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Paramour

(Inception)

Sara knocked on the door waiting for an answer nervously straightening out her shirt. She'd taken a shower washing away all of the things she had been feeling and thinking about. As she waited as she realised that she needed to distance herself from the inner conflicts she had been experiencing.

Rueben answered the door with a tired expression, the glasses he was wearing casted a dark shadow over his hazel eyes. He gave her a quick smile moving out of the way letting him step past her into the room.

"Sorry...it's a bit of a mess I wasn't expecting you until later..." He explained indicating to the papers and books that seemed to be scattered about what looked like an office.

"I don't mind...and sorry for dropping by unannounced, and early, it's just I needed to get out..." Sara shrugged not making eye contact with him as she attempted to figure out where to sit.

"I understand..." Rueben indicated to the sofa in the corner. "Sit down; I'll get you a drink..."

"Thank you..." Sara awkwardly made her way to the seating she had been offered thinking through all of the things that she wanted to talk to Rueben about.

He returned with a bottle of whiskey and two tumblers in his hand holding them up for her to see with a devilish grin playing on his lips. A part of her was reminding her that it would be a bad idea to start drinking so early while the rest of her didn't seem to care- she'd come here to escape, to be someone else- what did it matter?

"I am interrupting anything?" Sara asked glancing nervously around the room again wondering what it was she had walked into.

"No, no...I was just starting at a blank page refusing to admit that I have writers block." Rueben flashed her one of his charming smiles as he poured her a generous amount of whiskey.

"Ah, you're working on your book, can I read it?" Sara asked taking the drink from him.

"Maybe a bit later...for now...why don't we talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?" He responded casually leaning back in his seat studying her.

"I don't want to talk about it..." Sara shrugged, her eyes focused on the glass in her hand as a mouthful of fiery liquid slid down her throat.

"Are you sure?" He questioned her as if she were an upset child.

"No..." Sara swallowed properly meeting his eye for the first time. She pulled out the packet of cigarettes in her pocket. "You mind?"

"No- Go ahead..." He watched her as she placed the cigarette between her lips a frustrated frown on her face as she searched for a lighter with little luck.

"Here..." Rueben held out a light for her. With the same frown Sara leant forwards lighting her cigarette leaning back sharply inhaling to take her first drag to calm her agitated nerves. He took a sip from his drink remaining silent waiting for her to begin talking.

"Why are relationships so hard?" Sara eventually asked blowing a puff of smoke out into the direction of the room.

"...Because it's a way to assess if someone's worth it. If you stick at it and work through your problems and want to hang around for the good parts then you know..." He hypothesised.

"What if the person's worth it but you can't do it anymore?" Another drag "What if you're tired?"

"Is it Grissom?" Rueben asked recalling the name from the conversation they'd had the previous day. There was a pause as Sara surveyed him her expression almost unreadable.

"Yes" She eventually replied.

"What's he like?" There appeared to be genuine interest in his voice as he turned his body fully to face her.

"He's amazing...he's intelligent, witty...he's everything I've ever wanted in a man..." Sara shrugged lifting her cigarette to her lips as she attempted to remind herself that she was in love with Grissom that she could see past all of his faults.

"But..." He sensed there was more.

"But..." With a sigh she stubbed out her cigarette out in the ash tray on the small table in front of them. "There are just so many problems...and I'm tired...And I regret pushing him in a relationship that he wasn't ready for...that he didn't fully want."

"If he didn't want to be with you he wouldn't be here..." Rueben attempted to assure her but the more he tried to sooth her mood the worse he seemed to be making it.

"You don't know him..." Sara finished off the whiskey in her tumbler pouring herself more before pulling another cigarette out of the almost full packet resting on the armrest beside her.

"Okay...What makes you think he doesn't want to be with you?" The question seemed to resound in Sara's mind as she thought of an appropriate answer.

"He...doesn't... let me in...I feel as if I'm constantly trying to prove to him that I'm worthy of his affection." She sighed glancing at the man beside her before quickly turning away. His hazel eyes now without the shadow of his glasses were focused on her. "We never talk about things...our problems...and I feel like rather than making each other happy...we're just slowly pushing each other away."

"If he were here what would you want to tell him?" He watched as Sara pretended she were with Grissom as opposed to him hoping that he was doing something small to help improve her mood.

"I'd tell him that I love him...and that's all that counts...all of the other things don't matter because...if we just...gave ourselves a chance...then maybe we could be happy." She took a deep breath, a drag from her cigarette.

"If he were here what would you ask him?" Rueben sensed that there were doubts that Sara couldn't ignore when it came to her relationship.

"Did I push too hard? Did I force him into a relationship that he didn't want? Is he here because he feels like he can't leave? Am I not enough?" She stopped her turning to look at him, her dark eyes glazed over with defeat.

"You are..." He muttered to her inching closer watching her reaction. Sara simply just watched him attempting to un-puzzle what he meant. "And you're worth it Sara..."

She raised an eye brow at him with a small smile realising that he was being paid to say things such as this- she was paying him to say things like this.

"Hey..." Rueben took her hand in his own "You're smart, you're witty...and I'm not sure if Grissom's noticed this but you're gorgeous...You're more than worth it"

"You barely know me..." She gave a small laugh wondering what he would think if he really knew her- all of the things in her past, her temper, her bouts of depression.

"Then tell me..." He handed her, her drink and leant back preparing himself to hear the horror stories that seemed to shadow her every action.

"Are you sure?" She watched him challengingly taking a sip of her whiskey.

"I'm sure..." Rueben beamed at her.

"Where do you want me to start?" She asked taking a drag of the cigarette in her hand before giving up on it and leaving it to burn out in the ash tray.

"Well the beginning is usually a good place...tell me about growing up..." He offered her a starting point.

"Ah..." Sara began picking at the frayed edges of her jeans. "I'm an only child; I was born in Tamales Bay. My birthday is September 16th. My mother was schizophrenic...my father had a hard time coping with it...he began drinking...He was a violent drunk...to say the least." She shrugged taking a mouthful of whiskey. "One night my mother took a butcher knife and stabbed him to death. I was taken into foster care...where I spent five miserable years. At 16 I graduated high school and went to Boston to go to Harvard. My scholarship didn't cover all of the costs so I worked at Chuck-E-Cheese. Went to Berkeley for grad school- I worked at the corners office while studying...And after a few years I got offered a job here and Vegas so I moved."

Without a word Rueben closed the space between them titling Sara's chin up so they were eye to eye before he placed his lips on hers. The kiss was as slow as the previous night as they both seemed to be holding themselves back- it would have been so wrong for them to lose self control. It would have been wrong of them to test out the theories they'd had about discovering each other in a more intimate sense.

Sara placed her shaky hands on Rueben's shoulders her fingers curling around the firm muscle bringing her body closer to his. His hands found their place in on her waist, gently running up and down the gentle curve of her body. They seemed to embrace each other as if they were new lovers keeping themselves close to each other's warmth.

They both pulled away leaving inches between them their breathing almost perfectly in sync as their eyes remained focused on each other's lips. In that moment it was as if the world around them had stilled. All of the words and thoughts that had haunted Sara's conscious seemed to have disappeared with that one kiss. She leant forwards placing her lips on Rueben's again but this time with more fervour taking nips at his lower lip as they both seemed to begin a duel for dominance.

Breathlessly ending the kiss Sara brushed a hand across his cheek meeting her eyes silently speaking of the significant of their encounter.

"I should go..."