Bloody hell, he must be tripping harder than he thought. Donaghan Tremlett felt sure he was staring at a Chocolate Frog card featuring himself.
He held it up to his bandmates, asking, "What the fuck is going on?"
"Am I seriously hallucinating, or did I somehow get on this card? Or maybe I exist in the card? If I exist in the card, how could I get back out of the card?"
"Do I really have that much hair? For the love of Merlin, someone should have told me to manscape that shite!"
Heathcote and Myron were rolling on the floor laughing, Myron so hard he snorted. Orsino mumbled about cutting Donaghan off. The arsehole meant just for tonight, right, or could it be for good? Either way, Donaghan figured he had better take a big swig from the bottle in front of him, in case it happened to be his last chance.
Herman just rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like, "Fucking figures."
The card declared him the bass player for The Weird Sisters. Ok, that part was true. The band's biggest hits were listed as "Do The Hippogriff", "Magic Works", and "This is the Night".
"Ha! Heathcote, you git, you wish the tripe you wrote, where 'Hippogriff' passes as a thinly veiled innuendo for shagging, reached hit status!" Donaghan cackled.
It also noted Donaghan's favorite Quidditch team to be the Kenmare Kestrels.
"Those wankers? No way! I support the Wigtown Wanderers. Everyone knows that! Or maybe, now no one knows it because of this bloody card?"
None of his mates seemed to want to answer his questions. Donaghan waved the card angrily in their faces demanding answers! He started in on accusations.
"Impersonation!"
"Libel!"
"I'll break up the band if you don't start talking!"
The next morning, Donaghan woke up on the sofa, with small, shredded pieces of his Chocolate Frog card scattered around him. He covered his eyes with his arm and moaned. Not again. Everyone knew better than to let him get ahold of his trading card in the state he had been last night. He heard a snigger to his left. Opening one eye, he caught Myron staring at him from a chair.
"You kept on yelling at "card Donaghan" that he needed to stop spreading malicious rumors about you liking the Kestrals. When he wouldn't retract his statement, you sought retribution by tearing him up," Myron smirked.