A/N: A crackfic. Reyna. Loads of lovelorn guys. One knight in shining armor, (err, shining, anyways) who's slightly late. A long forgotten joke-turned-dare-turned-fic from Olympian RPG shoutbox, and stayed in the dark corners of my files for a couple of centuries...and that's all you need to know, really. :P

Sorry about the slight OOCness of the characters, but dear gods, let us be cracky or die. And it's intentionally made quite brisk. :3

And I dearly hope that the fellow RP characters I borrowed wouldn't sentence me to the weasel bag or something worse.

Also, a lot of thanks and big, big bundle of cookies to Kirii for beta-reading and to S. Layton for beta-testing, while they both have really busy schedules with lots of own work. You are made of awesome and win. Keep on being amazing and evil, guys! =D

Disclaimer: The Camp Half-Blood series and all the canon characters belong to Rick Riordan, and all the original characters belong to their respective role players at Olympian RPG.

~ Queen Of Hearts ~

- a bite -

Twenty-one. Two decades plus one year is a pretty long time, when you think of it. For a demigod, reaching twenty-one can almost be considered an achievement.

She was twenty-one today. Reyna's twenty-first birthday. One more year of service at camp and she would be free to go wherever she wanted. No more praetor duties weighing on her shoulders. No more war with Titans and Giants and crazy Earth Goddesses. Nothing at all. Free to live her life as she wanted to. Free to take own decisions without considering a million alternatives and outcomes. Free to laugh and talk and go crazy once in a while. Free!

But she wouldn't be alone. Oh Gods, no. She didn't think that she'd have a chance to stay single even if she wanted to.

Who was going to stand by her side as she was going to live the rest of her life?

Ah, good question.

She wasn't oblivious to all the flattery she'd received in the nine years of her service. Combine Xena the Warrior Princess with everyone's Princess Charming and you'll get Reyna. Every single teenage guy in the camp seemed to fancy this particular daughter of Bellona at one time or the other. She doubted if any other praetor, let alone any other girl, from both camps combined, had ever received so many compliments and gifts on their birthdays and Valentine days. Not that she didn't rather like it; the guys were falling over each other to carry out her orders the moment she issued them. She didn't wet blanket the tentative approaches nor encourage the knights in shining armor. Still, it did get annoying sometimes.

She doubted whether she could carry on with her calm and cool attitude for much longer. When she woke up on her twenty first birthday, she was actually dreading the day: which was absolutely unlike the cool and composed Praetor. It was unheard of for the girl warrior to be nervous, but for once, Reyna was feeling the jitters.

Sure enough, when she came out from her Praetor's Quarters, her fears were confirmed. It seemed that Aurum and Argentum were the only reason that she had the privacy of her own house intact. The automatons were running around the building, barking and biting at any of the dozens of boys who came within ten meters of the walls on any side.

She had barely taken one step outside when she was strangled in a bear hug.

"Happy Birthd-OWWW!"

The greeting was cut in the middle in a high pitched scream, and as soon as she recovered from her shock the Praetor saw the gold dog biting the leg of her strangler. He was cursing loudly trying to shake the dog off, but the razor sharp teeth would not budge.

"Aurum, down…DOWN, I say!" Reyna ordered, running to the unfortunate guy. It was one of their newest recruits, Eden – who obviously haven't been introduced to the ferocity of the two dogs.

"Are you all right?" she caught the glaring dog by the collar, pulling it back."I'm so sorry about Aurum. You'd better go back to the barracks and get the wound treated. It might have cut a little too deep…" He muttered something and hobbled off looking utterly crestfallen. Despite the outer calmness, Reyna felt terrible.

What an awful start to her special day.

- a talk-

The other boys seemed to keep some distance after Eden's incident, but she still got a a lot of roses, chocolates and several wrapped packages, each bigger than the last. She couldn't positively carry them all to the office; so Reyna thanked them and put all the presents back in her house. Half the morning was over and she was already exhausted. She leaned against the door sighing…where was he? He promised that he'll come to take her away from all this trouble. Probably forgot, playing with his toys.

Uhhh, guys.

They all were the same.

But her duties were waiting, and Reyna was almost as obsessive-compulsive about her work as Terminus was about his boundaries. She went up to the upstairs balcony where Scipio was tethered and got up on her Pegasus after taking off the gold chains. She could escape the lovelorn guys in the air…perhaps.

"Profugio, Scipio"she said, and the palomino Pegasus took to the sky. She could see some people still loitering around her house…well, they'll have to live through their disappointment. She couldn't please them all and she definitely didn't want another Eden today.

"Reyna is unhappy. It's her birthday and she's sad. Or mad. Ella is sad. Ella is not mad."

"Ella!" Reyna greeted the red-feathered harpy flying beside her with a smile. She had just appeared there, but after five years the Praetor was used to the scarlet apparition. "I'm not sad. It's just all those…" she struggled to find a word that wasn't particularly abusive, and gave up. "…It's annoying."

"Annoying. Adjective. Causing irritation or annoyance. Reyna's birthday is annoying?"

"No, it isn't," she said frowning. "The guys are annoying."

"The annoying guys like Reyna," commented the harpy seriously.

Reyna rolled her eyes. "Oh, not as much as Tyson likes Ella."

The red harpy blushed, if possible, even redder. She forgot to beat her wings and almost hit against Scipio's, but Reyna caught her just in time. "What?" she grinned at the little harpy who was reddening profusely and hiding her face – she never lost the child-like appearance she had even after five years – "Does Tyson make you forget to fly too?"

After a little more chit chat with the harpy, Scipio had reached the office and she had to take leave. When she saw who was waiting at the gates, she nearly got back on her pegasus and flew back.

- a clash-

"Why hello there, Beautiful!"

The only Roman in the camp who she actually liked from the beginning was coming towards her with his arms open and there was something small clutched in one hand. She could only guess what it was. Reyna stopped in her tracks and hugged him, politely accepting his birthday greetings and the accompanying wave of compliments with a smile. But then he took a step back and went down on one knee, and her inner girl whispered, "Uh-oh time, Reyna. Run for your life."

"Will you marry me?"

"Marcus…I…"

"Hey! Stop there!"

Another Roman was running down the road – Lucius Darrow, another person she admired for his skills and dedication for the camp. Marcus gave a not-so-subtle glare.

This was exactly why Reyna didn't want to be particularly close to either of them. Both were loyal Romans and exceptional gladiators with a lot of fans, a fight between them would have ended the peace and harmony in Camp Jupiter which she worked so hard to keep.

"What are you doing here, Darrow? I thought you were going out with the Third Cohort Centurion?" Marcus demanded. So it was 'Darrow' now, huh?

"I…she…Well I wanted to…That's none of your concern, North," he replied, and turned to Reyna, completely ignoring his long term friend. "Happy Birthday, Reyna."

"Why, thank you," she said, accepting the bouquet of roses.

"Will you marry me?"

"Huh?" she nearly dropped the bouquet, while Marcus roared beside her – "Now you just wait!"

Lucius waved aside Marcus' stream of shouts and stared expectantly at the girl. Reyna felt herself blushing at the intensity of his look and cursed herself. What was wrong with her?

"Lucius…I don't think it's a good choice. You know Carolina wouldn't-"

"SEE? Even SHE admits that I'm the one for her! Who where you kidding, Darrow?"

"That's not how I meant it!" Reyna turned back on the fuming gladiator, getting angry herself. Why wouldn't anyone leave her alone two minutes, for Jupiter's sake?

"You just dumped Lucius. In how many ways could you interpret it, considering that I'm standing right here?"

"She didn't DUMP me, you-" the son of Mars said something that she didn't want to repeat.

"MAYBE I'M JUST TIRED WITH ALL THESE FIGHTS!" the Praetor glared at both of them. "MAYBE BOTH OF YOU SHOULD COME BACK TO YOUR SENSES! I'M OUT OF HERE!"

"Reyna, don't!" someone caught her hand and pulled her back, but she was too mad to notice whom.

"Vah apage te a moi! Luppiter te perdat!"she shouted, totally losing her control. She tugged her hand back and turning back on both of them, stormed up the stairs with the purple cape flying behind her.

She could hear the argument behind her, and knowing those two, she knew it'll be only a matter of minutes until the next gladiator fight started. They weren't allowed to kill each other, thank the gods, but it still wouldn't be nice. And then in a few days, they'll be friends again, given that nothing else happened meanwhile. Normally, she enjoyed a good match, but not so much if it was a fight over her. It made her feel like Helen of Troy – ten years of war and bloodshed over one abducted damsel. Not exactly her career choice.

- a bang -

The Praetors' Office was unlocked – Percy was here already. She wondered if she was going to have another proposal again. Sure, Percy and Annabeth were a famous couple, but Reyna did notice that Percy looked weary sometimes when talking about his girlfriend. Was he regretting his choice?

She was surprised to see Annabeth, and not Percy, in the office. She was sitting on the edge of the table with her hands crossed, humming nonchalantly.

"Good morning, Annabeth. Where's Percy?"

"Same to you. He's…I guess hiding would be a good word."

Reyna stared.

"He was up here quite early, waiting with his present. You apparently got held up- "

"Yeah, I was a little…busy."

"-As I can see," she rolled her eyes. "And he went into a long monologue about his true feelings. He didn't know that I was in the next room reading the archives," she waved her baseball cap, "and got a bad shock when I thanked him for the entertainment and said that he can go propose to his Praetor all he likes."

Oops.

Annabeth wasn't done yet. "Mr. Seaweed Brain is hiding out in his quarters now, I believe. I stayed behind to finish up my research and pass you the message. He might not be showing his face for a couple of days."

She got down from the table and started towards the door. "Oh, by the way, nice how you handled that…little problem down there. I could hear the whole thing from upstairs. Now, if you would excuse me, I'll go back to the library. And oh yeah, Many Happy Returns of the Day."

She walked towards the door. Reyna didn't know if the greeting was sarcasm or not. This was one very confusing daughter of Athena. So much for her mother being the goddess of Wisdom. Reyna would never have enough wisdom to understand her. Annabeth's face was an unreadable mask of emotions. She smiled when she greeted, appeared thoroughly unconcerned when passing on the message, but now her face was set. Reyna crossed the room stopping her.

"Annabeth, I'm sorry. But I'm not interested in him, not in that way. He's all yours."

"Did I say anything in the contrary?"

The Praetor struggled to find the words. "No, you probably didn't. I was just clarifying. I'm not going to…yeah."

Annabeth turned to look at her in the eyes, and Reyna found herself pinned under the scrutinizing glare of the stormy grey eyes. She looked straight back without dropping her own eyes, she wasn't lying. After a few minutes, Annabeth relaxed.

"I believe you. It's not your fault," she sighed. "I'll be in the archives if you need me for anything."

She left without another word or look, and Reyna felt terrible. She knew how hard it was to deal with a breakup, how torturing it was to know that the guy you think you loved is going after another woman. Didn't she feel the same about Jason? In the eight months he was gone after the war with Krios, Reyna had kept a place for him in her heart despite many troubles. But when he came back, he brought along Piper, his girlfriend.So much for herself being faithful to her would-have-been-but-didn't-really-become-boyfriend. Percy was better – he declined her tentative approaches staying sincere to his only memory; and despite her sadness, Reyna had honored him for it.

Jason didn't take up the Praetorship again, preferring to keep an advisory position in Camp Jupiter, saying that Percy was the better man for the job with more experience (read: he was busy fawning over his new girlfriend to leave Camp Half Blood). Annabeth came with Percy, and, after the Gaea was defeated for good, she spent most of the time in Camp Jupiter which was closer to her family in San Francisco. She was always in the library or the archives, reading up every single book, catching up in the history that the Gods had deprieved her of for so many years.

Reyna and Annabeth had a Rock and Roll friendship – it was weird to be friends with your boyfriend's co-praetor without feeling the awkwardness. Most of the time the Praetors ended up married, and Annabeth wasn't stupid. Even though Reyna didn't have any romantic feelings for him anymore, she didn't feel comfortable with sharing the same office every day.

- a flight -

She sighed. Pouring herself a coffee, she went to work. There was some paperwork concerning the new recruits, and she had to update the Camp Log. That was without all the bills and stuff about the daily activities in the camp. She didn't really have to look at each one of them, but she preferred to make sure everything was in order. She took her work seriously.

She was so lost in her work, that she didn't feel the time passing until an aura left a plate of chips on the desk. It was past the lunchtime, and still he hadn't arrived. The aurae weren't supposed to bring food out of the Mess Hall unless you missed meals, and that on an acceptable reason. Reyna took the plate, poured some ketchup over it, and went to the window, eating the chips.

Her birthday, so far, had been a complete flop in spite of all the gifts and proposals. She hadn't enjoyed her special day at all. Where did all the happy birthday wishes go? And Annabeth's wish…Reyna certainly didn't want many returns of THIS day.

She was quietly having some alone time in the office watching the distant green mountains, when she got the worst surprise the day of all.

The window was open, and someone put a hand through it and pulled her out. She found herself airborne for a second and then she was on another Pegasus. The plate of chips clattered on the ground two stories below.

"Surprised you, huh?"

"OCTAVIAN! WHAT IN HADES DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Rescuing you from all that work, of course. You knew that I was coming and that's why you were standing by that window. I told you to, remember?"

"Wait, wait, WHAT? And I order you to put me down NOW."

"Relax, sweetheart. You got my scroll. My aura told me that she had delivered it."

"IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOWAND EXPLAIN THIS MADNESS, I'M JUMPING OFF!"

"Hold on, girly. Did you see how high up are we flying right now?"

Reyna looked down – she wasn't acrophobic, but it still made her gulp to see the office looking barely bigger than a matchbox. She looked back at the augur cum ex-centurion horrified. He grinned winningly, aiming the Pegasus still higher. The Pegasus whinnied in protest, and Octavian dug his boots to the sides. It made her even madder – it was animal cruelty! She never liked the him when she had to work with him, and he hadn't made himself any pleasanter after leaving the centurion position two years ago to attend college.

"Octavian," she whispered in a dangerously sweet voice, "Iam nunc mitte me, aut poeniteat."

"Me harías el honor de casarte conmigo?"

"Fors fortis,"she replied, slowly bringing out a dagger. She didn't mean to use it for anything else than to threaten him, and he seemed to get the message. They dropped height dramtically, coming down to the New Rome. There were more people in the forum and she could see that a street party was going on to celebrate her birthday. She could only guess the organizer.

They started cheering when they saw the two of them coming down, throwing confetti and streamers into the air even before they landed. But there was something wrong – why were all the balloons heart shaped? She was seeing too many things at once and the colored smoke bombs made it hard to see – the crowd cheering themselves hoarse, the giant cake shaped two intercrossed hearts, and Octavian grinning like mad…

This didn't seem like a birthday party much.

- a ride -

"Looking for an escape route, anyone?"

Someone whispered behind her, and Reyna turned back to see the person she'd been expecting all day.

"Took you long enough."

"Hey, I was busy doing…stuff," he grinned mischievously, and Reyna couldn't stop smiling in spite of herself. It was hard to be angry with him,he was the one person who made her feel like a normal human girl. "And just out of curiosity, are you going to stab anyone with that dagger?"

"Stab what?" she looked down at her hand which was still clutching the Imperial Gold blade. "Oh, no. Not now."

She sheathed it again and crossed her arms, tapping her foot. "I believe that someone promised something. I don't like broken promises."

"There aren't any," replied the gangly boy, still grinning. He took her hand and ducked under the crowd, and Reyna followed him to a side alley. She gasped when she saw what was in there. A bronze bike that looked…there wasn't a word to describe it other than wicked.

"Valdez, you've got to be kidding."

"Did I ever?" he pulled his tongue at her. "You haven't seen the best yet. Hop in!"

Reyna got up readily behind him; no lashing words in Latin or unsheathed daggers. THIS was what she wanted. All day long.

Leo revved the bike on and it took to the air with barely any jolt. Smooth, perfect accelerating that hardly vibrated at all. For all she knew, they could have been driving on a smooth plain. It was like the first time she rode Scipio, minus the discomfort. Fast. Epic. Exhilarating.

"Where are we going?" she shouted against the rushing wind. He winked and sped up even more – good thing there weren't any traffic police up here. She had to hold on tightly for dear life, not that she minded that much. O Jupiter, she likedit, actually.

The world seemed to twist and bend around them suddenly – they were crossing dimensions. Then it was over as soon as it had started. They had arrived at their destination.

"Oh My Gods, what was that?"

"A worm hole. Hope it wasn't too uncomfortable."

"Huh? I hardly felt it! When are you going to stop surprising me, Leo?"

"Err, never? Come on, people are waiting for you. No one else is going to annoy you tonight."

Reyna smiled at him, showing she was still a human girl with feelings, feelings for him.Leo patted her arm and took her up to the Golden Gates, where a couple was waiting for them.

"What took you so long, Leo? Happy Birthday, Reyna!" the girl smiled, waving a package and another bag in her arms. "Here, I guessed that Leo was going to just grab you out of nowhere and come barging in, so I picked a few dresses for you. Hurry up and change, the gods don't like to wait."

"Hazel, thank- wait... WHAT?"

"It's Olympus, what did you think?" Frank grinned. "They weren't losing the excuse to party until the dawn!"

Reyna stared at her friends shocked beyond her limits. Hazel snapped her fingers impatiently and pulled her away to a nearby palace, She showed her into a guest room and left her with some absolutely gorgeous gowns she had ever seen. She picked a purple one – which was hercolor, after all – and got ready with shivering fingers. And then Leo was waiting outside the palace with his hand outstretched – and Reyna felt like the Queen that she was named after, walking down in that shimmering floor-length dress to her…whatever-you-want-to-call-him.

- an end -

...There are parties, and then there are huge, major blowout parties. And then there are the Olympian parties. If you ever get a choice, go for the Olympian.

Her friends were everywhere, and they kept coming to congratulate her on turning twenty one in couples. Erin and Jacob, Thea and Dennis, Abbey and Jack, Savannah and Alex, Leia and Clancy…all the happy couples in both camps seemed to be there. More people were slow dancing round the fountains, lost in their own worlds, Nico and Kori, Seline and Ben, Hazel and Frank.. and even the Immortals were having a good time. Zeus and Hera were waltzing (everyone kept out of their way) and Hephastus was very politely ignoring his wife, who was partying up the dance floor with Ares. Dionysus strolled around with the beautiful Ariadne, who was finally allowed back on Olympus for his help in defeating the Giants. Even Lucius turned up a little later with Carolina who was smiling jubilantly with a diamond ring on her hand. Gary was happily checking out the refreshments, where Ella was fluttering around Tyson with a book and cinnamon roll in either hand.

"May I have this dance?"

Reyna looked at the Son of Hephaestus in his black tuxedo, looking more handsome than she ever thought anyone could look. She had no words, but her eyes said it all.

A/N: *hands you a dagger* Feel free to...err, say whatever you want. But yes, DO review! :D We're review parasites.

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