A/N So, this chapter is kind of more of the same, but I promise that next chapter will delve more into how Lois and Clark are getting along in their new lives without one another. I hope you enjoy it, I'm really enjoying writing it. Give me some feedback on how I'm doing and review!

A little while later I found myself back at Watchtower. I didn't feel like returning to the farm. Although Lois hadn't actually spent much time there in this world, my memories of our time there together weren't gone. It was bittersweet. I was over the moon with joy just knowing that Lois was alive, and yet not having her by my side, not being able to go home to her, still left me with a throbbing ache in my chest.

I gazed out of the window that overlooked all of Metropolis, it looked brighter than it had the last time I'd stood here. The day of Lois's funeral. I shook my head, I knew I shouldn't think about that. I'd have to deal with those memories, and what I'd done at some point, but not tonight. I hadn't slept in days, so I changed out of my suit, laid down on one of the couches, closed my eyes, and let the my fatigue overtake me.

"Clark! Clark wake up!" I felt someone gently shaking my arm. I opened my eyes and saw Chloe sitting next to me. Slowly, I sat up.

"Clark what are you doing here, I went by the farm to check on you this morning, but you weren't there. Why were you sleeping at Watchtower?" She asked.

"It's kind of a long story," I replied.

"Care to share any details?" She said with raised eyebrows.

I slid my hand through my hair.

"I don't even know where to start."

"The beginning is generally a good place," said Chloe.

It took me a few moments to organize my thoughts before I spoke.

"I used this," I said. I pulled out the Legion ring out of my pocket, and held it out to her. Chloe gaped at me.

"The Legion ring? I thought you were against messing with the space time continuum?"

"I was. I am, but something happened. Something terrible...and I couldn't help myself. I had to go back," I said.

"What happened, Clark?" she asked, with obvious concern in her voice.

I looked away from her. I didn't want to tell her. I didn't want all the awful memories of the last few weeks to seep into this world. But I needed to know what my life was, I couldn't imagine it without Lois, but I'd have to learn. To do that, I needed Chloe's help.

"I can't really give you all the details," I choked out, "but the short version is that I am from a different future and I'm gonna need some help figuring out what my life is like now."

"Okay, well what was so different about your future?" Chloe asked.

"It was pretty similar to this, but there was one big difference."

"Which was?" she said, clearly frustrated because I wouldn't give her more information.

"In this other future I was married, now I'm not," I stated.

"Clark Kent? Married? To who?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Let's just say it was probably the last person you'd expect me to end up with," I replied.

"I'm sure it's more obvious than you think Clark, when it comes to romantic interests, you're about as subtle as your bright red cape. It was Lana wasn't it?"

I shook my head and smiled.

"Nope, not Lana."

"Really? Diana then?"

I looked at her in confusion.

"As in Wonder Woman?"

"Yeah, you two have had the whole super-sexual tension thing going on for ages," she said as if this should be common knowledge. I was used to sexual tension surrounding Diana, but Bruce was the one on the receiving end, not me.

"Well, that's new. But no, it wasn't Diana," I said, letting this new information sink in.

"Hmmm. It really is the last person I'd expect, isn't it?"

"She was the last person I thought I'd end up with too. But that was part of what made her perfect for me, she kept me on my toes," I told her, wistfully remembering all the unexpected things about Lois that made me fall so hard for her. Chloe studied me.

"It sounds like this mystery woman really made you happy, you loved her a lot didn't you?" Chloe asked.

"More than I ever dreamed was possible."

"Then why change it? Clark, you're my best friend and I love you, but here in this future, happy isn't one of the words I'd use to describe you. I worry about you, you always seem so...lonely. Why would you rob yourself of that, why use the ring to rid yourself of something that was obviously so important to you?"

A few moments of silence hung in the conversation, as I tried to get the words out.

"Because Lex killed her," I sighed deeply, "right in front of me, there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was my fault. Chloe, losing her, it changed me. Not for the better, I did things...awful things..."

A lump in my throat formed and I felt my chest tightening as the memories flooded me. Lois's limp body cradled in my arms, the uncontainable rage, the blood on my hands...I closed my eyes, put my face in my hands, and started breathing heavily. Chloe placed a comforting hand on my back. I looked over and saw deep concern in her eyes.

"Hey, Clark it's okay. You did what you had to do, but it's over now. Let's just try and get you back on track okay?"

I took a deep breath to calm myself, and nodded.

"So, uh, do I still work at the Planet?" I asked after a moment.

"Um, yeah, you just started as a full-time reporter there. You started out writing freelance, then you took a position as a foreign correspondent. It was easy for you, since you could zip all around the globe in the blink of an eye, but a few weeks ago you decided that it might be better for to spend more time in your base of operations here in Metropolis," Chloe explained.

It appeared that my past self had really taken what I'd told him to heart. Being a foreign correspondent was an excellent excuse to keep away, and my new full-time position at the Daily Planet seemed to coincide with Lois's departure. It even appeared that I still lived in Smallville, which would prevent any accidental encounters with her on the streets of Metropolis.

Chloe's phone rang, she pulled it out of her purse and looked at the caller ID.

"It's my cousin, I'll call her back later," she said as she went to put the phone away. But, yearning to hear Lois's voice, I stopped her.

"No, go ahead, answer it," I said as nonchalantly as I could.

"You sure?"

I nodded.

She stood up and slid her finger across the screen as she walked out of the room.

"Hey Lo, what's up?" said Chloe. I tuned my ears into their conversation.

"Chloe, you're not going to believe what happened last night," Lois said quickly. I smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Okay, fill me in."

"So you remember why I left Metropolis?"

"How could I forget your one-sided affections for a certain heroic man in vibrant blue tights."

"Right, well, he came here," Lois told Chloe.

"Superman was in Gotham last night?"

"Not just in Gotham, cuz, in my apartment!"

"What!" Chloe said in shock. "Well, what did he say? Are you sure it was actually him?"

"Chloe, the man has saved my life 42 times, 56 if you count the times he did it as the Blur. I'd recognize those pecks and big blue eyes anywhere, plus he was wearing the cape."

"What was he doing there?" asked Chloe quickly, I could tell she was developing a whole slew of questions to interrogate me with as soon as she was off the phone.

"I was confused about that too. So naturally my hope got the better of me, and in classic Lois-form, I boorishly spilled my guts to him, all before he could tell me that he was just there on strict JLA business," Lois explained.

"Oh boy, and what was his reaction to your proclamations?"

"Well, he shot me down of course, but it wasn't as awful as I'd thought it would be. It was a bit sad, to be honest, and not just for me."

"What do you mean?"

"He told me it wasn't that he didn't want to feel anything for me, it was just that he couldn't."

"Meaning?"

"He said if he got too close to someone, it could become a weakness for him, and that was something, as Superman, he couldn't afford."

"Wow."

"I know, he's so damn noble. But I think he's really lonely, Chloe."

"It sounds like it, but at least he's got his super friends to keep him company, right?" Chloe said, trying to reassure Lois.

"Yeah, but from the impression I got, he wouldn't even risk a relationship with the Amazonian Wonder Wench," said Lois, her nickname for Diana made me chuckle, "It's like he's decided he has to live a life without love."

"Well, maybe that's the curse of being a super hero. They don't get to lead normal lives," said Chloe.

"I guess so. But, I just wish he could be a part of the humanity he fights so hard to protect. Our ability to love is one of the greatest things human beings have to offer," Lois said sadly.

"Lois, he may know love better than you think. Love makes you do stupid things, and the stupid things he could get up to are on a super scale."

"I know, he's probably smart to live like that. I should let it go, but I just wish he didn't have to be alone."

"He's a big boy, I'm sure that he can take care of himself. But you're right, you do need to let it go. I have feeling he won't visit you again, and you can't keep torturing yourself with this Lois. You moved to Gotham to start new, and focus on cracking open the biggest corruption stories this country has to offer."

"I know, and I am. I called because I wanted you to know that I feel better about the whole Superman thing than I have in years. Getting an explanation from him really helped. It doesn't close the hole entirely, but I think I'm finally on the mend."

I couldn't help but grin, following my instincts last night had helped Lois. When I decided to change history, I hadn't anticipated that she would still be so deeply attached to Superman. I thought that if she didn't know Clark Kent, she wouldn't know the feelings we'd shared. I suppose I had underestimated the depth of our compatibility on multiple levels. I didn't want to hurt her anymore, and was glad to hear that she might start to move on with her life, sans Superman.

"That's great, Lois."

"Thanks for listening, cuz. But I gotta go now, I'm chasing a juicy lead about Gotham's former DA. I'll call ya later."

"Okay, good luck, and be careful," Chloe warned.

"You know me, I'm always careful," Lois quipped back playfully, "and who knows, if I play my cards right I might get to meet the Bat-guy! Ooh, or maybe that Nightwing dude, his spandex suits him almost as well as Superman's does."

A twinge of jealousy jabbed at me inside my chest, and my nose involuntarily crinkled.

"You've seriously got to work on your hero fetish," Chloe laughed.

"I'm just kidding Chlo, but I really have to go now. Love ya!"

"Love you too, bye!"

The phone call ended, and I heard Chloe coming my way. When she came around the corner, she was fuming.

"Clark Kent you have some serious explaining to do, Mister!" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You promised after Lois started to fall for you after those interviews you gave her-"

"I still let Lois interview me?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, after she wrote all of those pro-hero stories, you said that she was the only journalist you would trust to write your's," said Chloe, "But then she got attached, so you stopped, and you started giving your interviews directly to Perry. Even if you didn't remember that, why would you go see Lois? I'm in JLA and I know that Lois isn't on our radar right now..."

Her voice trailed off, as she put two and two together. I shifted uncomfortably.

"She was the one, wasn't she? She was your wife," she asked softly.

"Yes, she was," I answered. Chloe clapped her hand to her forehead, and plopped down next to me.

"You're right, she's the last person I'd expect you to marry. I mean, back when she visited Smallville in high school, you hated each other. You've avoided her like she was kryptonite ever since then. Well, except when you were saving her...wait, actually, maybe it does make sense."

"It does?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I always thought it was a bit weird the way you always kept an eye out for her, given your vehement distaste for her personality. When I asked you about it, you told me you did it because the world needed people with Lois's journalistic integrity as much as they needed heroes. Now, I'm thinking it might have been more than that," Chloe concluded.

"Probably," I admitted.

We sat there for a long while, both of us just trying to process all the new facts. I had warned my past self not to let Lois get close, and it seemed he'd been unable to manage it. He'd taken endless precautions to keep clear of her, but somehow she'd still managed to work her way into his heart, and he into hers. I found myself wondering if I would have been drawn to Earth even if Krypton had never been destroyed, all because Lois was here. All things considered it seemed highly probable.

Earth needed me and I wanted to use my abilities for a greater purpose, but I often found myself wishing that I could just be...human. I could live my life the way I wanted then. I could have a normal life with Lois, have children, raise them together, and grow old. Lois could always tell when I was feeling isolated from humanity, she knew how to bring me back. She'd remind me of what the world could have been if I hadn't stopped Zod, or Darksied, or she'd tell me I needed a few hours off so that she could show me just how much I was loved... I sighed heavily, this sucked.

"Clark," Chloe began, "maybe you shouldn't shut Lois out."

"Chloe-"

"Hear me out, you went back in time to stop yourself from falling in love with her, to keep her safe, and yet here in the future you two are still head over heels for each other."

"I won't risk her life again, and if I go back to her, one way or another she'll be in danger because of who I am," I said.

"But-"

"No! Chloe when she died, the Clark you know, the Superman you know died right with her! I left Earth, and flew aimlessly through space for two weeks. For the first time I didn't feel like Earth was my home, protecting it seemed futile. Then the rage set in, I came back and found Lex. I destroyed three city blocks, pummeling him into the ground. I kill...killed him, with my bare hands. His body was unrecognizable and it didn't silence my anger at all! I was riddled with remorse, fury, self hatred, and bottomless grief. I locked myself up at the farm, and you came to see me. I told you that I was going to turn myself in to the government, and tell them how to execute me, so I wouldn't be a danger to society any longer. But, then you handed me the Legion ring, and told me to make my own choice, but that the world needed Superman."

"So, I can't be with Lois, not only because it puts her at risk, but also because in a world where Lois isn't alive and well, I become a murderer, a threat to Earth, anything but hero."