Two. Behind the mask
Three white doves were cuddling on an old iron railing that belonged to a small balcony, their feathers ruffled against the cold February wind. Cooing softly, they closed their eyes, oblivious to the noisy commotion in the streets twenty-three floors beneath their tiny feet.
Hitomi looked up at the dull gray that was spanned over the city of Fanelia like a shroud and sighed. The weather was pressing on her mood and the fact that she was trapped in a hotel room with nothing to do didn't make it exactly better.
The rehearsals for the three concerts the following week would start the next day; concerts without Allen. And one week after, she would have to attend a ball – with her glorious husband. It only meant some more lies and fake smiles, something she was slowly getting used to.
Turning away from the window, she let her gaze sweep across the hotel room, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her sweater. The walls were dark, black predominating in the extraordinaire patterns of the tapestry. Not even the light streaming through the four French windows was able to chase away the darkness that was intensified by the heavy furniture and lifeless carpets. She felt like residing in a huge mausoleum, the white flower arrangements only adding to the morbid atmosphere.
But it hadn't been her choice. Yukari had decided at which hotel she was going to stay.
The young woman tapped a slim finger against her cheek, pondering what to do. Shopping was out of competition for she had been out shopping herself silly the whole morning. The pile of bags beside the door to the bedroom was proof of this spree.
The flute that lay lonely and forgotten on the smooth leather couch also missed to capture her interest, as well as the book beside it. There had to be something for her to do. Her roaming eyes stopped on the telephone and a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Mamoru.
Hitomi almost danced towards the couch and plopped down, sprawling out against the armrest. Her slim fingers fished for the cordless phone and excitedly dialed the number. Across the table, the TV was quietly talking to itself.
It rang two times before a male voice answered, drawling seductively into the receiver. "Gigolos for rent. What can I do for you?"
Hitomi rolled her eyes but couldn't fight down the grin that broke across her lips. "Very funny, Dilandau. Who are you trying to scare off?"
"My mom." A good nine hundred kilometers away, the young man who had answered the call sighed and fell on his bed. "I swear she's gonna suffocate me with all the love, one day. And you're sure you don't wanna rent a gigolo, Hitomi?"
"Absolutely." She grinned. "But you know, gigolo already includes that you rent a guy so you don't need to say it. It makes the whole thing less believable."
He ran a hand through his silvery hair and narrowed his albino red eyes. "Oh, really? Thanks!"
"No problem. But say, is my little brother there by any chance?" Hitomi tucked her legs underneath herself and wedged the cordless receiver between chin and shoulder so she could reach for the remote control.
Turning up the volume a notch, she heard the lasts words of a report about the latest events taking place in Freid. According to the Channel 3 news mag, the youngest duke in the country's history had taken up his duty after the sudden death of his father, the former Duke of Freid.
"Hah, that was a good joke," Dilandau laughed in her ear and she switched off the TV with a roll of her eyes when the topic shifted to her arrival in Fanelia, showing herself surrounded by a bunch of reporters. The screen turned black with a quiet, crackling sound. "Mamoru? Here in his dorm? Keeping his lonely room mate company? You have to be shitting me. No, he's in the library, his second home. No wait, his first."
She bit down a chuckle. He sounded genuinely jealous. "Oh, you poor thing."
"Yeah, poor me." He sighed dramatically. "You know these birdies that start pulling their feathers because they're sick with loneliness? That's gonna happen to me."
Hitomi couldn't restrain the laughter any longer. Fighting down the chuckles, she reached for the grapes that had been placed on the table. "You wouldn't look so bad with a bald head, don't worry. You're going to survive it."
"Yeah, sure," he grumbled. "But seriously, could you tell him that studying all the bloody time is absolutely not healthy? I mean, he's not living anymore! He's turning into some bespectacled zombie who's eating books! Plus, I have to deal with all the ladies on my own!"
She choked on a grape but still managed to gasp, faking surprise. "Mygod, I didn't know you were suffering that hard!"
"Yeah, it's exhausting, you know?!" He put a hand on his heart. "A man does need some rest every once in a while!"
Hitomi pulled a face. "Ugh, Dilandau, I didn't want to know that!"
"I know, that's why I'm telling you." A grin appeared on his features that dared to split his skull. "But well, do I give Mamoru a message or something?"
"No no. Just wanted to know how he is."
Dilandau snorted. "Busy studying for the blasted exams."
"I noticed." She smiled.
"Neglecting his room mate!" He jumped off the bed and pointed an accusing finger at the forsaken desk across the room. "And even his sister! Shame on him!"
"Tell him I called, please." Hitomi ran her fingers over the smooth surface of her flute, rolling it over the couch and watching her image distort with the movements. "And that I love him."
"Aye, will tell him that I love him." Dilandau nodded his head enthusiastically and fished a lighter out of his jeans pocket. "That'll be quite the shocker. Can't wait to see his face. You think he'll scream? Oh, but maybe he'll tell me that he loves me, too! That wouldn't be so good..." He switched the lighter on, again and again and again.
"Bye, Dilandau. And tell me about his reaction to your confession."
He saluted and smacked the lighter against his forehead. "Will do," he muttered and swallowed the curse. "Bye and stay safe!"
"You, too!"
Dilandau wiggled his brows. "You know me." She rolled her eyes and ended the conversation with another bye, sending him a loud kiss at which he laughed.
She had hardly pressed the button to hang up when her fingers already flew over the keys again, dialing the next number. After the conversation with her brother's room mate she felt better. She now knew what she needed; company.
The owner of the cell phone she had called didn't even come to open her mouth for Hitomi was already cheerfully chirping into the receiver. "Heydiho, my bestest best friend in the whole wide world!"
Yukari raised a suspicious brow. "Did you forget to take your pills, Hitomi?"
"Haha, I can hardly contain myself," the green-eyed woman retorted dryly and twisted a strand of honey-coloured hair around her finger.
"What's up, plum pudding?" The redhead narrowed her eyes and rummaged through a pile of documents on her desk.
Hitomi shrugged. "Nothing, just wanted to ask if you've got some time for little old me. You know, go for a coffee or something."
"I'd love to, Hitomi, and you know that." Yukari sat down on her desk, crumpling the papers she had just rummaged through, and sighed. "But I was just about to head out. I only want to give my assistant Van Fanel's cheque so she can send it to him by UPS for he –Can you believe it?- forgot it. And then, I'm gone. I'm sorry. I already promised Amano to help him find a birthday present for his mom. And ya know what? As a reward he's going to take me out to the Escaflowne for dinner! Let it roll over your tongue, Hitomi! The Escaflowne!"
Hitomi's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You're in Pallas? I thought you were here in Fanelia."
Yukari cringed at the other end of the line. "Yah, I came here this morning. I had some things to settle."
She got a disbelieving snort in reply. "I see, you fly all the 800 kilometers for your lovey-dovey boyfriend but I don't matter to you."
"Hitomi..." The redhead rolled her eyes.
"My manager and my lawyer deceiving me behind my back! I'm wounded!"
"Get a grip, 'Tomi." Yukari tilted her head to the side, scanning the thin sheet of paper she was twisting between her fingers.
"Yah yah, I'll survive, don't worry." She waved a hand dismissingly. "But say, this Van Fanel guy. Who is he actually?"
"Suddenly interested?" The redhead cocked a brow and grinned. "He's got those tie-him-to-the-bed good looks. I don't blame you."
"No, that's not what I mean," Hitomi replied angrily and narrowed her eyes. "Apart from the fact that he was late and unfriendly and I didn't like him one bit, I have to admit that he played amazingly."
"I told you he was good."
"No Yukari, not just good." She shook her head vehemently. "I mean totally and completely, breath-takingly and goose bumpishly amazing. I've never heard anybody play that extraordinarily good!"
Yukari chuckled. "Wow, he's really gotten to you. All those new word creations."
"How come he's not known?"
The redhead crossed her legs and inspected her fingernails, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Well, I have to disappoint you but he is known. Or better to say he used to be."
"What do you mean?" Hitomi frowned and put the flute down which she had been twisting in her hand, her curiosity suddenly sparked.
"I mean, he was famous," her friend stated and glanced over her shoulder, the wall of windows that was the skyscraper across the street reflecting the sky. It seemed as if the clouds were kissing the streets. "And I mean really, really famous. They were worshipping the ground he was walking on. He was the discovery, the sensation, the genius. With twelve he played them all, from Bach to Verdi, and people were enchanted whenever he performed. They called him the next Vivaldi."
"And?"
"And suddenly he disappeared." Yukari shrugged.
"Disappeared?" Hitomi echoed and the redhead rolled her eyes, the smile growing.
"Yeah, disappeared," she confirmed airily. "You know, like gone. Vanished. Left. Departed. Not here."
The sandy-blonde muttered something under her breath Yukari couldn't understand, but very well guess. "I know that, thesaurus."
She bit down a chuckle. "He was gone just like that." The snapping of fingers reached Hitomi's ears. "Gone without any explanation; not if it was his decision, because of his family, nothing. Fact is, he simply stopped playing."
Hitomi frowned deeply, popping another grape in her mouth. "Then why did he play that day at the concert?"
"Ya, that's my persuasive magic!" Yukari exclaimed proudly and Hitomi knew her chest was swelling. "Kinda talked him into it. With all the benefit and for kids and all."
"I didn't know you were that unscrupulous."
The redhead shrugged carelessly. "He owed me. And besides, we needed to replace Allen Schezar. We couldn't just take anybody!"
"Why didn't I know all that?" The green eyed woman leaned back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. Someone that good and she hadn't even heard his name before.
"You never asked. He disappeared from the stage six years ago. It was before your time and you weren't exactly interested in things like these."
Was she that unworldly? That she wasn't interested in anything else but herself? "Does it have to be UPS to deliver the cheque?"
"Why do you ask?" Yukari grinned from ear to ear and stopped her assistant who appeared in the door to her office, perfectly plucked brows raised in questioning.
"I'd like to bring him the cheque myself."
Yukari Uchida bit in the back of her hand to stop herself from giggling idiotically. The young woman in the doorframe lifted her shoulders and her boss waved a hand at her, motioning for her to come closer. Clarisse frowned.
"Hmm," Yukari replied and forced down a skull-splitting grin.
Hitomi's green eyes narrowed at once, a tiny little blush creeping upon her cheeks. "Quit that hmm! I don't like that hmm! You only hmm when there is something to imply!"
"It was a completely innocent hmm, simply the noise with which my brain accepted the information," her friend countered matter-of-factly. "I didn't want to imply anything, considering there is nothing to imply, right?"
"I hate you." Hitomi snorted and ripped the front page of the TV guide to pieces. Why did she suddenly feel like a sixteen-year-old? "Can I have the cheque or what?"
"What if I told you that you had to cross the entire continent to bring him the cheque?"
Hitomi rolled her eyes. "I'd call you a liar because I know he's living here in Fanelia."
"How's that?" Yukari's brows rose in surprise and at the other side of the line Hitomi flushed in spite of herself.
"I asked Voris."
"Hmm," was the quiet reply and Hitomi's eyes narrowed, knowing that Yukari was probably grinning from ear to ear.
"Well?" she barked.
"If it means I have to send UPS to your hotel although I could send them just a few blocks down to where he lives just so you have an excuse to see him, so be it." The redhead sighed dramatically. "Whatever makes you happy but Gaddes will accompany you. I'll inform Clarisse about the change of plans. Have fun with the hottie, I'm off shopping."
And with that, she ended the conversation, cutting off Hitomi who had just started to complain about her best friend forgetting about her over some random guy. The redhead put down her cell phone and looked at the innocent sheet of paper in her hand, a thoroughly satisfied smirk spreading across her features.
The gullibly brown-painted door didn't exactly look like it led into the world of a musical genius. To be exact, the entire apartment building didn't look like she had imagined the residence of a prodigy. He must have earned a fortune in his seven years of success. What did he do with all the money? Betting? Drugs? Women?
She knocked.
Great. And what was she going to say? Sorries for being such a bitch at the concert and it would be nice if you could forget it. Oh, and here is your cheque. Thank you for cooperating. That would be real smooth. But why was she worrying about what to say anyways? And why wasn't there anybody answering the door?
"Maybe he's not here," a deep voice cut into her thoughts and she graced her bodyguard with a dry look. Gaddes was casually leaning by the wall beside her, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Maybe he's just deaf." She knocked again. "Hello-hoo, anybody there-here...?"
"If you search Mr. Fanel..."
Her sing-song question ended in a mortified yelp that reverberated from the walls, sounding like a hundred screams.
Swirling around, eyes wide and heart beating a mile a minute, she came to face a short woman who was probably thrice her age, with an apron around her bony waist. Curious pale-blue eyes were trained on her. "If you search Mr. Fanel, he's not here."
Despite the almost-heart-attack she had still to deal with, Hitomi felt the sudden urge to counter, 'Really?'. However, she swallowed the reply. Something about that woman told her she wouldn't be so fond of that kind of sarcasm.
She caught Gaddes's smug look but decided to ignore him. "And...? Do you know where he is?"
"Yeah."
Hitomi was hardly able to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. Why was everybody trying to annoy her out of her skin? First Yukari and now that woman. What was so difficult in articulating some simple words that happened to contain the information of Van Fanel's whereabouts? It wasn't brain surgery or anything!
"Well," she started with exaggerated patience in her voice and a sickeningly sweet smile on her lips. "Would you mind telling me?"
The elderly woman crossed her wrinkled arms in front of her chest and narrowed her eyes what Hitomi interpreted as a bad sign. "Who are you? Are you some stalker? I've heard of your kind on TV..."
"No!" she almost exploded, cheeks on fire. "No, I'm not stalking him! I just..." Wanted to bring him his salary for two nights ago because he forgot it?! Now that sounded a whole lot better. She sighed. "He forgot something."
Small eyes narrowed even more. It couldn't come any worse. Could it? "Are you his girlfriend?"
"No!" Bloody hell! What was it with people lately?
"No, she is not." Gaddes took a step ahead and smiled politely, the elderly woman eyeing him suspiciously.
"Of course." And suddenly there was this little smile dancing around wrinkled lips. "Because if you were his girlfriend, you'd know that he's giving choir classes at Isaac Dornkirk Middle School, right now."
Hitomi blinked. Okay, there were two explanations to this insanity; either she was turning crazy (what her brother had already foretold her with the help of coffee grounds way some time ago and which would finally declare him an oracle) or every-freakin'-body around her was turning completely mad.
She was going for the latter.
Hitomi opened her mouth to reply but closed it right away when she suddenly changed her mind. "Thank you."
"No problem." The woman smiled at her who turned with a curt nod of her head, intending to head down the stairs. "Please, tell him the package he had been waiting for arrived today. I took it from the delivery boy. He can come by to get it when he's back."
Hitomi turned slightly. "Okay."
Eleven kilometers and too much traffic later, she stood in front of Isaac Dornkirk Middle School, colourfully decorated windows smiling down at her. Red bricks were shining unnaturally bright in the light of the low February sun and the snow that had fallen two days ago was piling beside the cleared stairway.
"Thank you, Gaddes," she mumbled. "I know this isn't part of your job."
A warm chuckle sounded from beside her and she looked up into smiling brown eyes. "You're my job." He ran a hand through his dark hair and sighed. "I'll wait here."
Tiny stones that had been scattered across it were crunching under the soles of her boots and when she entered the main hallway she was greeted by silence. Well, almost.
A small smile formed on her lips when she heard children chant and she went to follow the noise, tiptoeing along the hallway, carefully, as if not wanting to disturb the building's peaceful slumber. And like a bee attracted to a deliciously smelling cake, she followed the noise along the hallway, past closed doors and innumerable drawings that covered the walls.
She found the source of the singing around the first corner, an opened door inviting to listen. The clicking of her shoes on the smooth linoleum floor echoed around her, supplying the song with a multiplied metre.
It was a small classroom with all the tables and chairs pushed to the walls, leaving free space in the center. He sat on a chair with a guitar resting on his right knee, fifteen kids surrounding him in a semi-circle. They were singing enthusiastically while his fingers gently struck the strings, auburn eyes watching the young choir attentively. She couldn't help but smile. The only thing missing was the fairy tale book and the picture would be complete.
Quietly, she sat down on one of the chairs aligned at the wall and observed. Fifteen pairs of eyes were trained on him, watching him carefully. Their high voices were melodic in their own childish way and she blinked when a deep baritone suddenly joined in. Raising her brows in surprise, Hitomi shifted her gaze to watch Van support his little apprentices with an impressive voice.
The silence that was following the last tunes of the song was broken by her applause. Fifteen heads plus one turned around.
He looked genuinely surprised. Two days ago, he hadn't looked the slightest bit as if he could be surprised by anything at all. His dark brows were raised and vanished behind unruly strands of jet-black hair that tumbled clumsily into his view. Although she hadn't thought it possible, they seemed even more tousled than at the night of the concert. From out of the shadows between them, auburn eyes were watching her curiously.
"What can I do for you?"
She rose from the chair and smoothed her skirt, feeling his pupils' eyes on her. "Do you have a minute or two?"
Van looked at her a second longer before he turned to his choir. "You were better this time. It was really good." He stressed his words with an approving nod. "I think we call it a day, what do you say?"
There was a whisper and heads turned, surreptitious looks cast over shoulders, fingers pointing secretively at Hitomi.
"Hey?" Van tried to catch the children's attention by waving a hand. "I said you can go..."
They hushed each other before straightening and chorusing, "Till next time, Mr. Fanel."
In a ruffling of clothes and shuffling of feet, the small group started moving. Every pair of eyes was trained on her when they marched past, big round orbs glued to her form. She waved at the little boy who was the last one leaving the room, his luminous green eyes reminding her of her brother. Although Mamoru hadn't looked like such a little angel when he was younger.
"Well?" His voice startled her out of her thoughts and she turned to observe him putting the guitar in a case. He raised one brow at her before leaning the case against the wall.
Why did this whole mission suddenly seem so stupid to her? Why was she nervous? Why could a simple glance make her nervous? She didn't allow him to make her nervous. "You forgot your cheque."
There was a noise close to a strangled laugh escaping his throat and he ran a hand through his hair when he faced her again. "Well then, I'm sorry to tell you that you came all the way for nothing." Hitomi raised a questioning brow. "I didn't forget it."
"You...?"
"I don't want the money." Van looked at his watch, rolling up the sleeve of the thin, white pullover he wore underneath a red, short-sleeved shirt. In contrast to her, he seemed perfectly comfortable and at ease with himself. She frowned when he emptied a box of crayons on a table, placing a sheet of squared paper beside the colourful pile.
"It was a benefit concert after all." He shrugged and glanced at her over his shoulder. "I didn't do it for the money. Give it to the poor and starving children back in Basram as your manager put it so very sympathetically."
She averted her eyes, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry. She usually isn't..." Hitomi trailed off when her eyes caught sight of a little girl who quietly entered the room that very moment and stiffly walked to the table beside Van. Without taking notice of anything around her, she started to rummage through the crayons after sitting down, her pink hair sparkling.
"Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault, was it?" He put a hand on the girl's head and began to softly stroke her hair, rubbing the cat-ears that were peeking out of the pink mob. "Hey, Merle. How have you been?"
The young cat-girl didn't reply and continued to sort the crayons according to colours, her striped tail hanging limply from the chair while she was softly rocking back and forth. Hitomi crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"Look who is here." Van kneeled down beside Merle, focusing his intense eyes solely on her. "Say hello to Ms Kanzaki, Merle."
He tucked a strand of silky pink hair behind her ear and Hitomi couldn't believe his voice could be so soft. And there was a smile on his lips that could have melted any woman's heart if directed at one.
"I know you can hear me. Look at me, Merle." The cat-girl turned her head to face him but her eyes were trained on something at the ceiling only she could see. And suddenly, Hitomi knew.
She had seen this behavior before. She had seen children ignore her. She had seen children display seemingly endless disinterest. She had seen children scream when there was obviously no reason to. It wasn't rudeness. It wasn't because of neglect. It wasn't wrong upbringing by parents. It was autism.
"You're not looking at me," he continued quietly, with an enviable patience. "Do you know who she is? She's the lady you made wait on Saturday night. She was really angry and it would only be right if you apologized, don't you think? Come on, Merle, apologize."
"What?" Hitomi was more than confused.
"Because of her I was late at the concert," Van explained quietly, shifting his gaze to Hitomi without stopping to stroke Merle's cheek. She, however, chose to ignore him and directed her attention back to the squared paper and the crayons. "She had developed some fever during the day and it was quite a fight to first, get her to the doctor and second, to get her to stay with the baby-sitter. It cost me a lot of persuasive power, sweets and a visit to the zoo to convince her to stay. Good you're corrupt, right?" He ruffled her chin-long hair affectionately. "Come, apologize. Do it for me, please."
"So-rry." The words were quiet and clipped, clumsily stumbling across her lips.
"You're not looking at her, Merle," Van chided. "You know it's not polite to not look at people when you talk with them."
Allen hardly ever looked at her when he talked to her. Why she thought of that at the moment, she didn't know.
She only knew that she was feeling like the biggest jerk on the entire planet right then. It had been unfair to yell at him for being late without asking for the reason. And she felt like a complete bitch for knowing that she wouldn't have accepted the reason for his lateness even if he had told her. She felt like an old bag who was frustrated with herself for loading him with Allen's and her dirty linen. She felt misplaced and rather superfluous right there in the classroom, watching these two strangers interact so intimately.
She had never felt so ignorant.
"It's okay." Who was she to expect an apology? It was more like she had taken a lollipop away from the girl and was now waiting for her to apologize for crying.
A light cough interrupted her thoughts and she found Van looking at her, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. "Well, I'm usually not the one to kick people out but we have to leave now. We have a packed schedule, you know. And sorry again because of the cheque."
Hitomi blinked. He didn't just apologize, did he? "No, it's alright." She looked around. "I better leave, too." My empty hotel room is waiting for me. She couldn't make loneliness wait, could she?
She shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other when he whispered something in Merle's ear, all the while smiling this incredible smile which was the reason why she envied the autistic girl. She couldn't recall ever having received anything that precious.
He swiftly rose and reached for his jacket that was slung over a chair, the cat-girl sliding stiffly off her seat. Taking her hand, he looked up to face Hitomi, unruly strands falling into his eyes. "We wanted to go to the park to feed the ducks and Merle was asking if you maybe wanted to join us."
Hitomi frowned. "You do know that the lake is frozen, don't you?"
"Let that be my problem," he told her and his eyes sparkled in amusement. "I was asking if you wanted to join us."
Her family and friends were almost thousand kilometers away in Asturia. Yukari was out on a date. Even her husband probably had a date. There was nobody waiting for her, nobody missing her. "I'd like that, thank you."
The sky had cleared a bit, a pale sun twinkling through the clouds where an icy wind had torn them. Fine snow dust was blown across the white paths that crossed the park, making Hitomi snuggle deeper into her scarf.
She was listening to the snow crunching softly under her boots and the ones of the three people walking beside her.
"Can I ask you a question?" she finally broke the silence that had accompanied them all the way to the park like a stray dog, and glanced at Van. He was leading Merle by the hand and tilted his head slightly to the side to watch Hitomi, eyes dancing curiously. "I mean, you played fantastically on the violin. And Yukari told me that you are a genius. A virtuoso, a magician with the violin."
"I am?" He turned away and she noticed his lips twitching faintly.
Hitomi bit her lip and stared at the tips of her boots where snow was gathering. "Why did you stop playing? You could have had an unparalleled career. You could have seen the world. You could have played with the best. Why did you stop?"
"I didn't stop playing." She caught the unreadable look in his auburn orbs when he glanced at her and frowned. "Life is full of surprises, you know. Merle was my box of chocolate candy."
His eyes were smiling down at the little girl who was trotting loyally at his side. She had turned her head up to the sky, refusing to take notice of her surroundings, not willing to deal with the world. "I know the possibilities I've had but what would have happened to Merle? I was nineteen and my entire life was suddenly turned completely upside down."
"But..." She trailed off and looked up at him, delicate brows knitted in a frown that resembled a hundred questions swirling through her mind.
"You don't understand that, do you? You've never been at a point where you had to decide, right? You've probably had a perfect childhood. With all the opportunities given to you on a silver plate. Without any obstacles." Glancing at her out of the corners of his eyes, Van saw a bitter smile twist her lips and knew he had once again spoken without thinking. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I've always admired people who stood to their opinion and I've always despised those who didn't." Hitomi sighed and hugged herself tighter, watching her breath gather in front of her face in a white cloud. "But you're right. I never had to decide between my music and my family. Not even between my music and my husband." She gave an emotionless laugh. "And look where it got me."
"Why did you actually come?"
Her head snapped up at his unexpected words and pure bewilderment occupied her features. "Pardon?"
"As far as I know, Hitomi Kanzaki doesn't deliver cheques," Van replied matter-of-factly and stopped when he reached the shore of a lake, snow merging into ice at his feet. Leaning down, he whispered something in Merle's ear and the cat-girl nodded absently at a tree.
"So, that's the reason why you asked me to join you." Hitomi huffed and frowned when he took Merle under the arms and carefully entered the frozen surface of the lake. "What are you doing?"
"As I said, going to feed the ducks," he explained patiently like she was slow on the uptake and nodded his head at the center of the lake where the water wasn't frozen and a flock of ducks was lazily drifting.
She frowned. "In case you cannot read but the sign over here is saying that it's forbidden to enter the ice."
Van rolled his eyes at her and continued to slide on the ice towards the ducks. "Thanks for telling me, mom."
Hitomi grumbled and looked at Gaddes who simply shrugged at her, before staggering across the ice to catch up with Van. It was cracking ominously beneath her feet and she raised a wary brow at him. "You sure this is safe?"
"Why, do you mind a little bath?" She scowled at his back when he bent down and set Merle back on her feet. "Don't worry. Yesterday, I was here and I didn't go swimming."
Pulling a plastic bag out of the pocket of his black coat, he glanced at her and hid a smile when she began to check the ice with one foot, honey-coloured strands tumbling into her view. She didn't look exactly comfortable.
He took a few crumbs of bread out of the bag and pressed them in Merle's little hand. She threw them carelessly away and the ducks started to fight noisily over the food, water splashing and brown feathers dancing on the waves. The girl didn't seem to care for she had craned her neck, looking at a spot somewhere far far away, somewhere in her own world.
"Your bodyguard?" Van's soft voice suddenly invaded Hitomi's thoughts and she turned around to where he nodded his head.
"Hmm," she nodded and shuffled her foot over the ice. "It's been alright with the press until October but then they seemed to flock as if they were preparing to head for the south. Unfortunately, they didn't. The paparazzi can scent that something is going on."
Merle threw some more bread. "But this isn't answering my question," Hitomi said after a moment of silence and Van raised a confused brow at her. "Why did you ask me to join you?"
Two ducks erupted into a noisy fight about some bread when he spoke. "I wanted to give you a chance to lift whatever weight is pressing down on you." She narrowed her eyes at his cryptic reply. "You don't smile."
"Do you want to imply I look sad?"
He turned to face the lake and threw a handful of bread himself, watching absently when innumerable beaks dove for them. "That's what you said. I didn't want to imply anything. But this doesn't answer my question of why you came."
She sighed and reached up to fish for something from within the depths of her coat. Sunlight broke on the smooth surface of the tear-shaped gem she was wearing on a chain around her neck. "I wanted to apologize," she said quietly, twisting the gem between her fingers, and he cast her a confused look. "I was angry at myself and I let it out on you. I didn't mean to be so bitchy. And thanks for not going straight to the press with everything I told you. They would have loved to tear me to pieces."
"Pink tear." Van closed his mouth and stared in surprise at Merle who had wriggled past him and was now standing right in front of Hitomi. Her head was turned away but he knew exactly that she was observing. "Pink tear."
"She likes your pendant," he informed Hitomi and pointed at the gem. "She's fascinated by colours. "
Hitomi looked from Van to Merle and her eyes were smiling when she unclasped the chain. A gentle hand, however, stopped her when she was about to hand her pendant to the cat-girl. "Let me do it, please. She's not used to strangers touching her."
She studied his face closely when he leaned down, his eyes dancing. "I was at your apartment before I came to the school and that dragon watching your door told me to tell you that the package you were waiting for had arrived."
Kneeling on the ice, he raised his eyes at her and she felt slightly self-conscious under the intensity of his gaze. "Dragon?"
"You know, this woman living next door who thought I was a stalker."
He gave a laugh. "Oh! I almost forgot it! And I have been waiting for the bloody CD for so long. Sometimes there is just so much on my mind that I wouldn't be surprised if I left my head at home, one day."
Hitomi stuffed her hands in the pockets of her coat and turned her head to watch Merle play with the gem, pink hair sparkling in the sunlight. "Where is her mother?" By the moment the words had left her lips, Hitomi wanted to reach out and grab them so to stuff them back into her loose mouth and lock it.
Her head sunk between her shoulders in mortification and she crossed her fingers, hoping he had not heard her.
"She died in childbirth."
"I'm sorry." She pulled the scarf from her mouth and looked out at the frozen lake. "It must be hard as a single parent."
There was a brief silence in which the wind chased diamond dust across the ice and utter confusion flashed across Van's features. And only the blink of an eye later, deep and loud laughter echoed into the winter sky, scaring off some ducks that had neared the ice in hopes of getting more food.
Hitomi swirled around only to find him sitting on the ice, roaring with laughter. It was pleasant to watch. Merle stood calmly beside him, engrossed in studying Hitomi's pendant, seemingly oblivious to everything around her.
"What's so funny?"
Straightening slightly, he placed his hands on his knees and looked up at her, auburn eyes twinkling through tousled strands of jet-black hair. She felt her insides churn at the smile that lazily stretched across his lips, like a lion awakening and yawning into the sun.
"You think I'm the father?" She blinked at him and felt a flush creep onto her cheeks. Was he teasing her?
"Because I'm not." Van tilted his head to the side, his eyes not leaving her face for a second, and Hitomi felt like she was pinned to a wall, unable to escape. "Merle is my half-sister."
She felt foolish beyond words and wished the ice beneath her feet would just break so the lake could swallow her. It would be so much easier then.
Hitomi wasn't exactly able to summon a mayor rising of temperature that would break ten inches of ice with her death wish but the ringing of her cell phone – which was just as welcome.
"Hey, sis!" the deep voice of a young man chirped in her ear when she pushed the key to answer the call and she grinned broadly. Mamoru, her knight in shining armor came to rescue her from further embarrassment.
"Hey yourself, favourite brother," she replied in a sing-song voice and caught Van's gaze still on her.
"I'm your only brother," Mamoru deadpanned and Hitomi averted her eyes from the man at her feet.
"What's up?"
The young man ran a hand through his dark hair and let his gaze wander across the noisy campus, propping his elbow against the pay phone beside the cafeteria. "I got Dilandau's declaration of love."
Hitomi bit down on her lip to not burst out laughing. "Heard you're in Fanelia right now. My college is not too far away and I wanted to ask if you'd maybe like to meet halfway and go for a coffee or something."
She faked a gasp. "What?! You're in the middle of your exams and you really want to sacrifice an afternoon for your humble sister? Who are you and what did you do to my brother?"
"Haha. But don't tell Dilandau." Mamoru cast a wary glance over his shoulder, his green eyes twinkling mischievously. "Well?"
"I'd love to." Hitomi couldn't stop grinning. She hadn't spoken with her brother for so long, let alone seen him. He was studying aeronautics and space technology at the Fanelia University of Technology, she was traveling the world. It was mostly the case that when one of them had time, the other one was busy. She hadn't even seen him on Christmas.
"Great." The grin on Mamoru's face mirrored the one of his sister but it merged into a frown when there was a familiar hooting in his ear. "Uh-oh. I'm running out of money here. Will get some more coins and call you back in a few minutes. Bye!" And the connection was cut.
"Bye." She grinned and shook her head.
"You're leaving?"
Her head snapped up at his voice and she nodded. While she had been talking to her brother, Van had picked himself up and was now dusting the snow off of his coat. She caught herself staring at him. "Thanks."
"What for?" He raised a questioning brow at her.
She shrugged. "Just felt like saying it." Her fingers tightened around the crumpled sheet of paper in the pocket of her jacket before pulling it out.
"Donate it," he said and smiled at her, his hand resting on Merle's head.
She tucked it back in her pocket and stared at her feet. "Alright. I have to go, Mr. Fanel."
Van chuckled. "Good luck with the performance, Ms. Kanzaki."
Hitomi snorted and drew patterns in the thin layer of snow with the tip of her boot. "You should wish Allen good luck for he can call himself lucky when I don't rip his head straight off."
She averted her eyes from his face and looked at the ducks that were drifting lazily on the lake again, their eyes closed and a gentle breeze ruffling their feathers.
Why was she still there?
"Well, I have to go." She resolutely put her hands in the pockets of her jacket and nodded at Van who returned the gesture with a casual wave of his hand. Hesitating a moment longer, Hitomi finally turned away and left them both on the ice, not knowing what to make of the nagging feeling of disappointment inside her.
When she reached Gaddes who had waited at the shore she could still feel Van's eyes burning in her back.