Chapter Three
Exerpt from How to be Perfect, pg 10.
We Mary-sues are fragile beings. One hit will bruise our porcelain wight skin, and ruin our glow. Every Mary-sue needs their own Knight in shinning armor, to gallop to our rescue and slay the dragon! To protect us from evil, and love us so much they would lay their life down, so we do not step in mud. Mary-sues are not strong, but when pushed to her limit will produce so much energy and strength, she will concer the world in a matter of minuets.
"WAC HA!" Dango screamed karate chopping her training post, and watching in starvation as it crumbled into splinters.
"Waah! So cool! Dango let me try! WOTCHA CHAR CHAR!" Ai yelled a tree crumbling.
"OH YEAH? BEAT THIS! HEY YAW!" Saya kicked the Hokage mountain and watched as it crumbled into dust.
Ai grinned, grabbing a diamond she had pulled out of the ground. "WAAA BACHAAAAA!~" with just a little chakra, she crumpled the diamond into dust.
"NO! MY DIAMOND!" Dango screamed into the heavens! "I WAS WAITING FOR IT TO GROW!"
"Diamonds don't grow dummy." Saya said nodding sagely.
"YES THEY DO! Ronicca would have grown into a beautiful diamond tree! Then we would have gotten married on top of a mountain!(I got this from a fan video..Of Kesame and Itachi...) but you crushed that too!" Dango wailed.
"Bah, all you do is bitch, moan, and emo. grow up Dango." Ai sniffed tossing her hair behind her shoulder.
"Yeah. Were ninja now. We need to grow up." Saya agreed.
Dango stared at her friends hurt.
And with that she ran away balling her eyes out and wailing for her mommy.
Ai spazed running after Dango. "Wait! Dango I didn't mean it!"
Dango sniffed turning to Ai.
"Y you mean it?" OvO
"Of course! It was not right of me to say such ungodly horrible things to you!" Ai said, tears clouding over her beautiful pale blue eyes.
Dango let tears well up in her own goddess like eyes of molten silver.
"AI!"
"DANGO!" The two youthful girls hugged each other, tears flowing to the ground. where ever they hit beautiful plants sprouted from the ground, blooming roses of all different colors.
Saya sniffed feeling left out.
"I wish to be part of the magic Marry-Sueness!"
"SAYA!~" Ai and Dango enveloped Saya into a hug. they started crying happily, and more plants enveloping the three konichis.
Natsume-Sensei thought she would be sick.
"Yes well why don't we ask the Hokage for an S-Class mission." Natsume said brightly.
'And that will kill them. And if not, they will be mentally scared... forever heheheheheheh' Natsume thought evilly.
"NO WAY WE GET TO TAKE ON A CRIMINAL AHHHHHH I'M SO EXCITED!" Ai screamed, in her high pitched voice. "IF THAT DOESN'T GET SHIKA-KUNS ATTENTION NOTHING WILL!"
"NARUTO MY SECRET LOVE, YOU WILL ALSO NOTICE ME!"Dango yelled passionately.
"KAKASHI HATAKE! I LOVE YOU! I DON'T CARE IF YOUR LIKE FIFTY YEARS OLDER THAN ME! AND ITS CREEPER!" Saya screamed into the heavens.
"AAAAAACHOOOO!" Kakashi Hatake and Naruto Uzumaki sneezed at the same time, this sneeze was also accompanied by the feeling of chills going down there backs.
"I have a bad feeling." Naruto admitted looking around nervously.
"Hmmm..." Kakashi Hummed in thought.
Shikamaru let out a small squeaky sneeze and sniffed in thought.
"Troublesome"
Ai grinned, spinning around singing Mary had a little lamb in a beautiful voice that made birds cry and fall out of the sky. Saya grinned, and sang along. together they made the heavens weep and birds die because it sounded so beautiful.
Dango wilted feeling leftered out. she soon decided to find Naruto and stalk him... after... taking care of a particular hyuuga... no one would find her after she was done.
"Muhahahahahahah."
Hinata gave a tiny sneeze and looked around.
'M-Maby I s-should l-leave... i can s-stalk N-Naruto-kun l-latter...'
Ai smiled, following Natsume-sencei like the stalker Mary Sue she is. They went into the Hokage building, to ask for a s-rank mission.
"Ah, Natsume-San, did your team pass?" The Hokage asked curiously.
"Hai. I came for an S-Class mission."
Iruka, who had been siting next to the Hokage, did a spit take and started choking. the Hokage blinked and rose an eyebrow.
"There only genins."
"...No...They... Are... Itachis."
Silence filled the room...
"You mean to say..." Iruka whispered.
"Mary-Sue." Natsume whispered, chills went down everyone but Ai's spine. She smiled sweetly, flowers and candy emanating from her pores. The Hokage shuddered, attempting to cover it up with a shrug.
"Please, Hokage-Sama-"
"There still genin. Just... keep an eye on them and hope it dies down." Hokage said sadly.
"Get a D-rank." Iruka murmured pointing to a pile of small scrolls.
"But...I want to test my skills! I WILL PROTECT MY COMRADES IF IT KILLS ME DAMN IT! I mean, um...please?" Ai looked at the Hokage, big blue doe eyes blinking innocently.
"No." =.= Hokage and Iruka monotoned. Natsume-Sensei cried emoly and grabbed a scroll at random.
"Painting a fence."
.
.
.
TT,TT ← Natsume-Sensei's face.
"Then if I must protect my friends by painting a fence...I WILL PAINT THE BEST FENCE EVER! FOR DANGO! AND SAYA! AND NATSUME-SENSEI!" Ai screamed, doing a super man pose.
Iruka died a little inside, feeling sorry for Natsume.
The Hokage smiled.
'at least the Mary Sues are always loyal...'
"NARUTO-KUN I LOVE YOU!" echoed threw the tower...
The Hokage cried emoly inside.
000
Dango stood in the shadows, watching team 7, more specifically, Naruto.
"Oh Naruto how i wish to ravish you under the moon~"
Naruto felt chills go down his back and he looked around nervously, but finding nothing went back to picking up garbage from the lake.
"Oh Naruto..." Dango sighed wishfully.
"Ever since that day you saved me from eternal loneliness~"
Flash back:
Naruto walked past Dango in the halls.
"Hey."
"eh?"
Dango watched Naruto go to class.
Flash back end:
"NARUTO-KUN I LOVE YOU!"
"AHHHHHH!" Naruto fell over, landing in the water with a splash. he surfaced, coughing and sputtering.
Dango gasped and covered her mouth.
Sasuke looked over at the bush Dango was hiding in and rose an eyebrow.
Dango felt it... dah power...
"YOU SASUKE-SAN ARE A FUTURE STEVIE-STU!"
"Stevie-Stu!"
"Stevie-Stu!"
This echo rounded though out the village, finally resting heavily on the Hokage brain. he groaned, rubbing his temples wearily.
"Why did you have to die, Yondame? And leave me to have to deal with the Mary/Stevie Sue/Stu?"
"WAH CHAR CHAR CHE CHAR!"
CRUNCH!
"LIKE OMG I'M SO SORRY FOR BREAKING YOUR HOUSE!" Saya yelled brightly.
"Kami take me now."
Are you still alive? I doubt it... Anyway... Review please? With sugar on top?