Chris had slept warmly a perfectly without a nightmare for the first time in his life. The demons had only crashed into him when he had woken up. Oh he didn't regret anything he had done or said last night. Not even in the slightest. But there was that haunting feeling there. That niggling worry floating around his mind.
Darren had just come out. To Chris. But not to the world. The curly haired boy in his arms would have to deal with any backlash and accusations that would be throw his way and the addition of being half of a couple in the public eye, it would cause untold amounts of tension between the two of them. And what if it all got too much? What if Darren became resentful towards the man who made him feel these things? They needed each other. Chris couldn't loose his best friend. He needed time...Darren needed time to sort his own life out before joining it so firmly with Chris'. He needed time...
The mass of curls on Chris' neck started to stir and a soft sigh escaped into the air as Darren lifted his head blinking in an adorably sleepy kind of way. A tender smile curled on Chris' lips as he stared down into the hazel orbs. This wasn't necessarily new to them. Many nights they just lay and cuddled whilst a Disney movie flickered on the screen and many nights the combined body heat had caused then to quietly drop off in each others arms.
There was one big difference now. And as it slowly came back to Darren his face started lifting with his own loving smile...
"We cant be together." Chris' voice rang in the room and he cringed at how sharp it sounded as Darren scrambled to to his knees his eyes swimming with hurt.
"You... You regret the kiss or...Did I do something?" Darren's whisper was sleep rough and shook a little. He began to panic his eyes widening "Fuck I was bad at it wasn't I..."
Chris chuckled and reached up cupping Darren face. "Shh...It was perfect. You were perfect." He stroked his cheekbone with his thumb and tugged his tank top. "Now come back down here and let me explain."
Darren fell easily back into Chris' arm and Chris kissed the top of hi head lightly one hand stroking his side, the other tangled in his curls hi thumb caressing his ear.
"We cant be together because you've just come out to yourself Dare..."
Darren cut in quickly. "Because of you..."
Chris cut in too. "Exactly..." Darren turned his face up and frowned up at the taller boy thoroughly confused.
"Dare...What happens when the rest of the world finds out. When all the rumours and accusations start flying around? It will hurt you it will knock you...and being half of a celebrity couple...D it would put so much strain on our relationship. What is you started resenting it because of the trouble it causes..."
"I'll never regret..."
"I know...I know but...Things would always get in the way Darren. I'm not saying never. I'm just saying not now. You need to deal with you before we start talking about us."
Darren considered Chris' face carefully for a second his eyes tired. Chris saw the uncertainty in his eyes and he reached up kissing his forehead softly.
"I'll be there every second of the way Darren. You are so worth the wait." Darren smiled softly with a finality and leaned down to kiss Chris' forehead too. "Okay..." he whispered against the skin. There was weird kinda of pause before Darren sighed.
"Pity...I was gonna blow you this morning."
Chris groaned. "Bitch..."
Darren chuckled.