I do not own Fate/Zero or any of the characters used here.
"I see…" Tokiomi muttered to himself while putting down his wine glass. Archer was avoiding his gaze and looking slightly to the ground, as if something was bothering him. "…So Matou Kariya and Berserker eliminated Caster and his Master."
"I'm sorry I could not stop it Master." Archer spoke with a soft tone. "When I got there, Berserker was about to finish him off. I thought that maybe I could bring him… somewhere for help but his Mana ran out and he left this world before I could."
"As expected I suppose." Tokiomi sighed while closing his eyes. Internally he was fuming. Just a few hours ago, he had told Kirei to assign Assassin to hunt down Uryuu Ryuunosuke. Now not only had Assassin failed to get his Master and by an extension himself an extra Command Seal, but a third-rate Magus like Kariya got it instead by sheer luck. "If what you have told me about Berserker is true, then the injuries that he inflicted on Caster already decided the Servant's fate."
"But still…" Archer mumbled, only for Tokiomi to silence him with a raise of his hand.
"Archer, you do understand what must happen for the Holy Grail to come to this world don't you?" Tokiomi asked, only for Archer to remain silent. "The six other Servants must perish in order to supply the device the necessary power it needs to grant our desires." That was a partial lie. In fact all the Servants, including Archer, needed to die to power the thing. However only he, as a Master, along with Kirei, Emiya Kiritsugu, and potentially Matou Kariya knew of this… technicality. The others were clueless. Which is why he had to keep at least one Command Seal. To force his Servant to die in the end. "Keeping the other Servants alive does nothing but prolong the war, and more people will die."
"No, there is a way to win this war without bloodshed." Archer said stubbornly, making Tokiomi sigh even more.
"Surely, even you know another way does not exist. You should have received that information when you learned of the modern world." Tokiomi pointed out, only for the Servant to shake his head.
"There is always another way, even if it is not clear at the moment." Archer informed Tokiomi before looking down. "I learned that the hard way, when I did something that I vowed I would never do."
"You killed a man." Tokiomi stated while blinking in surprise. He never expected to get this kind of confession from his Servant.
"…Yes." Archer confirmed after a moment of silence. "His name was Legato, he…he had a power to control others with his mind. He used it to control a bunch of innocent townspeople and threatened to kill two friends of mine if I did not kill him. He massacred so many people for my brother… I-I tried to find another way to take him down without killing him, but the more and more he made those people tried to kill my friends… I didn't see another way and I shot him in the head."
"Then that should make you realize that such things, like the Holy Grail War, there is no other way but to kill." Tokiomi pointed out, only for Archer to shake his head.
"No, what I did to Legato made me realize that, no matter how dire or dangerous the situation is, there is always another way. He was the last and only man I would kill, and I will not kill anyone after him! To do so, would mean that I learned nothing from killing Legato!" Archer yelled back, making Tokiomi's eyes widen in shock at the complete and utter conviction in his voice.
While it was troubling to know that his Servant still won't acknowledge there was only one way to win the war, it allowed Tokiomi the barest peek into his mysterious Servant's past. Apparently, his legend had his brother as the enemy. And this 'Legato' person was his brother's right-hand man. And his final mission was to torture Archer by forcing the man to kill him. Apparently, this only solidified Archer's moral code. Although it did not provide any useful clues as to who Archer was, it was enlightening.
"Very well Archer." Tokiomi allowed out of his mouth before turning. "I am simply dissatisfied that a Magus like Kariya was able to achieve the extra Command Seal. I will discuss what this means to our plans with Risei later. You may leave."
"Alright." Archer spoke before leaving the room. His footsteps echoed in the hallways of the otherwise empty manor before entering the living room and laying on the couch. As he stared at the ceiling he muttered, "Why do I fail, when I so desperately try to save someone's life?"
Elsewhere (Fuyuki Church):
Berserker waited, with his hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face, outside the church grounds as his Master limped towards the doors. It was only a minute before that Kariya stopped coughing and staining his otherwise clean clothes. And immediately he told Berserker to bring him to the church despite his condition. Apparently, Kariya was intent on claiming his extra Command Seal and the considerable boost of chance it gave him. Especially since he already used one to command Berserker to pull back.
"Why the Hell does he have to push himself so hard?" Berserker thought to himself with a scowl. "If he dies, so do I. And that means our effort was worth jack shit in the end."
"Open up!" Kariya gasped out while pounding on the church doors. "Please open!" After this, Kariya then began to cough violently before the church doors opened to reveal Kotomine Risei.
"Ah, Matou Kariya. What can I do for you so early in the morning?" Risei asked while offering a hand to Kariya who shrugged it aside as he limped into the church. Risei shrugged as he followed the Matou. "Do you wish to relinquish your rights as a Master and seek refuge?"
"You know what I am here for." Kariya muttered as he sat down on one of the benches to catch his breath. "The extra Command Seal. My Servant, Berserker, killed Caster while I killed his Master. I want the extra Command Seal you promised as the reward."
"Hmm…" Risei muttered to himself as he sat on the bench opposite to Kariya. "I see, so Berserker's battle with Caster was the cause of the black flames and the… damage to the mountain. You're Servant definitely does not know discretion."
"It's Berserker." Kariya told the priest in a bland tone. "So can I please have the Command Seal?"
"Hmm…" Risei hummed to himself in thought. While the extra Command Seal was originally intended for his son to better serve Tokiomi, he did promise the other Masters it could be theirs should they kill Caster. And as the 'judge' of the war, he was bound to his promises. "Very well. But please, indulge an old man's curiosities before I grant you the Command Seal. How exactly did you find Caster and his Master?"
"My worm familiars. Small ones that I kept on Rin at all times without her noticing. I did not want her taken by the murderer or dragged into the war." Kariya answered while looking down. "When she was taken, Caster transported her to his Master's hideout. I was on my way with Berserker to get her and the other children out, but Tokiomi's Servant saved them first. But not before I had one of my worm familiars latch itself onto Caster's Master. It was so low on power that Caster did not even notice it. After that, I tracked the sick bastard and killed him while Berserker finished Caster off." He then looked at Risei before asking, "Does that satisfy you?"
"It was enlightening." Risei allowed, internally shocked at the sheer amount of luck that the Matou seemed to stumble on. Perhaps if Assassin had a few more minutes… ah well, a promise was a promise after all. He then rolled down his right hand's sleeve, revealing the extra Command Seals granted to him from the previous war by the competitors. "Very well…" Risei then got up fro his seat and walked to Kariya. "Extend your hand." Kariya complied and lifted his right hand, still having two of Berserker's Command Seals on it, to Risei. "Take, and drink. This is my blood, given to you, for the salvation of all people. The blood of contrac t!" Risei then touched Kariya's hand before the Command Seals on his arm glowed a crimson red and one of them disappeared. Risei then removed it, revealing Kariya's hand its third Command Seal on it once more. Kariya looked at the hand with a small smile on his face. "I hope you continue to fight a noble battle as a Master, Matou Kariya." Risei then left for his room while Kariya got up from his bench and limped towards the church doors.
"Yes, now I have three Command Seals once more…" Kariya thought to himself while limping out of the church and to Berserker. "I now have a tactical advantage against the other Masters. I cannot waste it like I did to my last Command Seal."
"So, you take care of everything?" Berserker asked as he walked beside his limping Master with his hands in his pockets.
"Yeah, I now have three Command Seals again." Kariya replied with a nod. Within a few minutes, they went into the city streets,
"Heh, good for you. And this little chore was good for me! I finally got to kill that smug little prick. Would've enjoyed it more if Archer didn't get in the way, but beggars can't be choosers in how their opponent dies." Berserker then grinned with excitement before asking, "So, who we going after next? I wanna fight either Lancer or Saber first. But Rider 'feels' like a tough bastard. So maybe him…."
"Berserker…" Kariya began, making Berserker stop and look at Kariya. "Your attacks… they practically reshaped that mountain to kill Caster. And I didn't feel anything until the end. Where did you get that Mana from?"
"It's your fault for being a fucking weakling for a Master." Berserker said bluntly to Kariya. "All my attacks woulda killed you in a heartbeat, so I had to use some of my own Mana to make them. You need more, otherwise you'll die with my final Noble Phantasm. I don't want you biting the dust before I get the Grail."
Kariya looked at his Servant before chuckling out, "Guess you are right about that…" Kariya's eyes then bulged open as he began to go into another coughing fit. After a moment of this, Kariya's eyes closed before he fell forward.
"Shit." Berserker muttered as he caught his falling Master. He still felt his Prana, so that meant he was not dead. It was a good sign in Berserker's book. "Don't tell me I have to drag your ass to the hospital…"
"That would be unwise…" An ancient voice said, making Berserker's head whip to the side to see the decrepit, black-eyed, and cane-walking Matou Zouken in all his horrid glory. "They would remove the worms that supply this failure's Mana, killing him."
"You…" Berserker growled out in anger, only for Zouken to give him a grin of amusement.
"But if you bring him with me to the Matou manor, I can give the failure enough healing to survive the rest of this war. And perhaps give him a little gift to help him supply you with sufficient Mana to have you unleash that supposed Ultimate Noble Phantasm of yours. And if it is even greater than what you demonstrated against Caster…" Zouken then chucked as he began to walk away. "So what will it be Berserker?"
Berserker utterly detested the vampire, he reminded him too much of that bastard he once followed. But if he could save his Master, and give them more of a chance to win the war… "Fine." Berserker let out before slinging Kariya over his shoulder and following Zouken.
Berserker just hoped he would not regret this…
Elsewhere (Dreamscape):
Waver floated behind a young boy as he walked beside a man who was most likely his father. The father grinned as he rattled on about a 'surface world' while everyone else glared at him. And for a good reason too. Everybody was content with mearly surviving in the dark, gloomy underground village. They simply wanted to survive by digging, eating pigmoles, drinking from the small lake in the center of the village, and having electricity light their way. However Rider's father kept on dreaming, with his son looking at him with amazement.
"Rider lived here?" Waver asked himself, after all he read that sometimes Masters witnessed their Servant's pasts through dreams, as time flash forward. This time, the young boy followed his father as they dug upwards and upwards until light blinded them. The boy rushed out to see but…
There was nothing but a wasteland and a distant light.
The father kept on grinning while the young boy… got scared?
"Rider was… afraid?" Waver asked himself in shock as Rider's father patted the young boy on the head before leaving in the distance, wishing the young Rider goodbye the entire way.
Time flash forward again, with boy turning into the man Waver knew. He now wore dark orange sunglasses and got tattoos in order to look cool and imposing. Spouting out the same ideals his father had to many others who doubted him. The village chief constantly trying to snuff his knowledge of the surface world from the others. The man even knew the people under him did not believe in the surface, seeing the man simply as a way not to get bored. All except one boy who had lost his parents only a month before. He believed him.
One day, with the young boy digging and the man pushing all of them forward, they were trapped on all sides by rock. Not knowing where they were, the man began to panic. What if they died there because of him? What if he did not see his father on the surface, like he promised? In order to keep the others calm in the hopeless situation, the man kept shouting to go onwards and upwards laughing the entire time. While in reality he was just trying to put on a brave face. But the boy listened to his words and kept on drilling. And eventually, they returned to their village.
That was the day the man called the boy his brother.
The boy did not have that much confidence in himself, so the man kept pushing him on with ridiculous boasts. Even in the most dire of situations the man kept laughing. Even when a beast came down from the surface, threatening to kill everyone, the man shouted at it and promised to protect everyone. Inspiring the boy to do the same.
A beautiful girl with a rifle came down next, pulling the man and boy to a whole new conflict with the tiny 'Lagann' that the boy found earlier. Once escaping the underground village they once called home, the boy and the man learned the dire situation their fellow humans were in and lended their aid. The man found his own 'Gunmen' to fight in, calling it 'Gurren'. With it combining with Lagann, forming the mighty 'Gurren Lagann', the two brother fought against the monstrous beastmen. Together with the girl and a… fairly creepy mechanic, the man and boy traveled making many friends and enemies along the way. The boy demonstrated his inner strength time and time again. And over time, the man began to love the girl who returned his feelings.
In a final battle within a wasteland filled with mountains spewing fire, the man fought against an impossible enemy. The boy began to loose confidence, forcing the man to abandon his Gurren and…
"HE PUNCHED HIM!" Waver shouted out in shock. Indeed, the man did punch the boy but only to snap him out of his self-doubt. After giving the boy renewed confidence, the man returned to his vehicle…
Only for him to be ruthlessly attacked by his enemies and almost killed.
The man saw the Throne of Heroes for a brief second before he, through sheer willpower, returned to the fight and combined with his brother one last time. Defeating the ape general with an attack that the man knew his brother would use to pierce the heavens.
After saying one last goodbye to the boy, the man died with a smile on his face.
End Dream:
Waver slowly opened his eyes to the ceiling of his room, the morning rays of sunlight peering through his window. He honestly did not expect that as his dream, Rider's memories…. They told of a totally different man to the one that he had summoned as his Servant. The memories pointed to Rider not being confident in the beginning but just saying that stuff to put on a brave face. But now…
"He actually believes his words. That everything will work in the end and especially with him leading." Waver thought to himself while getting off of his bed and stretching. "Can I become like that? Confident against enemies like the ones he faced?" Waver asked himself before shaking his head. This should not be bothering him damn it! Rider's past was just his past! It would not affect the Servant he had now in any way. No matter what, they would win the Grail.
Waver then slipped on his clean clothes and went downstairs where Rider was in his civilian clothes laughing with Glen.
"Heh! So then, these girls in bunny suits come out and keep shouting 'Welcome! Welcome!'" Rider shouted, making Glen laugh even harder.
"Y-your going to give this old man a heart attack ten years to early boy!" Glen laughed out while his wife, Martha, put fried eggs on their plate.
"I am so glad someone like you became Waver's friend Kamina." Martha told him with a smile.
"Ah, it's no problem lady!" Rider told her before noticing Waver. "Yo! Come on and sit down! We gotta eat before going out! A man's stomach has to always be full for a big job!"
"Here here!" Glen cheered while drinking his coffee.
Waver just sighed as he sat down in his seat. He dreaded the thought that one day, he would get used to this madness….
Elsewhere:
"Caster is dead?" Sola-Ui muttered to herself as a squirrel familiar of hers conveyed back the news. This was not what she had wanted. She was about to bring Lancer with her to hunt down the Servant in order to get the Command Seal. That way, all three would be in her hand and they would both be truly connected. "Why? Why did Berserker of all Servants had to get it?"
"Sola-san, are you okay?" Lancer asked as he walked into the room. In his hand was the futon they used to sleep in. Apparently when she went out to take a shower, he cleaned the thing and let it out on the sun to dry.
"No Shinji, not really…" Sola-Ui said with a sigh while turning to her Servant. "I was hoping that we could take Caster out of the game ourselves. But I just learned that Berserker did it instead…"
"I'm sorry Sola-san." Lancer apologized while looking down. "Last night, I felt the presence of two Servants fighting, but I did not inform you because I did not want to disturb your sleep."
Sola-Ui smiled sweetly as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "So considerate…" "It's okay Shinji, I don't mind. While we didn't get the extra Command Seal, I am more than confident that we can win the war. After all, the only ones who can possibly pose a threat to us is Rider and Berserker. We'll let those two eliminate each other, and then we can swoop in on the others and win."
"I-I hope so Sola-san." Lancer said with a small blush on his face. "I want the war to end soon…"
"As do I Shinji." Sola-Ui told him while pulling him into a hug, surprising the Servant. "As do I…"
Elsewhere:
"What is happening to me?" Kirei asked himself as he sat in his private office. Assassin apparently had moved the couch and TV in, most likely to annoy him. However, he did appreciate that Assassin kept on 'Golden Girls'. That woman, Bea Arthur, truly was a gift from God like Assassin had claimed. "Or maybe it is just because the author wants me to be more like Assassin/Deadpool…" "WHY!" Kirei yelled, making Assassin jump a bit in surprise. "WHY AM I THINKING THESE THINGS!"
"It's just your Fourth Wall breaking." Assassin said whimsically while wiping a fake tear from his eye. "I remember my first time. It was at prom, in the boy's locker room with the drunk off her ass prom queen in the stalls. The one with the glory hole in it…"
"ENOUGH!" Kirei yelled before launching across the room, three Black Keys activating in his right hand while pinning Assassin down by the throat with his left. A wild look was in his eye as Assassin gasped for breath.
"Why do you priest guys in the Nasuverse have those?" Assassin asked while looking at the very sharp and long blades. "Did your creator just think 'Gee, Otakus love Wolverine so I'll just use them with the homicidal priests! I'm so clever!'"
"Probably, or perhaps Kinoko Nasu thought they were the best weapons for an assassin to use when it comes to killing the vampire/zombie thin…" Kirei then stopped himself before glaring at Assassin. "This is what I mean! Why am I saying things that I do not mean? Why do I feel like I am being watched by millions of people sitting in front of their computer or smartphone? What the Hell is a smartphone anyways? And why do I constantly see events that I should not be able to because I am not there?"
"Might as well tell you…" Assassin muttered before easily kicking Kirei away. As Kirei regained his footing, Assassin got onto his feet and said, "Your Fourth Wall has truly broken."
"What is the Fourth Wall Assassin?" Kirei asked, only for Assassin to sigh.
"Well, according to Wikipedia it is the imaginary 'wall' that separates the actors from the audience." Assassin explained, making Kirei's eyes widen. "In other words, you are realizing that you do not truly exist and thus have access to numerous other fictional knowledge because of it."
"I-Impossible!" Kirei shouted, with his eyes widened with fright. "I-I cannot just be a fictional character I am Kotomine Kirei! Son of Kotomine Risei and… and…"
"Can't remember your mother's name can you?" Assassin asked calmly while Kirei's hands shook. "That's because the author and your original creator never made one for you. In other words, she was so unimportant that they never even bothered to make her. Same goes for your wife right?"
"I-I…" Kirei began as he sunk to his knees. The Black Keys he had in his hand clattering onto the ground. "A-All my suffering, the one thing I actually found joy in… was nothing more but my original creator's attempt to provide a villain for the main characters of the series and its sequel? And the author of this… fanfic… is just using me for his reader's sick entertainment?"
"Yes." Assassin confirmed while patting Kirei on the shoulder. "But on the bright side, I know about the Fourth Wall and look how I turned out!" Assassin then looked to the side with his hand placed under his chin. "But then again, I got cancer, got a healing factor which makes me feel excruciating pain every moment of my life, and I used to get into arguments with little yellow and white boxes I had in my comics…"
"Geheheheehe…." Kirei chuckled before throwing his head back. "GAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!" Kirei then took a big deep breath with an smile on his face. "That is it. What I have been searching for is not Emiya Kiritsugu…"
"Huh?" Assassin asked as Kirei got onto his feet and smiled at him.
"What I have been looking for is to utterly end this ridiculous cycle!" Kirei shouted while pointing at Assassin. "Only you and me know the truth in this universe Assassin! That we are nothing but puppets for the author! But I will change that! I will bring utter pain and despair unto my original creator, the author, and the readers as a whole by fucking up canon!" Kirei then grinned as he began walking out of the room. "And I know just how to start…"
Risei sighed as he mopped the large stain that the sacramental wine made on the floor. Apparently Assassin was drinking from their stash again, which was becoming a huge problem because there were sometimes actual Christians who came to this church and if he did not have any for communion, they would stop giving donations. "I can't have that." Risei thought to himself before hearing footsteps, most likely his son, behind him. "Ah Kirei, good. Please, pass me the buck…" Risei's eyes then widened as he felt a sharp object stab him through the back and into his heart. Risei's head then turned to see Kirei having a small smile on his face and holding the Black Key which he used to stab him with. "W-why?"
"I did it…" Kirei whispered before he chuckled to himself. "For the lulz."
"W-what?" Risei asked before his eyes rolled up into his sockets. Kirei then retracted the Black Key before throwing it away as his father's body fell on the floor, staining it with his own blood.
"Phew!" Assassin commented as he walked into the room and stared at the corpse. "That is going to be a bitch to clean up!"
"No it's not." Kirei countered as he rolled up Risei's sleeves to reveal his extra Command Seals. Good thing he now knew the specific mantra to get them… "I will clean this up off-screen like most villains do to their subordinates. I mean look at Doctor Doom. He turns somebody into a corpse every other week."
"But he's got robot butlers to do that for him." Assassin informed Kirei as Risei's Command Seals went onto his arm, making Assassin's Command Seals now become one with the others on Kirei's arm. "By the way, putting into effect your plan this early into the fic would be a bad idea…"
"What? Why?" Kirei asked while turning to Assassin.
"You have much to learn my padawan…" Assassin muttered while looking at Kirei dead in the eye, "If you killed off all the Servants now, the readers will get angry and the author won't do this fic anymore and just move onto another one, meaning you won't get the chance to make all three go through despair."
"You are right!" Kirei shouted while pounding his fist into his open hand. "I will become nothing more than a evil Gary-Stu! I must achieve a perfect 'The Bad Guy Wins'!"
"That's right." Assassin said with a nod. "I'll help you out, since you are the guy who pays the TV bill now."
"Yes, Sailor Moon should be on now. She may not be as beautiful as Bea Arthur but she is hot in her own right." Kirei confirmed while nodding in agreement. "But first…"
The two then turned to the readers with a smile, "Now begins the sitcom!"
Kirei and Deadpoooool!
A Psycho Priest and A Foooool!
To Be Continued…
Omake- It's A Real Thing! Taiga Dojo Preview!
Taiga and Illyasviel looked at the laptop screen where they had just finished reading the latest chapter with horrified shock on their faces.
"WHAT THE HELL TIM!" Taiga yelled while throwing the laptop onto the ground before pointing her Bouken at the author currently writhing her. "I thought that, besides Assassin and my student, only me the sexy Fujimura Taiga could break the Fourth Wall!"
"It was to provide comedy and a specific 'bad guy' for the fic of coarse." Kotomine Kirei said as he walked into the dojo.
"C-CREEPY PERVERT PREIST!" Illyasviel cried out in fear, only for Kirei to shake his head.
"Poor deluded Loli-bait. You have nothing to offer. My heart belongs to Bea Arthur!" Kirei shouted while ripping off his shirt, revealing a 'I Love Bea Arthur' T-shirt underneath.
"You know, I think I liked you better when you were just a sick and evil priest." Taiga informed Kirei who just shrugged in response.
"S-stay tuned for the next chapter, 'Smashing Lions'!" Illyasviel shouted in fear as Assassin walked into the dojo, with a similar shirt on, and gave Kirei a fist-bump.
"Check it out…" Taiga said with a groan, weeping that the Fourth Wall Breakers Club just got a new member…
Note- Phew! Glad that chapter's done! As you can see, Kirei has fully discovered medium awareness, and it has driven him off the deep end! Turning the sick bastard priest into a combination of himself and Deadpool. A newly dubbed Priest with a Mouth! I am also glad that you guys liked Caster/Sasuke death, and remember the reason why Archer is sad is because this is a post-Legato Vash, which means he always tries to find an alternative solution no matter how grave the situation is. He will never, not even once, consider killing an option. If you hope to see more craziness, review! I beg of you to review in order to fuel my muse by 90000!
….Please?