Setting: Aboard the Odyssey: Hallway, Infirmary.
Tuesday 1800 hours ship's time
Colonel Marks had given them both strict orders to go straight to the infirmary while he updated General Landry on the incident, with a comment that he would inform the new Doc of their situation. Jack had visibly flinched at this but followed Sam quietly. Sam was finding herself getting more and more uncomfortable. Everything seemed a bit off, the color seemed faded, the hallways seemed smaller and Sam unconsciously started ducking through every doorway.
"Carter! What are you doing?" Jack asked after watching her for several minutes.
"Sir?" Sam twirled around to face him only to stumble over her now larger feet, "Whoa!"
Jack reached up to grab her shoulders to steady her. "Easy there. What's wrong with you?"
"I – I don't know. Nothing – Everything. It's all so odd," she stammered, visibly shaken.
"Carter, you'll get used to it. I went through the same thing when Teal'c and I switched bodies. You remember that, don't you? I know I was kinda freaking out back there, but I've been thinking about it and now that I see your reaction it makes sense. Be glad you don't have to learn Kel-no-ream like I did, and you know that I am not gonna run up your credit card like Machello did to Daniel," Jack added with a smirk.
Sam chuckled at this. She was starting to feel better as they were standing still. "Well, you won't have to worry about me wanting to cut your hair off, because I like it," she said as she shyly ran her hand through the silver spiky mess.
Shocked by her own boldness, Sam executed a careful about-face and proceeded to the infirmary, leaving Jack standing with his mouth hanging open. It took a passing Airman's polite, "Ma'am," to spur him on. With a quick glare at the innocent Airman's back, Jack jogged to catch up with Sam at the entrance to the infirmary.
Remembering Marks' parting shot "to just wait until you meet our new exchange Doc," Jack and Sam steeled themselves with a brief shared glance, and then stepped into the infirmary together. They were greeted immediately by a short dark-haired woman who moved with a strange combination of fluttering gestures and graceful calm.
"Welcome, come in, come in, please do come in. Yes, yes, yes, your Colonel Marks told me you were coming to see me. Yes, yes, yes, very nice young man, your Colonel Marks. So, Dahlings, the Dear Colonel tell me that there has been some sort of accident. Yes, yes, yes, the same one that has given that dreadful electrical burn to our poor Dear Major Grant. Yes, yes, yes, the poor Dear will be just fine here with me, Dahlings, just fine." She gestured to a curtained area to her right, and then indicated a larger area to her left, "Please, do come over here and each sit on a gurney. Yes, yes, yes, right over here, Dahlings. Yes, yes, yes, your Dear Colonel said that I was to check you out. Yes, yes, yes."
Sam stifled a chuckle and avoided looking at Jack, because she knew that in short order the two of them would be giggling like school kids at the Doctor. Jack coughed pointedly and, keeping in mind that he was now a few inches shorter than he had been this morning, hopped onto the gurney. Sam took his lead and sat on the other one, while the strange little doctor tugged the privacy curtain around both beds.
"Yes, yes, yes, my Dahlings, let's get started, shall we? Oh, how rude of me, I have not introduced myself yet, have I?" she looked at them expectantly until Sam and Jack shook their heads no. "My name is Dr. Eileen Roshjid, but please, Dahlings, you simply must call me Dr. Eileen. You see, it gets ever so tiring to hear you Americans mispronouncing such a beautiful Indian name."
She then proceeded to give them a brief yet thorough examination, asking each of them pertinent questions along the way. "Yes, yes, yes, now that we have the essentials out of the way to appease your Dear Colonel, now let us take a moment to ensure that all of your matter was put back into the right places. Yes, yes, yes, my Dahling General, please do step over here and take a look at your body. A mirror is so two-dimensional, whereas now you have the real thing right in front of you. Have you ever really seen your face like this?"
Jack snickered, while Sam found herself blushing with all the attention directed at her, "Yeah, a time or two."
"Yes, yes, yes, well even if that is the case, you do have the most amazing bone structure, Dahling. You must come from some very good genes, Dear General," Doctor Eileen lightly traced Sam's cheekbones with a fingertip, causing Sam to duck her head at their scrutiny.
"Grandma O'Neill once told me, we can trace the family tree back to a royal offshoot of some sort or another," Jack informed them.
Sam glanced up at him sharply.
"What?!?" Jack asked her.
"You have royal roots?"
"Guess I never told you I was born with a silver foot in my mouth, huh, Carter?" Jack said with a grin.
"Uh, Sir, you're mixing your metaphors," Sam said.
"Well, why not? We're mixed up, why can't I mix a few metaphors?"
"Yes, yes, yes, Dahlings, you are switched, but not permanently. Can not our Dear Colonel here, fix the machines and reverse the switching process, yes? Well, then, let us not abuse the poor metaphors anymore, yes, Dahlings? And speaking of reversing, how about we stop embarrassing our Dear Colonel here, yes?" Doctor Eileen had them change places. Sam was finding it harder and harder to not outright laugh at this very eccentric doctor.
"Yes, yes, yes, Dahling Colonel, I'm sure that you'll tell me that you've been in this situation before, too, yes?" asked Dr. Eileen.
"Yes, I've been in a room with over a dozen different versions of me, if you really want to know," Sam replied.
Jack rolled his eyes, while the doctor was suitably awed, "Yes, yes, yes, but did they all have your fine figure? Just how long are those legs of yours?"
"Don't forget how incredibly brilliant she is. She is the total package, after all," Jack said with a wink at Sam.
Sam was a little shocked by this but kept the banter up, "Oh, yeah, well he's pretty smart too, whether he likes anyone to know it or not. He'd have to be or they wouldn't have given him that second star and made him the Head of Homeworld Security. And he's a great leader, too. I would follow you into battle any day, General, without question," Sam declared.
"Oh, yeah! Well I think she's -," Jack interrupted himself and asked incredulously, "you think I'm smart?"
"Yes and you can be quite funny, too."
"Sweet!" was Jack's smug reply.
"Yes, yes, yes, my Dahlings, I am sorry, I have quite enjoyed this, but I hear your dear Colonel Marks checking with my nurse on the poor Dear Major's condition. He will be here shortly and we simply must have some propriety about us, yes?"
Colonel Marks coughed politely just outside the privacy curtain, "Doctor Rosh- Doctor Eileen, if you've finished I need to speak with the General and Colonel for a moment, please"
"Yes, yes, yes, Dahling Colonel, only just now have we finished," answered Doctor Eileen as she whipped aside the curtain, "You send me the best looking people to examine, My Dear Dahling Colonel. They are both in fabulous health, if you overlook the fact that they are in each others' bodies, don't you agree, Dahling?" the doctor said as she slid beside Marks to peer intently at Jack and Sam. She had tried to put her hand through his arm, but he was standing stiffly at attention and would not accommodate her, so she just leaned into him.
"Erm…Yes, Doctor…erm, could you give us a minute, please?" asked the put upon Colonel.
Noting that Sam seemed to be enjoying the display that the pair were putting on as much as he was, Jack interjected, "Now, now, now, Dear Colonel, there is no need to rude to the lovely Doctor here. She never even threatened us with needles." Sam grinned at his antics. "Obviously you weren't ordered to confine us as you brought no security with you. So we either abort our missions or we soldier on, am I right?"
"Yes, Sir. General Landry said that it was up to you, General, if things were to go on. He asked me to remind you that the Asgard are waiting and that the Alpha Site is still having its Iris problem."
Jack thought a moment, 'Well, this is one way for us to get closer. Things can't get any wonkier, can they?' Jack took Sam aside, "What do you think? I know you were feeling pretty uneasy earlier. How are you doing now? Want to complete our missions, together, Sam?" When he said her name, Sam looked into Jack's eyes and saw that was indeed leaving the decision to her. It was an important turn of events, making a decision together.
"Yes, Jack, I think we can make this work, together."
A/N: I modeled this Doc after E from "The Incredibles" tell me what you think, please.