I wasn't sure what he was trying for. We sat at my small table with a simple meal of chicken with vegetables, even if he had seasoned it to achieve something mouthwatering. He'd held my chair out like a gentleman; he'd kept a polite dialogue throughout dinner, complimented me on my hair, and now watched me as if I would finish off his elaborate dinner. Well, whatever scheme he'd cooked up wasn't what kept my mind busy. I was still trying to figure out how I'd explain to him that he had no choice if I was truly pregnant.
"Would you like to listen to music?" he asked with his debonair grin.
I narrowed my eyes, "Why?"
He sat back, his arms folded over his chest, a sigh signaling he was prepared for battle. "I find music to relax the nerves and felt that it would be an appropriate provision for our coming chat." Our 'coming chat'? Was he serious? I'd describe it as more of bound to happen train wreck of a talk. Let him pretty it up, in the end it was going to leave a bitter taste in both our mouths.
"If music will calm you, be my guest." I stood, glancing at him before going back to my couch.
"You truly are a magnificent woman Isis," he said softly. I heard him, but refused to acknowledge it. I watched as he put the dishes in the sink and some leftovers in the fridge. The small actions, the simple courtesies, and the sex had made him seem more down to Earth. It wasn't every day I had a super villain making me dinner or cleaning up, it wasn't every day I was used a sexual release, and it wasn't every day I was going up against a man for something I saw no other choice for. It felt unreal, almost like a dream that kept twisting away that kept me on edge of a nightmare.
He decided against the music, but moved to the other side of the couch, giving me plenty of personal space.
"Thank you for dinner."
He waved a hand, "It is nothing compared to what you have done for me. Think nothing of it."
"Yes," I said slyly. "The fruity O's for breakfast was a real fancy touch."
He snickered, but averted his eyes. It was nice to know he at least had a sense of humor. I don't think I could take being locked into my apartment with someone that was dry as the Sierra.
"I am not father material." He stated as if sensing my reluctance to start the conversation, so taking a dive headfirst himself.
I looked at him, truly looked. He looked like a normal man, he acted like a normal man, but he wasn't. He was anything and everything, but normal.
"I'm not asking you to help raise it."
He cocked a brow, his mouth turning up on one side with a sad grin, "Do you think to do it by yourself? It's not a puppy, there's no second guessing once it's here."
I growled for a moment, I couldn't let him get to me. "There's a chance I'm not even pregnant, y'know?"
"Yes, but there is a chance you are." Expected counter.
"I'm not going back with you." I shut my eyes, refusing to watch the emotions playing through his eyes, gathering my own thoughts. "I done decided I'm moving out of here and no one knows you've even been with me."
I felt his hands take my own, resting in my lap, he scooted beside me slowly as if testing my willingness to be close. It wasn't like we could be any closer than what we'd already done, so I wouldn't deny him.
"I'm glad you will be leaving this neighborhood." I looked at him then, his expression still a sad grimace. "It's amazing a woman alone has made it this long without any… lasting impressions."
I grinned, "It isn't like I'm without protection."
He nodded, "Psychics live among us, people who have sixth senses that can feel what you are to me. It would be a challenge for you, for a little one it would be dangerous. I am not well received in today's society by humans or mutants."
"You're not a complete loss either." I looked to my feet. "You may not have the best outlook, but it's understandable after what you've been through. I don't intend to ever see you again after you go back."
He released my hands and I could him take a deep breath. "If there does happen to be a child."
"I would tell them one day, but it wouldn't be any time soon. They'd grow up knowing I loved them and that their father wished to be with them, but things didn't work out so that he could." I had thought about that, about telling my child about their father. I wouldn't take the easy route and say he died, but I refused to tell them everything and put them at risk.
"Do you think it wise?" He took my hands again, "Have you really thought this out? I mean other than paying for a roof, for food, for diapers, you'd have a whole new set of responsibilities, worries, and it's not an easy path. We're both mutants, what if we had a mutant child."
"That is not a problem. I don't care if they happen to have powers or not, I'll love them either way. There are day cares, better jobs, and I would be there. I know I don't have much, but I can get a better job. My baby would never do without." He nodded.
"People would kill you and torture the child to get to me." His eyes met mine in a cold stare. "They might force you to watch as they tormented the child of Magneto. Men are cruel, they get creative when it is something they hate or fear. They might rape you as the child watch or vice versa, they might peal the skin from your bodies to see how long you'd live, they might-"
"Please, I'm aware of the dangers." I felt my eyes tearing up and fought for control to keep from crying. "I would hide us. It would be my first priority." He started to say something else, but I squeezed his hands. "I don't think I could live with myself if there was a child and I put it down before at least giving it the chance for life. It would be in my head every day, every moment, every time I saw a child I would think of my own. I don't judge anyone that has, but I couldn't live with it."
He nodded, "There's little else to say."
I smiled through the tears that finally fell, "I hope you don't hate me."
He kissed the knuckles of my hand, "Never. At the very least I consider you a friend." A friend. He considered me a friend; it seemed an insignificant word for the last few days.
It seemed a wind had seeped into my door with Victor Creed then ended with the tornado gusts of Eric Lehnsherr. I'd known very little about the Brotherhood a week ago, but now it seemed to heat my blood with unfamiliar emotions when I heard it mentioned. Eric had changed me, for either good or bad, I was changed.
"Do you wish to leave tonight?" I asked, finally spitting out the next problem my mind seemed to find as a focal point.
He touched my shoulder softly, before gently pulling me to him. I went, but my body was stiff as I prepared for his rejection. We were only friends and friends came and went.
His blue eyes sparkled as they studied mine, his hands warm against me, and his body hard and rigid against my own soft skin. If nothing else, there was attraction between us.
"Do you wish me too?" his soft accented voice sent shivers of excitement through my brain and I found myself leaning into him.
"You're my friend." I whispered. "Stay as long as you wish."
He smiled, his lips inching closer to mine. "My wishes and wants make little difference in this world."
I nodded, "Then stay as long as you can."
His lips met mine in a timid kiss, different than the previous ones we'd shared. There was want and need, but there was an almost desperate quality to connect in our kiss. We were searching each other for that one intimacy the rest of the world denied us, for that one moment of peace, very basic need to be needed. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, but he made no move to take things farther and neither did I.