It Returns

3

Mulder

I left the apartment and Jane without a backwards glance. I left the building and made my way to a flower store to pick up some flowers; I put the note to Scully from Jane in my pocket. I walked into the shop and went to the Rose Section. I picked up a small card that listed what each colored rose meant and started building my bouquet of flowers. I picked up two yellow roses (friendship), two white roses (trust), to pink roses (affection) and four deep red roses (passion). I was about to pick out another two red roses when something stopped me: a pair of blue roses. Now I know that I may not know much about flowers; but I do know that blue roses are incredibly rare and stand for the impossible. So I grabbed those two to complete my bouquet. Then I grabbed another bouquet of carnations to give her.

I approached the cashier and set both bouquets of flowers down. The woman just looked at me. She rang up both bouquets of flowers and put them in a baggie thing that flowers go in. "Can I get you anything else sir?" she asked. I thought for a minute then answered.

"yes, I would like a bouquet of flowers delivered. I want half of the flowers to mean 'I'm sorry' and the other half to mean 'thank you'."

"I can do that for you, where would you like them delivered and when."

I gave her my answer and told her as soon as possible, I put a fifty dollar bill on the table and asked if she could do it tonight or early tomorrow morning. She took the bill and said that it would be done. Then I paid for the other flowers and left back to my apartment and my car. I drove in silence to Georgetown and Scully.

I arrived at her apartment and saw her car parked outside filled with boxes. I was curious so I went up to her apartment. When I reached her floor I saw that her door was open; so I peeked inside.

What I saw shocked me; she was almost finished packing. Boxes opened and closed were scattered around the floor. And Scully sat where her couch used to be going through the contents of the box in front of her. I knocked lightly on the door; she didn't hear me. I knocked a little harder and still she did not look up. "Scully." I called to her; this time she did look up. When her eyes met mine I saw for a brief moment pure agony mixed with pure love; then it was hidden behind the icy persona that was the 'Ice Queen' Scully was called.

"What are you doing here Mulder?" her voice was flat, emotionless and monotone. I walked into the room and sat down next to her; I noticed that she would not meet my eyes. She stared blankly at the box she was looking at before I came in. Silently I placed the bouquet of carnations in front of her face.

"What are these for Mulder?" she asked me confusion in her voice.

"Don't carnations mean 'get well'?" I asked keeping the roses behind my back and reaching for Jane's note.

"Yes Mulder, they do. But why would you give them to me?" She asked quietly. I wished that she would look me in the eye so I would know what she was thinking.

"Here, let this answer your question." I handed her Jane's note and let her read. For every second that passed I could see a crack forming in her icy façade. When she reached the end tears were pooling unshed in her eyes. She looked up at me.

"Doubtless she said that she told me and that I love you to, but I want to tell you in my own way." I brought out the roses; and pulled the pair of white ones from the bunch.

"White roses mean trust. I trust you with everything Dana." I passed her one of the white roses. She took it and inhaled deeply. "Do you trust me Scully?"

"I told you before Mulder: you're the only one I would risk my career for." I handed her the other white rose before pulling out the yellow roses.

"The yellow rose means friendship. You earned mine by standing by me. You became my best friend." I handed her one of the yellow roses. "Am I your friend Scully?"

"Yes, Mulder you are my best friend and the only one who knows me as well as my father." I handed her the second rose and pulled the pink roses from the bunch.

"They tell me that pink roses mean affection and caring. All my innuendos and little touches were supposed to show that I felt those things for you." Again I passed one of the roses to her. "Do you feel those for me Scully?"

"If I didn't I would have not let you touch me and filed a sexual harassment suit against you Mulder." Again I passed the other rose to her. Now I pulled out two of the red roses.

"Red means passion. However passion to me at least means two things. One meaning is anger. Scully this abandonment of me has pissed me the fuck off and so I think that anger, fury and rage fall into the passion category; even if no one else does." Passing the rose to her I asked this question. "Do I infuriate you Scully?" This time my voice held some of that rage and anger I felt towards her. She smiled slightly before answering.

"All the time Mulder. From your porn collection to your seed habit. And some days more than others. But you said you had two meanings, what's your second?" Silently I handed her the pair and pulled out the next set of red roses.

"The other meaning of passion is lust and love. Scully you turn me on. At first I thought it was just lust, but then you had cancer and I learned that it was love and not lust. Do I turn you on and do you love me in return." I passed her one of the last red roses.

"Yes." She whispered the word so softly I almost didn't hear her. And I passed her the last red rose and pulled the blue ones.

"Now blue roses are incredibly rare and almost impossible to find therefore they represent the impossible. You are also rare, Scully. You are a unique mixture of science and faith; by-the-rules woman and rule breaker. And I love you for it. Even if I married someone else or you died; I would still love you. I would find it impossible to ever, ever stop loving you." I passed her one of the blue roses, and locked eyes with her; my eyes silently asking a question that had no words.

"Mulder I will love you until I take my last breath. It is now impossible for me not to love you." I handed her the last of the roses. She gathered up the rest of the roses and wandered to the kitchen where I followed her. She grabbed a vase that was sitting on the counter with the rest of her kitchen stuff. She placed the roses in the vase and filled it with water. I could see her taking deep breaths before she spoke; then she looked me straight in the eyes and started.

"I don't know where to start Mulder. I had decided that I would tell you that I loved you when I got my results back, I mean when it was confirmed that I was still in remission. But when I found out that a new tumor was growing in the same place that knowing that your sister was dead and that I was dead helping you to search for her, would kill you. Even if you didn't love me the way I loved you. I thought it would be best if I cut myself out of your life while I was still alive; to give you time to adjust before I passed. I should never have done that, because like me, you don't like to be ditched. But I needed you to live.

"Some part of me wanted you to fight me, make me come back. But you respected my wishes, even if they went unspoken, about leaving me alone. I love you Fox Mulder, but know I want to be happy, with you." She looked away after she finished speaking, but not before I saw pure love and need in every line of her face.

Slowly I walked towards her and lifted her face with my hand. I leaned forward and touched my forehead to hers. "Can you ever forgive me the pain and anger I put you through?" My answer was to put the sweetest kiss I could on her lips. I pulled away and told her my answer.

"I already have." And then I kissed her again. This time with a little more passion, she responded and kissed me back. I could have died right then. When we pulled back for air I had one more question for her.

"You said you wanted me to fight for you. How?"

"I wanted you to demand why I was being distant, because I would tell you, I can't lie to you. I can lie for you but not to you. Then I wanted you to tell me that you loved me and push me against the wall and kiss me until I was senseless. Then you would have told me to fight. Fight to stay alive, for you, for us; fight to be with you. And I would have, I still would. "

I gave her what she wanted. I pushed her against the wall and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. I let my tongue trace her lower lip before pushing into her non-resistant mouth and tasting her. She kissed me back and I felt her knees start to buckle. I brought my hands to the back of her thighs and lifted her into the air against me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck.

Finally I needed air, so I pulled back and gulped in air before moving my mouth to her neck. I found a spot near her collarbone that made a moan escape from her lips as she clutched at me. "Senseless yet?" I teased her. She couldn't speak, so she just nodded. I stopped kissing her and just rested my forehead against hers.

"Will you fight for us Scully?" I asked after we had both caught our breath.

"I will always fight Mulder, from now on, I will always fight."