No guys, I didn't die on my vacation ;D I'M BACK! With chapter twelve! (: Sorry for the long wait, I had to finish summer assignments :L My teacher's are twisted sadists I tell you...

Anywho, special thanks to Narutopokefan for the quote 'Forgiveness is the virtua of the brave.' - Ghandi. I do not own the quote, niether does Narutopokefan, but Ghandi... I give you props ;o.

Warning: A more, darker chapter involving Sasuke again, but there's a sweet ending in store ;o. This chapter really took a mind of it's own... o.o And sorry if this fic is going a tad too slow, but I am realistic and I like to build things up to the heartwarming romance! So bear with me, please? :3

Disclaimer: I would be lying if I said I owned Naruto.

Enjoy :D

Chapter Twelve: Forgiveness

"I heard a quote once that went like this: 'Forgiveness is the virtue of the brave'. I don't think I'll ever find forgiveness. I'll never be redeemed for the sins I've done..." - Sasuke Uchiha, age 17.

They were kissing. Actually kissing. One pair of lips latched onto another pair of lips. Sasuke couldn't think straight. His mind was a pile of pink jell-o, and for now he liked it that way. He didn't want to think because one train of thought would lead to another train of thought of how wrong it was to openly kiss Naruto like this and then that would cause him to abruptly end the kiss. Sasuke didn't want to end it at all. If he could, he would have froze time on this very moment when he was finally reconnected with Naruto. No one else would matter but Naruto. He could slowly forget the past because all he needed to know and remember was the feel of the blonde's body underneath him and the soft caresses from his lips.

It was soo wrong but boy did it feel so, freaking, right.

'I missed this...' he thought, though this was only their second kiss. 'I missed him.' Sasuke couldn't believe he had allowed Orochimaru to gain such control on him. No one was allowed to tamper with his memories, especially dealing with the blonde. More memories assaulted him, a wave crashing against the pearly shores. Film strips fluttered by involving him and Naruto. Some were actual, life-changing events. Their meeting in the forest. The Ball where they danced the night away. The day they were brutally separated...

Separation can change a person. Most times it's not for the better. Sasuke had changed immensely. He noticed the changes, and he wasn't proud of any of them. He felt his humanity slipping away bit by bit. Naruto kept him grounded though. The boy was his anchor that kept the waves of Life from dragging him deeper into the sea of the damned. He realized he could never go back to what he was. Death had been his companion way too many times. Blood stained his hands more times than he could count. They were calloused from extensive sword use. So much so that his sword was now an extension of himself. He was no longer human. That much was sure. His humanity was ripped to shreds by Orochimaru. He was nothing more than a puppet used to kill.

There was no road of redemption for him...

When the lack of air became evident, Sasuke pulled back. His breath hitched in his throat as he caught the beautiful sight below him. Naruto's cheeks were an adorable red. Full lips were parted as the blonde desperately tried to catch his breath. Blue eyes were blanketed by lust and half-lidded. He was absolutely stunning...

No one else mattered right now but Naruto. It was always Naruto. No matter what. A shaky, almost timid, hand reached out to stroke Naruto's rosy cheek. Sasuke gulped audibly. The touch felt so... real. So... hot, almost burning. He immediately pulled the hand away. It burned too much... There was obvious signs of confusion and worry overtaking the clouds of passion in Naruto's eyes, and Sasuke couldn't bare to look. Not in this state. No one as defiled as he was deserved the honor of staring into such beautiful, blue eyes.

"Sasuke..." Naruto's voice was a mere whisper, but to Sasuke the noise had his soul shaking like an earthquake. "Come on... look at me." 'I can't...' "Sasuke..."a hand reached out, attempting to touch the raven's face... but it was slapped away.

"Sasuke? What the hell—?"

"Don't touch me..." the words, they were like acid on Sasuke's tongue. It made his mouth throb and his heart clench unbearably. The look of hurt that flashed through Naruto's face was another slash through Sasuke's aching heart. He had to do this. Naruto deserved better. Sasuke couldn't allow his feelings and urges to get the better of him, not when he was so damned as he was now. Naruto was the light, and Sasuke... he was a fallen angel. The two did not go together. One was innocent, and one was tarnished in Sasuke's mind. He couldn't bare to bring Naruto into such a dark world he himself had fallen into long ago...

That's why he had to do everything in his power to push Naruto away. It was the only way he could think of to regain some redemption.

Sasuke forced the sounds of Naruto's pleas, the whispers of rumors generating around the room, the looks of scorn, disapproval, awe, and... pain away, and focused on the numbness that was slowly overtaking his body. The numbness would help. It would ease all his emotions that were screaming out for him to stop being so irrational. His mind was constantly berating him for the decision he was about to make.

Don't push Naruto away! He's your anchor, isn't he? Keep him!

'I don't deserve him...'

It wasn't your fault! It was Orochimaru's!

'I'm still dirtied. I still killed. I can't be saved. And I can't drag him down with me...'

With one last, desperate, look towards the blonde... Sasuke pulled away. Small gasps and murmurs circulated around the room, but Sasuke didn't pay any attention. He simply turned his back on them, Naruto, and proceeded towards the staircase. The crowd split like the Red Sea, allowing Sasuke easy pass. Each step up the staircase sounded like someone was banging a drum near his ear. It reverberated around his body, mind, and soul, so much so that Sasuke's legs were wobbling by the time he reached the final step. He felt beady, golden eyes staring right through him, but he bared through it as he made the hellishly long trip to his bedroom.

As he brushed passed Orochimaru, the man whispered:

"Good show."

Sasuke's veins felt heavy with ice afterward.

+Eclipse: Three Weeks of Torment Later+

Sasuke never once left his room unless absolutely necessary, and sometimes that was even a rarity. He refused to communicate with the outside world, not while he was so... fucked up, for a lack of better words. The raven had holed himself in his room until he was able to sort out who exactly he was. It was so... weird. He felt so empty at times, like a shell abandoned by a crab. Fury shook through his body from time to time, directed straight at Orochimaru. The man had played him perfectly. Sasuke had no idea how he'd managed to succumb to the man's will, but he had... and now... he was so dirty.

There would be times when memories Sasuke's mind had repressed seeped through his dreams, scarring him heavily. A man he killed only to test his abilities. The woman prostitute who had toyed with the wrong people. And the dying old man who wanted to be put out of his misery... All people Sasuke had slain with his own sword. Sometimes his eyes would trick him, making him believe he could see the dead walking or blood staining his hands so badly, Sasuke thought it was real. So real, that he had scurried off into the bathroom in a desperate attempt to wash his hands.

He was never satisfied until his hands were raw and itchy from continuous washing. Today was one of his good days. No nightmares. No flashbacks. No stabbing pains. No random bouts of insanity. He was simply... calm. No, that's not the word for it. Sasuke was just tired. Tired of his mentality being stretched like a rubber band only to snap back with painful reminiscences. He felt dead, in a good way (if that's even possible). His emotions didn't conflict anymore, too tired to put up a fight. For once Sasuke felt... eerily at peace.

So at peace, that he wasn't even aware of his door opening, or how close to his bed Itachi was until it was too late. The covers flew off his body, exposing his pathetic form towards the world. He gasped, instantly cowering into the bed for protection until he snapped himself out of such defense.

"Stop acting like a scared puppy and look at me, Sasuke." Itachi's voice was cold and demanding. Sasuke could find no traces of his older brother's usual playfulness or cockiness. It was one of those rare moments when Itachi meant business.

Sasuke, however, didn't want to deal with his brother, because he knew Itachi was going to force him outside that door, into the world he became so tainted in... He did not want to face that world again.

"I am not acting like a scared puppy. Now give me back my comforter, Itachi." Sasuke hissed, attempting to make a grab for his safety blanket when Itachi side-stepped to his right. Onyx eyes narrowed in anger at the figure before him who looked so... calm. Though Sasuke could sense that Itachi was trying to maintain his aura from going out of control as much as possible. "Not until you quit this 'fragile' act and set things straight with Naruto." Itachi replied calmly.

"You've been in this rut for three weeks, and I was willing to give you the time you needed even though you've never told me why you are off the deep end. But I've had enough! Do you know how much of your selfish behavior is affecting everyone? Especially Naruto who you had the damn nerve to kiss in front of all those people at your coming home party! If you think for one minute I will continue to let such foolishness go on, then you are sadly mistaken." Itachi's words were slap after slap against Sasuke's face. He knew his brother was right. He was acting like a child, foolish and selfish. Of course Naruto had come into his mind. The blonde was probably raging around like a bull about how he was coldly dismissed at the party. And he had every right to be. But you see, Sasuke did it for Naruto's sake! He couldn't tarnish such an innocent soul!

"Are you listening, Sasuke? Don't block me out. You need to hear this."

That same, irritable, calmness...

"I don't need you to tell me what to do." more like he didn't need to be told what he already knew.

"Really?" Itachi asked, fake concern laced in his words. "What a shame. Well I don't like it when my younger brother is hiding in his room like a coward!"

"You don't understand a damn thing!" Sasuke finally shot back, red slowly bleeding into his fiery onyx eyes. His fists were clenched at his sides, and he had lept off the bed ready to attack his brother if needed. Itachi looked a little peeved and sighed in exasperation before he allowed his tough facade to crumble away...

"That's because you're not letting me understand. We're brothers, yet we act like total strangers now. Obviously something must have happened on your journey that affected you so much... and all I want to do is help. But how am I supposed to do that if you shut me out?" Sasuke felt his irrational anger slowly slip away at the helplessness that slipped through the cracks in his brother's words. Realizing how unfair he was acting was a little... unnerving to say the least. He thought locking himself up until he was able to sort through things would be the best alternative for anyone. For Naruto, because innocence should never to be tarnished. For Itachi, who he was too ashamed on how ashamed and broken to speak to him face-to-face. Too ashamed to mingle with the rest of his family...

He was hiding from Orochimaru, too. Those beady, golden, eyes that never left his form for a second. Before, Sasuke realized he had admired the man, so much so he called him 'Master'. But now... he felt nothing but cold contempt towards him...

"I'm sorry..." the raven hung his head low, his voice barely a whisper. Itachi sighed once more, though out of relief that he had finally gotten through to his brother. A tired smile found its way onto his lips, and without much warning, he pulled his brother into a much needed hug. Sasuke visibly cringed, ready to push his brother away from the contact. Didn't he see how dirty he was? How could he so easily touch him? 'He doesn't even know...' Sasuke reminded himself. And then it hit him. Itachi didn't know about what he had been through. Naruto didn't know what he had been through... and he had put himself through such hellish weeks to protect the two people closest to them and they didn't even know why. From an outsider's perspective, Sasuke assumed he must have looked psychotic, even brain damaged. But, from the inside of his bubble, he felt like this was the right thing to do...

Slowly, the dominoes began to fall one by one as Sasuke collapsed into a wail as he gripped onto his brother for all he was worth. He still felt dirtied, that feeling would take a long time to simply heal and move on from. He was finally realizing that what he had been doing for the past three weeks was cowardly and weak, something an Uchiha never was, and mentally berated himself for acting as such. However, he still felt that he was no longer worthy of forgiveness...

The two raven princes stood there, clinging onto each other like some horrible force was going to drive them apart again. Wails were the only sounds being made, and all Itachi could do was hug his brother and tell him everything would be alright – that, and if he got any more tear stains his new shirt would be ruined. The comment earned a weak muffle, probably a snort, from Sasuke.

Then, the peace was ruined.

"Itachi, you bastard! I told you to talk to him! Not fucking—Oh..." Naruto's rage instantly evaporated at the sight of Sasuke and Itachi... hugging. Itachi threw a look of mock disappointment towards the blonde prince,

"I'm offended you would think I'm the cause of my brother's tears." Naruto scoffed and folded his arms across his chest.

"You can't blame me for overreacting! I mean, you're hardly tact when it comes to dealing with other people and their emotions." he heard something about 'annoying brat' and shrugged it off because... well... Sasuke was giving him quite the look.

'It's him.' That was the only logical thought going on in Sasuke's mind, at the moment. The other thoughts were borderline insane, like attempting to jump out of his window for example. Sure, the boy was about as limber as a cat, but that wouldn't help him from jumping out of a four-story window. Other thoughts were how fast he could go for the blanket before Itachi swiped it away again. And then... the last, more profound, thoughts were on how beautiful Naruto looked in the dim lighting...

Sasuke was frozen to the spot as onyx clashed with blue. Now that he was a little more stable, he could get a good sense of Naruto's aura. It was... wavering, between fury and sympathy, and then something more Sasuke couldn't describe. He wanted to say so many things. Do so many things. But his body and mouth refused to move to his orders.

'What should I do...?' All these weeks of self-isolation never prepared him for the abrupt visit from Naruto. Hell, if he was feeling somewhat normal he would have been able to sense the aura from the minute the blonde stepped foot on Luna Empire soil, because it was so distinct and well... Sasuke was always attracted to Naruto's aura anyways. But now, that the blonde was standing at him in the flesh, he couldn't do anything. Nothing like what happened at his coming home party.

"Are you two just going to stand there like statues?" Itachi asked dryly, looking back and forth between his idiot brother and his idiotic friend. With a sigh, Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose and decided he had to help these two along or they wouldn't get anywhere—literally. "Alright. How about this: If I leave you two alone for five minutes, will you be able to sort things out without using violence?"

"I make no promises," Naruto replied in a way that had Sasuke taking an involuntary back towards his bed. Itachi nodded with a small smirk on his face as he made his way for the door.

"Good," he patted the blonde's shoulder, "I like an honest man." and then walked out to leave the two princes alone.

The first sign of movement came from Naruto, when he walked up to punch Sasuke square in the jaw.

"That," Naruto said calmly, "was for leaving me like that at the ball."

Sasuke didn't recognize the burning sensation on his cheek from the punch, but he instead reacted to the words Naruto had thrown at him like daggers. They were too calm... that obviously anger was hidden beneath his words. He wanted to snap back, do something but all he could do was glare. Besides, Naruto wasn't finished yet. Sasuke was all ready to retaliate if Naruto decided to punch him again, but instead the blonde did the exact opposite of what he had expected. Naruto hugged him.

"And this..." Naruto whispered into the raven's neck, "is the welcome hug back you never got. Welcome back, Sasuke."

When I first uploaded this chapter, it was one big blob of text and I was all like "Damn it... I'll have to go through all that..."

Well anyways, show me some love with reviews! ;) Love makes the world go round people!

Till next time :]