A/N: Hello, sorry for the delay. -sweat drop- Why am I apologizing? It's only been a day. But hey, I'm going to put up a warning, only because I know there are some dumbasses that read the warning, read, and then get mad at the sexual content. Warning: Yes, there is fucking sexual innuendos in this chapter. As in, there are sexual implications. It's called a joke. So no flames, suckers.

Anyways, with that out of the way, I have to say I quite enjoyed this chapter, only because of its random humor. I know, I suck at fucking humor, but hey, just gotta live with it. =.= Now, go ahead. Read. I'm done here.

Oh, also, I've been having troubles with the next chapter. So, it may be another day or so before I can upload. I really need some good inspiration. God, where's my Icha Icha? -frantic search- Goddamn Kakashi, always stealing my books...-grumbles-

Full Summery:

The Four Aristocrats, known rulers of Konoha Elite – school for the bright and rich. The band made up of Sasuke Uchiha – son of profound Fugaku Uchiha and heir to the Uchiha Corporation; Neji Hyuuga – nephew of Hiashi Hyuuga and in line for the head of the Hyuuga INC; Gaara Sabaku – already head of the Sabaku Enterprise; and Shikamaru Nara – only successor to the Nara Association.

Naruto Uzumaki, young at the age of 16, but already a senior in high school enters the school of his dreams along with his foster-sister Ino. The adorable, cute, hilarious blond is without a doubt a great attraction to all of the men in Konoha Elite. Yet, upon catching the eyes of the three largest beneficiaries will definitely cause a few problems. Who will win the heart of the blond? And will Naru-chan be able to ward off the evils of fame and prices it comes with?

Contains Yaoi and pairings: SasuNaru, NejiGaara, ItaDei, ShikaIno, and KakaIru

Happy Reading! ^.^

Disclaimer:

BHIris: -scratches back of head self-consciously- Has sound-check been cleared yet? –some scrambling in the back- -eyes widen- WHAT? WE'RE ALREADY AIRING? –glances at camera- I—Er, welcome back People of Konoha. Yet another episode of Doubles the Charm begs to begin-er-now! Our next couple is the rivaling couple on the charts…welcome, Neji and Gaara!

-whistles and screams from the audience-

Neji: Alright…calm down everyone, I'm here.

-more screams-

Gaara: -whacks Neji's head- Quit being to melodramatic. You're not that important.

Neji: -teary eyes- What? I'm not? Then what am I to you? –sobs-

Gaara: -awkward stance- T-that's not what I meant! Stop crying, god dammit! Stop—

BHIris: Alright, let's stop with the dramatics. It's almost like watching a virtual soap opera…-sweat drop- Let's not go there. Ok, first question: How did you guys fall in love?

Neji: It was fate. Obviously.

Gaara: More like he dragged me for the first date and wouldn't let me go until I promised him a second one.

Neji: -shocked- I was not that needy! You're ruining my image here!

Gaara: -stares- It was already ruined the moment you stepped onto the stage.

Neji: -thinks- True, so that means I can do this.

-Neji proceeds to kiss the life out of Gaara in front of the audience-

-Lots of nosebleeds…including the hostess herself-

BHIris: Gaah! Stop stupid nosebleeds. But, god –googly eyes- THAT WAS SO HOT. I WISH I FUCKING OWNED YOU GUYS. BUT NO, YOU BELONG TO KISHIMOTO. FUCK HIM.

Neji: -breaks off kiss to breathe, whispering- She's still unstable, isn't she.

Gaara: -breathing hard- Thank fucking god she doesn't really own us. I think I would die.

Neji: -smirks- Naah, she'd probably just force us to have sex all day and film us.

Gaara: Then my ass would go numb.

Neji: -agrees- That it would.

Chapter Seven

"I still don't get it! God, why does fucking English have to be damn hard?"

Kiba's voice was portrayed around the room while he tugged on his already-messy hair.

Naruto rolled his eyes again, trying yet again to describe the difference between anthropomorphism and personification to the bull-headed idiot. It seemed to go through one ear and fly out the other. This kind of teaching was supposed to be left for the patient ones, like Iruka. Not Naruto who was not patient at all.

"Damn it Kiba, stop your whining! You're not going to get it if you keep interrupting me!"

So much for pranking the stupid teacher. After reading a paragraph from the book, Kakashi-sensei had paired them into groups of two, while handing out a vocabulary worksheet for them to define through the context. And from that moment on, Naruto's hands were full.

"What? What? What the hell is assonance?"

"If you actually used your brain as much as your fucking mouth, you might actually find out you moron! Look, it says right there in parenthesis, the repeated use of vowel sounds, dumbass."

"Well, bravo to you, oh-mister-smarty-pants! Whereas I actually have a social life and don't spend my free time stuck in stupid literature books!"

"Right, like I actually do that, stupid! I get good grades since I'm smart. How the hell did you get put into AP Literature anyways, being as you don't know words that we've learned since freshman year?"

Right about then, a full-out brawl broke out.

"Nani, Naruto! What the hell happened to you? I leave you alone for one period and you end up looking like a freaking bus ran over you—"

Naruto looked sourly at the other blond.

"Thanks so much for the compliment, Ino; since I certainly don't feel like I have a million bruises currently plastered on my arms right now or anything."

"—oh no, you didn't get into a fight again, did you? You know the last time you—"

Naruto stopped Ino's word diarrhea with a sharp glare. Don't talk about that now. She did so, looking a little sheepish, as Sakura and Kiba looked between them curiously.

Jumping straight back into his shamefaced expression, he quickly rearranged his facial features as he spoke.

"Ano, Ino-chan," He scowled at the brunette standing behind him, "Kiba here decided to throw a fucking punch at me and we both got detention." Both said boys were covered in bruises and dirt, their hair mussed up from their recent scuffle.

Ino laughed.

"Iruka's going to have a fit, you know. Be in for a vocal orchestra when you get home."

Naruto's face soured some more.

"Thanks Ino for reminding me. Now I'll have Iruka's mad face in my head for the rest of the day."

"Not my fault, as it was you who got into the fight."

"But, see here, it was all dog breath's fault since he's too stupid to comprehend anything that comes in contact with that tiny brain of his!"

"HEY! TAKE THAT BACK!"

"NO, I—"

Sakura yanked the two short boys apart with her masculine strength before another fight could start up again. Ino hit them both promptly in the head with the back of her manicured hand.

"Stop it, both of you before you somehow get your sorry asses suspended!"

Sakura nodded, eyes blazing.

"Right, and I want to get some fucking lunch, so you two will get a grip or so help me if I punch you into the cement to stop you from moving. Fight all you want outside, when I'm not fucking around to hear your stupid ass arguments."

She dropped them both into ungrateful heaps and stomped into the lunch line fuming, Ino following close behind. Naruto and Kiba both rubbed their heads simultaneously; their faces alit with rueful smiles.

"Fine, I'll forgive you this once dog-boy but—"

"You forgive me? More like I fucking forgive you for the stupid comments you made. And the stupid, big-ass bruise on my face the size of Jupiter. My mother's going to have a fucking fit when she sees this. And I have my sister's presentation to go to tonight! Ah dammit! Fuck, I forgot. Now whadda I do?"

Naruto snickered.

"Try borrowing your sister's makeup."

Kiba gave him an 'are-you-fucking-shit-with-me?' stare.

"Right, 'cuz that's exactly what I'll do. Turn up looking like a fucking chick and ruin my sister's presentation as well as our company's reputation. My mother would just kill me, raise me back to life and kill me again. Brilliant plan, be prepared to bury my body, twice."

Naruto waved him off.

"Aw, stop being so melodramatic. When I said borrow your sister's makeup, I meant concealer for that bruise on your face. Nothing else, you dumbass."

Kiba just sniffed, "Whatever."

Naruto stood up and pulled Kiba swiftly to his feet with surprising strength a person as tiny as him shouldn't possess. They both lumbered over to the crowding line of people waiting for cafeteria food. Ino and (thankfully) Sakura both looked pleasantly satisfied as they waved the boys over.

"Got over the little spiff, I'm hoping."

Light cackled in Sakura's mint green eyes as she said so, making both boys coward a little. Ino shrugged, smiling as if to say Hey, she's cool with me, so you'll just have to deal. Naruto thanked her sarcastically through a mental-email.

Upon getting their lunch, there was the aroused problem of where to sit. The tables were already partially crowded, only one table standing empty among the rest. Naruto started over, only to have both Sakura and Kiba pull him back.

Sakura literally whispered as she spoke.

"That's where the Four Aristocrats sit. No one ever takes their spot. It's, like, reserved." Her eyes were seemed to glow with glittery stars as she pictured them sitting there in all their dashing glory.

"Right," Ino added dryly, "Whatever you say. Come then, we have to find a seat still."

Kiba led them over the crowded mass of people in the center, to a corner booth where there were few kids scattered around.

"This is where our group usually sits."

Naruto tilted his head, "Group? You guys only make up two people. That hardly seems like a group to me."

Sakura pinched him in the arm, right on top of a bruise, making him yelp.

"Oops, sorry. But you're gravely mistaken, we," She gestured to herself and Kiba, "Are not loners. We have other friends too, thanks. They'll be coming in just about…NOW. Take cover guys."

She ducked under the table along with Kiba as a blur of green approached. Not processing the message quick enough, Ino and Naruto were quickly ambushed by the said 'green' man. He was dressed in a bright green leotard, his Konoha Elite jacket tied around his waist. Naruto blinked once. Twice. Nope, the green creature was still invading his vision.

"Hello, Friends of the Beautiful Cherry Blossom Sakura and Her Very Youthful Friend Kiba! I Am Rock Lee, the Courageous, Youthful Green Devil of Konoha Elite! I hope we can become Very Good Friends and celebrate this Very Youthful Day together!" He added a very bright, toothy smile at the end to accompany his request. The light seemed to ping off of his teeth, blinding the very Ino and Naruto he was facing at the moment.

Naruto edged a little towards the table in which Sakura and Kiba were currently hiding under. Ino just looked very green…but not quite as much as the bright outfit Rock Lee had on.

Leaning over the table, he gripped hard, his mind whirling. Oh my god, I'm going to hurl. Luckily, at that moment, a fairly normal-looking girl (finally!) with two buns on top of her head walked over, chuckling at the expressions of the newcomers. Tenten Yuri always found it amusing to see people's first impressions of Lee. He was rather a handful to take on, but little by little she and the group had gotten used to his unusual dress-code and language dialect. She glanced down at the two students under the table and smirked. Well, as close as getting used to Lee there was anyway. As amusing as it was, she finally decided to step in and save them.

"Alright Lee, don't scare the newbies away quite so fast."

He jumped up, his back locking into a tight position, finger raised in salute.

"Hai, Fair Maiden Tenten, I shall listen to your Wise and Youthful words of Knowledge."

She face-palmed at this and quickly rushed for him to drop the salute. He always did that around her and she had no clue why.

As all the rushing and commotion was happening, the silent raven haired teen approached the group. Though, unlike the other oh-so-popular raven, he had his hair spiked down, his hand carrying a notepad and paintbrush. His skin looked as pale as death itself, but he did not seem unhealthy. Perhaps, he just hated sunlight?

Sai Yagami was as silent as night as he stood next to the hysterical girl and green…thing. Though he didn't show emotions often (if at all), he was a little repulsed by the green-garnished, bowl-cut boy. Though, it was a wide-known fact that this group was a bit strange. Perhaps, that was why he was in it.

Ino turned around; finally spotting the black-haired raven she had been speaking with in Naruto's AP Literature class.

"Oh, hey Sai! I didn't know you were with these guys. How was AP Literature?"

He looked at her, pausing to think about his words.

"It was…cool," He played with that word on his tongue, "Naruto and the dog got into a fight. Kakashi-sensei was…hysterical."

Ino hummed, not really listening to the boy's words. Instead, she was watching his pale fingers wrapped tightly around his spiral-bound notepad.

"Hey, Sai—what's in that notepad of yours?"

He glanced down at his hand surprised.

"Oh this? I draw pictures in it. It helps me relieve…tension."

"Cool," Her blue eyes glistened, "Can I look at them?"

His eyes hardened into icy coal.

"No." When her expression fell, he quickly added, "My apologies, but I do not share my drawings with others."

She nodded, her face still downcast.

"I understand. It's alright."

At the moment, Naruto bounced up, his arm dragging Kiba from under the table. Sakura, however still remained under, as if being protected by a shield.

"Hey Ino, who's that guy? Another teme, like the ones you usually pick up?"

"…Pick up?" Sai's voice was curious. He'd never heard that expression before, not even in books.

It was Naruto's turn to look at him curiously. Had this guy lived under a rock?

"You know, asked out? Date? All of the above?"

"Do you mean when a man and woman love each other very much and have hot, passionate—"

"Alright," Sakura's voice hurriedly cut Sai's comment, knowing exactly where it would lead to, "How bout we eat our lunches during lunchtime."

Everyone made a noise of agreement and began to fork their less-than-appetizing cafeteria meal. Only Lee seemed excited, eating his food at an abnormally fast rate. Sakura, who had finally appeared from under the booth, was seated across the green thing unfortunately, forced to listen and endure his long list of exclamation points and Capital Letters of Emphasis. Lucky her. Ino chattered next to Sai, who in turn nodded and put in odd comments whenever she took a breath of much need air. Naruto and Kiba were cracking loud jokes (Kiba's with hidden sexual innuendos that Naruto didn't pick up), but no one cared. At least until…

"I like my toast from a toaster! Who doesn't? I mean, it wouldn't be toast if it weren't toasted, right?"

Kiba was smiling as everyone else at the booth stopped eating to watch. Well then, let's give them a show.

"Oh, really, you do huh? Do you like the toaster or the toast better?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, blond hair flying out freely.

"The toast, of course. It's the part you eat, obviously. What good is a hunk of metal when there's no food to toast?"

Kiba nearly burst out laughing, but kept it inside. Just a little longer.

"So, you like the toast better? That's your preference?"

"Of course, why? What do you prefer?"

He smiled devilishly, "I prefer the toaster of course. Where else to slide my toast into but the hot toaster?"

Sai, who for some reason always caught on fast to sexual innuendos, added in a clear voice, "I like milk with my toast. Don't you, dog-boy?"

Ignoring the 'dog-boy' dig, Kiba smiled as he played along.

"Of course. Milk is always somewhat refreshing after a pent-up day. Toast and milk does wonders to the body, doesn't it?"

By now, of course, everyone had caught on to the innuendo, except…Naruto. He was still confused as day, but still pretended he understood the conversation. But everyone knew he didn't, by his comments.

"I guess milk is very nutritious. That is understandable to have milk and toast together."

Kiba arched an eyebrow, "Really. When was the last time you had milk and toast together?"

Naruto thought about it, raising a finger to his chin.

"Hm…now that I think about it, maybe a week or so ago. Oi, Ino, we should make some milk and toast together for dinner tonight!"

Ino looked split between being repulsed and being straight-forward for Naruto's sake. However, Kiba cut in again before she could do either.

He slapped Naruto across the shoulder, inwardly sniggering at the boy's utter innocence.

"With Ino? Now that's pretty devil of you having some family toast together? Does your father know of this…milk and toast party?"

Naruto tilted his head, befuddled yet again. Why was Kiba asking so many weird questions?

"Of course. He joins in sometimes."

Kiba burst out in fits of laughter, unable to keep anything in any longer. Naruto looked bewildered at the odd behavior and no one seemed willing to tell him what was going on. Someone changed the subject and the ideal was forgotten. Mostly. But Kiba continued to ponder on it, giggling inwardly as he continued to watch Naruto's bright blond hair glisten under the unflattering school lights.