Recovering Lost Memories

Chapter 3 - Just Go to Sleep

Peter looked at his brother with eyes he was sure were filled with lust. What the hell was he going to do? He had just kissed, very passionately his brain added helpfully, his brother. How was he going to explain this without sounding insane or a complete fool? Would Nathan even believe him about his amnesia? Even if he did believe him, that was no excuse for kissing Nathan.

"I'm sorry, I am. The reason I did that is... you see what happened was... well, I lost my memories and..." Peter trailed off. He had no idea how to continue without admitting that he had feelings for his brother, a discussion that was sure not to go over smoothly. "I'm sorry... really, I truly am..." he finished lamely.

"Peter, we'll talk about this later, I promise. Right now, I'm just going to be happy you're alive." As he said the Nathan pulled Peter back into a tight embrace. Despite his best efforts, Peter couldn't help but to cling helplessly to his brother. He felt safe there, in his brother's arms. Nathan was his protector and always would be; it was something Peter could feel in his bones.

"I love you Nathan," Peter mumbled into his brother's shirt.

"I know Pete. I love you too." Peter knew Nathan didn't mean it in the same way though. Would never mean it in the same way.

"Nathan, I need to tell yo-" before Peter could finish, he was cut off by a change in Nathan. Where as before, Nathan was the one supporting the two of them, now the younger brother was holding all them up. "Nathan? Nathan!"

After quite a bit of maneuvering, Peter finally got a look at his brother's face. The congressman's eyes were closed and his face completely relaxed. Peter sighed and wrapped his arms around him tighter. Carefully, the smaller man dragged the other out of the living room and into the bed room. As gently as he could, Peter laid Nathan down on his bed and took a seat on the left of the sleeping man.

Sighing, Peter looked down at the other man. The other man who was his brother. The other man that he was in love with. Who was his BROTHER! It was disgusting; these feelings he was having for his brother; his own flesh and blood! When he thought about two siblings loving each other, Peter couldn't help but feel creeped out. It was wrong after all. But when he thought of being with Nathan, he felt no revulsion, only a warm fuzzy feeling.

"I am not in love with my brother, I'm just confused or tired or something. I love Nathan as nothing more than my brother because that's all he is and will ever be." Peter hoped saying it aloud would help him believe it. It didn't work, the feelings still burned just as fiery and passionate as before. He decided to try again with a slight variation.

"It's wrong. These feelings I have for Nathan, my BROTHER are wrong." It didn't feel wrong though and his words didn't sound convincing, even to him.

Sighing again, Peter looked down at his brother. "Why does it have to be you?" Peter asked quietly, as to not wake the sleeping man. His voice cracked slightly on the last word and he cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed even if no one heard it. "Why?"

He couldn't remember falling in love or anything much at all about their combined past, but this feeling inside him was unmistakable. Had he always felt this way? When did he fall for the worst person possible to fall for? Had Nathan known about his younger brother's corrupted mind before now? Had he realized before Peter? Had he even known that he was in love with Nathan before his accident? These feelings definitely weren't new, but had they come about slowly enough so he hadn't realized he had fallen in love with his own brother?

Over whelmed with the lack information, Peter ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face, a habit he apparently had whenever he was distressed. He was even more frustrated with everything than he had been back in Ireland, when he had known nothing. The more he found out about his former life; the more confused he was; the more questions he came into view.

Peeking out between his fingers, Peter glanced over at his brother. He inhaled quickly when he looked at his sleeping face. Even with the thick facial hair and unkempt appearance, he was still the most beautiful man the younger had ever seen. The tension in his brow and the rest of his face melted away in relaxation. He looked quite a bit younger with all the stress washed from his face.

Moaning in despair, Peter flopped down next to his sleeping brother. He felt so lost, it was completely unfair. It wasn't his fault he had amnesia after all. Unless it was. Hey, it's not like he could remember how he lost his memories! Peter was suddenly seized with the urge to pound his fist into the bed like a child throwing a tantrum. He refrained however, because that might wake Nathan.

The younger brother looked over at the elder one once again. He gently reached out and touched Nathan's lip with his fingertips. Before he even had the chance to really understand what he was doing, Peter brought his lips to meet Nathan's. He pressed them lightly against his brother's before the gravity of what he had done sunk in and he jerked away.

He stared wide eyed at Nathan. He had just kissed his brother! Well sure, Peter had kissed Nathan earlier that night, and with a lot more passion, but he hadn't known who Nathan was at the time. This time he had kissed him, knowing full well who he was and how they were related.

Rolling over so his back was to Nathan, Peter decided it was far too dangerous to be around Nathan while he was so vulnerable.

Peter was just about to get up and go sleep on the couch (far away from Nathan where he'll be safe) when he felt Nathan stir behind him. Before he had time to move away, he felt an arm circle around his waist. Nathan's grip on him tightened, pulling Peter to him. Nathan sleepily wrapped his right leg around Peter's. Peter, now lying flush against his brother, gasped slightly at the sudden and unexpected contact. He tried to pull away, but Nathan's arm around him only tightened, affectively trapping the younger Petrelli.

This is going to be a long night, Peter thought as Nathan nuzzled the back of his neck, sending shivers up his spine.

Author's Note:

Sorry for taking forever! I've been really busy and unable to update any of my fanfictions. I'm especially sorry for this one because I kinda gave up on it because I kinda totally forgot the plot. Since I can't remember where this was supposed to go, I'm just going to make it as I go along. If you have any suggestions, I want them!

I was actually thinking of completely giving up on this story, but then Ray191 posted a comment which made me feel really guilty if I did give up. So, I dedicate this to you, Ray! Honestly when I saw your comment, I kinda went something like 'well damn, someone likes my story enough to comment. Looks like I have to write more. Now what the heck was the rest of this supposed to be about again?' Hope you liked it anyway. Sorry for it being filler angsty fluff, I just had no idea what to write and somehow all this came out.

Thank you dawnsmith, digi-smile, Miss Snazzy, spaceman-earthgirl, TenshiXXX, and TruffleHead for adding this to your alerts!

And thank you dawnsmith, digi-smile, and Harmonie-Dream for adding this to your favorites!

I'll update as soon as I can think of what happens next so please comment, subscribe, and favorite! Or not, it's your choice really. But I'd prefer it if you do.