A/N: Sorry for the wait. Honestly, six weeks is sort of unacceptable. Or it would be, but in my defense, I've had semester finals and they were spaced out so badly that I didn't really have much time off, and so I didn't get into the spirit. That said, half of this chapter was written on the day after my last final :p.
I'm rambling. I hope you can forgive me for the wait, and I promise I won't take another six weeks for the next chapter. In fact, I've already started writing, plus I have a working outline (at least for that chapter), so things are looking good on that front.
The obligatory: I do not own Castle. Or Beckett. If I did, I'd keep them locked up in my basement until they'd finally come to their senses.
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
They had just settled down at the kitchen island with fresh coffee when the clatter of keys resounded from the door, followed by an apparently exhausted Alexis being hustled inside by a seemingly tireless Martha.
"Richard, darling, we're home," came his mother's voice, announcing the obvious.
Castle got up and ambled over to greet his family, wrapping his daughter in a hug while pecking his mother on the cheek.
"Am I going to be shocked by the bill?" he asked lightly, his usual smile coming easily, as if the past few hours hadn't happened.
"Oh, never mind the bill," Martha said, waving him off, then spotting Beckett still sitting at the island. "Kate, darling," she called, "what do we owe the pleasure of your presence to?"
Castle jumped in before she had a chance to answer, "It's about the case, mother."
The case. Not a case. Not our case, as in "our current case".
Martha froze between Castle and Beckett.
Beckett shot glances from Castle to Martha and back.
Alexis perked up in her dad's embrace, pulling back a little to look up at him.
Castle swallowed.
"The case, dad?" the young redhead asked.
He was amazed at how fast the two caught onto it. Just a single word, "the" instead of "a". And they knew. Maybe it had been something in the way he'd said it, but it was clear to him that they'd gotten the right idea. Backing out would be nearly impossible now, and he knew that he couldn't do it even if he wanted to. Because everything had changed now, they were probably going to get back on track, and were most definitely heading for the heart of danger.
Martha turned, addressing her son, "You told her?"
"Yes, he told me," Beckett said, her voice calm and even. Must be the coffee, she thought to herself, before continuing, "He told me about the man that called him, and why he kept me away from the case… And–"
"And that I kept investigating," Castle finished for her, drawing Martha's focus back to him.
His mother's expression was a mixture of astonishment, a bit of fear and a great deal of worry. "And you're still here," she said, turning back to Beckett, the implicit "Why?" flowing on the tone of her voice. "And you haven't killed him either. Well, that certainly looks better than I would've expected."
"Kill him," retorted Beckett.
"Not kill him kill him," the older woman replied, slightly exasperated, "but I would have expected to see a few marks of a heated argument…and not you sitting here sipping coffee, like nothing happened."
"Well, uhm…," she fumbled for the right words, letting out a relieved sigh when Castle came to her rescue.
"We talked about it, and worked it out. Like grown-ups," he added, throwing a pointed look at his mother.
"Now that's a new one," Martha replied, and he thought he detected a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Anyway, I'm glad you did it without tearing anything down. Now, I think we should leave you two alone, there are a lot of purchases to be sorted and stowed away…"
She and Alexis, who had picked up a mound of shopping bags after leaving her dad's embrace, had reached the stairs when he called them back, meeting their curious stares as they turned around.
"What is it, dad?" Alexis asked.
"It's… There's…" He stumbled, not quite sure how to put this delicately, how to tell them what they needed to know while at the same time not telling them too much.
"A murder victim was found today," Beckett cut in, creating a pause by taking a swig from her mug, "Castle recognized him, and then he–"
"I was pretty much in shock, as you might imagine, so I went home to get my bearings and think things through before I called Beckett and asked her to come here. And then I told her."
"Yes?" Alexis prompted.
"This victim," Castle continued, having found the words, "is connected to the case. I only have a theory about the hows and whys, but I'm pretty sure that he's a part of the scheme."
He paused, looking gravely at his family, their faces radiating concern and worry. "This means," he went on, "that we're going to have to touch the case again. There's no getting around it. And that…is going to be dangerous. Very dangerous."
"Dad, wh–"
"Listen, Alexis, Mother, I want you to leave town for a few days. Maybe go up to the Hamptons, or… I don't know, just out of here. Until it's safe again."
"Dad! What about you?" Alexis shouted, the vibration in her voice betraying her fear. "We're not gonna leave you here, w–"
"Yes, you are. I can't go, you know that. Kate's my partner, and this is as much my fight as it's hers… I'm sorry sweetheart, but that's the way it is," Castle said, silently praying for her to understand him, to give in just this time.
"Nonsense, Richard," said Martha, her voice slightly quavering. She quickly regained her calm though, and continued, "If this man is as powerful as you suspect, then there won't be a place safe enough. How hard do you think it would be for him to find out that you own a house in the Hamptons? And say we took a plane somewhere else, he could probably find that out too in just a minute.
"You're right, there's no going around this. In fact, there's no running from this either. From him. Not for you, or any of us."
Castle turned to Beckett, imploring her with his eyes to help him convince them. But she just slightly shook her head before she spoke, "She has a point, Castle. A good one, actually. If he wants to find someone, he will. I'm certain of that."
"But–"
"Castle, think about it for a moment. If, only if, he were to try and get at them, wouldn't you want to be in a position where you could do something about it?"
"I… Kate, don't say… don't say that, please…," he almost choked out, fear now the only thing left on his face.
"Rick," she said softly, getting up and closing the distance between them in a few sure strides, putting her hands on his arms as she reached him, "I'm not saying it will happen. You know that we'll do everything we can to prevent it. We'll get a protective detail here… And you can board up the windows if it makes you feel better," she added, the hint of a smirk gracing her lips.
"You really think you can convince Gates to spare the people…"
"My mum taught me how to argue, and she was a lawyer. Trust me, I know which buttons I have to press."
He lifted his hands and curled his fingers around her elbows, closing his eyes while taking a deep breath. When he opened them again, the spark was back, dancing there in the blue, ready to start a blaze. The smirk that crawled onto his features gave her the chills, as there was no humor in it. The look in his eyes, the line of his jaw and the smirk all together promised one thing: Danger.
Probably for the first time, she really appreciated that this man–whom she'd gotten to know as a carefree playboy at first, then soon enough also as a loving father and, underneath all of his jokes, a sincere and solid friend–could become a truly dangerous man. Dangerous for anyone who dared to rouse his wrath.
She swallowed, forcing herself not to blink, not to look away. Slowly, tentatively, she allowed a smile of her own to appear. Friendlier than his, trying to calm him down. And sure enough, after only a couple of seconds his features softened, and his smile relaxed too.
"We'll get him, Castle," she said firmly, "Together."
"I know," he replied, "I know we will. Thank you, Kate."
"Always," came her response, and her smile grew a little wider.
"Uh… Dad? Detective Beckett?" Alexis asked, a little sheepishly, interrupting their moment.
"What?" He tore his eyes away from Beckett's, focusing on his daughter. "Ah, right… Well, I suppose there's not much sense in trying to argue with all of you ganging up on me. So if you're determined to stay, you'll stay. But," he added, "there will be new rules. You don't leave the house unless it's absolutely necessary. You will keep away from the windows, and we'll have new curtains. Thick, heavy curtains, that will be closed at all times. And don't open the door."
His 'rules' were met with silence. He tried to gauge if they were silently agreeing with him or if they were simply too stunned to argue, but utterly failed as their expressions were, at the moment, unreadable for him.
Alexis opened her mouth after a minute of tense silence, but Martha beat her to it.
"Richard, dear, I think you're overreacting. Being a little more careful is one thing…," she trailed off, turning to Beckett, "Do you think that's necessary, Kate?"
Beckett was thrown off by the question. She hadn't really expected to be included in this discussion, had thought that it was going to be between them, since, in her opinion, they were the only ones concerned with these rules.
On second thought she thought she understood Martha's motivation to ask her opinion; if she knew how protective Castle could get, his family had to know even better, so what made more sense than to ask someone with a (hopefully) objective view if he was overdoing it? Also, Martha might have anticipated that involving her would keep both Castles from taking the argument to a loudness that would definitely be too much for this hour of day… Castle certainly would listen to her, and as far as she knew Alexis respected her opinion too.
She considered Castle's points carefully. He wanted to essentially turn the loft into his own little fortress, complete with a turret if he could get that anywhere. With his imagination and money she couldn't put it past him to come up with something sufficiently similar. But what would it achieve?
Wasn't their real goal, besides catching the Dragon, to avoid tipping him or anyone else off that they were investigating the case again? And assuming that he somehow had eyes on Castle's family, wouldn't practically locking them away from the world rouse his suspicion? Maybe, under these circumstances, subtlety was what they needed. Life going on like every other day, just being a little more on guard.
She sighed, turning to Castle. "She's right, Rick," she said, meeting his eyes, expecting a flash of anger for her not backing him up. There was nothing of the kind though, just a brief display of shock before he reeled his expression in, leaving just a questioning frown up for her to see.
"And why's that?" he asked, his voice laced with irritation.
"Because… think about it: those things you suggest, they would make some sort of sense if he knew that we know, and if he were really targeting you and your family. But for all we know he doesn't have a clue that we know who the victim is, and we have to do everything to keep it that way. The second he finds out is the second we can take serious action, but before that we should keep it down. The longer he thinks that we don't know, the longer we are actually safe. All of us," she concluded, gesturing to his mother and daughter.
Castle stood silently, processing what she'd said. Was she right? Could it be that he really had just freaked out? The more he thought about it, the more he had to agree. It really was like him to jump ahead and assume the worst when his family was concerned. After calming down a bit he had to admit that Beckett's logic was sound, and her assumption sensible. They would've gotten word if there had been a hit in any of the databases, so likely the man wasn't in any of them. Which left the Dragon in the position to assume that they didn't know of the connection to him… Otherwise he would've been more careful about hiding or getting rid of the body.
It amazed him a little how much her presence did in the way of calming him. Usually it would be his mother who took the part when it was about Alexis, or vice versa. Now that it was about both of them… he almost laughed a little. She really did fit in with them.
He blinked once, slowly, before giving her a small nod. "I guess you do have a point," he conceded. "Keeping it down might be the best strategy for the moment." He gave her a small smile before turning to his family. "But we're still going to get new curtains."
"Well, in that case," Martha said, "where did I put the number of that interior decorator?"
When she walked up the stairs, presumably in search of said phone number, Alexis turned to her dad, fidgeting. He, knowing his daughter, just nudged her shoulder with his elbow, trying to both coax a smile out of her and encourage her to say what was so obviously bothering her.
"Dad, can we talk for a minute?" she asked quietly.
"Sure, sweetheart," he replied instantly, focusing on her.
"Alone?" A glance to Beckett accompanied that question.
"Uh… Beckett?" Castle said, turning halfway around to address his partner, "could you wait in the study? I'll be right there."
"Yeah, sure," she assented, turning to walk out of the room. She turned back around after one step and showed the two a slightly hesitant smile.
When the door to his study had completely closed, he returned his attention back to Alexis. "What's the matter?"
"Dad, are you… are you sure about this?"
"About what?"
"Do… do you have to do this?"
"Oh, sweetie," he said, his face falling at the sight of the fear in his daughter's eyes. "Yes. Yes, I have to."
"But you're not even a real cop, what could you do to–"
"I think we've had that conversation before," he interrupted her. "I may not have a badge and gun, but I'm still just as much a part of the team. Beckett needs help with this, all the help she can get in fact, and I'm her partner. Partners don't bail when things get tough. And besides, since the fall I've become just as involved as she…"
For a moment, Alexis looked like she was going to freak out, start yelling and throwing things. Only a moment though, and taking a few deep breaths returned her usual calm demeanor. But they didn't quite wipe the fear and worry off of her face.
"Yeah, I know," she responded. She was quiet for a bit, but resumed talking before he could prompt her again, "I'm not blaming you, Dad. I know she means a lot to you, and you've always told me to stick up for my friends, so it would be a bad example if you didn't do the same. And don't get me wrong, I think Detective Beckett is a really nice person, it's not that I don't want you to be there for her… It's… I'm afraid, Dad. I'm afraid for you, for her, for us. And I hate that. The being afraid part."
Castle was conflicted between smiling at his daughter's rambling and shedding a few tears at the sound of her voice; he couldn't remember many times when she had sounded so dispirited. It was not a voice he liked to hear her speak in. Not at all. He decided to go with neither of the conflicting emotions and instead pulled Alexis in for a hug, wrapping himself around her as if to shield her from the darkness that was looming just out of sight and tucking her head under his chin. He felt her sigh against his chest as her arms slipped around him.
"You know, I'm afraid too," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "And I hate it just like you do." He paused. "But I believe that we have a chance to catch this guy. And we should take that, if it means that we can stop him from dominating Kate's life… all our lives."
Alexis just burrowed herself further into him, squeezing him tighter. He would have liked it, had he not been able to practically feel the bundle of fear and worry seeping from her and into him. Hell, he was afraid too. Big time. He was worried that they'd make a mistake and tip off the Dragon, ending with either themselves or someone close to them dead. He wouldn't get rid of that, not until the guy was caught, but he knew that he couldn't let it rule him. And he hoped she'd at least let him do what he had to.
"Dad?" she said after a few minutes of silent embrace.
"Yes pumpkin?"
"Just… just promise me that you'll be careful, okay?"
"Of course," he replied instantly, "of course I'll be careful. I plan to keep annoying you for a long time."
"Dad!" she admonished him, but he thought he could feel her smiling against his chest.
He chuckled in response, the rumble in his chest transferring onto her, before they fell silent again.
"Detectives Ryan and Esposito will be here any minute," he said, breaking the silence once more, "I think it's best if you go upstairs."
"Okay," she said, extricating herself from his arms and moving to climb the stairs. She turned back to him on the second step, telling him, "I love you, Dad," before rushing upstairs.
He looked after her for a moment, partially marvelling at how mature she was acting. But the larger part of him was silently wondering how much of this was really just an act for his benefit. He had expected more of a fight, both from her and before from Kate when he had told her. Yet neither fight had happened, which confused him. He shook his head, deciding not to look into the gift horse's mouth, and walked to his study.
"She okay?" Beckett asked after he closed the door behind him. She had her back to him, looking out of the window.
He weighed honesty against a little white lie to put her at ease, but figured that he wouldn't be able to make her believe him, so he settled for the first path. "Not really. I mean, how okay can she be when her dad's almost freaking out?" He was aware of how strained his voice sounded, and how tired he felt. Abnormally tired, really, since it wasn't too late and the day had only been frustrating, not overly stressful–not counting the few hours since they had been to the morgue. Yet those few hours seemed to weigh on him more than a week without sleep would.
When she didn't respond, he moved away from his position at the door and closer to her, stopping somewhere in the middle. She had taken all of this better than he'd expected, but then she was an expert compartmentalizer, and he feared that she'd just shove her real feelings about his confession into a box until they had closed the case. While he was sure she'd done so successfully in the past–she never talked about it, hence he didn't actually know–he doubted that she'd be able to pull that off now. Not with this case.
"Are you?" he asked. "Okay, I mean." He felt his throat clam up when she still didn't respond. "Are we?"
The last question–or maybe the tone of his voice, he wasn't sure–received a tiny shrug of her shoulders in response. So small, so fragile-looking, that it broke his heart. "Kate…"
"Castle…" She sounded like she was just as close to the edge as he himself was. He briefly wondered where she'd taken the strength from to keep her calm in front of his family. He had no idea how, but she'd had that strength, and she'd used it to calm him, reassure him somehow; now, though, he didn't really feel sure of anything.
He heard her draw an almost strangled breath, then another one, easier, deeper. She brought her hands up to her face before she turned around, and just by that motion and her next words, he knew that she had pulled her walls back up, "Can we not do this now, Castle?" Just like that, he felt like all the time since the fall he'd spent chipping away at those blasted walls had been washed away.
Castle allowed his shoulders to slump a little, dropping his head for a second. He could try to talk to her, to get her to see that she didn't have to do it like this… But who was he fooling? When her PTSD had kicked in barely a month earlier, she had walled up too, and he hadn't been able to do a thing about it. And this wasn't just PTSD now, not just a sniper on the loose. It was her case, and maybe her sniper. Yet, he wasn't ready to give in completely.
He rolled his shoulders in a fruitless attempt to shake the glum feeling off before he lifted his gaze back at her. "Fine," he replied, "we won't do it now." He thought he could see her relax a little. "But we will do it later, Beckett."
They had to function in order to solve this case, he knew that. And functioning would be hard if they were breaking down every time they hit a calm, every time the adrenaline stopped pushing them. He wanted her to be able to break down, let out all the stress and tension that she'd built up, but he wasn't sure if he would be strong enough to be her rock, or if seeing her lose it would pull him over the edge right along. And even if he could hold himself together, there was no guarantee that he'd be strong enough to piece her back together as well. He wanted to believe that he could do that, but he was sensible enough to see that he very well might not be able to. So he settled for trusting that her method worked well enough to carry her–them–through it.
She didn't respond to his statement, and so they slipped into a very awkward silence, waiting for the boys to show up and give them a reason to talk about something that wasn't necessarily as painful as the conversation they were avoiding now. Though Castle was in no way certain how the boys would react to the fact that he'd continued the investigation on his own. They would probably be able to understand that he'd wanted to protect Beckett, but they might be mad at him for leaving them in the dark. Well, he thought, that remains to be seen.
The doorbell saved them from further awkwardness, at least for the moment. Castle made his way out of the office and to the front door without thinking, only stopping for a moment when he stood right in front of it, hand already poised to open. He took a quick look through the peephole, verifying that it was really the two detectives standing on the other side, before he sighed and opened the door, inviting them in with just as much as a short and tired "Come in."
Both Ryan and Esposito looked outright suspicious, if not worried, at the not-so-grand gesture and probably his general state (he had the feeling that his tiredness and uneasiness still showed), but came in quickly nonetheless, looking around as he closed the door.
"Where's Beckett?" Ryan asked.
"Office," Castle replied tersely, "come on."
He turned to lead the way, but Esposito snatched him by his sleeve.
"What's up, bro?" the man asked, his brow furrowed in what clearly passed as irritation now, "No 'Hey, it's good to see you'? Are you two really alright?"
Castle sighed. "Yes–No–I… We're not hurt. Physically." That didn't help to put his friends a little more at ease. "You'll understand in a minute." With that, he extracted his sleeve from Esposito's hold and walked away. The two detectives shared a confused look before following him to the office.
Beckett stood behind one of the armchairs, leaning on it, gauging the mood in the room–as if there was anything left to gauge. Ryan was at the window, looking straight out, as he'd done for the past five minutes. Esposito alternated between throwing worried glances at her and death glares at Castle, who sat in his desk chair, shoulders slumped, face broadcasting general dejection.
Castle had told her two colleagues all that he'd told her about the case and his research, and neither of them had taken it very well. She could only guess at all the reasons that made them react the way they did, but she was sure she could name at least a few.
For one, they were both worried about her. They always were when she was about to go into a dangerous situation, and dangerous might have been just a tiny understatement for this. It wasn't the immediate danger of a suspect takedown where the perp might point a gun at them, yet that, the slight intangibility, the not knowing who their perp was to begin with, made it all the more dangerous.
Secondly, they were probably both pissed that Castle had kept them in the dark as well, and rightfully too. She still didn't understand why he hadn't told them, and neither did they, obviously. Ryan had been quiet the whole time, just listening to what Castle had to say. A casual observer wouldn't have noticed it, but she had worked with him long enough to be able to tell when something irritated him, even if he didn't say so–and he very rarely ever did say so. Now, though, the tension in his shoulders and the special way in which he furrowed his eyebrows told her that he was beyond irritated.
Esposito, on the other hand, never made a secret of his frustration, and this time was no exception. It had taken her hand on his arm and hard glances to get him to shut up and listen several times during Castle's report, and now that everything was said, Esposito's temper was obviously boiling beneath the surface. She was actually surprised that he hadn't started yelling at Castle yet. She knew that had to happen soon, or he might start to test the stability of the loft's walls.
She herself hadn't said a word since those decidedly uncomfortable minutes alone with Castle just before the boys had arrived. She still cursed herself for almost losing it like that, but the quiet minutes alone in his study after talking to his family had only served to wear her down as her mind had chosen to play back Alexis' and Castle's expressions from that conversation. She couldn't shake the thought of the things that could've happened to him since the summer… or the things that could still happen to him. She wanted to tell him to stay home, to stay safe, but she knew that he would never let her do this alone; no matter how much she'd assure him that with the boys' help she'd hardly be alone. And, for another, she didn't really want to do this without him. He might be stupid and stubborn from time to time, but he was still her partner, and it was a fact –though she would never admit to it–that she worked better with him by her side than without.
When Esposito's gaze was on her once again, she nodded at him while pushing herself up off the chair, straightening her back.
The grumpy detective returned the gesture, then turned fully on Castle.
"What the hell, man?" He didn't yell, didn't even raise his voice much above the normal level. "What were you thinking? You could've gotten yourself killed in this, you know that? And why didn't you tell us? I mean, we could've helped you…"
Beckett had no trouble discerning that her friend's frustration wasn't so much directed toward Castle as to the whole situation, the slightly awkward gesture Esposito concluded his words with only serving to make her point.
"I… I'm sorry, but I thought it was for the best that way. If Beckett couldn't look into the case, I figured whoever is behind this must have ways to monitor the police. So if you had started digging, he'd have found out and ordered you killed, or God knows what. But–"
Ryan surprised them all by cutting Castle off, "But if you were to do all of it on your own, that would make it alright? That you'd be able to slip past his attention, just because you're not a cop? Is that what you were thinking?"
He hadn't even turned around or moved, indicating in any way that he was fully present and not on some kind of out-of-body-experience. His voice, however, carried a slightly aggressive, accusing undertone. Beckett realized that while she and Esposito were always teasing him for acting like he was 'little Castle', Ryan actually had a good idea of what was going on in Castle's head. Maybe that was the reason he acted the way he did toward Castle, maybe he understood the writer better than they all gave him credit for.
"I… Yes," Castle managed, looking utterly defeated.
Esposito continued to glare at him for another minute, then huffed and addressed the whole room, "So what's our next move?"
Beckett considered it; while Esposito had spoken to everyone, she knew that the question was really meant for her. She swallowed before responding, "First we have to make sure to keep this under wraps. Nobody can know, or we risk that He gets wind of it."
"That shouldn't be too hard. Any of you planning to tell anyone?" Esposito asked.
Ryan just shook his head, almost imperceptibly, but Castle perked up. "What about Gates?"
Esposito whipped around. "Gates? Are you out of your mind?"
"Why?" the writer shot back, visibly shaking off the dejection that had held him in its grasp.
"Why?" echoed the detective in question. "Because. We don't know that she's not secretly working for Him. And remember, she closed the case."
Castle cocked his head. "I never thought I'd be defending her, but… Yeah, she closed the case–because she works by the book. And she might have her quirks about orders and procedure, but really, has she done anything to warrant your suspicion?"
Beckett was about to back Castle up, since she thought he was right and also because she had promised him to get protection for his family… And Gates would definitely want to know why she needed to assign officers to watch Castle's mother and daughter.
But Ryan beat her to it. "We can't go to Gates." His voice rung clear through the room, and they all turned their heads in his direction, realizing that he'd turned around and was facing them instead of the city now. "How would we even try to sell this to her? For all we know, there's no connection between this… Weston… and the sniper, only between him and Him. So if we tell her about this, then we have to tell her all of it if we want her to believe us. And then we have to tell her about the captain too…" He trailed off, but the hurt beneath the hardness in his voice was there for all of them to hear.
Beckett wanted to hit herself in the head for her stupidity. How on earth did she forget about that? In her hurry to calm Castle down and… Crap. She needed a new plan, one that would work without Gates or anyone else involved, something… Sure enough, when she looked from Ryan over to Castle, the latter had narrowed his eyes at her. Thankfully though, he didn't say anything. It was Esposito instead who brought up the point, at least in a way.
"What about your dad, Beckett?" When she turned to him, a confused look on her face, he elaborated, "I mean, Lockwood threatened Montgomery's family, and even if this mystery man that called Castle is keeping them safe somehow, He has proved that he has no issues going after them, so he might go after your dad too. Or any of our families, for that matter," he concluded, looking pointedly at Ryan and Castle.
She opened and closed her mouth, not sure what to say. She had only thought about Castle's family, never even considered that her dad might just as well be a target to get to her. To her simultaneous relief and dread, Castle spoke up before she could formulate an answer.
"I was going to get someone here… I know this guy, he's in private security. I wanted to ask him to be here and look after my… Anyway, he's good, and I can tell him that I'm worried because of a criminal that got away and threatened my family."
Impressive, considering that he came up with that in about a minute, she thought, although it didn't get her any closer to having an idea about her father. That story might work well enough for Castle, but if her dad suddenly had a bodyguard… No, that wouldn't work.
"He'll be okay," she said aloud, "I'm already determined to get this guy, and he knows that too, so when he finds out that I'm coming after him again, he'll go straight for me, and no one else." She swallowed the 'I hope' together with the lump that had formed in her throat.
The three men looked shocked by her words, so she added, "But I don't plan to let him get me." A smirk, not too unlike Castle's, tugged at her lips.
"He'd have to come through me first," was Esposito's only comment to that, and she was grateful that he kept the sentiment out of his voice.
"And me," Ryan added.
She couldn't help glancing at Castle, finding his eyes locked on her. He didn't say it, but the way he set his jaw and squared his shoulders told her that he would do the same as the other two. She felt tears rising in her throat, battling with her resolve, and she closed her eyes and took a measured breath, swallowing the latest surge of anxiety. Then she looked at him and nodded, knowing that there was no way she'd get him to stand down, not when he'd almost taken a bullet for her already. She just hoped that it would never get to that, that none of the three would have to risk their lives for her.
"Alright," Castle said after a short silence, "that's settled, but it brings us no closer to our next move."
"I say we wait and see if DNA gives us an ID," Esposito said, "and if it does, we can officially run him. Won't be too hard to hide this from Gates… I mean, you need to know what you're looking for to see the connections in the man's life. With how he's been killed, we could probably officially run the investigation in the mob direction for a while without causing suspicion."
"And if his DNA is not in the database?" Ryan asked.
"Then we'll just keep screening surveillance tapes and continue canvassing the area for witnesses. And maybe Lanie can narrow the time of death down for us," Beckett replied, pausing for effect, "Off the record, we'll run Castle's information through every database we have. Try to see if we can find anything else."
"Don't you think he was ways to find out if we do just that?" Ryan commented warily.
"I don't know," she replied, "but we'll have to take that chance. If anything, it might flush him out, make him act. Then he might make a mistake."
"And your mystery man, Castle?" Esposito threw in.
"I have no idea about him. For all we know, he might have a hidden agenda, or he might just want to protect Beckett. I don't even know what side he's on, if any." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "All I know is that I believed him when he said that you'd get killed if you kept digging, Kate. I got you to stop, and nothing happened to you."
Beckett chose not to comment that last statement and instead focused on the first part. "Right. We shouldn't forget about him, but I don't think that he's our prime concern. Let's focus on what we know."
"Alright," Esposito said, receiving nods from everyone. "So, see you guys tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Ryan said, "I have to get home, Jenny's gonna be worried."
"Why," Castle asked, checking his watch, "it's not that–" He did a double take. "Late? When did it become ten thirty?"
"My point, exactly," Ryan responded, then addressed his partner, "Let's go."
Esposito smirked, and turned toward the door. "You coming too?" he asked as he passed Beckett.
"I'll be at the door in a moment," she said, glancing at Castle, sensing that he wanted to talk to her alone.
Sure enough, when the door had closed behind her two colleagues, Castle got up and walked around his desk, coming to a stop just a foot away from her. Talk about personal space, she thought.
"You're always welcome to stay here, Kate," he said softly. "I… Honestly, I don't like the idea of you staying in your apartment all alone."
"What, trying to get me in bed, Mr Castle?" she quipped, though the remarked lacked all of the spirit it would've possessed under different circumstances.
He just shook his head. "I'm worried, Kate."
"Yeah, so am I, Rick. But I'm the target here, not you or your family. I just want to make sure it stays that way."
He had no response to that, just stared at her with wide eyes.
"Hey," she said, "I'll be okay. We'll get him, remember?"
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah. But Kate? Be careful."
The softness and worry in his eyes and voice almost broke her heart. She swallowed and smiled tentatively at him before she turned and walked out to meet the boys at the door.
Castle sighed and scrubbed his hands across his face before he followed her, seeing them off.
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