After the Storm 18

I don't own these characters; I just like to spend time with them. No other profit to be had than that.

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An uncomfortable week passed, for the occupants of the small brick house. The familiarity and love, that had once been the mainstay of their relationships with each other, had been replaced with sullen silence and trepidation, of mentioning anything about the reason they were all there in Boston, instead of home in Dodge.

Doc, much to his surprise, found it increasingly more comfortable to spend time with Margaret than with Matt and Kitty. Though he loved the both of them, and had started to think of Benjamin as he would a grandson, he hated the silent chasm that had opened between the child's parents.

Kitty worked hard on regaining her strength and independence, disliking having to rely on Matt to help her. Though he hadn't made a single complaint, and had been completely loving and thoughtful, her injured heart still wasn't sure whether it wanted to take a chance.

Matt wasn't sure of a few things himself. He knew, he had a lot to make up to her, and he knew he should count himself lucky that she hadn't already thrown him out, but he needed things to be right between them again.

As it had been.

Before the horrible storm had come into their lives.

He needed to explain, to tell her everything, to have her understand. His time to do that finally came, when he least expected it.

It was a sunny and warm morning, unusual weather for Boston in December. Doc had spent the night at Margaret's house and was still there. Though Kitty knew, when he did come back he would avow himself to have been a perfect gentleman, she sincerely hoped he hadn't been. He and Margaret made a nice couple and she hoped they would get together.

Kitty had slept alone. Matt slept on the floor of the parlor, as the couch was too short for his long frame. Hearing Benjamin cry, Kitty had risen and gone to him. No sooner had she picked him up than Matt appeared at her side, swiftly pulling him from her arms.

"Kitty, you shouldn't be lifting him" he scolded her lightly. "He's too heavy for you."

"He is not" Kitty said, trying hard to keep her temper. Matt had been fussing over her since she got home, and she was getting tired of it. With the weather uncooperative, she had been cooped up in the house for a full week, and Matt's constant attention was getting on her nerves. "He is my son, Matt, and I am quite capable of taking care of him."

Matt sighed patiently "Honey, I didn't mean you weren't capable, I just meant with your back being hurt and all…."

"My back is fine," she snapped, glaring at him.

Matt handed Benjamin back to her and turned towards the kitchen. "How about I make us some coffee?" he asked, with forced cheerfulness.

"Sure," she said, as she placed the baby on the changing table. "Coffee would be just fine."

As Matt disappeared into the other room, she swiftly changed Benjamin's diaper and clothes and then sat down in the rocker and settled him against her breast to nurse.

Matt didn't reappear until she had Benjamin fed and burped. "Coffee's ready," he said, from the kitchen door, savoring the sight of her and his child. "Bring you a cup?"

Swallowing her irritation, she nodded. "Sure, thank you."

As Matt went back into the kitchen, Kitty rose and placed a now sleeping Benjamin back into his bassinette. She had just turned around and taken a step forward, when her back caught in a spasm. Falling forward she reached for arm of the chair to steady herself, but failed to catch it.

Matt had just stepped back into the parlor, when he saw her lurch forward. Quickly setting the coffee down, he raced over to grab her. "Kitty, I told you to let me help you," he said reaching for her.

"Let go of me!" she seethed. "I don't want your help, Matt Dillon."

Matt ignored her as he bent to pick her up, but she pushed him away. "I said, let me go." Though it was a struggle she managed to gain her feet, and took a step away from him. "I have been here for eight months, Matt" she almost screamed. "I have had to do everything alone, and if I do say so myself, I have done a damn good job without your help. What makes you think I need it now?"

"Kitty, forgive me, I'm sorry", He said, "I know I wasn't here, but I wanted to be. I wanted to be with you and our son more than anything. But I had to find the men behind those threats, and I had to make sure you were safe."

Kitty hadn't really meant to be so harsh but she had reached her breaking point. The anger and resentment and hurt had taken their treacherous toll on her emotions, and she could no longer hold it in.

"You hurt me, Matt, worse than I've ever been hurt by anyone. You didn't want me back in Dodge, you didn't want our baby. You pushed us away. Now suddenly you think you can waltz back into my life, with some half baked excuse about some idle threats, and you expect me to just forgive all? WELL I DON'T THINK SO, MARSHAL!"

Matt's eyes dropped to the floor, as though something terribly exciting was happening there, that needed his immediate attention. He knew it would come. He knew sooner or later, she and he would have to have it out, but at the same time he had dreaded it.

Sighing deeply, he finally brought his eyes up to meet the stormy gaze of the women he loved. "Kitty," he began, "I know I hurt you, and I know how badly. And if there was any way, what so ever, of changing that I would do it. But Honey, I had no choice. Or at least, I didn't know of one at the time. Those threats weren't idle, Kitty. You were in danger, our baby was in danger, but you wouldn't listen to me and you wouldn't leave."

Kitty heard the contrition in his voice, and forced herself to turn away, not yet willing to let go of the anger, that had in a way, sustained her for the last 8 and half months.

"Kitty," Matt continued. "I don't know what I can say or do to convince you, but I swear, not once, did I ever stop loving you. I just couldn't let them hurt you, and you would've been hurt."

Kitty turned around, her expression softened, but hurt and anger still present. "As bad as I was I was hurt by you?" She asked.

Matt nodded. "Kitty, remember that cowboy that came into the Long Branch, and just started shooting for no reason?"

She nodded, remembering how close one of those bullets had come to her head as Sam had pushed her down behind the bar.

"Well, he was sent there by the men behind those threats. The only reason he didn't kill you was because of Sam. And there were other incidents that you, and even I at the time, put down to accidents that weren't accidents. Kitty honestly, I did the only thing I could."

TBC