Pain
warning: Shonan-ai. angst. a lot of it.
Disclaimer: once again i don't own Naruto. and the song The Reason.
A/N: Sasuke's POV aftyer he left naruto. the next chapter: Sakura!!!
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I'm sorry Naruto. So so sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I fought you. I'm sorry I cursed. I'm sorry I left you. But above all, I'm sorry I wasn't perfect. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. If only I was more strong…
But no matter how many times I will say that I'm sorry, you wouldn't hear me, because I left you behind, on the verge of death. Please Naruto, hate me. Because I know that if you love me, you will just get hurt. And I don't want you to get hurt because… I love you.
Yeah, you herd right. I, the great Uchiha Sasuke, likes- no love- the biggest Dobe in the village, Uzumaki Naruto. And there is nothing that going to change it.
I'm sorry Naruto that I lied to you. I didn't go to Orochimaru so I could get stronger to kill my brother, Itach. I went to Orochimaru to get more power so I could protect you. I went so I could learn more and more, so I get stronger every passing day. And when the time comes, I will kill both Orochimaru and Itachi, bring you their heads and say that I love you.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I want to change, Naruto. I don't want to remain the same cold hearted bastard I was when I first met you. I want to learn how to laugh, how to cry and most of all, how to love.
I want to start a new page in my life. I don't want anymore to aveng my family by killing Itachi. Sure, I still wants him to pay but now… it's no longer the most important thing in my life, Naruto. That thing is you.
You are my reason to change.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
Don't think I didn't saw how the villagers treated you, Naruto. How they cursed and beated you every day. I don't know why they did that but I wish I knew. I wish I could just hold you in my arms and make you feel better. I want to make you smile and laugh like you always do. But I can't, Naruto, I can't.
I can't because the cause of half of the tears that you cry is me. And don't try to hide it, Naruto, because you I know it's the truth. When we were young, all the village people hated you, so I needed to hate you, too, so I didn't fail my family. When we grew up and my family was… gone… you and I were already rivals so I couldn't suddenly say I didn't hate you.
Don't try to bring me back Naruto. Hate me, don't forgive me. Because I don't forgive myself. Because I hate myself. I'm not worthy of your smile, of your laugh, of your attention. I'm already tainted while you are poor as snow.
But maybe don't anymore, ne Naruto? I betrayed you. You suddenly realized what a monster I am. So please, stay away. Don't let me hurt you anymore.
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
I don't know when I first saw the real you, Naruto. Not the masked one, but the real Uzumaki Naruto. I think it was after my family was murdered by Itachi. I set by the river alone, and cried. Then suddenly you set next to me. I tried to stop my tears so my rival wouldn't see me it that state. And then you said: "It's alright to cry when you feel sad, Sasuke. You should cry when you are sad, and laugh when you're happy. Because if you didn't do it, Sasuke, you wouldn't be human".
After that, you just got up and left. But I remember every moment from that memory. It's one of my most precious one. That moment, you should the real you. And I wanted to show you the real me.
But not anymore, Naruto. I can't because I don't want to cause you more…
Pain.
A/N: Review? please?