Had I? Had I really given up? I mean it wasn't like I'd started out with much, in fact I'd considered myself a survivor. There were so many other paths my life could have taken, and I had a decent life.
"No, I've fought hard for what I have." I said with more confidence than I felt. I had never endured the cruelties Eric had, but I had made something from nothing. It wasn't every person that could rise from the trash as I had.
"Truly?" He brushed his callused thumb across my cheek, "I thought you were not a fighter?" I didn't feel like he was insulting me, maybe it was the gentle tone, but the words were honest.
"I was kicked out when I was a kid." I murmured. I sat up, gripping the sheets beneath me. "Didn't have anything, but the clothes on my back."
"Your parents?" I nodded, I'd accepted the fact they had disowned me long ago.
"They didn't want to be associated with people like me, even if I wasn't dangerous." I'd left; angry, scared, full of self pity I'd left the town. "I moved around for awhile, finally settling in the city. I met several people, some good, some not." I shrugged, memories of the pitiful whores, the intimidating drug dealers, the bums filled my thoughts. Then there were the people that stopped to buy me lunch, the ones that threw me some cash, the man that gave me work. "I found a job as a dishwasher, able to eat leftovers, and actually put some cash back. He let me sleep in the kitchen, then I was able to get this." I gestured to the apartment and gave him a small smile. "I think I've done well, I didn't give into the easier routes, I didn't kill anyone, I've never stolen anything. I kept my morals and was able to make something of myself."
He gave me a small smile, his eyes tender. "You were very lucky. Why do you work as a cashier if the man was so good to you?"
I looked away from Eric again, my lips trembling, my eyes tearing. "He died two years ago, his kids shut the place down. He was a good man, he was normal." I looked at him strengthening my resolve. "He was normal Mr. Lehnsherr, a homo sapien, as you call them. He knew exactly what I was, as well as some of the waitresses and he was good to me." Eric's eyes narrowed on mine, his lips pressing into a grim line. "They're not all bad."
It was several moments of tension filled silence before he said, "Perhaps."
I let out a deep breath in relief. He tugged my hair, pulling me back down. I lay flat, but he moved to lean over me, his eyes wondering my face, my body. His hands kept to himself, but his eyes seemed to take in every inch of me. I was very aware of the handsome man lying half naked beside me, his kiss had stirred up even more feelings inside that I didn't want to acknowledge.
He might have had a horrible past, but what of the people he'd killed recently. Had they had families? Had they all been guilty? Who was he to judge a person's fate by one action? Did he encourage Creed's activities? Did he know Creed followed women home, threatened them, possibly raping them? He had to know, he was their leader. The way Raven had looked at me, even though I was a mutant. I had no doubts she would kill me if she could, there was no honor amongst crooks.
I growled, throwing myself to the side of the bed. I took a deep breath before rising from the floor. I stood, bracing myself as I met his bemused stare.
"Your a terrorist! You kill, you lie, you let your 'minions'," I said the last word with rancor, allowing my emotions to overtake my mouth. "Do as they wish, ignoring the laws, ignoring people's feelings, and I have no wish to be involved in that! You ask if I gave up, NO! I have not, I believe there is better out there! I believe a person is still capable of living a good life and making something of nothing without taking advantage of others!"
He was off the bed within the first sentence of my tirade, stepping slowly closer and closer to me. He was inches from me, his head bent to keep his eyes on mine. "Your as much of a fool as Xavier!" he whispered sneering down at me.
"Opinions are like assholes! Maybe your just an ass!" I felt my nails digging into my palms as I clenched my fist. My anger taking over my good sense, my hair responding by rising around my body giving me a feeling of security.
He growled, his hand coming up gripping my chin hard. His eyes flashed murder, his body tense with animosity, and I was ready to meet his unspoken challenge. It was an unexpected challenge as he pulled me against his body, his lips devouring mine, his hands gripping me in a unshakeable hold. I met him with equal fervor, my lips and tongue claiming his, my nails digging into his shoulder demanding more, my body pushing against his to keep the contact.
It was as if we went into an intimate haze, the two of us shredding all of our articles of clothing, our lips trying to stay in sync with the others', our hands feeling every inch of flesh as we fell naked to my bed.
The haze cleared as he entered my body. I looked at the man above me, his hair brushing the sides of my face, his arms bracing his body at my sides, his blue eyes meeting mine unflinching. He stopped as if realizing I was coming to terms with what was happening. I looked down his chest to see him half connected, his hips almost flush with my own, my legs wrapped around him, and I felt an intense desire. I bucked beneath him bringing us fully together before I met his eyes again. He shut them as he begin to move, I watched as I met his every thrust, his every demand, and I reveled in it. It was pure sexual want, no words of love, no promises, nothing, but the intense flow of emotions as we gave into each other. I felt my body finally starting to achieve it's beautiful release, moaning, gripping his arms, as I started to shake and throb in beautiful surrender. He didn't stop, pressing me for every sensation of submission before I felt him find his own release.
He lay above me, still inside me, and neither of us said a word. I was unsure what to say, and he couldn't meet my eyes. I trailed my arm down his in a caress, to offer friendship if nothing else, because with Eric Lehnsherr I could give no more. It was then I felt the blood of his wound, looking I found the place I had stitched was dripping just a little.
"You need to lay back, I don't wanna fix that again." I muttered, looking to the side.
He pulled away and my body screamed with protest. "It's fine." I nodded at his curt words, before getting up to get dressed again.
I was dressed, before I finally looked at him again, giving myself a small comfort being covered. He lay completely naked and unashamed as he propped his head up to look at me.
"Your a beautiful woman, Isis." His words were little comfort as I realized there was nothing of love between us. I'd almost felt used, but if that were true I'd used him just as much.
"Your a handsome man, Eric." He grunted and I took the opportunity to study his body. His beautiful chest, his long legs, his trim waist, and finally his large sex glistening with our fluids. I gasped, moving out of the room to the bathroom.
Coming back, I handed him the wash clothe, reluctant to touch him in such a way. "Eric?"
"Yes, my dear." He answered, sitting up as he cleansed himself. I shut my eyes almost afraid to ask what now occupied my mind. I felt his hand on mine, "Please, I do not wish there to be secrets between us." His words were soft and meant to be considerate, but there seemed a bitter undertone in my mind.
"Eric," I turned meeting his gaze with my own. "Did you use a condom?"