Chapter 5. The Secret
A few weeks had past and I couldn't be happier because I was with Edward, but I couldn't help feeling like there was something BIG he wasn't telling me and it was real frustrating, and it didn't help with him and Rosalie fighting, it was strange though they only started fighting when every one found out that Edward and I were now a couple. I also couldn't help but feel like Rosalie hated me even more, though I really didn't think it was possible for some one to feel that way towards someone who has done absolutely nothing wrong, but the last couple of weeks there was pure hate and resentment coming from her and im sure that Emmett picked that up to, he couldn't figure out why she was this way about me. I asked Edward a few times why he and Rosalie where fighting but he just made up some lame as excuses and told me forget about it. This particular morning I decided enough was enough.
"Edward can you tell me now why Rosalie hates me so much, why you disappear all the time with no excuse, and why use are fighting all the time?" I yelled at him, I made sure every one down stairs could hear, I was annoyed, no that doesn't cover it I was a lot more then that.
"Bella can you please not yell at me?" he asked back quiet so no one could hear him.
"Just tell me ok, I've had enough, it's driving me crazy. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME, im not stupid Edward, you think I don't notice but I do." This was getting out of hand I can't take it any more I just wanted the truth, well at least I think I did. Edward just looked at me; he wasn't going to tell me.
"AHH Edward you're such a pain," I yelled, "Find your own way to school, I don't want to see you until you tell me what is going on." I left the room in such a hurry, I couldn't stand to be near him when he wouldn't talk to me, there had to be something huge going on and I was going to find out one way or another. I walked down stair into the kitchen and grabbed some breakfast, Rosalie seemed more then happy that Edward and I were fighting, so I knew straight away it had something to do with her, and when I find out she would pay.
"Bella," Alice said, "Umm can I get a ride with you today, I want to talk to you about something?" she would do any thing to help me out, and im sure she would want to try and cheer me up, so I couldn't protest, I didn't want to feel like this, I felt totally useless, like Edward didn't care about me and it was the end of our relationship. I really didn't want to think about that, it was the last thing I ever wanted to face, I loved him so much and it hurt me, this brought tears into my eyes, I looked at Alice and smiled at her, it seemed like her and Emmett where the ones I could only really trust.
"Of course Alice I would love that, do you want to leave now?" I asked her trying to hold back my tears from my thoughts.
"Yea, sure lets go." I was thankful for her answer I couldn't be in this house while Rosalie and Edward where here.
We walked out to my car together Alice just looked at me, I thought about telling her how I felt but I didn't know if I could handle it, I new I would just start crying.
"Bella, are you alright? What has he done to you? I hate seeing you this way." Alice said deeply concerned. Could I tell her what I thought? Would she think Im an idiot? One way to find out I suppose.
"Alice no im not alright, he is keeping something from me and it hurts me, I know Rosalie knows, she is so smug after Edward and I have a fight, I just cant help but feel like something bad is going to happen, I don't want to loose him Alice, I love him." I cried to her, this was the first time I had told any one I loved Edward, I hadn't even told him yet.
"Oh Bella, its ok I will help you figure this out, and he is going to pay for what ever it is I promise, I cant stand seeing you this way." The rest of the drive to school was quiet, we waited out the front for Emmett, and Jasper, oh and the other two but we weren't waiting for them, there was no way I was waiting for him, not giving me answers, lying to me ahh I just want to punch him.
They eventually all arrived, I made it clear I didn't want to see him and I wouldn't except the classes I had with him, Crap how was I going to get out of this, I had to sit next to him, I didn't want to be any where near him, how was I going to get through this day. They got out of the car and Emmett walked over and gave me a hug.
"It will be ok, if he hurts you I will be after him." Emmett whispered. As much as I liked to hear that it was hard he was his best friend. He walked over to Rosalie and whispered something to her. I couldn't care as far as I was concerned she was going to pay to. Edward walked over to me and tried to give me a kiss, I made an effort not to look at him, and I knew he would have his sorry look on, but I wasn't sorry I meant what I said. As he leant in to kiss me I moved away from him still not meeting his gaze.
"Go away Edward, just leave me alone." I said to him as angry as I could it didn't help with the hurt and sadness in my voice; I grabbed Alice's hand and made her walk with me.
"Bella I think he is really sorry, I've never seen him look that way." She said.
"Alice I don't care sorry but he is hiding something from me, I can't and won't forgive him yet." Which meant know matter what I would, I was trying my hardest not to think about that.
The day dragged on, the classes with Edward where pure toucher, all I wanted to do is be in his arms but I couldn't let that happen, I had to be strong. When I really thought about it, I wondered when the next time he would disappear for a few hours with out telling any one, I needed to find out where he would be going, I needed to talk to Alice. I would find out one way or another, I wasn't going to be treated like a child or an idiot any more.
As soon as we arrived home Alice new I needed to talk to her, we both raced but to my room, before any one else could get home.
"Alice, I have to find out what is going on, im going to follow next time he goes out. He is up to something." I said
"Bella don't you think that's a bit over the top, you have no idea what is going on." Said back, ahh this is driving my crazy, or maybe I was crazy and imagining every thing, what if he was acting this way because I hadn't given myself to him yet. I thought about it for a moment, no that can't be it.
"Alice think about it, as soon as we got together Rosalie hated me more, Rosalie and Edward started fighting all the time, and know one knows why. And Edward has been acting so weird. There is something BIG going on and im going to get to the bottom of it, but I would really like your help, I need you in case it's something real bad." I looked at Alice, I had broken down I was now crying my eyes out I couldn't let him get to me, I wouldn't let him do this to me, I am strong, but I couldn't help but feel this way.
"OK Bella I will help you, but only because its you." I leant over and hugged her.
"Thank you so much Alice, you have know Idea how much it means to me."
"Bella, just be prepared for any thing, it could be something so silly."
"Alice, I know but I can't help but shake a feeling that something is wrong." I replied, "Alice, what if he doesn't leave while he knows im like this, he might not leave he might not want to…" I couldn't continue I had to come up with a plan so he would leave, I had no doubt that he wouldn't leave while he knew I was upset and angry at him.
"Bella, maybe you should pretend to forgive him, and act NORMAL, and then maybe we can find out what's going on." She had a good idea, but I didn't know if I could act normal, No I new I can, I had to especially if I wanted to find out what was going on. So it was decided when he arrived Alice would tell him I want to speak to him and I would "forgive" him and act normal and then the plan can go into action. I wasn't sure if I could do it, I was so angry at him, I wanted to know what he was hiding from me, it was killing me inside, but then I thought about what Alice had said. What if im totally over reacting, what if he isn't hiding some thing? Maybe I was just being silly but I still had a gut feeling something was not right
when we new they were home we started with our plan, Edward came up stairs and came into my room closing the door behind him, I was laying on my bed trying to think what I was going to do, I felt him come up to me, he laid next to me and kissed me on my neck and put his hand around my waist.
"Im sorry Bella, im so sorry about this morning, what can I do to make it up to you?" he asked he sounded sorry which made it so much harder I really didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to "forgive" him or at least make him think I forgave him. I turned to him, I looked at him for the first time since this morning, I couldn't help but get lost in his eyes, they were full or sorrow and guilt. But what was he feeling guilty about, but deep inside I didn't want to know yet, I didn't think I could handle it.
"Edward, im sorry to but you have to understand, that im scared that you will leave me." I said to him meaning every word. I was scared I didn't want him to leave me I don't want to leave him ever. I put my head onto his chest and started crying, I new I had just broke, I new I loved him, this pain was to much.
"What's wrong?" he asked, he sounded like he was almost crying to.
"Edward, I don't know how to tell you this but," I said, I didn't know if I could finish.
"What do you have to tell me?" he asked curious.
"Edward, I Love You." That's all I could say, I just hoped he felt the same way. I looked up at him to see his response; he was smiling and looking at me.
"Bella, I love you to, I have since I met you, but I didn't want to say any thing, I didn't what to scare you." I suddenly felt relief going through me. I smiled back at him and leant up and started kissing him, I new no one would dare interrupt us, they all wanted us to work this out, well every one but Rosalie. He wrapped his arms around me and brought me closer to him, I loved him and he loved me, that's all I cared about at this moment, and as for thinking he was hiding something from me, I dislodged it from my head, I didn't care any more, I wanted to be with him more then ever, I knew he loved me and I wanted to show him how much I loved him. I unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, revelling the body I longed for, I undid his belt and took it off, throwing it across the room, at that moment he stoped and looked at me and smiled and started kissing me as he took my shirt off with care, and then my jeans leaving me in my Victoria secret underwear, I took his pants off. Was this really happening or had I fallen asleep, I wasn't sure, I took a breath while he never stopped kissing me, he made his way down to my neck, then he stoped and looked at me.
"Bella, are you sure?" he asked, I was sure, I had never been more sure then any thing in my life, I wanted this more then any thing could explain. I looked at him and bit my lip.
"Edward, im sure, I've never been surer of any thing, I Love you."
"Bella, I Love you to." And with that said we went back to kissing each other with passion and urgency.
After we had finished we must of fallen asleep, when I woke, I was wrapped up in his arms, I felt nothing but pure bliss, joy, and pleasure, I looked up at his to see if he was awake. He was he looked at me with his green eyes, again I got lost in them.
"I Love you." I whispered.
"I Love you to." He whispered back, I could never get tiered of hearing those words they made me so happy it was unbelievable. I propped myself up on my elbow and looked at him, I couldn't help but stare, I had finally lost my virginity, so to most sexiest, hottest guy ever, it was magical, but I still couldn't believe it was true, it felt to good to be true. All of a sudden there was a knock at my door.
"Who is it?" knowing it would be Alice.
"Alice, can I come in?" she called out. Oh crap we aren't dress and im sure she doesn't want to see this, I got up and got dressed quickly, I glared at Edward and he knew he had to get dressed. Once we were decent I walked over to the door and let her in.
"Bella, Emmett wanted to tell you, but I convinced him it would be better if I came up here and told you, but any way Rosalie has a friend from Seattle visiting and Emmett said she could stay here with us since, we stay here all the time any way." She said.
"Ok thanks Alice." I said knowing it was better Alice come up then Emmett, if Emmett had found out what had just happened we would be dead right now. Alice left the room and went back down stairs. I leant up and kissed him he grabbed me and pulled me back on to the bed, I could never get sick of this. I leant away.
"Edward we are going to have some one here soon and it's not polite if we are in here all night, even though I would love to but we can't, and Im pretty sure Emmett would get pretty annoyed at us." I finished he understood gave me a quick kiss and got up.
"So when do you think this friend of hers is going to be here?" I asked.
"Knowing Rosalie, properly very soon." I got up kissed him and then we both went down stairs.
We all sat down in the living room but I couldn't think of any thing but what had just happened, I was basically sitting on top on Edward cuddling up to him, I also wondered when Rosalie's friend would be here, I just hope she is nothing like her, I don't think I could handle that, one Rosalie is bad enough. I looked at Edward and smiled, I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at his, and he put his arms around me and kissed me.
We all sat around watching TV waiting for Rosalie's friend to arrive, then there was a knock at the door, Emmett went and got it and brought her friend into the living room, Rosalie jumped up to her and hugged her, I looked up to see who it was, she was beautiful but did any one every think Rosalie would be friends with some one that wasn't? Edward looked up to see who it was and all of a sudden I felt him tense his arms around me and hold me closer to him. Ok this is strange why in the world is he acting this way? Did he know her? Did he used to date her? All these questions filled my head and I couldn't wait to have him alone so I could ask him what this is all about. Emmett introduced us to her, her name was Scarlett, and she was beautiful, Emmett went around the room saying all our names and when he came to me and Edward, he stiffened even more I didn't understand why, and then she smiled at him not me him, I knew this as after that 'smile' she glared at me with the same hate Rosalie usual does. What have I don't wrong now, I didn't even know her, and did Rosalie want ever one to hate me. It sure seemed like it and I was getting sick of it.
All night she kept staring at Edward and I it was discomforting and Edward seemed like her didn't want to be in the same room as her, then the feeling came back that something was wrong, it had something to do with her but I wasn't quite sure what but again I was determined to find out, after a while I couldn't stand it any more I got up and went up stairs, Edward followed me, so I automatically new he didn't want to be down there with her, I was arguing with myself whether or not I should ask him what was wrong, I decided to leave it for a while and let him become himself again, we laid on my bed and held each other not a word was spoken, I wanted to break the silence but I didn't want to upset him or make him angry. I looked up to him and I could see anger and hurt in his eyes.
"Edward what's wrong, you've been acting weird since Scarlett got here, what's making you so upset?" I asked him calmly as I could. He looked at me and smiled.
"Bella its ok don't worry yourself please, don't worry about her please." That made me even more worried. Again we were interrupted by a knock at my door.
Alice walked in after a couple of minutes and looked at us. She smiled and sat on the bed.
"Every one wants to know if use will come down stairs Rosalie wants to play truth and dare with Scarlett here and all." I didn't like this, as soon as I heard her name I new she was up to something and I didn't like it. Edward and I both looked at each other knowing that if we didn't Emmett would get angry so we both go up and followed Alice downstairs and took our seats. Rosalie looked at Edward and me and evilly grinned at us, I knew this was not good. We started the game, Rosalie started she looked at me and smiled again, I knew she was going to make me regret this.
"Truth or Dare Bella?" she asked, I couldn't pick dare there was no way.
"Truth" I answered back. I some how knew that it still wasn't going to be good.
"So Bella, are you still a virgin?" She asked with a huge grin or her face, crap I thought I can't let Emmett know this, but I can't lie they will all know straight out. I looked at her, I wanted to know what her plan was, but I couldn't figure it out. "Well Bella you have to answer." She said smuggle, I smiled at her. Ok here I go.
"UM No im not." I said trying not to look at Emmett's face, I didn't want to see how angry he was, and everyone knew who I had lost it to. I looked at her she still looked smug and then I looked at Scarlett she shot a glare at Edward and I. All of a sudden Emmett got up and stood in front of Edward and I. crap crap crap was all I could think.
I looked up at Emmett and saw the rage in his face I quickly got up and stood in front of him.
"Emmett forget about it, what ever your thinking get over it." I said to him but I new he wouldn't.
"Bella you and him, BELLA WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, DO YOU KNOW HOW STUPID IT IS, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. AND YOU EDWARD HOW COULD YOU, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WRONG AND YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" Emmett yelled at us.
"Emmett what are you talking about?" I asked I was clearly confused.
"Why don't you ask you precious boyfriend, im sure he would love to tell you why he has been acting weird and why Scarlett keeps look at use." He said I knew something was going on but what, hang on no he wouldn't cheat would he. I turned at faced Edward.
"Edward are you going to tell me what's going on?" he looked up at me looking so sorry, but I wasn't going to fall for it now, something was going on this is the BIG secret and Emmett knew. "Edward if you have one decent bone in your body and no what's good for you, you will answer me NOW." I screamed at him, tears started gathering in my eyes, I couldn't stop them from coming out, Edward stood up and looked at me in my eyes.
"Im so sorry Bella." That was all he said and he walked off. I turned around and faced every one.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON TELL ME NOW, OR YOU WILL ALL PAY." I screamed at them. Then Scarlett stood up and looked at me like she was enjoying this. I looked at Rosalie she had a huge smile on her face.
"Oh come on Bella, like you haven't figured it out, your brother did faster then you," She said still smiling she looked at Rosalie and laughed then looked back at me, "Bella I've been seeing him a lot, where do you think he disappears to all the time, why do you think he didn't want to be in the same room as me, I knew about you too but I still wanted him, I got what I want and im not giving him up." She finished smiling bout of joy. I couldn't believe this, no this is all a bad dream, he wouldn't do this to me, he told me he loves me I gave myself to him, how could he. I started crying.
"WHAT, NO, YOU B*TCH, HOW COULD YOU? YOU COME TO MY HOUSE KNOWING ALL ALONG AND YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, I LOVE HIM I GAVE MYSELF TO HIM AND YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" I screamed at her. I ran upstairs into my room. I saw him there sitting on my bed with his back faced to me. I wanted to up to him and beat the living crap out of him, he did this too me and he comes to my room. I kept looking at him I thought about what that b*tch had said 'Bella I've been seeing him a lot, where do you think he disappears to all the time, why do you think he didn't want to be in the same room as me, I knew about you too but I still wanted him, I got what I want and im not giving him up.' Maybe he wasn't all to blame, but he gave into her, he could have said no. Why did he do this why I don't understand, the tears came back and I started crying again? He turned around and faced me. I walked up to him not knowing what I was doing I sat next to him, I just looked at him.
"Edward how could you tell me you love me and let me give myself you and you had another chick, why did you do this to me what have I done to make you do this to me, YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME." I said to him. Still crying my eyes out, I couldn't understand why this had to happen. He put his head down as if he was ashamed. Good I thought he has known idea what this is doing to me.
"Bella I do love you and im so sorry, I wanted to tell you but Rosalie she, she said she would make it out to be my fault so you would brake up with me so I could be with Scarlett, I don't want Scarlett I want you, you're the most important thing in my life, and I cant believe you had to find out like that, im sorry Bella, I didn't mean for this, for any of this, I do love you more then you know, I don't know why I did what I did It was wrong and I don't blame you if you never want to see me again, what I have done if unforgivable." I said his voice full of sadness and angry at himself. I couldn't help it I didn't know what to think, I still loved him and wanted to be with him even after this. Was I that stupid, how can he love me after what he has done, how could I love him after this, he was right it is unforgivable. I thought about it some more but I still thought the same thing, I love him, and that's never going to go away and I can tell he is sorry but it doesn't mean im going to forgive him. I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew I had to say something to him.
"Edward, I hate you so much for doing this to me, it is unforgivable and if she is still down stairs when I go down there I will rip her apart and I mean it, but Edward I keep coming to the same thing in my head and its stupid and every other thing any one can think of but, Edward for some reason I still love you no matter what, and I want to be with you, its so stupid but I no you love me and oh Edward you have hurt me so much its not funny, I can not forgive or forget this." I said rather calmly to him, to my surprise he looked up at me and half smiled I was happy to see this but I smiled back.
"Bella how can you love me after this? How can you want to be with me after this?" he asked confused.
"Edward I don't know why but I do and I don't care what any one else thinks but me and you, but one this is that we need to go down stairs now and sort this out. Rosalie and Scarlett are both going to pay, look I don't totally blame you, she said herself 'Bella I've been seeing him a lot, where do you think he disappears to all the time, why do you think he didn't want to be in the same room as me, I knew about you too but I still wanted him, I got what I want and im not giving him up.' And im not letting you go, im not loosing you, we can get through this but I don't trust you, you have broken my heart." I looked at him once again, and I could see the shame in his eyes, I leant in and kissed him.
"I love you ok, lets go." I said as I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me. Rosalie was going to pay, and so was that b*tch, that's all I could think about as Edward and I walked down stairs.