Title: Even If It Were Hate
Chapter 5
It was at the first confrontation with his father that Cassander had, after coming back from Mieza when he noticed the slight shift in power dynamics between him and his father. He did not remember what exactly made his father explode on him, but Antipater was very angry with his son.
"Are you saying that you would not listen to me? How dare you! You should never disobey me. I will teach you a lesson. Turn around! You deserve caning!"
Antipater firmly placed his hands upon Cassander's shoulders in an attempt to make him turn around.
"No! You cannot make me!"
Cassander held his father's burning gaze, and resisted, not giving in even an inch. He pushed back so hard that his father fell backward into a chair with the counter force.
"You cannot punish me just because I hold a different view from yours."
Cassander looked down upon his father, and voiced his opinion decisively. His father's mouth fell open in astonishment, and a tiny tint of fear flashed in his eyes as he finally realized that his son was no longer a small child, but was now an adult who was physically stronger than him.
He shivered when he comprehended that his son was even capable of hurting him if he wanted to.
"Do … Do not let it happen again."
With this, Antipater left the room in a hurry while hiding the awkward embarrassment.
oooOooo
The shifting of power was not happening only in Antipater's household, but in the whole Macedonian court. The first sign was there when Alexander and his friends defeated the Thracian Maedi while Alexander was a regent of Macedon during King Philip's absence. It proved that they were well capable of commanding an organized army.
The next incident was at the battle of Chaeronea. The unit that was led by young Alexander was the one that brought the victory to Macedon. Everybody knew that they could have lost the battle without Alexander's brave and timely move. The young generations were becoming an inevitable force of the kingdom. It was clear that the dawn of a new era was arriving.
Therefore, Cassander did not know if he had decided to take the side of Alexander in order to show his father that he could do whatever he wanted without his father's permission any longer, or if it was just an unavoidable confrontation between the generations of old and new.
Still, the result was the same. The argument between Alexander and Attalus at king Philip's wedding with Eurydice shifted to the confrontation between Alexander and his father.
"Get out of here! You are no longer my son!"
Hearing the slurred voice behind, Alexander turned around and left the banquet with a few of his friends at heel.
"Meet me at the crossroad of the west end of the city right before the dawn."
Alexander told his friends before heading back to his mother's chamber.
Everybody from Mieza met Alexander at the meeting place except Philotas and Harpalus. The former avoided the self-exile by using his father's authority, and the latter with the power of gold.
Hephaistion followed Alexander out of love, Ptolemy with taking a calculated risk, Perdiccas for loyalty to his friends, Nearchus to seek an adventure, and Cassander to prove his independence to his father.
Alexander nodded at the pale faces. Although they were all tired due to lack of sleep, their spirits were high. There was a sense of excitement for freedom and unity among them, but not disappointment or defeat. Their stomachs tickled with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation to the unknown world.
They started the silent journey to the west, to Epirus to be more precise. Alexander had a plan to drop his mother at his uncle's place in Dodona. Although his uncle welcomed them with open arms, Alexander did not have an intention of staying there. After resting for a couple of days, he would leave.
Alexander was not sure where he and his friends would go, but he was certain to prove that they could survive by themselves.
"So, what are we going to do now?"
Nearchus asked innocently while putting down his cup on the table.
"You are welcome to stay as long as you want."
"Thank you uncle Alexander, but I cannot put you in the middle of the conflict between my father and me. I don't want to be the source of trouble."
Alexander's uncle opened his mouth as if to resist, but no words came out of his mouth. His nephew was right. If Alexander stayed here, it could send a false message to King Philip that the prince and his uncle were planning a revolt together.
"How far would you like to go?"
Hephaistion asked looking into Alexander's eyes intensely. Alexander immediately understood the true meaning behind it, and grinned.
"In that case, let's pay a visit to the king of Illyria."
"Illyria? But, it is not the most friendly territory."
Confused Perdiccas protested, but Hephaistion nodded smirking.
"Exactly. The king of Illyria would not deny us if we told him that we were in exile from Pella."
Alexander nodded back to Hephaistion, as he explained to Perdiccas.
"But, what would King Philip think when he found out that you had sought refuge with Illyria."
Perdiccas was still confused.
"If King Philip does not wish to have his son as an enemy, then he would call you back. Right, Alexander?"
Ptolemy stated.
"You are so right, Ptolemy."
"But, Alexander, will the Illyrians really accept us? We defeated them a couple years back."
Still not being convinced, Perdiccas questioned again.
"The Illyrian king has nothing to lose by accepting the prince of Macedon. If he decided to rebel against Macedon, then he has the most powerful bargaining tool."
Hephaistion interjected, and Alexander completed the argument.
"And, if my father decided to make peace with me, then it means that the Illyrian king had sold a favor to the Macedonian king. Now, are you all with me? Should we venture to Illyria?"
"Aye!"
"Yeah, it was getting a little confusing to have two Alexanders if we were to stay here much longer."
Despite the seriousness of the subject, Nearchus' remark drew a relaxed laughter in the group.
As Alexander predicted, the Illyrian king received them as guests. Their hospitality was not lavish, but at least they did not have to worry about finding shelter and food. The life in this mountainous kingdom was rather boring.
They did join the daily basic training of the army to keep their bodies in shape, but they were politely requested not to be a part of it at the training of the real battle simulations. They were guests from a kingdom with a long history of confrontations after all.
However, Cassander doubted if Alexander had not learned anything. When it came to war strategies and tactics, Alexander was so observant. He absorbed all the details so naturally, and nothing had escaped his hawk like sharp eyes.
oooOooo
It was one of those warm spring days. They were all bored. Their young bodies ached looking for some action.
"Ahhh… it's a torture. Birds are singing, and the air is sweet, but we are stuck in the middle of nowhere without a maiden."
"Nearchus, I did not know that you were a poet, but I agree with you. Only if Alexander allowed us to mingle with the girls here in the palace."
Perdiccas looked at Alexander accusingly. Alexander just glared back at him.
"I know, I know. You would like to say that it is not wise, because if we ever broke into war against each other then we would be forced to choose between love and kingdom. But, still."
"Don't pout Perdiccas, I heard that there is a house that serves as a tavern in the town. You can also buy a girl there with a minimum fee."
Ptolemy said as a matter of course.
"What are we doing then, let's go. Are you coming with us Alexander?"
"No, Nearchus. Hephaistion and I are planning to go for a ride."
"I see." Nearchus smirked making Hephaistion to blush.
"How about you, Cassander?" Ptolemy turned to Cassander who had not said a word.
"No, I will stay."
"Oh, you Mister Antisocial, or are you afraid of girls?"
"Cut it out, Nearchus!"
Glaring at Nearchus, Cassander snapped. It was not because he did not want to have fun, but he was opposed to the idea of sleeping around with women. He did not wish to be like his father.
"All right, all right. I was just joking. Let's go."
With this, Nearchus, Ptolemy and Perdiccas left for the agora.
"Would you like to come with us, then, Cassander?"
"No, Alexander. I have to catch up with some correspondence. I haven't written to my father for a while."
Cassander lied. He could tell that Alexander was just asking him from politeness not from his heart. When he saw Alexander's relieved expression, Cassander understood that he was right. He also knew that Alexander and Hephaistion had been seeking to have some privacy.
When the Illyrians took them in, they assigned a great hall as an accommodation for all the Macedonian refugees. Because one, it was easier for the Illyrians to keep an eye on them just in case, and two, the Illyrian kingdom was not as wealthy as the Macedonians'.
After staying in the room for a while, Cassander decided to go for a ride by himself as well. It was a beautiful day after all. It was too gorgeous to be wasted by staying inside. Cassander rode aimlessly while enjoying the tranquil surroundings.
His horse eventually guided him to a stream. The place was beautiful, it reminded him a lot of Mieza. As Cassander came closer to the stream, he noticed that he had company already.
When he saw Alexander and Hephaistion's horses tied to a small olive tree on the other side of the stream, Cassander settled behind the bush to watch them after hiding his horse at the oak tree. Cassander knew that it was not a noble thing to do, but the temptation was too much.
He saw naked Alexander standing in the middle of the stream.
"No, Alexander, I am not coming in. It's too cold."
"Common Hephaistion! It's not too cold. It's just refreshing."
With this, Alexander splashed water at Hephaistion who was lying in the soft grass, propped up on one elbow.
"Alexander!"
Hephaistion stood up, and came running to the edge of the bank. Seeing the chance, Alexander pulled him down into the water. Hephaistion fell into the stream with a big splash.
"Alex …"
Hephaistion's protest was cut off short with Alexander's lips on his mouth. Cassander could not avert his eyes. Wet chiton clung against Hephaistion's lean body while revealing the tight muscles of perfectly round bottom, and the shapely thighs.
"You are right. It is too cold. You are shivering, Hephaistion. Let me warm you up."
Alexander pulled Hephaistion up on the bank. He peeled off Hephaistion's soaked chiton, and wrapped him into his cloak while kissing him passionately. Cassander felt his heart speeding up.
Without breaking a kiss, Alexander pushed Hephaistion down on the grass, and took off the last garment from Hephaistion's body. Everybody knew that Alexander and Hephaistion shared more than a friendship, but they had never shown more than a friendly touch in public.
Cassander gasped for air. His heart was beating so fast that it was hard to breathe. Their bodies moved along with the waves of emerald green grass that was created by the gentle caress of the spring breezes.
It was so beautiful and tender that it almost hurt. When it was over, Cassander was surprised noticing his cheeks were wet with tears. He was not even aware that he was crying. And that moment, Cassander understood why the heartache was, and what the bittersweet feeling was that he felt in Mieza.
Instead of Alexander, he wanted to be the one who gently pushed away the strand of hair out of Hephaistion's face. He wanted to be the one who drew a moan from Hephaistion's mouth by running his palms on Hephaistion's smooth skin. He wanted to be the one who sucked Hephaistion's tender lips into his. He wanted to be the one who felt Hephaistion's heat around him.
Yet, the reality was harsh. It was not him but Alexander whom Hephaistion desired. Cassander smiled to himself cynically. Before he even had a chance to realize that he was in love, his heart had been already broken.
TBC
I'll be taking some time off, but I promise to complete this series. Thank you for your support and understanding.
Jun