Chapter 8

"How soon is now?"

Castiel was close to falling asleep in the now dark room when he could hear Dean getting up from the couch, and just a moment later he was at his bedside.

Cas reluctantly opened his eyes, but as soon as he had, his breath hitched in his throat as he took in the sight before him. Dean Winchester stood next to his bed, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxer. And his hair was tussled from the many times he had tossed on the couch, attempting to sleep.

It took Cas a few deep breaths to compose himself, but after he had, he asked in a low tone

"What do you want Dean?"

He was not feeling up for another discussion, he was done for the day with trying to make the hunter understand, to make him admit something was actually there between them.

He could see Dean hesitating, he was biting his lip and he looked uncharacteristically nervous. Cas suddenly realized Dean was not sure what he was doing right now at all, which in return made him feel nervous as well.

"Look Cas…" Dean began, shuffling his feet to postpone continuing. "I have been thinking" he said after a little while.

"Dangerous activity." Cas couldn't help but mutter. He was feeling weary, his eyes were heavy and he just wished Dean would stop talking. Dean looked at him, unhappy by his non-cooperative attitude.

"I'm sorry for my behavior this afternoon, all right? This whole curse-thing, it has taken a toll on us all. I mean, it's pretty messed up." He said hastily, as he fixed his eyes on the ground.

Castiel closed his eyes, he had been right. He did not want to hear this. How it was all the curse, how Dean liked him as a person that was something useful to him and nothing more. How they never would be anything more. He knew it all already, that didn't mean he wanted to hear it all over again.

Cas was feeling tired, and even worse: he felt human. The burning sensation in his chest had not subsided, if anything it had become worse. And now with Dean standing so close, looking so annoyingly adorable in his dark t-shirt and boxer, the feeling was urging him to reach out and touch Dean. And he wanted desperately to give in to the feeling, to let all thoughts go and irrationally hoping everything would turn out alright somehow. But he didn't, he had tried to reach out before, and he wasn't prepared to get shut down again.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Dean was still standing at his bed, struggling to come up with what he should say.

"I just don't think we should make this any harder than it already is, you know. So how about you scoot over?" Dean blurted out the words and placed a knew on Cas' bed, to make his intentions clear.

Castiel looked at him, shocked, and he could feel heat rising to his cheeks. Dean seemed to caught on to his thoughts and quickly explained. "Just to sleep together. Wait.. I mean, sleeping as in sleep, nothing more." Dean had flushed the same colour red as Cas as he stumbled over his words.

"I don't quite understand, I believe." Castiel said, desperately trying to make sense of Dean's behavior. He would always say one thing while his actions begged the difference. It would be enough to drive anyone crazy, even more so for Cas, who already had a tough time reading humans.

"We're both tired as hell" Dean began, "we need our rest, And I can't seem to sleep with you only eight feet away. This feeling… it is driving me crazy."
Castiel just gazed intently in Dean's eyes, trying to gauge the other man's intentions, making Dean shuffle uncomfortably.

"I am not sure, I am still mad at you." Castiel replied, but he could hear himself giving in and the words hadn't come out nearly as convincing as he had intended.

Dean noticed his changed tone straight away, and even grinned involuntarily a bit as he spoke. "Alright, but do you think you can be mad at me, while allowing us both to get some rest?"

Castiel realized at that moment he would most probably regret this in the morning, if he allowed himself to give in right now. But he was tired of constantly having to fight his feelings, so much more difficult with the spell right now. He decided he would allow himself this one night. He would allow himself to finally discover what it would be like, to be close to Dean, even if it wasn't based on true feelings, on Dean's part anyway.

It was better after all, he argued, to know what it would be like, than forever staying in the dark.

Slowly he nodded yes, and very thoughtfully he pressed his back against the wall, making as much room for Dean as he possibly could. Just as slowly, Dean laid the couch cushion he had been stuffing under his arm, next to Cas' pillow. Both of them looked at each other awkwardly, as Dean tried to find a comfortable place in the small bed.

After some fidgeting with the covers, Dean laid down, pulling the blankets over him and Cas in the process. It felt weirdly intimate, lying with Cas like this, Dean realized, and yet it also felt oddly comfortable too, from the moment his head had hit the cushion.

Cas noticed that the pulling sensation he had felt from the moment he had regained consciousness, had now transformed in this contently buzzing feeling that made him even more sleepy. Yet Castiel could also feel the tension, both from somehow still not being quite close enough to Dean, and from the weight of their unresolved argument of that afternoon hang between them.

He hesitated a little while before speaking, not wanting to ruin the moment but he also knew they did have things to talk about.

"Dean, about this afternoon.." he began, but he got no chance to continue.

Dean had turned on his side and had cut his words short by placing his hand over the angel's mouth.

"Just.., Cas.." he said hoarsely, "no more arguing tonight, please"

With Dean's hand still on his lips, Cas nodded. Dean's pleading words had taken away every last shred of wanting to sort things out right this instant. All he wanted right now, was this moment, of lying next to Dean.

Suddenly he was very aware of Dean's touch, pleasant warmth surging through his entire system. He looked up at Dean, sure he was feeling the same. Dean gazed back, fingers trembling as he cupped Cas' entire cheek. The clouding feeling was definitely back and all Cas had room for in his head, was how he never wanted for this feeling to go away.

Cas leaned in to Dean's touch and encouraged, Dean moved his other hand to gently grab Cas' shoulder, pulling on it slightly, to make Cas move closer. Castiel happily obliged, their eyes staying locked as they moved impossible close together, legs and chests touching. The eye-contact only intensified the mutually shared warming feeling.

There was no urgency in their touches, no more tension left, all Castiel felt was this numbing happiness as Dean traced little circles on his back with his hand. There was no room for words, or even thoughts, both being scared to ruin this moment of peace. All Dean and Cas cared for was right now, and how right it all felt.

Dean moved one of his hands in Cas' hair, holding him close. Castiel shared one last look with Dean as he buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck, gently nuzzling the sensitive skin. Dean let out a sigh of approval, eyes closing in the process. Castiel too, fought to stay awake, wanting to relish in this moment for as long as he could, but Dean's body warmth made him even more sleepy.

Just before falling asleep Cas realized he would most probably regret this in the morning, when reality would come crashing down again. But as for now, he didn't think there was a better feeling than falling asleep while Dean was wrapped around him.

"So you're not gonna tell 'em?" Bobby asked Sam. The two of them were still downstairs, working through an enormous pile of books in an attempt to figure out a way to save Dean and Cas.

"Are you kidding me? I don't think Dean would have survived that." Sam said with a scoff. "No, let them figure this one out, no way I am getting in the middle of this."

Bobby nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, it's probably better we don't tell them that Bacchae can't place a spell of desire on two random people. That they can only amplify something that is already there."

A/N

Alright, this was one of the scenes I had in mind from the moment I started writing chapter 2 of this fanfiction. In my head it was better but ah well… Please review to let me know what you thought of this chapter? I tried to write in character as much as possible, not sure if I succeeded in that. + Reviews always make me more inclined to update faster.