Even If It Were Hate
Chapter 4
"No, Hephaistion, it is not necessary for you to stay longer. Everything is already taken care of. Your father had prepared for this day every time he went off to war."
"But mother, you are all alone."
"That is not true. Adrusteia is here with me."
Adrusteia was a servant who had followed his mother from Athens when she married Hephaistion's father. She was about the same age as Hephaistion's mother, and was rather like a sister to her than a servant.
Adrusteia used to tell the story to Hephaistion about how his father and mother had met and fallen in love with each other despite the circumstances. They had met when King Philip and his army subdued Pydna where his mother happened to be visiting her relative with her servant Adrusteia.
"General Amyntor captured the mistress' heart with just one look. He swept her away from the arms of General Antipater. " Adrusteia giggled, and then sighed. "The wedding was so lovely. It looked like almost the union of a god and a goddess. They were the most beautiful and the perfect couple I have known."
Hephaistion remembered that even King Philip had joked about it from time to time when he was in a good mood saying that it was the first and the last time he had seen Amyntor make a move so swiftly on a woman, and Antipater ever lose over a woman.
"Besides, that was not what your father would have wished."
His mother's voice brought Hephaistion back from the reminiscence.
"He was very proud of you when you were selected to be one of the students for Aristotle's school. He wished for you to receive the best education. So go back to Mieza. Do not miss any more school."
"Yes, mother. I understand."
Hephaistion still felt bad leaving so soon, but he could not argue with his mother any further. As if she could read his mind, his mother added.
"Hephaistion, do not worry. I will be all right. I have enough wonderful memories with your father to live through again. And you are not the only one who had received his gifts of letters. He had been writing one for me on our every anniversary. I have a chest full of them. That will keep me going."
His mother blushed like a girl, and Hephaistion smiled at her. He felt the power of his father's love still enveloping his mother beyond the separation of death.
oooOooo
The day after the funeral, Hephaistion went back to school. Although it was hard to deal without having Alexander close, he did better during the day when he could push himself to concentrate on the subjects in the class to distract his mind.
However, it was a different story during the night. His mind played the memories of his father over and over again while painfully reminding him that he could never see his father again. Hephaistion tossed and turned on the bed to find a comfortable position, but it was no use. He could not sleep. The harder he tried, the more alert he became.
Hephaistion lay there for a little longer, but he had finally given up. He got out of the bed, and walked out to the garden, which looked over the stream. He sat on the stone bench while resting one side of his head against the oak tree.
He mindlessly looked over the road beyond the stream. The cool lights from the full moon made the dirt road shine like a silver ribbon. Hephaistion shook his head realizing that he was unconsciously looking for the figure of Alexander. He knew that Alexander would not come back for another day or two, yet his eyes could not help but search for him. How he missed his friend.
The night air was still a bit too cool, but Hephaistion appreciated it. It helped to keep his senses sharp, and somehow saved him from falling into sentiment. Subtle movements of the air made Hephaistion notice somebody approaching from behind. He turned his head to look back.
"Philotas?"
Hephaistion was surprised seeing an unexpected figure.
"I am sorry about your father." Philotas mumbled.
"Thank you."
Hephaistion studied him while answering, as it was not like Philotas to care for others. He had not trusted Philotas since that little incident in Aristotle's class. Although Alexander told him nothing, it was obvious for Hephaistion to see what had happened when he put together Alexander's angry glare toward Philotas, and the burn mark on his jaw.
Philotas moved forward, and stood in front of Hephaistion.
"I understand how you must feel. You and your father were very close."
Hephaistion was caught off guard. He was not prepared for those tender words. He looked down, and bit his lip determined not to cry. He did not want to show his weakness especially in front of Philotas.
"If you would like, talk to me. I can listen."
With this, Philotas sat by Hephaistion, and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. Hephaistion felt a cold shiver of disgust running down his spine. He tried to slide away from Philotas, but there was only a little room where he could move since he was already leaning onto the tree.
"Thank you, but no thank you. I am all right. I would rather like to be alone."
"Are you waiting for your prince? Too bad, he won't come!"
All of a sudden, Philotas became angry with Hephaistion for being rejected. He grabbed Hephaistion by his shoulders, and slammed his head hard against the tree. Before Hephaistion could recover, Philotas yanked him by his ankles until Hephaistion lay flat on his back on the bench. The movement made Hephaistion hit his head again against the stone bench.
"You should have taken my consolation while I was being nice to you."
Hephaistion heard Philotas' sneering voice while making his best effort to stay conscious. He tried to push the pressing body away, but his arms and legs did not obey his brain.
"You shameless low life! Come back yesterday!"
Somebody shouted, and all of a sudden, the weight was lifted from Hephaistion's chest. He could breath again. When he opened his eyes, he found Cassander standing in front of him with his hand extended out to him.
Cassander did not know what exactly made him wake up. It could be the bright light of the full moon that flooded into his room through the window. Or maybe it was the cool night air that crept into his room.
Either way, he woke up in the middle of the night. He tried to go back to sleep, but once he was awake, he was not sleepy any longer.
Without much thought, Cassander left his room, and went outside. The moonlight made it possible for him to see the two figures by the oak tree when he came out to the garden. Judging from the silhouettes, Cassander understood that they were Philotas and Hephaistion.
He thought it was rather unusual to see Philotas talking to Hephaistion so affably. Philotas only approached somebody when he wanted something from the person. Soon he realized Philotas' real intention as he saw Philotas violently push Hephaistion against the tree.
His body moved before his mind could process what was going on. Next time when he noticed, Philotas was already on the ground while looking up at him with a glare of hate.
"You will pay for this! Both of you!"
Philotas left with a parting thrust.
Finally realizing what had just happened, Hephaistion took Cassander's hand, and sat up.
Hephaistion's mind was in mess with grief and shame. He covered his face with his trembling hands.
"Are you going to report …"
Hephaistion's muffled voice trailed off.
"No."
"Thank you." The sigh of relief escaped in the hands.
"I am not doing this for you. I just don't want them to cut our school short if they found out about this scandal. I am doing it for myself."
Cassander was tempted to put his hand on Hephaistion's shoulder, but he hesitated. He knew best that the pity that was coated by gentleness could hurt the troubled heart the most.
The sound of the hoofs of a galloping horse echoed in the silent night air. As soon as he recognized who it was, Hephaistion sprung up on his feet, and hugged Cassander.
"Still, thank you!"
Before Cassander could react, Hephaistion was off running down the path to meet the owner of the horse. Cassander did not have to guess. Alexander must have ridden all day into the night to be able to arrive here so soon.
When Alexander noticed a figure running toward him, he too dismounted and ran. They met half way. Watching the two figures melt into a tight embrace in the silver moonlight, Cassander's heart ached.
Cassander still felt the warmth of Hephaistion's body against his chest, and the soft caress of Hephaistion's hair on his cheek. However, Cassander had not realized why he felt such a bitter sweetness in his heart yet. This was an unfamiliar feeling for Cassander.
TBC