Well, I tried to sneak in here without causing too much of a stir….

I'm updating! Thanks to quite a few reviews I've gotten despite my obvious lack of updating, I've gained the motivation to update! Thanks to SO many readers who have encouraged me to do so!

You're not here for excuses. All I'm gunna say is, nursing school…consumes your soul =]

So there's PLENTY more where this came from, so have no fears! I'm off this spring semester from school, so I'm sure there will be (plenty) more updates! Thanks so much everyone!

In case you need a refresher, last time:

And then a figure, fuzzy and morphed at odd angles, materialized in my head. His armor was bulky, sword an icy blue as it pointed at me.

You are to be under Arthas' control.

I wanted to pound at something, bang loudly and break through whatever was becoming of me. But how was I supposed to break out of my own conscious?

Forsaken

Book Four, Part Two

Then, everything snapped to black again, and I suddenly became aware of breathing. Of humming.

I heard a hiss, probably my own, puncture the other low rumbles of sound. "Grace." I was breathing—I could hear my gasps, still ragged and irregular. Was I turning? Was I slipping away?

I still had my own thoughts, my own stream of consciousness…

"Grace."

My name was Grace. I remembered everything about my life, everything clear as a bell. What's going on? I wanted to say, but the only thing I heard was a long, weakened moan.

I belonged to the Alliance, I belong to the Alliance. I belong to the Alliance.

I gasped, a pain suddenly developing throughout my body, as if a numbing poison was beginning to wear off. The pain wasn't as extreme as it had been previously, it had dulled to something very close to bearable.

There was still darkness, but I could feel a warm hand on my cheek, moving to my neck, my bite marks. My hand moved at my will, I realized with excitement, and it went to grasp the hand now at my collarbone. "Zen," I whispered without even having to hear his voice.

"Oh, bless the Light," he uttered. "She's waking up!" he called, and I could hear a number of footsteps get closer to me.

Suddenly I was worried. "How long…was I gone?" I asked.

"Four days."

"Four…" I shook my head in disbelief. It had happened so fast in my mind, so quickly. "I still can't see," I said, gripping Zen's hand as if it was my lifeline to this world.

"It'll return, I promise," Zen whispered. "The process is reversing. Brae is a genius and managed to find antidotes to whatever synthetic poisons were bleeding into your system. Every single one he must have nailed."

"Reversed," I breathed. "But I was turning," I mentioned. Suddenly worried for the people around me. "No!" I willed myself to shoot up from my laying position, but Zen's arms had a tight lock on me once again. "He was in my head!" I explained with panic. "The Scourge was there! It was happening! It's dangerous!"

"If you had turned, you wouldn't be yourself right now," someone mentioned from further away. It could've been Brae's voice. "You'd have no recollections whatsoever."

I hesitated. "But there's still…a chance…"

"You're safe," Zen soothed. "You're alive."

The darkness surrounding me began to brighten to a burnt orange, and I winced at the change. "Is it…daytime?" I asked a bit rhetorically. Zen chuckled.

"Yes."

I nodded. "Good." Blinking hard, I forced tears to form under my eyes in an effort to speed up the process of sight. My eyelids lifted, and I was able to see figures—blurs and colors, but figures.

"It's coming back," I managed to utter in my shock. Another few blinks, and my sight had returned. It was hard to see at first with such bright colors surrounding me in my sensitive state, but it was better than no vision at all.

Zen was at my side, so perfect as he stooped over my form. Now I was crying out of happiness, finally convinced that everything was okay, was going to be okay. "Everyone looks the same," I exclaimed, relieved that I hadn't been altered in any way by our enemy.

"Everyone but you," Zen mumbled. My eyes widened, horrified that I had taken up pale, bony traits. "Calm down, Grace. It's just…your eyes."

"My eyes?" The pain had nearly left, my fingers grazing my cheek. "What's wrong with my eyes?"

"We'll show you in a bit. How are you doing?" Zen asked. Brae was right behind him, I now noticed, observing every phase of my recovery with exciting eyes. I hadn't really paid any attention to anyone but Zen…

"I'm almost perfect," I answered honestly. "But I can't…sense any auras…"

Zen patted my leg. "Then we'll wait. Everything else has gone according to plan." I nodded, unable to not trust Zen. He always pulled through for me, never made promises he couldn't keep.

At that moment, I was completely taken with him.

My final sense hit me like a frying pan over the head. I winced, the pressures of so many different auras surrounding me overbearing as I tried to adjust.

"Damn," I muttered, rubbing my head. "Can't any of you calm down a bit? Your auras are knocking me over."

Chuckles rumbled through the large room. I recognized many of the auras. Most of them from my times with SI:7. Everything that was stolen from me was now properly returned, and I was extremely grateful. "Brae." I motioned for the doctor to come closer, and when he did, I hugged him so tightly I thought he'd break. "I owe you my life now," I said as I pulled away. "Twice over."

Brae smiled. "I'm just glad you've come back to us. Oh," he turned around, to another bed. "Some good has come from your trauma. The rogue that had been bitten multiple times over a week ago…I decided that since the synthetic has to be close to the actual venom, the anti-serum had a chance at working."

I stood, hobbling a bit across the room to look at the man. He was breathing, at least. "It's a slow process, but we may be on to something."

"At least I didn't suffer for nothing," I commented lightly.

"Cmon, Grace," Zen's hand went to my shoulder. "You need rest, and I'm betting you'd rather sleep in your own bed."

I nodded, the idea of leaving this behind me sounding excellent. We left without much more ado, saying goodbyes where necessary. Of course, Brae told me to stay very close in touch, should anything out of the ordinary occur.

With a sigh I followed Zen into the house, exhaling in comfort. "I've never been so excited to see this house," I muttered.

"Care to see the minor change?" Zen asked, motioning toward the mirror. I pursed my lips, preparing for the worst, and finally stepped closer to the reflection.

My hair was matted and messed up from days on that bed, and bandages I hadn't noticed before were wrapped around my legs and even hands. They were probably evident on my back as well, as I recalled that glass gnashing at my skin. My bite, instead of the soft pink, was now a violet purple, maintaining the same shape it once had. I zoomed in closer to the mirror, noticing that from far away my eyes weren't any different. But closer up, the brown was broken by specs of purple.

It wasn't ugly. In fact, it was a bit enchanting, magical. I gazed at my own eyes for quite a length of time, perplexed by the mosaic. "That's amazing," I whispered.

Zen stood behind me, his eyes on my reflection as well. "It's definitely impressive."

"What if…that's evidence…that something inside me changed…as well?" I asked, unsure. His hands went to my shoulders as his gaze remained on our reflection.

"Grace, you're back. I almost lost you," he paused, "but you're back." We stayed there, simply standing motionlessly as I wrapped my mind around the fact that I hadn't died, that I was able to stay and live another day, hour, minute. Finally, Zen sighed. "You need to get some rest, Grace. You were…It was an intense handful of days. For both of us."

I nodded, watching in the mirror as Zen stepped back and walked into his room silently. For a few moments I stood there, alone with myself, until I thumped up the stairs leading to my bed. Mechanically I searched through my clothes, finding a nightdress that replaced my bloodied garments with ease. I rinsed my hair carefully, pouring the pitcher of water over my tresses. The water was ice cold, but it wasn't too much of a bother—my body had been overheating the past few days, a bit of a chill could do it some good.

I dried my hair with the towel, my brown hair easily falling to my mid-back as my bangs fell into their dutiful positions. For a moment I simply gazed at my own bed, the events that zipped by the past few days finally repeating themselves in my head. Most vivid was the memory of Zen's voice, the worry that had taken control of his usual demure attitude. And the tone of his voice when he basically promised me my survival, even though I was convinced I was facing death.

Silently I padded down the stairs yet again, easily done since I knew the creaky spots like the back of my hand. I walked around the corner, to Zen's door, where I clenched the doorframe. I knew he'd sense me—it didn't take him long to sit up and give me his questioning look.

"I don't really want to be alone right now," I expressed with a soft voice. The man gazed indifferently for a moment, and then he cocked a small grin.

"Okay. Come on," he beckoned quietly. Swiftly I moved, being sure I was within his room before he could think about changing his mind. I kneeled on his bed, absorbing myself with Zen's eyes. "What?" he asked, trying to pull the covers back so I could slip underneath.

"Zen." I pursed my lips. "You saved my life. Brae's anti-serum worked, but the only reason I pulled through all of that," I paused, trying to find the right word, "that agony…was because you were next to me. I just need to be near you right now. To remember the reason I'm still here."

He was quiet, but his arm motioned for me to lay down, and I complied. The satin sheets were incredibly comfortable around my bandaging. Perfectly content with merely feeling Zen's presence close, I could have slipped into sleep. But then Zen's sculpted arm draped over my midriff, like it had while I was bedridden, and my eyes opened in curiosity. "I'm simply making sure this isn't a dream," he explained.

Smiling, I could finally drift into a place where dreams did occur.

I awoke slowly, allowing my senses to recall my surroundings. The first clue was the satin sheets gliding away from my shoulder blades as I groggily sat up. Even though I had just woken up, I could pick up Zen's aura in the kitchen. Yawning, I shuffled through the doorway to peek at whatever Zen was doing.

He of course knew I had gotten up, the banging of pantry doors getting noticeably louder as if he was trying to drown out my presence. I could tell he was trying to keep it under control, to conceal his edginess. I folded my arms, leaning on the wall as Zen busily threw open every door, clipped it shut, and moved on to the next. The process repeated a handful more times until Zen finally growled, hands braced against the counter as he intentionally stared down the wall across form him.

I sighed. "Okay, Zen. Fume away."

"What we're doing is wrong," he stated all-too quickly. An eyebrow of mine rose as I tried to hide a frown of confusion.

"Doing? As in we're still, right now, participating in something wrong?"

"So you're agreeing that last night was wrong?" he prodded, head angling toward me even though his eyes didn't move.

My aura darkened in disappointed realization. Last night…It hurt the slightest that Zen could think it had been wrong—that was the best sleep I had gotten in weeks, and now he was pouting about the fact that it happened. "You're upset…about last night?" I asked carefully.

"N-" He exhaled sharply in an attempt to gather his thoughts. "It was inappropriate."

"Inappropriate?" I snapped. "Zen, we didn't do anything."

"You slept with me!" he corrected through his teeth, wincing. "That sounds terrible."

"Nothing happened," I dictated slowly. At some point during Zen's rant I had loosened my folded arms and took a step closer to Zen.

"It's nothing to you?" Zen snapped. His eyes finally locked onto mine, freezing every trace of thought inside me.

"To me? This is about me now?"

"Well it certainly involves you!" Zen contended. "Ever since you, everything's been turned inside-out!

"Well, I'm sorry!" I barked. Zen's grip finally let go of the poor counter as he chuckled darkly in amusement.

"Sorry for what?" he demanded. "Do you even know what it is?"

"What what is?" I growled.

"You're bringing about these unavoidable," he sighed, "feelings in me."

My fingers curled into balls, eyes minimizing to slits. "This again?" I seethed. "Remember that one night, when I called you unfeeling? You were troubled by what I had said. Now you're trying to tell me that you aren't bred to have emotions? That you're really content with being an unfeeling assassin like I said?"

In a swift moment Zen closed the few paces between us, arms pounding the wall behind me as I could only reel back at the momentum. My knuckles scraped against the wood now holding me close to Zen. Subconsciously my back arched in a mix of uneasiness and eagerness at his closeness. It was a terribly riveting thought, knowing that Zen could affect me in such clashing ways. I noted of a few things: one, Zen's face was definitely inches below my own, his nose actually grazing the skin along my neck and sparking something near ecstasy; two, his aura was heated, so intense I nearly thought it would singe my nightgown; and three, that I wasn't afraid of the feeling, only upset that it was pooling off of Zen so easily and completely directed at me. It hurt—not physically, really, but mentally. Emotionally. The rogue's breath was hot against my neck, mirroring his aura. "I have feelings, Grace." It was intended to be rough, but he must have been as consumed with my aura as I was his—the sentence was a murmur, a rumble that danced across the skin of my neck.

"Zen…" I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself from acting irrationally. Stupid emotions were building, and his contact wasn't helping…

My usual surroundings disappeared, replaced with blues and whites that nearly blinded me. The vision I was given was blurred and sketchy, skipping and stuttering in an odd point of view.

Impossible! How did we lose her?

Was that my voice? It was strikingly familiar, a chilling reminder…And then I remembered—when I was being turned, the Scourge attempting to take me…it was the same voice from my thoughts back then.

It was like seeing through the lens of another person. I saw a few other figures, dark and disfigured as a rage propelled my vision.

There was only one thing I was fully certain of: these weren't my thoughts. Everything else was foreign but familiar—I would have never been capable of dreaming up such a strange scene. Black figures in long black robes hovered before me, and although everything was distorted I could see they were bowed in what seemed like reverence.

It was a confusing sensation. Blues provided a backsplash for the for the dark demonic figures.

She could have been beneficial! roared a voice on all of my sides. I couldn't control where I turned, otherwise I would have looked for the origin of the sound.

Yess, sire, replied another, one hooded face rising. But something went awry. Two things struck me: one was that I recognized that voice so well that had I been in my own body with my own feelings, I would have gasped in pain and horror. The hooded figure was Clad. And the second thing: that he was seemingly looking at me—only seemingly because his eyes, through my unsteady lens, managed to convey some mix of fear and wonder. Nothing that thing held for me.

It wasn't me in this dream, vision—whatever I had been thrown into. The setting should have been a clue; the people involved as well. But it was especially alarming because I realized nothing was in my control. I was looking through another's eyes, hearing through different ears.

Even my feelings were under some sort of influence. There was a rage, anger, and a chilling thirst for blood burning what would be my throat. But with these feelings came a conviction of insurmountable power, of invincibility as if I could crush that stupid, cowardly, wretched little minion beneath my fingers. End his puny, meaningless substitution of a life.

I should end your existence.

Clad nodded knowingly, and it gave me pleasure that he would croon to my every word. A dark chuckle rumbled my throat.

However, your loyalty does not go unnoticed…

The blue began to fade into white, black figures seemingly slipping into an unbreakable fog. My breathing was irregular. It was its sound I first sensed as the foreign scene slipped away.

"Grace!"

My eyes snapped open, Zen's familiar house now surrounding me once more.

I noticed how painful my position on the floor was—I was sitting against the wall, where I had been arguing with Zen previously. My spine felt jarred against the hard surface behind me, and my limbs felt sore; upon a look downward, I realized every muscle below me was flexed, so rigid it hurt my joints.

"Grace." Zen was hovering above me, though his hands didn't dare touch me. I could imagine how frightening I looked, body tensed and shaking under the strain. With a slow exhale I concentrated on relaxing as Zen's face hovered above mine. His left hand propped his body against the wall above my shoulder, right hand a hair away from my left leg. Coming as close to contact as possible without touching.

I groaned as my legs slid out, muscles throbbing now that they could relax. "Are you okay?" Zen asked hurriedly. His eyes searched my own as I focused on breathing. The experience—whatever caused it—had momentarily taken control of my whole being.

"Did I pass out?" I asked carefully, blinking hard. My senses had to refocus, reset…

"I thought you had…your body froze, completely collapsed in front of me…but your eyes were open, not blinking…" I winced, knowing it was probably as scary for Zen as it was me. "You looked almost dead, but…breathing…"

"Then I wasn't dreaming," I commented dryly. Zen's hand finally rested on my leg, his eyes begging for answers. It was warm to the touch, encouraging.

I trusted Zen. With my life. He was the reason I still breathed. I owed him everything and more.

I had to tell Zen everything, I knew, as I gazed into his green eyes. His white hair glittered in the sunlight shining through the window, making him look like an angel. A guardian angel, I mused.

It felt like a necessity…a want, desire to tell him. Part of me feared how he'd react; the fact that I saw the Scourge, conversed with them, felt so…Undead.

I saw them. There was no doubt in my mind that it hadn't been a dream, but a vision.

With a small bit of courage, I inhaled. "I saw the Scourge," I finally whispered quietly.

Zen's facial expression was stone solid, and I grew tempted to reach out and make sure he was real. My hands stayed at my sides, bandaged hands gripping the hem of my nightgown to keep them under control.

"Zen," I whispered carefully, face looking downward to hide my fear.

"The Scourge," he muttered.

"I wasn't myself. It was through someone else's eyes. I didn't…have my own emotions. I felt like one of them."

I tried to recall the details, and the pause must have been too long for Zen's taste. His hand hesitated a moment before it fell from the wall and grasped my cheek. "Tell me what happened," he articulated in a low, urgent whisper.

"Are you…worried?" I asked, an eyebrow raised.

His fingers flexed along my leg, sending a shiver down my already sore back. Those senseless feelings were returning, irrationality was clouding my thoughts. "Why would you even ask such a silly question," Zen purred in my ear. "What happened?' he asked with the same intensity.

I told him every detail I could remember. The vision had been short, but the sensations were so vivid and foreign that everything needed described.

"It felt like I became a part of…him," I muttered. "Connected. His thoughts, senses, emotions…I felt them, too."

"Connected," Zen surmised. When I stole a questioning glance, his eyes lowered to my collarbone. To my scar.

"I know," I mumbled. "It's the only explanation." The venom Clad had poisoned me with was my only connection with the Scourge. "It…it must have changed something within me after all," I forced thinly through my lips.

Zen sensed where my thoughts were going. "Stop," he stated, a finger held to my lips.

"But I'm right!" I exclaimed. "You don't want me saying it out loud because they're your thoughts, too!" I sputtered.

"No," Zen nearly growled.

"There's something wrong with me," I stated all-too calmly. It was too obvious, the only explanation—my vision was anything but a good sign of recovery.

"Nothing is wrong-"

"What if it's only been slowed by Brae's anti-serum? What if I'm still turning, Zen?"

"You aren't!" Zen answered.

"You don't know that," I growled. "They still have a hold on me. Connected. I'm a danger to my own Alliance."

I couldn't think about anything else, only imagine what I could be capable of if the visions persisted. If they grew more realistic, more detailed. "They were talking about me in that vision," I thought out loud. "Whoever that thing is…he was severely displeased with Clad. He said…I would have been…'beneficial.'"

"Would have been, Grace," Zen acknowledged. "They know they don't have you. The Scourge…whoever is supposed to have complete control of you…can't reach you." His hands went to my shoulders. "You're safe. I promise. Stop being completely irrational about this."

"If they can't reach me, why can I see them?" I asked.

Zen sighed. "I don't know. I wish I did."

"Me too." I sighed also, mind wandering. "I wonder what triggered it…"

"Like I said…"

"I know, I know. 'I don't know,'" I mocked in the best seductive and smooth voice possible.

"Ha, ha," Zen jested, pulling himself off the floor. Frowning, I followed. "Get dressed."

"Why?"

"We still have a duty to tell SI:7. To clear things up."

I blanched. "B-but you said I was safe!"

Zen chuckled. "I did. But they must be warned nonetheless."

"Warned…" My thoughts were processing at an incredibly fast rate, imaging what benefit SI:7 could have over my odd revelation. Zen eyed me suspiciously.

"I don't like that look. It means your mind is wandering again."

"Say I'm experiencing things that are happening the very moment I see them," I began. "If it happens often…I could potentially get a hold of sacred information for us. About them."
Zen shook his head. "You're crazy, girl."

"This happened to me for a reason!" I called, grabbing Zen's wrist as he tried to walk away from my argument. I turned him toward me, hand grasped around his wrist to keep his attention. "You know I'm on to something," I announced.

"I'm not going to let you," Zen muttered. "It's too dangerous."

"Dangerous?" I squeaked. "As opposed to shipping off a handful of our friends in SI:7 to spy on the enemy?" I asked. "And next time they have our people outnumbered, we won't get away with a new mutant-rogue with an extra set of eyes. I'm here. The Scourge is out there somewhere."

"That doesn't make it safe."

"It makes for a better option, though," I countered. "I'm one rogue. My sacrifice would be less lethal—beneficial, even, for our side."

"Grace, it's too risky…"

"This entire war is risky," I retorted coolly. "Now, I'm getting dressed. We have a meeting with SI:7."

Zen was furious as we walked to our base. He refused to talk, even look at me. I wasn't going to worry too much about his anger—he would understand in time that the advantages outweighed the risks.

At least, I hoped. I was willing. My goal was still revenge and defense of my people.

Nothing would deter me from my goal. Not even Zen's obvious attitude.

Zen followed me into SI:7. I wasn't sure who to go to within the walls, so I took my usual route to Officer Jared's loft.

At first the officer greeted us with a knowing smile, and I immediately remembered that throughout this entire ordeal, I still wasn't officially accepted into SI:7 as of yet. Zen's presence would normally inform Jared that I was ready for the next step—which now would be initiation.

I wish it was that easy.

"What a pleasant surprise!" Jared announced. I flinched at the cheerfulness.

"It's not what you think," Zen tried to state calmly. The words came out thin.

The smile faded from Officer Jared's face, replaced with concern. He folded his arms, learning closer in. Perhaps now the stark contrast between Zen and my auras was obvious. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong," I corrected. "But something…strange is happening to me."

"Her recovery has had some…complications," Zen muttered.

I explained everything once again, as I had with Zen. Once I finished, Jared leaned back into his oversized chair, eyes mulling over us even though his rogue ability could sense much easier.

"But you're eager about this…discovery of yours?" Jared asked.

That was only obvious because Zen's aura was reeking of defiance, I wanted to mutter. "Think of the advantages it could have," I explained. "If it develops further…if I can improve it. Zen and I both agree that the Scourge are unable to sense me, so…"

"You could become the most lethal spy SI:7 has ever acquired," Jared muttered. Zen shifted in his position, a gulp suppressing a growl in his throat. "You have…objections, Zen?" Jared asked casually, with a sense of amusement.

"We haven't considered the dangers in this idea," Zen replied. I was surprised at how controlled the statement was, despite the aura that nearly sizzled around him.

"Grace has considered them, it seems," Jared observed. "Zen, she has accepted the burden and is willing to take the risks."

"But…"

"Zen, I don't know what's gotten into you. You've always put SI:7's welfare first. Before your own life, even. What has-"
"Grace is still my student," Zen cut off his fellow comrade. Momentarily I had forgotten that the two were ranked evenly. "Her life is still my responsibility."

"Responsibility?" I growled, feeling heat rise to my cheeks quicker than I was able to control. "If it's going to be too much of a hassle to keep an eye on me now, Zen, please feel free to permit me into commencement. I wouldn't want to become a burden, after all."

Zen's eyes snapped to mine, furious because I had called his bluff. He had no other excuses for Jared, except that perhaps he truly cared for my well-being—and Zen wasn't about to acknowledge such a concept to Jared.

"Besides," I prompted, folding my hands behind my back and keeping my eyes on Jared. "You said I was ready. My skills have far surpassed the requirement."

"Well now I say you're not ready!" Zen growled.

"Based off of what evidence?" I retorted just as enthusiastically.

My mentor shook his head in disbelief, the silence a hard contrast against the strength of Zen's aura. "Zen, why isn't Grace ready?" Jared also asked.

"Because, I-" I bit my lip, unable to anticipate what sort of reasoning Zen was formulating in his brain. "Because I say so!" Zen finally answered.

I huffed in response.

"Zen, there is no reason Grace should not be initiated. Everything Grace has accomplished and survived only proves she is fully capable. Zen, if there are external reasons for why you wish to prohibit Grace's success, you shouldn't let her suffer for them."

External reasons? My eyes lifted to read Jared's expression. It seemed serious enough, but a slight smile was lifting the right corner of his lips. In the spur of the moment, I could pinpoint only warmth in his aura.

"I'm not quite sure I understand," Zen muttered.

"Let's say...hypothetically…that a student and teacher were to become…extra close in their endeavors together," Jared began.

I must have stopped breathing—it was the only explanation as to why I suddenly felt like I was drowning.

"Jared, please…"

"Of course, SI:7 has no rules against relationships between officers and non-ranked rogues, since only Rillhelm has the power to promote officers, there's no conflict of interest. But mentors control every aspect of their student's development. Therefore, hypothetically, SI:7 could have an issue with such a situation. Hypothetically," Jared added with a grin.

I blinked, inhaled, exhaled. That wasn't quite the approach I would have made to the argument, but the more astonishing fact was that Jared had tuned completely into the relationship Zen and I shared.

If it was even considered a relationship.

Whatever it was hypothetically, it had Zen cornered. Not only was my initiation going to aid in my usefulness, but it could also erase Zen's guilty conscience should anything happen…

Not that there would be anything…

But the scare worked. Zen sighed. "Fine." He stepped closer to me, his right hand landing on my left shoulder. "Officer Jared, may I present you Grace Fulstorm," he muttered quickly. "As her mentor I attest to her talent and judgment, and I request that SI:7 consider Grace for official recognition as a soldier of the Alliance."

"Your request is accepted. Grace, do you attest to your mentor's assertion?"

"Yes."

"Your acceptance into SI:7 will be brought to Major General Rillhelm tomorrow at noon."

I nodded.

Zen and I were nearly home when I decided to open my mouth. "What happens at the initiation?"

"You stand before Rillhelm, and he either accepts or declines the request of commencement."

"That's it?"

"Mhm."

I paused, watching as Zen opened the door to his home. "Has anyone ever been denied?"

"A few throughout the course of history. Usually it only occurs if the inductee is a suspected spy."

I stopped near the staircase, thinking of my awkward predicament. "Jared's probably going to explain to Rillhelm my acquired gift…do you think that's grounds for denial?"

"No. Stop panicking."

"And you're going to treat me like this until noon tomorrow?" I observed, arm catching the banister of the stairs.

"Hmm?" Zen walked into his room, removing his shirt as if a girl wasn't behind him watching.

"Forget it," I seethed, not bothering to look behind me as I thumped as ungracefully and loudly up the stairs as possible.

Never mind that come tomorrow, I wouldn't be under Zen's wing anymore. That he wouldn't have his responsibility anymore. That I'd have no excuse to stay near him anymore.

Yes. Never mind all of that.

I wasn't quite sure how to dress that morning. If it would be too strange to arrive at a rogue initiation ceremony in a dress. I figured, why not? One of the last times I would be given a reason to wear one.

The dress was purple. I thought it fit nicely with my new eye color and violet scar decorating my collarbone. I even made sure my hair looked tidy enough for presentation.

And I hadn't dared descend down the stairs until I absolutely had to. Zen was awake, and I really didn't want to be submerged completely in the animosity his aura quelled.

Of course, all hopes had to come to an end at some point.

"Grace."

I glided down the stairs, shaking my bangs that were usually pulled back out of my eyesight. When my feet clopped onto the first floor, I finally looked at Zen.

He was dressed on the more formal side as well. Zen was doused in complete black, from shirt to boot. His long, black overcoat nicely fit over his lean muscles, the collar framing his long neck in an attempt at subtle mysteriousness.

"What a shame. I don't think there will be any women at the ceremony who can appreciate your effort," I commented lightly. Zen smirked.

"I'm not trying to impress any women. My only concern today is you."

I wasn't sure how to take the comment, whether to blush or glare, so I merely disregarded it. Once the silence had consumed us once again, Zen sighed.

"You don't have to rush into this simply because you've gained this new ability," Zen encouraged.

"You don't have rush into this either," I grumbled. "So why did you?"

"Because you're ready," he answered.

I shook my head. "Then explain to me why you're so angry."

"I am not angry," Zen snipped. I gave him my most dead-panned expression I could possibly muster.

"Zen. You should know by now I'm the last person you can fool with that."

He sighed, defeated. "I suppose I panicked. Jared's right. If something were to happen…"

"Hypothetically…"

"…hypothetically…we could both be in serious trouble. You're ready, and I didn't want to take that chance anyway."

"Zen…did you let your feelings…cloud your sense of judgment?" I asked with a smirk.

"I meant the chance that people would take our…closeness…for intimacy. Better to be safe…"

"Oh, so now you're just taking precautions?" I whispered, purposely taking a step closer so that my lips were near his neck. "So it doesn't enthuse you to think that in a few hours, this will be perfectly allowable?"

Zen groaned in frustration, his arms pushing me a step back gently. "Allowable isn't the same as doable. It's not right…two rogues trying to work out a…relationship…it's simply unsuitable for our nature."

"Would you rather have a relationship with a civilian girl?" I countered. "A farmer's daughter, perhaps? Someone you'd have to leave behind, unable to promise your safe return to. A girl with a simple life who couldn't possibly fathom what you face every day?"

"It doesn't matter who," Zen countered. "In the end, I'm still a rogue. I still have duties that clash too much with the emotions I've acquired…"

I growled, now completely determined to sift out Zen's strange behavior for my sake as well as his. With one hand I dragged the other rogue to the doorway where we had our argument similar to this one. "Remember this place?" I goaded, pushing Zen into his position facing the wall. I slammed my own body against the surface, glaring. "You were furious. But you wouldn't back down. I have feelings, you said. You said it."

Zen's eyelids hid his beautiful green eyes for a moment as he gathered himself.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of that fact," I continued, knowing Zen was well beyond words. "I nearly lost myself to those monsters. Nearly lost my thoughts, feelings, memories. I refuse to take for granted what I've almost lost. You shouldn't either." My hand went to his chest, his heartbeat eerily calm beneath my touch. "You're human. This," I tapped his heart, "still belongs to you. That's something the Scourge can't fathom. Something you shouldn't consider a burden but a gift." I dropped my hand, sighing in realization. "Like my new ability. A gift…"

"Grace."

"That's what I wanted to say. Before that stupid vision completely wrecked it."

"Grace."

His face was again close to mine, much like our previous predicament. I sucked in a breath, hoping my nervousness wasn't too obvious in my aura. "It's going to be hard, you know," he muttered.

I nodded, beyond words.

"Especially if you're late to your own initiation," Zen added, and I could feel his smile as his lips grazed my neck.

"I suppose that would complicate things," I commented as Zen pulled away, smirk still on his lips.

[end]

Thanks so much, everyone! And don't forget to review, they make my day =]