Ungodly Horrible Fan Fiction

by NunuSama

The dreaded Book. It has made its way into the Naruto Universe and converted three young ninja into its holiness. If one can read the book with out there eyes burning and melting out of there head, that one could hold unimaginable power. Sasuke decides he wants this power too...But there's a catch, not only dose he have to deal with the three that hold the book, He has to be nice.

5. Becomeing Steavy Stu

Chapter Five -Becomeing Stevy Stu-

Exerpt from How To Be Perfect Pg 329

Becoming a Sue Stu is a delecate process, not many can servive the transaction. Usualy their body will wilt and decay from the power of perfection. Some times one even spontainiusly combusts! But if your need for perfect power is strong, you will become perfect. You will sepperate yourself from filthy imperficts, and gain unimaginable power.

Dango paused in her reading as sasuke started druling.

First you must compliment everyone. Even if they look discusting, horrid, and dirty. Its is the way.

"Well there's your first step Sasuke-Kun. Complement everyone for the rest of the day." Dango said shutting her book. Sasuke looked horrified at the mere thought.
"Well there is one good thing about Mary-sues, they always have something nice to say." Sakura said.
"Eh? when did you get hear?" Saya asked.
"I've been hear the whole time!" Sakura shouted in anger.
"Oh... I like your hair." Saya said, defusing Sakura's temper sucsesfuly. Ai nodded, walking over and petting her head.

"How do you get it so soft?" She asked wide eyed. Sakura smiled and toched the tip of her hair.
"I used some stay in conditioner. It was expensive but totaly worth it!" Sakura said brightly.

"Sasuke-Kun dont you have something nice to say to Sakura?" Dango asked nudging him in the ribs. Sasuke twiched...

"..."
"Its the way" Ai said sagely.
"...I...Like your... hair." Sasuke ground out eye twiching madly.
"Sasuke-kun! KYAAAA!" Sakura squealed in delight scaring Naruto and causing him to go deff.
"Good job Sasuke!" Ai said in delight clapping her hands.

"Can we go?" Kakashi asked with a sigh.
"Oh yeah, we forgot you were on a mission!" Saya said brightly. Kakashi just sighed and started walking, the old man (Who was forgotten) followed in awe of the Marry-sue's and the Stevy-Stu.

Suddenly Naruto tensed and tossed a few kuni into a random bush.
"THERE!"
"NARUTO!" Sakura yelled while Dago pulled out minn flages with chibi narutos on them and waved them.
"Goooooo NARUTO! Whooo!" Dango laughed and waved her flages, nudgeing Sasuke.
"Dobe...err...Yay. Go Naruto." Sasuke said in a deadpan voice.

Mean while everyone else stared at a scared bunny.
"Oh you poor thing! look what you did naruto!" Sakura scolded. Naruto just frowned and glanced around.
"I could have sworn someone was there..."
"How could you have known?" Saya asked raising an eyebrow.
"I heard there heart beat of course." Naruto said as if it was the most obviuse thing in the world.

"Steavy-stu alert!" Dango stage whispered to Ai who nodded.

"OH I'M A LITTLE TEA POT SHORT AND STOUT! HERE IS MY HANDLE HERE IN MT SPOUT!" Dango sang, well more or less screatched. her friends clapped happily, while team 7 cringed. Ai nudged Sasuke in the side and he reluctantly clapped as well.

"Sencei, who where those men any ways?" Naruto asked, feeling a little curious. Kakashi didn't look away from his book, but hummed in thought.

"I beleive thoes where the Oni Brothers, from the Mist village. They are hired assassins and specialise in poisoned weapons-"

"JUST TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!" Dango cut into the two's conversation, skipping in between them. Naruto glared unhappily. Dango smiled and hugged Naruto, stuffing his face in her perfect assets.

"TRUE LOVE SHALL NOT BE CAST USUNDER BY HORRIBLE TEACHERS!" Ai yelled, grinning happily. Saya nodded striking a super man pose. Sakura frouned, raising an eyebrow.
Sasuke twitched, then raised a small flag with a chibi naruto on it, waving it slightly.
"No! you must wave it more grandly!" Ai took his hand and waved it spazing. Sasuke smacked her and she let go, pouting.

"Eh?" Kakashi looked up, blinking in confusion.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Naruto yelled hiding from Dango. Suddenly Kakashi's head snaped up.
"EVERYONE DUCK!"
"WHERE!" Dango asked looking around for a duck as a huge as sword cut twords her. Naruto tackled her before her head was cut off and the sword imbedded into a tree.
"Oh Naruto-Kun! You saved me from that deadly sword! Marry me!~" Dango said cupping narutos cheeks with her hands.
"uh...no."
(HAHA!)
"OH! OH! ITS A SWORD! I WIN!" Ai yelled pointing at the huge sword jumping hyperly. Sasuke grunted, helping sakura up. she blushed and thanked him happily.

"NO AI! ITS A MASKED MAN WITH PAJAMAS" Saya yelled, pointing at the man who had now randomly decided to seal his fate by showing his face to the Mary Sues.

He should have stayed in bed this morning.