to take Santana's shirt off.
Her hands are shaking when she gets to Santana's bra, and Santana laughs, low and deep, before pulling Brittany up to kiss her. Brittany pulls off her own shirt, and when her skin presses up against Santana's, she can't help it - she moans into Santana's mouth.
She's expecting Santana to freak out as soon as she makes the noise, but Santana kisses her harder and drags her nails up the back of Brittany's neck, fisting her hand in Brittany's hair. Brittany whimpers, Santana grinds her hips down into Brittany's, and Brittany almost rips Santana's bra getting off.
There's a noise at the door, and Brittany looks over, her heard sinking.
It's Quinn instead of Puck, and Brittany stares for a second. Santana doesn't seem to notice Quinn, and Brittany runs her hands up her best friend's back to keep her distracted, wishing Quinn would just close the door and walk away before Santana looks over.
Quinn watches them for a few seconds before she takes a deep breath and reaches in to lock the door before she shuts it. Brittany mouths 'thank you' just before it closes, and pulls Santana down to kiss her.
[*]
Santana's in the shower and Brittany's almost asleep in her bed when Santana's phone chirps. Brittany doesn't want to get up, but it's Puck's textone, and she knows if he's asking her to come over, Santana will leave, so she looks in Santana's purse for her phone, flipping it open.
Not going 2 party 2mrw nite, Puck's text reads, and Brittany bites her lip. She knows that without Puck there, Santana won't want to go, and so she deletes the text. If Puck isn't there, maybe she can get Santana to herself without worrying about Puck being sober enough to be awake while they're having sex.
She puts Santana's phone back into her purse, and pretends not to know what Santana's talking about when she asks if Puck texted her while she was in the shower.
[*]
Brittany starts working on Santana before they even get to the party.
She picks out the shirt that Puck said you can "see down to her underwear" when you look down it, grabs Santana's ipod to play Rihanna's S&M when they're in the car, and Santana's flushed and looking at her every couple seconds by the time they get there.
Santana always drinks more when Brittany's pouring, but when she sees the tequila on Matt's uncle's kitchen table, Brittany doesn't think she'll need to work very hard to get Santana drunk.
When she gets two drinks poured for her and Santana, she turns around to see Santana look up from checking her out, and Brittany gives Santana one, smiling. Tonight is going to be fun, she can already tell.
They do body shots ("what else would you do with tequila?" Santana asks, her eyes locked to Brittany's, and she doesn't think anyone needs her to translate that one), and Brittany's skin is on fire where Santana's tongue licks lines down her neck, shoulders, tomach, and swirls in the hollow of her throat.
When some football player says Santana should do a shot out of Brittany's cleavage, Santana's eyes flash, and Brittany sees a little of the San she could have if Santana stopped caring about what everyone thinks. Santana takes longer licking the salt off of Brittany's chest than she needs to, and when she leans up to suck the lime out from Brittany's lips, Brittany doesn't let her pull away.
They're kissing up against the kitchen counter, and the lime is stopping her from opening her mouth for Santana, but she keeps it between them for now. She knows if they start making out now, she'll pull Santana on top of her, and Santana will either freak out or they'll have sex on the counter and - Santana's hands are on her ass, and Brittany turns her head to spit out the lime, because she needs Santana right now.
Somehow they make it up to the upstairs bedroom, and Santnaa's confused look when Puck isn't there only lasts until Brittany pushes her onto Matt's bed and climbs on top of her. Santana smirks and flips them over, and Brittany grins. Their clothes come off faster than ever, and when they wake up the next morning, Santana cuddles into her side instead of kicking Puckerman out and getting dressed so they can leave.
[*]
The next party they go to, Karofsky is there, and Brittany asks Santana if they can leave. She wants Santana, she does, but Karofsky brings out all the ugly parts of her and Brittany doesn't want to watch Santana pick Karofsky apart and get angry drunk.
Santana shrugs at the question and grabs a bottle of vodka on their way out. They drive back to Santana's house and Santana puts Real Housewives on, and they sit on her bed, watching it and drinking the vodka.
When they open the bottle, Brittany starts playing with Santana's fingers. A quarter of the way through the bottle and she pulls Santana into her side, wrapping her arm around Santana's waist. Halfway and Brittany lays them down, pulling Santana closer to her. When they're almost finished, Brittany pulls up the bottom of Santana's shirt and starts running her fingers across the bottom of Santana's ribcage.
Every time Brittany moves them, Santana hums a little and adjusts herself into her best friend, never taking her eyes off the television. It's not until Brittany finishes off the bottle and kisses her that Santana seems to realize what's going on, but Brittany doesn't let her think about it, rolling on top of her and grinding her hips down.
Santana gasps into her mouth and wraps her legs around Brittany's hips, and Brittany smiles, knowing she's got her for the night.
[*]
After the third or fourth time they do it outside of parties, it starts bothering Brittan that they only ever have sex when Santana is drunk. There's no way Santana doesn't know she wants her by now, so why does it take her an entire bottle of alcohol to let Brittany touch her?
Brittany knows she can't just ask about it, and there really isn't anyone for her to talk about this with, but by the time she's seriously frustrated by the situation, Santana decides to mess up whatever Quinn and Puck have going ("Puck's mine, Santana says, but Brittany hears, "if I don't act like I want Puck, people will ask why"). Brittany remembers Quinn covering for them with Puck a while ago, and all the times she's seen Quinn checking her out since, and she thinks the last thing Quinn needs is someone else stepping into her life. Brittany loves Santana, but she knows that the San she's in love with and the Santana that rips people apart are two different people, and the Santana that Quinn gets is the one who smirks when she destroys people lives.
"San, leave it," she asks softly, sitting on the edge of Santana's bed and watching her text Quinn.
"The last thing I need is some closet case getting all up ons my man, Britt-Britt," Santana says, finishing the text and starting another.
"You haven't been with Puck in weeks, San," Brittany tries, watching Santana tense up.
"Yeah, well, maybe I should fix that, so he remembers whose property he is," Santana says under her breath.
Brittany bites her lip hard and stares down at the floor. If Santana just has sex with Puck to make him her property, then what does that make them having sex? Brittany has been Santana's since they were five and Santana proposed to her, but she doesn't want to be Santana's like Puck is.
"Britt," Santana sits next to her, their thighs touching. "It's not like that."
Brittany turns away, biting down harder on her lip and crossing her arms. Santana reaches over to turn her head back, and their eyes meet for half a second (I love you, I just can't do this,her eyes say, and Brittany can't help sniffling a little).
She lets Santana kiss her, and this time Santana is the one to tug at her until they're curled up together on Brittany's bed, kissing slowly because Santana can't say what she means out loud (You'll never be Puck to me,her hands moving through Brittany's hair tell her) and Brittany won't force her.
[*]
Santana doesn't listen, not that Brittany thought she would, and Quinn starts coming over to Santana's so she can get Spanish help ("Britt wants you to come study with us," Santana texts, but all three of them know Santana just wants Quinn away from Puck). Quinn seems as happy as Quinn gets to be there with them instead of with Finn or Puck, so Brittany wouldn't care much, except that Quinn coming over gives Brittany and Santana less time for sweet lady kisses.
Every time Quinn rings Santana's doorbell, Brittany is close to getting Santana's clothes off, and every time, Brittany has to cross her legs and keep Santana from being too mean to Quinn, instead of having sex with her best friend.
It's starting to get really frustrating - until Brittany notices the look on Quinn's face when she comes over.
Brittany doesn't understand it. Not at first. She knows that Santana is softer and more relaxed after they've been kissing, but that doesn't explain why Quinn flushes and looks away every time Santana says something in Spanish that Quinn doesn't understand, or why she bites her lip when Brittany stretches her hands up over her head and Quinn sees a hickey Santana left.
Then she remembers Quinn when she saw them in Puck's bedroom. It's the same look, just without alcohol, and Brittany understands.
She just doesn't know what to do now.
[*]
It turns out that she doesn't have to do anything at all, because Quinn snaps on Santana during Cheerios practice ("if you want to stay on my squad, you're going to start acting like you care," Quinn yells, but Brittany knows she's thinking, why you? Why do you have someone that loves you and I don't?), Brittany uses the one surefire way she knows how to make Santana feel better, and Quinn walks in on them.
Brittany knows Santana forgot Quinn was supposed to come study with them, but Brittany didn't. She thought she locked the door, but she forgets even more things than usual when Santana is burning under her skin, and now Santana is straddling her hips and Quinn is staring, and Brittany really just doesn't understand.
Santana and Quinn have been pretending they don't want this since middle school, but now Santana's naked in her arms and Quinn is bright red and breathing hard, and Brittany knows that they would both freak out if Quinn joined in, so she just tells Quinn that she can watch.
Santana acts shocked, but it only takes her a few seconds to move so she can slip her fingers inside Brittany, and Brittany looks up to meet Santana's eyes. Santana's scared, but her fingers are gentle, and Brittany lets out a moan, rocking up to kiss Santana once before looking back to Quinn.
Quinn is just as scared as Santana, but Brittany can't think about that, not when Santana's thumb is rubbing and her other hand is fisted in Brittany's hair, and oh -
Her eyes close, then open to catch Quinn's again. She doesn't have to look at Santana to know what's going through her mind (this could wreck us, B,her body's shaking says, and Brittany starts stroking Santana's side to calm her down), but Quinn isn't saying anything.
Brittany knows she could rescue them both by saying something "Brittanyish", but she's not playing dumb this time. These are her two best friends, and this is too important for her to say something about ducks that doesn't mean anything just to make them relax.
When Quinn picks up her books and sits next to Santana's bed instead of freaking out, Brittany is proud of her. She gets Santana to roll off her and she curls up on her side facing Quinn. Santana disappears into the shower behind her, but Brittany's not worried about her. She'll have plenty of time to handle Santana. She doesn't know Quinn like she knows Santana, but she knows that Santana will do anything she asks; with Quinn, you have to move fast.
Santana's bathroom door closes behind her, and Brittany leans down to grab Quinn. She means to just pull her into bed next to her, but she ends up kissing her, and when Quinn leans into the kiss, she knows she did the right thing. From there, it's easy to get Quinn curled up with her, and Quinn relaxes when Brittany starts reading the Spanish book and playing with her hair.
It's even easier to get Santana into bed with them, and Brittany wants to soak up the warmth of her friends like a cat in the sun, but she knows they're not ready for that yet, so she keeps reading Spanish to Quinn, and they stay like that until Quinn has to go.
The door closes behind Quinn, and Brittany turns to face Santana. She knows better than to try to talk about this, because Santana is so bad at talking about anything that means something, so she kisses her instead. For once, it's Santana who pulls her closer, and Brittany cuddles in, smiling into the kiss.
They lay in bed kissing until they fall asleep, and Brittany knows that even though Santana and Quinn will lie to themselves tomorrow, tonight they all understand each other, and there aren't words in any language she knows for how happy that makes her.