Summary: Fiona starts to question her sexuality when Dallas enters her life. Why is it that she is so attracted to him? She was so sure that she was lesbian after all the girls she liked. But the real big question is: will Fiona be able to trust Dallas after all her past boyfriends?
Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi, and if I did then I will stare at Demetrius and Luke 24/7, and there will be no progress. I don't own the song Heart Attack by Trey Songz.
Couples: Fiona/Dallas also mentions of Adam/Fiona, Eli/Clare, Imogen/Fiona and Bianca/Drew.
A/N: I hate it when it's about to happen and then BAM someone saves her...not this time. This chapter is long, but I couldn't stop! Next one might be shorter.
A Touch Of Realism: Confused
Its been a month and now I'm back in Ontario. I don't want to go home so Holly J. can just ask me how Declan is, over and over again, so, I think I'm going to make a quick stop at the Dot. Turns out Declan isn't dying, I think. Declan has been looking better, but he's still in the hospital. His chest pain when he breaths isn't as bad as usual. Declan's getting diagnosed with chest X-rays, something with sputum induction the doctor said it's a special lab test examining discharge, he also has to do some blood test.
I walked in the Dot and walked up to the counter.
"Um," I started "Can I get an...Americano to go?"
He nodded and I gave him my money.
In the corner of my eye I saw someone walk next to me. I slowly turned my head. When he looked at me I quickly turned my head back to the workers.
"Fiona," he paused "You didn't give me a chance to say hi last month."
"What do you want Bobby?" I snapped.
He threw his hands up "Just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl," I snapped my head towards him.
"You're joking right?" I squinted at him. I saw one of the workers come and hand me my Americano, I turned back at the worker "Thank you," I turned back to Bobby "Don't answer that I have to go," I turned on my heel and walked away, I heard his feet behind me.
I walked out and Bobby grabbed my hand "Let me go!" I smacked his hand away and kept walking. He grabbed my hand again, but only tighter "Bobby!" I turned and looked at him "Let me go!"
He didn't reply. He only dragged me into the alley behind the Dot. When I tried to yell he would put his hand over my mouth, which wasn't projecting my voice so someone could hear me clearly.
"Help! Someone help!" I hollered. Bobby put his hand over my mouth. What was he doing? I thought. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt cold hands touch my stomach. My eyes shot back open and looked down at my shirt being pulled up. I whimpered. I was helpless right now. He tugged on my pants. I started kicking trying to make him stop, but he only put his knee on my leg holding it close to the brick wall. The tears were streaming down my face. He uncovered my mouth and began pulling on my pants.
"AH! Someone help!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He put his arm on my mouth. I tasted the lotion he had on. I hesitated at first but then I just bit into his arm, my mouth slipped at first from the lotion, but I still got a good grip. He let go for a quick second, but before I could try and run he quickly grabbed my arm, he sent a quick but hard slap across my face. I whimpered. He pulled me and slammed me on the brick wall. I hit my head on the brick wall pretty hard and it almost knocked me unconscious, but I saw a little color and that was white...the shirt Bobby was wearing. I was slowly fading away.
I awoke. I rubbed my head as it throbbed. I began to cry as the pain started to kick in. I remember half the things that happened with me and Bobby. Last memory I had was when he was touching my stomach. I don't recall what happen afterwards its blurry, I see a picture, but I don't see what's happening. I felt...dirty. I didn't know what was happening. Is this because of the court thing? Who knows, but Bobby and God.
I hadn't realise I was shaking. Why? What happen to me? I thought. Was thinking about this really making me feel traumatized?
I heard footsteps.
"Stay away from me," I said softly. I started to back up, hitting hard rocks and a couple of glass pieces.
"Fiona," the footsteps came closer "Its me."
I tried to see who it was but it was to dark for me to see anything. I just saw the outline of their body. I tried to focus my vision, it was still blurry a little, the figure was built like a man figure. My breath quicken. What if Bobby came back? I stood quickly about to run, but my legs got weak and I feel down. My knees where so weak I could barely stand, pain rushed threw them.
"Fiona, are you okay?" He asked, running up to me.
"Who are you?" I said with my voice cracking a little.
He bent down next to me "Dallas," I whispered. I threw my arms around him and he didn't hesitate when he wrapped them around me. Dallas started to get up and he helped me up.
"What happen? Are you alright?" He asked. I could tell there was concern in his voice. I was grateful someone cared.
"I don't remember what happen," he was silent.
I almost feel again, but Dallas wrapped his arm around my waist "Fallin' for me already?" He joked.
"Not the time," I stood up "Can you take me home?" I asked. I wasn't walking home alone, Bobby could easily do if he saw me.
I opened the door to my apartment "Holly J.!" I hollered "Hello?" I guess she went back to college.
Dallas closed the door behind us "I don't think she's here," he stated.
I turned to him "I know, now," I looked around.
Dallas put his hands in his pocket "I'm just saying, there's always that dumb girl who comes home yelling and a little bit later, she's dead," he replied.
My blue eyes meet his brown ones. It looked like he actually had a heart, that cared.
"Let me go!...Bobby!...Let me go!"
I shook my head "So, tell me about your team," I asked. I had to get my mind off of Bobby some how and in hopes, Dallas could do that for me.
He squinted "What do you want to know?" He asked.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him "Just what are you to them, I guess," I sat him on my bed and sat next to him.
He laughed "Um, I guess I'm like their big brother," he paused "I'm a little over-protective over them, but it's simple you mess with my Team, it's like you're messing with me."
I chuckled. Dallas is the perfect thing to get your mind off of things, but I was still half listening. In the back of my mind was Bobby and what happen was going threw my head. I bit into my cheek keeping the tears from coming down. Don't think about Bobby! This about Dallas! I told myself.
"So, you going to tell me what happen back there?" He smirked.
I shook my head "I really don't remember."
His smirk went away "I would have an idea, looking at how your shirt was button low and your pants were unzipped."
My breath quicken. I didn't want to believe that Bobby did it, all the signs were there. I started to shake and tears started to fall.
"Fiona," Dallas wrapped his arms around me "Is there something, you want to tell me?"
I shook my head quickly "No! I don't know for sure!"
"You don't know what?"
"If it actually happen. If I actually had...sex," I looked up at Dallas. I wiped my tears.
"You don't remember?"
"I don't want to believe it, but I think he...raped me," I began to cry more.
"He? Who is he?"
"My ex-boyfriend, all the signs are there, last memory was him dragging me, pulling my shirt up..." I trailed off.
"You don't have to talk about it," he stood up, I stood up also "I should go, Torres, would be mad if I didn't get home and you should rest, try and get your thoughts together."
We both started to walk towards the door.
"I'll see you at school," I said and hugged him tightly.
He wrapped his arm around me. We both pulled away from the hug slowly, Dallas hands went to my waist "You'll see me at school," he replied. We were inches away from each other. I looked at his stomach and slowly up to his brown eyes. I slowly put my hand on his cheek. I was surprised at my own actions when I kissed him. Dallas pulled me closer to his body. I slowly put my hand behind his neck pulling him closer, trying to deepen the kiss. It wasn't rough it wasn't soft it was just how I like it. It was hard to describe the way I felt about-
"You're not hearing me, he never hit me! He never pulled me down the stairs, I made it all up!"
"Haven't you heard? I'M CRAZY!"
"Do you think you're crazy?"
"No, but I think you're a bitch!"
"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone. Holly J.'s leaving me, Charlie doesn't love me. I'm unlovable."
I pulled away from the kiss.
An uncomfortable yet familiar lump had formed in my throat, and I found that I couldn't bring myself to look directly into Dallas eyes. I was afraid the hidden pain in my own eyes would betray my words. "I'm sorry," I apologized.
"Its fine Fiona," he opened the door "School? I'll see you there," I nodded "Oh. And by the way, if any man hits a woman, he's no man," he walked out the door and he closed the door softly.
I ran into my room and laid on my bed. A tear slid down my face and landed softly on the pillow beneath my head. I longed to be loved. To feel cherished. I knew in my heart that I was capable or at least had been capable of, returning that same kind of love to a man, or woman, who was willing to give his, or her, whole heart to me. I thought I had found the woman in Imogen Moreno, but I knew now that no women, or man, could ever be trusted. I would guard my heart and never let another man, or woman, cause me the kind of pain I was feeling now. The reminder of my past hurts enough to keep me from ever falling in love again.
Just let it all out! I thought to myself
I slowly got up and wiped my tears. I finally let everything out. I sighed. I turned over and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. I sighed when I saw Imogen had sent 10 texts.
Fiona I'm sorry about what I said, out of line!
I understand that you're mad, but do you really not need to show up for school?
Call me back, please, I'm extremly sorry and I hope we can forget and forgive.
its been two weeks...are you dead?!
I spoke to Holly J. she said you were with Declan. Is he okay?
Four weeks Fiona, where are you! Still with Declan? Do you want to get held back?!
I didn't bother reading the rest, I don't want to deal with Imogen right now. I grabbed my Ipod and played a song about how I was feeling right now.