As the hovercraft takes my team and I towards the city square for the ceremony, the reality of what has happened finally sinks in.

I am the Victor.

I, Tomas Andralis of District 2, am the victor of the 31st Annual Hunger Games.

Of course, I already knew this, but I am overwhelmed by this bizarre, fresh gush of realisation. I have won! Despite the odds, I have come out the other end alive! The odds say that I should be dead, but here I am, alive. This feels amazing.

I find my self in a complete state of euphoria. The world passes by me in a blur of ecstasy.

I'm getting off the hovercraft.

Unknown faces smile at me.

I smile back.

I wait underneath the stage on a metal plate.

This brings back strange memories of going into the arena and the butterfly's return.

I hear Mikel Angelico's voice booming above me.

My prep team is introduced first.

Then Selvia.

Then Marge.

Then Slade.

My name is called. The plate rises.

I am transported up onto the stage and am forced to take a step back as the dazzling lights and roar of the crowd hit me full on. The butterflies vanish.

I walk to the throne at the centre of the stage especially for me. I sit. A voice over the speaker. My name is mentioned multiple times. I catch a glimpse of myself on one of the huge screens. I look tough yet dashingly handsome. Selvia and the others have done well. The President is suddenly in front of me placing a golden crown on my head. I smile uncontrollably and it takes me a second to realise that I have actually risen and am embracing the President. The crowd goes ballistic. The President is momentarily confused but then he smiles and laughs, giving me a friendly pat on the back. The roaring crowd gets quieter as the space darkens. Its time to watch the games. Someone would have edited the whole games into a three-hour summary. I sit back to watch.

They have a small square on the bottom left corner of the screen, which occasionally comes up to, show the face of the victor as they watch the video. I can't stop smiling, so every single person in Panem will have to endure my goofy grinning face. This is my night, so endure it they will. The big screen lights up.

The first half an hour focuses on the pre-games events. During the reaping, I beat my chest and raise my fist as Marge picks my name from that glass bowl. The crowd responds with hooting and stomping. The chariot ride is shown and then the interview with Mikel Angelico. Being not much of a talker, I had given him short answers to his questions. I injected a smug or witty comment into the conversation when I saw the opportunity, and had actually managed to come across as a very relaxed and very cool kind of person. I don't know how on earth I had managed that. Next we see the training scores of the tributes. I had received an eight. All I had done for the head gamekeepers was demonstrate my skill with the melee weapons. Plato and Patreeko were the only tributes to score tens.

When we get up to the actual games, the butterflies return once again. I watch myself standing on the plate as we all wait for the gong to sound and I notice that my whole body had been trembling. The person responsible for editing the footage had done a good job of not showing the vomit that covered the metal plate. I feel the butterflies get bigger and bigger. The gong sounds. I feel my state of euphoria declining. The camera angle changes to the inside of the Cornucopia. I see myself getting closer and closer. The boy from 12 is directly behind me; almost close enough to touch me. I see myself slam into the rack of weapons and within a split second I am lashing out behind me with a sword. The screen goes dark red as his blood splatters over the camera. The camera changes to elsewhere. I hear people in the crowd cheer as we watch my first kill, and consequently, the first kill of the games. I don't cheer.

My euphoric state of ecstasy is now completely gone.

As the show goes on I feel my mind begin to deteriorate. At the part where I kill Trizzy I begin to hear the screams. Those blood-curdling screams that filled the night air. Those screams that resonated and stayed in my head for days afterward. I hear them at the back of my mind. I tuck my chin to my chest, close my eyes tight and press my palms into my eye sockets. I can't take it. My eyes. My tortured eyes. I cannot avoid those screams that tear at my brain, but let me forget what I have seen. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Slade standing over me, a look of concern in his eyes. I give him a small nod and he goes back to his seat. I try and compose myself for the rest of the showing. I sit still, brooding in my own misery.

The fight between Plato and me at the end is brutal to watch. There are a lot of cringing sounds coming from the audience. A shudder ripples down my spine and spreads throughout my skin as I watch myself send both of our bodies into the mouth of fire. When the showing is over I wait for the ceremony to end. When I eventually stand to leave, I am shaking slightly. I let Slade and Marge guide me away towards the victors feast at the Presidents palace. I try and stay cheerful throughout the feast. I talk to the capitol people who seek me out and nibble on the incredible food that is presented. I enjoy the celebration but by the end, I am exhausted.

I barely sleep. As the night turns to early morning I am constantly woken by nightmares. I did not get nightmares in the medical bay, probably because I had drugs pumping through my body. Now the horror of the games is stronger than ever, following me throughout the night. I dream of Aliss. I dream of her eyes being gouged out just like Cass' had been. The dream changes until nothing is clear to me anymore. I hear screaming and see blood. I wake. I get out of bed. I kiss Aliss ring and walk to the corner of my bedroom in the training centre, dragging my blanket behind me. I wrap myself up and sit in the corner. I let my breathing slow down. I sit in the corner for the next couple of hours until I doze off. I dream of Aliss again, but it is not horrific. All I see is her eyes, her hair blowing in the breeze and her beautiful smile. I feel frustrated in the dream because I cannot reach her. Eventually I stop trying to reach her and just watch her, soaking up her beauty and kindness from a distance. I don't know how long this dream goes on for but I am woken by Marge, knocking on the door, telling me I'll be getting my body polish in one hours time and then to my interview with Mikel Angelico at two. My eyes open and all I want to do is get home to Aliss. I love her and I need her.