Somewhere Only We Know Chapter 18 part two, a glee fanfic

After Rachel and Tina had sat down Quinn raised her hand.

"Mr. S we have a song to sing too. This is for someone in the room." Quinn said as she, Brittany, and Santana situated themselves. Quinn picked up the acoustic guitar that Rachel had just used and began to play. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany began to sing in perfect harmony

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

While singing all three girls kept their eyes on Rachel hoping that she would understand that eventually it would be okay and that things would get better.

Rachel got a little misty eyed as she listened to the song and let it sink in. She knew they would talk about it later but she appreciated the song greatly and it meant a lot to her. When they finished the song and made their way back to their seats Rachel hugged each one of them and ended up sitting on Quinn's lap and snuggling into her. Quinn sat content with her arms around Rachel ignoring the stares and the smile on Puck and Kurt's faces.

-Cut to home after homework is done-

The girls where in Brittany's room watching the finishing credit's of Easy A.

"Rachel, can we talk to you?" Quinn asked. Rachel nodded knowing that this conversation was coming.

"I already know what you guys are going to say." Rachel said before any of the girls could say anything. "I'm… I'm not healed yet. Not by a long shot. But now I'm trying. I can't always communicate with you how you want me to. That talk too much girl I was… She's dead, she died slowly from the day he put his hands on me and died the night he did and frankly she isn't going to come back. I can't always say what I'm feeling and its going to be hard and I'm sorry that I'm this way… I know you're going to tell me it's not my fault and all those things… he said weren't true but I can't just turn off his voice in my head telling me all my imperfections. But… I'm going to try so please just give me time. I want whatever this is and I do want to be happy I just…. It's going to take time." Rachel said looking at her hands the entire time."

"We are going to be there every step of the way Rachel…. We'll try not to push okay?" Quinn said. Rachel nodded. A few seconds later before anymore conversation could be had the girls where called down to dinner.

After dinner Rachel had went downstairs to her little make shift cave. Without locking the door she went to sit on the bed with her guitar. Heather being curious went to go downstairs and talk to Rachel but stopped short when she heard the girl sing which was something she had never heard before. She sat on the stairs leaving the door open as she recognized the Mumford & Sons song Rachel was playing and smiled.

From the living room Quinn, Santana, and Brittany heard Rachel singing from downstairs and listened to the words of the song she sung smiling.

You saw my pain, washed out in the rain
Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
But you saw no fault no crack in my heart
And you kneel beside my hope torn apart
But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you
And we'll live a long life
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me we'll be alright

So lead me back
Turn south from that place
And close my eyes from my recent disgrace
Cause you know my call
We'll share my all
Now children come and they will hear me roar
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me that we'll be alright

But hold me still bury my heart on the cold
And hold me still bury my heart on the cold

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold on as long as you like
Just promise me that we'll be alright

But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you
And we'll live a long life

Getting up and closing the door behind her discretely wiping tears from her eyes Heather got up, finally closing the dorr behind her, and made her way downstairs.

"Wow, Ducky that…. That was amazing."

Rachel jumped slightly and looked up to see Heather standing by the stairs. She hadn't realized that that anybody was listening. She put the guitar back on the stand and sat down on the bed.

"Thank you… I didn't realize that anyone was listening."

"I'm sorry I was going to call you for some ice cream mom brought and I heard you. You have an amazing voice."

Rachel just shrugged her shoulders and looked at her hands. Heather made her way to the bed and sat down next to Rachel.

"Do you listen to a lot of Mumford and Sons?" Rachel looked up at Heather surprised that she knew the artists that she was playing.

"Yeah I… They're my favorite band."

"They're pretty amazing. I have all their cd's and songs on my computer if you'd like to borrow them."

Rachel nodded her head and gave Heather a small smile.

"Rachel the lyrics you were singing... Did you really mean them? Were you serious about what you where singing?"

Rachel took a moment to think about the question before answering trying to find the right words to describe how she was feeling.

"I do…. I just…. It's hard I went from living with two happy gay men, to one angry man who beat me and made me feel like absolutely nothing, and I am so accustomed to the hate and the ugly and the beatings and the bad words, and now to be here and to be surrounded by all of this is too much. I feel like it's not over and that I will wake up one day and this will all be some sort of sick dream and he will be right there again and I….."

Heather put her arm around Rachel and pulled her into her side. She wanted to help this girl for many reasons and she was trying but she knew it was hard for Rachel and she wishes she can just snap her fingers and the girl would be okay.

"Ducky its okay. I understand what you're trying to say. I know it's not going to be easy. I know you're going to have your days, but you have us now and it's not just a dream. It's real and it's going to get easier. And this right here is you trying to get better. Now come on before Brittany eats all the ice cream."

Rachel laughed and made her way upstairs with Heather to get some ice cream. "If this is what having a big sister is like then I could get used to this." Rachel thought as she stood in the corner eating her vegan organic chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

-AT NIGHT-

Rachel jumped up, snapping her eyes open, with her hand over her heart as she looked around the semi dark room making sure she wasn't at her old home… if she could even call that a home. She looked over at Quinn to see that she was still sleeping. She picked up her iphone and checked the time. 2:45 in the morning. She sighed and grabbed her headphones and made her way downstairs playing her "Midnight" playlist semi loudly. She stepped into the kitchen and started to get herself glass of water. A ritual of hers whenever she was sad. She sat out in the living room and looked out of the window thinking about her night terror.

-NIGHT TERROR-

She was helpless. She couldn't move. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She was back in that house. That fucking house that she hated, despised, a thorn in her side that no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't get out of her. She knew he was coming but she couldn't do a damn thing about. No matter how much she willed herself to move, to run, and to flee, to just fucking escape she couldn't and the anxiety itself was enough to kill her.

"I'm always here and when I find you, and I will find you, I will make you pay, do you understand me Rachel?" He screamed. His voice would come closer to her with every syllable. But once again as much as she would will her body to move she couldn't. She was there and powerless like every time he would beat her until she would black out.

"I found you." He said smirking sinisterly as he looked down on her with murderous eyes. He grabbed her by the neck and squeezed as he lifted her from her small corner on the ground.

"You will never be able to escape me you ugly, worthless, little shit." He whispered into her ear as he threw her on the floor.

When she finally got the ability to get up she ran. And she ran right into him in the cabin where he got her alone for the last time. She looked up and saw even angrier eyes losing her ability move once again. She stood there hurt, exposed, and open, with her heart ripped from her chest and squeezed into nothing in his bloody hands. He looked at her with such distain, and anger, looking like a wild animal or an untamable beast.

While she was in his grasps she watched behind as he killed every single person who had helped her or who she cared for and yet she could do nothing but scream in her head. Her mouth sowed shut and her hands trembling. She then watched as the words ugly, useless, pathetic, nothing, and trash where cut into her arms when she shot up in bed.

-LIVING ROOM-

Rachel sighed putting her music just a little bit louder as she let the beautiful music somewhat soothe her aching heart and her busy mind. Her fears and doubts came rushing back to her and fell on her like the electric "OZ" on the wicked witch in the wiz. She sighed once more and looked up at the moon in the night sky. She didn't want to give up but these doubts and the pain was killing her more then she would ever let on to anybody in the house she was living in. She refused to let anymore of her problems slip out. She would bury this because she had to be perfect because that was what was drilled into her head. Because that is what she thought ever time her father had hit her. "If I was perfect this wouldn't be happening to me." And she wouldn't let it be known that she was feeling these things because she couldn't lose this family she had now because if she did she wouldn't be able to live because these where the people she was clinging on to for support and they were her life line and she couldn't bear to put any of this pain or burden on them. She would do what she needed to be perfect and escape the thoughts. She would.

And because she thought this way she would break.

And she would die just a little bit more inside…

Okay so this is like chapter 18 part two. I hope you like it and comment tell me what you think. And for those who were wondering the song from the last chapter was feel the tide (turning) – by Mumford & Sons. I'm obsessed with their music right now so you probably will be seeing their songs more frequently. The songs from this chapter are After the storm – Mumford & Sons and Ghosts that we knew – Mumford & Sons.