A/N
First of all, thank you so much to everyone who is reading this and reviewing, it means the world. Second of all, sorry for not updating sooner. Last few weeks have been very busy but I finally managed to write another chapter. I hope this explains some of the stuff that is going on in the story and I hope you guys are still interested in this story.
Chapter 6 "White blank page"
To say the whole situation was awkward would be an understatement. Dean was still on the floor, eyeing Castiel with relief now that the excruciating pain had stopped. Sam looked at the two of them with confusion and cleared his throat. "Really, what is going on?" He said again.
He looked at Cas for an explanation but the angel was too busy looking at Dean with a mixture of shock and…adoration. Sam turned to Bobby, but the older hunter just shrugged his shoulders. "What are ya looking at me for? I don't have a clue."
Suddenly Castiel seemed to come to his senses again and gracefully he stood upright. Without saying one word, he slowly walked to the corner of the room while Dean, Bobby and Sam looked at him curiously. The closer Cas came to the corner, the more distressed the look on his face became, a look mirrored on Dean's face.
Castiel stood still in the corner, his breathing had become heavier and he protectively had brought his hands to his chest. Dean made a low grunting noise, finally understanding what Castiel was doing. "Stop it Cas, we get it. Now come back over here," he said through clenched teeth. Castiel slowly nodded and made his way back to Dean, both sharply exhaling when they were close to each other again.
"Get what?" Sam demanded, he still had no clue what was going on and he wanted to know what was causing his brother to be in pain. "It seems.." Castiel began, "that whenever I am apart from Dean…I experience a physical pain. But when I am close to Dean that pain is replaced by a pleasant feeling." "Exceedingly more pleasant than I usually get" he added casually after a little pause.
Dean stared at him with his mouth open, trying to figure out if he had heard those last words correctly. Sam and Bobby now turned his attention to Dean. "What about you Dean?" Bobby asked, not sure what to think of Cas' words. "Well…yeah, for me a well" Dean replied while looking at the ground. "I mean, it started when I woke up a few minutes ago. I don't know what is going on either but it sucks" he said in annoyed tone.
Castiel dropped his eyes, of course Dean would hate this situation. After all, Dean didn't want to be close to him, not like he himself did. All was quiet in the room, everyone was lost in their own thoughts until Castiel spoke again.
"When I left earlier, I went to White-Russia to…calm myself. As soon as I arrived there the pain was incapable to cope with. It was nothing like I had ever experienced. I am an angel, I do not normally experience physical pain, not like this. It is very unsettling." "It's not like I'm used to this either Cas." Dean snapped at him, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. The burning sensation constantly urging Dean to touch Castiel, to be as close to him as possible, did not help the situation much either.
Castiel felt anger rising but before he could act on it, Bobby spoke, his eyes bright as if he just understood something. "Hang on, I think I know what is going on. All this started after the Bacchae attacked right?" Both Castiel and Dean nodded. "I think I read something about those damn witches, Wait, let me show ya."
They all followed Bobby to his desk, that was completely covered in books. Bobby shoved aside some of them until he found what he was looking for. He opened an old, frayed book somewhere in the middle at the section that said in an ancient handwriting 'Vis Bacchae'. "Those feelings you two described, the uhm.. well, need to be close to each other. I think we're dealing with this spell." Bobby pointed at a small paragraph on the yellowed page labeled 'voluptates'.
"Desire?" Sam asked incredulous but with amusement. Dean shot a nervous glance at Castiel when Bobby continued. "Yeah, well, it says here that there are these myths of Bacchae placing spells of desire on their victims. That way, their blood becomes tasty to them. After chasing after desire for so long, it is the only way they can still feel it. They let their victims stew for a little while and when the spell has completely taken them over, the Bacchae come for them and suck their blood."
"So that is why the bodies were completely drained of blood?" Sam said understandingly. "Does it say how long it takes before the Bacchae come looking for you after they placed the spell on you?" He asked while looking over Bobby's shoulder. "Apparently two to three days" the older hunter replied.
"Great. So I got what? Two days before some old witch comes after me to drink my blood. All the while I get tortured by these damn feelings? This is just perfect." Dean said angrily. Sam could see his brother was about to lose it. Getting tortured by demos and angry spirits Dean could take, but having a physical attraction to Castiel, being unable to not show it, that was about as worse as it could get.
"Don't worry, we'll get to that witch before she can get to you. We'll figure it out, promise." Sam said reassuringly, trying to calm his brother but Dean just shook his head and walked out of the room. He halted at the kitchen when he noticed Castiel had instinctively followed him, to prevent the pain from coming back.
"What are you doing" Dean shouted at him while turning around. "I… I do not know" Castiel answered truthfully, gazing in Dean's eyes as he spoke. Dean averted his eyes, being overwhelmed by the blue colour in the eyes before him. He was not handling this situation well at all. "Well, stop it! You are not making this any easier alright?" Castiel tilted his head in the way only he could and damn it, Dean had to admit it looked adorable. Mentally he cursed himself, calling Castiel adorable, even in his head, was not something he would ever do… but he just had.
"What am I doing to make this worse Dean?" Castiel asked genuinely. "Just…. Never mind alright?" Dean snapped, still not looking at Cas directly. "You always portray this type of behavior" Cas said thoughtfully. "What behavior?" Dean said, clearly getting irritated. "Like in the hotel room a few days ago, you couldn't…." But Castiel couldn't finish his sentence because Dean interrupted him. "I don't know what the hell you were about to say, but there is absolutely nothing to talk about. Nothing happened at all, apart from you acting like a moron."
Castiel flinched ever so slightly, but not long enough for Dean to have noticed it. He recollected himself almost immediately, and continued to stare at Dean. "No. I will not drop this. I may just be an angel with almost no experience of what it is like to feel like this, to feel human, but in the hotel room… I could have sworn…." Castiel paused for the briefest time, his eyes locking with Dean's, "I could have sworn…something was there." He looked at the ground, confused by his own words. "I am sorry, I do not know another way to put it."
Dean was taken aback by his words, never before had Castiel spoke so openly to him. Dean did register how vulnerable the angel must feel right now and Cas was looking very nervously at him. Although Cas' words surprised him, Dean reacted almost immediately but as soon as he said the words, he wish he hadn't. "For the last time you overgrown drama-queen, nothing was going on, and nothing will be. So how about you just stop whining to me about your feelings alright?"
The feeling inside him buzzed unhappily at his words, and even without that feeling telling him that, he knew he made a mistake. Castiel gave him one last look before stepping back, a stoic look on his face that Dean knew so well from when they had only just known each other a short time.
"I believe I was mistaken in my assumptions. I shall not mention it again. I am going to Bobby and Sam now to help them with their research. Hopefully we can put an end to this … unfortunate situation soon." Castiel slowly walked back to Bobby's desk, Dean following him but maintaining quite a bit of distance.
Dean felt terrible, he didn't know where his words had come from, but it was too late to take them back. He just couldn't deal with all this right now, not with his head swirling with confusing thoughts and that damn feeling taking over his head. He took a deep breath and picked up one of the books on the desk and started reading, his mind not registering a single word.
A/N
Sorry, this story had to take this turn. Just bear with me on this one. I do have it planned out. I am actually really quite nervous/interested in what you guys think of this chapter, now you know (sort of) what is going on with Dean & Cas. Love it? Hate it? Any suggestions/remarks? Please let me know!