A/N: Hi there! Once again, I, Éthel get to thank you guys for reviewing, faving, and still following! Last chapter was a tamer one with only a kiss, so only a very few of you felt moved to review. Those we want to thank especially ;D Since AdaraLove and me really, really want to know what you guys out there are thinking about our writing, we'll give you a little more lemon juice with this chapter again XD So, be nice, and leave a few words. They really mean a lot!
Although, Gokudera and Yamamoto have very busy schedules, and get to spend only very little, precious time together, their relationship has grown to the point where they want more. In this chapter we follow their adventures in trying to prepare for that next big step.
Warnings this time include hints at 5980 again, masturbation and as usual Gokudera's filthy little mouth ;D
Now, all that's left to say is have fun and enjoy!
Just over two months went by. Although Gokudera and Yamamoto managed to see each other almost every day, they had very little time alone with each other. Only on three weekends Yamamoto could stay overnight. Those nights had been special; filled with passion and the desperate need to catch up, which made for very little sleep. The last three weekends, though, they did not even get that time. The High School Baseball Finals were right around the corner, and with Yamamoto's help, his team was in the top four contending schools. So their training was doubled; taking up most of the Saturday and draining the jock pretty heavily.
On top of that, there were some bigger events going on in Namimori with fireworks and everything, bringing increased business to Takesushi, so Yamamoto had to help out his dad more there on Sundays, too.
With more tests coming their way before summer break, Gokudera had to study and tutor the other ones, which took up a lot of his time. Also, as his monetary situation wasn't exactly a secret, Reborn had taken it upon himself to send some smaller missions his way, for which the feisty Italian was thankful, but they were more time consuming than anything else.
At least Yamamoto stuck to his promise to drop by after his morning runs. Gokudera woke with a fluttering stomach on those days. They had very little time then, as they had to go to school afterwards, but nonetheless, once or twice the smaller teen couldn't help but sneak into the shower with Yamamoto, forsaking a healthy breakfast for some even more needed closeness with his boyfriend.
Although it sometimes hurt almost physically to be so close to Yamamoto while they were studying at Tsuna's, they managed to sneak some inconspicuous brushes of hands and loving touches under the table. They even got desperate enough to steal kisses on top of the stairs when the others already had gone down, or in an empty class, or washroom.
Not being able to enjoy the physical side of their relationship was hard, but it also helped in making Gokudera feel more secure with Yamamoto. Their first night had been wonderful, but it had gone from finally spilling their feelings to acting on them pretty fast and intensely. Always insecure, and expecting the worst for himself, Gokudera couldn't help the growing fear that their relationship was merely physical. But with their rare time alone, and the time spent just holding onto each other when they finally were, those fears were laid to rest. Yes, Yamamoto jumped him once the door shut on the two of them, but Gokudera himself was no less desperate to touch and feel the other one. Only afterwards, they would just lie together, cuddle, stroke, look into each other's eyes, and enjoy their company.
As promised, the little bomber worked on his own issues. He still exploded around Yamamoto a lot, but it happened more in the presence of Tsuna and the others, and was often followed by a warm touch snuck underneath the low table. Gokudera firing up in his own home, or on the rare occasion when they were alone up in Yamamoto's room, was usually quenched these days by a long kiss; making him all mellow again. Also, the feisty Italian worked hard to not be too suspicious of the other one's actions, asking earlier and calmer for their meaning if he was unsure once again, which made for less hurtful misunderstandings between them.
His feelings for Yamamoto seemed to deepen with every day; his trust in him growing with each day he stuck around, looking at him lovingly with every tender touch, and for each one they couldn't share, but wanted to. Every one of the few times they had been with each other seemed to have grown in intensity, their need to feel as one increasing.
As Gokudera was someone very dependent on theoretical knowledge before starting out on any action, he had begun some research. It was soon pretty clear that what he needed to know wasn't found in books; at least, not Japanese ones. Researching on the internet, Gokudera learned that Italian pages were the most helpful to him. It was a message board with real gay guys stating their experiences that captured his interest the most. There, he read up on that real first time and how best to go about it. One thing was sure: he needed some lube...
Two months went by in a flash for Yamamoto, each day busy and filled with things to do. Most of his time was taken up with baseball practice and games, helping his dad with Takesushi, and studying for school. But because of all of those things, Yamamoto hardly had any free time to spend with his precious boyfriend. It didn't help that Gokudera was constantly tutoring and going on missions too. The only times he could spend with his loved one were in the mornings after his jogs (in which they skipped breakfast often to spend time together in the shower), or the few minutes that they made time for each other by sneaking touches and kisses in empty classrooms and such. Each moment spent alone together was filled with passion, desperation, and longing. Yamamoto was more than happy with that for the moment, but he was also happy about the progress Gokudera seemed to be making in their relationship, too. It seemed that the other was calming down relatively easier, and wasn't as suspicious of his behavior as he had been at the beginning. Yamamoto was also getting better with how he worded things, so that Gokudera wouldn't take what he said the wrong way. All in all, it looked like, despite the lack of time they had for each other at the moment, the feelings they had were becoming stronger.
But with every moment that they had time to spend together, the urge to become one with one another increased as well. Yamamoto wanted nothing more than to fully join with Gokudera now, to take that next big step in their relationship and fill the void he was starting to feel in his heart. He desperately wanted to feel complete with the other, and with a free weekend finally coming up for the both of them, Yamamoto wanted to ask his lover if he was willing to go that extra step.
He just really hoped that he wasn't pushing this too fast, and that his words wouldn't make Gokudera go back to square one with him.
But as the young jock thought of this, another thought came to his mind. What if Gokudera actually agreed to go through with it? Yamamoto didn't even know how he was supposed to go about having literal sex with the other!
Knowing that he'd have to do some research just in case Gokudera agreed to his proposal, Yamamoto went to the only place he could think of that would be of help to him. The ever trusty internet!
Going by bus, Gokudera made his way to the other side of town. He wanted to make sure not to meet anybody he knew, otherwise this could not only become embarrassing, but a potential threat, too. He had looked up the address for a drugstore over there on the internet.
Slowly, he went through the aisles, looking for the right one as he took some shampoo, shower gel, and toothpaste along. Finally, he found the section with condoms and lube. Trying to act cool about it, he strode right up. Only, just as he wanted to look at the multitude of bottles, tubes and packages, an elderly lady turned the corner, stepping right in front of it.
She was looking at the opposite shelf. "Now...where is that nasal spray...ah...oh...so many to pick..." She was mumbling to herself in a very slow voice, bending slightly to the signs and packages and squinting her eyes, her elderly behind blocking Gokudera's section of interest effectively in the closely spaced aisle.
Fuck! The little bomber turned around, going to the next row to look at deodorants while keeping an eye on the elderly lady, hoping she'd be gone soon.
Sitting at his desk in his room, Yamamoto logged onto his laptop computer that his father bought him for college (it was only a year away, after all), the taller teen went on the internet to his favorite search engine, and typed the only thing he could think of to start him off into the search bar: gay sex.
It felt weird typing out the word gay. To the young jock, he didn't consider himself as such. He wasn't attracted to other men; he was only attracted to Gokudera. And before he had figured out he was attracted to the other, he had been attracted to girls, but not attracted to the idea of going out with any of them that he came across (which were a lot! He usually got about 5 confessions a day!). So was he gay? Probably not. Was he bi? Maybe. It was hard to discern his sexual preferences when he had only truly been attracted to one person in his life. But if he wanted to know how to have sex with another guy, he'd have to type those words in.
Needless to say, the results that Yamamoto got when he entered in his suggestion were quite weird. The Rain Guardian felt a little intimidated then, wondering what site he would dare himself to enter. He wondered if a porno site was the best way to go, but he had heard that most of the time, the scenes in those were generally glorified like the less explicit sex scenes you saw in movies and TV. That, and what if his dad found him watching that kind of stuff? That thought completely horrified Yamamoto. So, maybe porn sites wouldn't be the best teaching tool to use. Heck, Yamamoto felt completely uncomfortable at the idea of watching two guys go at it, now that he thought about it.
Throwing that idea out the window, Yamamoto came across another interesting link; a link to a site for yaoi fan-fiction. The taller teen was an avid reader and watcher of manga and anime, but he had only heard of the term yaoi maybe once beforehand. Curious as to what lay in store for him, the taller teen clicked on the link and was brought to the site's homepage where it described that the site was a domain for mature fan-fiction depicting gay pairings from anime and manga. Yamamoto's eyes widened at the list of shows and manga the site held stories for. He was pretty certain he had never seen gay pairings in a majority of the listed shows. Hell, most of the shows listed were some of his favorite shonen anime/manga!
Yamamoto couldn't tell if this was going to be educational or downright scarring.
Taking the sixth deodorant in hand and pretending to read the ingredients, Gokudera was getting restless. What the hell was the problem about taking one of those damn nasal sprays and getting the fuck out of that aisle?! Why couldn't that old woman just pick one damn package and go?
"Hm...natural seawater...that sounds good..." The elderly lady was mumbling again, not too softly.
'Yeah, sea salt is just perfect', the little bomber thought, 'just take it and go!' He was staring daggers at her over the top of the shelf by now.
"Ah...but it's so cheap...that can't be right…Cheap medicine has cheap effect...Yes, yes."
Fucking, damn shit! Hands balled into fists at Gokudera's sides. He was about ready to shove his hands into his pockets, get out some dynamite sticks, and just blow the fucking shelf and her along with it right to hell!
Damn! The Tenth wouldn't be too happy about that handy work now, would he? Nope. The Tenth liked to help people; especially people in need (which is what she seemed to be). Taking a deep, calming breath, the smart Italian thought of another way to go about it.
Turning the corner, he approached her, "Can I help you?" With all of his restraint gathered, he even managed to keep his voice civil and not bark at her.
She turned her head, looking him up and down, "You don't belong to the store! What do you want? You want to steal my purse? DELINQUENT!"
Blinking wide-eyed at her, Gokudera was actually struck silent for a second. What the fuck?!
Yamamoto didn't even know what he was looking at anymore.
The taller teen could only stare uselessly at the screen before him, a sickly color coming onto his face as he read the first fan-fiction that was on the list. It just so happened that it was an S and M story between the main hero of one of his favorite anime and the main villain.
Deeming the story too graphic and just screwed up to be of any use to him, Yamamoto quickly clicked on the, 'back' button, to get out of the messed up story and click on the next one. This process went on for a while as horrible story after horrible story popped onto his screen. The young jock had to say that the yaoi fandom was quite a scary place, and of no help to him whatsoever. Most, if not all, of the writers on the site were female, and he could tell from how they wrote up the sex scenes that they were very inexperienced with the real deal themselves. Every once in a while, he'd happen upon a story with an author who seemed to know what they were talking about, but it was always the stories with weird couplings in them that just made the baseball player uncomfortable. For those stories, he had found one where the rivals that didn't get a long (at all!) in one anime were put together, one where he swore that he thought that the two main characters were supposed to be brothers, but yet they were doing each other, one with twincest, one with pedophilia, and another pedophilia one, but this one was between a father and son.
Scarred beyond belief, and resisting the urge to either throw up or curl up in the corner and cry (he would never look at his favorite shows the same way again!), Yamamoto decided to get out of the fan-fiction section and head over to the site's forum. Maybe there would be something on there that would be of better help to him.
Upon entering the forum and seeing one of the discussions titled, 'Good Yaoi Manga to Read', the scarred Japanese teen clicked on it for hopes of better reading material. But when he spotted the first post, it just so happened that the person who posted had a very graphic yaoi picture in their caption section, and it was between two of his favorite characters from his all-time favorite manga! Startled by the random picture that had just popped onto his screen, Yamamoto jumped a bit in his seat and leaned back, his momentum sending his chair falling to the ground, and bringing him with it. With a little cry of surprise, Yamamoto fell over backwards as his chair hit the ground with a loud 'thunk!'; the taller teen rolling backwards off the chair from the momentum and landing on his stomach with a groan.
And then, to the dark-haired teen's utter horror, he heard a rush of footsteps up the stairs, and heard his door open.
"Takeshi, are you alright?! I heard a loud crash!" Yamamoto's father shouted from the doorway as his son peered over his shoulder from his position on the floor to stare up at the older man in fear. Taking one look at his son, and then following the tipped over chair to the laptop on his desk, Tsuyoshi had a great view of the extremely lewd yaoi picture.
Yamamoto waited on bated breath as he feared for his father's reaction to the picture, and for the questions that it would bring. He wasn't ready to tell his father about his feelings for Gokudera, or about his sexuality for that matter. But to the taller teen's surprise, his father only blinked in shock at the picture for a moment before he redirected his gaze towards his son, a look of pity on his face.
"You got redirected to a porn site from a fake link, didn't you?" The older man spoke with concern as he shook his head sadly. "Remember how I told you not to use that Google search bar? I was trying to find some different sushi recipes on it a couple of weeks ago and they redirected me to a porn site where people were eating sushi off of each other. To this day, it's still hard for me to look at fatty tuna…"
And with that, Tsuyoshi helped his son back onto his feet, gave him a pat of reassurance to his back, said, "Everything is going to be okay", and left. Yamamoto could only stare at his father's retreating back in a dazed fashion as the bedroom door finally closed again.
"Why the heck, would you think I wanna steal your purse when I'm just asking if I can help?!" This time Gokudera barked at her, no longer able to contain himself. He had tried, hadn't he?
"Don't you yell at me, young man! My ears are still good!" She lifted the walking stick she had been leaning on, shaking the pommel at him. "I know how to defend myself, you better believe it! I can take on a small stick like you any time!" With the support of her stick gone, she was gripping the shelf with the other hand surreptitiously.
Any other person than Gokudera Hayato might have taken pity on that old lady, but she had pissed him off royally. All the progress he had made for Yamamoto's sake kept portions of his anger unvented, which blew up right then. "You are fucking crazy, stupid old hag! I don't care about your damn purse or your stupid money, but if I wanted it, there'd be no way in hell you would be able to stop me!" As soon as his words were out, the little bomber saw stars. That crazy old hag had actually hit him with her stick!
"Crazy bitch! Stop it!" Gokudera had raised his arms to fend the stick off that was again aiming for his head. What the hell had he gotten himself into? Why did this have to happen to him, and why the fuck right now? He was just about ready to drop the things he had already picked out, and just leave this insane old hag and the store, when a store clerk was grabbing for and holding onto the again flying stick.
"Now, now, Yamada Obaa-san...what did we tell you about harassing other customers? You be nice, or we cannot let you shop in here anymore..."
Shakily making his way back to the computer, Yamamoto was able to toughen himself up, and read through the forum. Reading through fan-fiction was a dead end for him, so he'd go the next step up and read some yaoi manga. Hopefully the mangaka's for those would have a better understanding about the sexual elements of the relationship. Writing down some good manga leads, Yamamoto logged off of his computer and made his way downstairs. Telling his dad that he was going to get some fresh air, and after his father gave him an understanding look, Yamamoto made his way to the closest bookstore.
The long walk to the store helped clear his mind and settle his nerves more than a bus ride ever could, so when Yamamoto entered the bookstore (where he usually bought his manga) he was in relatively higher spirits. But just as he reached the manga section, worry entered the taller teen's mind once again. How was he going to buy the adult yaoi manga without anyone paying him too much attention? And how was he going to be able to buy the books when he was underage?!
Trying to pass off that he was just browsing, Yamamoto grabbed a random shonen manga he passed by and pretended to read the description on the back while he scanned the yaoi section out of the corner of his eye. There were a bunch of giggling schoolgirls nearby reading over a recent shoujo manga release, and when he was sure they weren't looking his way, he grabbed two of the yaoi manga that had been on his list.
Making his way over to the register, the young jock fidgeted in nervousness as he approached the young, female clerk. The younger girl smiled up at him with admiring eyes as she asked if he found everything alright. But when she noticed the two yaoi manga in with the random shonen, she couldn't help but give him a questioning look.
Thinking fast, Yamamoto leaned against the counter and brought himself closer to the clerk, the girl blushing in response.
"I'm sneaking those in for my little sister," he said with a play-boy wink and charming smile, which had the female clerk melting.
Being so mesmerized by Yamamoto's presence, the girl clerk didn't even bother to ask for I.D. for the adult manga on hand and just rang him up. After paying a good amount of cash for the books, and after getting them placed in a shopping bag, Yamamoto left the bookstore whistling a happy, but out of tune song. He just hoped that if Gokudera ever heard of this story that he wouldn't get jealous with him flirting with the female clerk in order to illegally buy explicit yaoi manga. He did it for him, after all!
Taking the stick down and having old Yamada lean on it again, the clerk redirected her away from Gokudera. Bowing his head, he apologized. "We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Please accept our deepest apologies. We do hope you will keep on shopping at our store," he then ushered old Yamada out of that row.
"Don't you dare apologize to that delinquent for me! He wanted to steal my purse, you know? No good! I'm telling you, he's no good! You'll see, once he tries to rob the store," she ranted on, while being directed to another section of the store.
"Why would I do such a thing, crazy old bitch?!" Gokudera yelled after her, shaking badly in uncontrolled anger. He so needed to blow something up, and that old hag was the preferred target! Oh yeah, he wanted to blow up her damned stick and see her fall on her fat ass! Well, at least he was now all alone in the aisle that had his interest. Only now he felt even more self-conscious about the nature of the product he wanted to buy.
But he had to produce it at the cash counter anyway, didn't he? And...And it wasn't like there was an age limit on the stuff or anything. Taking a calming breath again, Gokudera glanced about himself, making sure he was alone. He turned to the packages, tubes, and bottles that contained the lube, reading the labels and trying to discern the differences.
Okay...why the heck were there different flavors?! Gokudera was blinking. As he realized the only possible reason, images started to flood him and he shook his head. That was something he definitely wasn't ready yet to think about! Apart from that, the main difference he could discern was that most were water-based and the rest silicon-based.
Smart as he was, the little Italian understood the reason for this in a flash. Thinking of their little adventures in the shower, Gokudera decided to take the silicon-based stuff, as that wouldn't dissolve easily in water. Maybe they could even use that in the tub sometime...? This was an image he did like to have in the back of his head.
Unsure how much of the stuff they would need, but remembering the advice there could never be enough, Gokudera decided on the biggest silicon-based bottle of lube he could find. Now he only needed to go and pay for that stuff!
Yamamoto stood nervously before the door to Takesushi. He hoped that his father was super busy, because he tended to snoop whenever the taller teen bought something and brought it home. In fact, you could say that Tsuyoshi acted like a little boy about to open a present whenever he saw someone with an indiscernible plastic bag.
Taking in a deep breath, Yamamoto slid open the door and entered the business portion of his house, and for once in his life, Yamamoto felt very unlucky at that moment, because the store was practically empty, and his dad was just cleaning up the counter behind the sushi bar.
"Hey, Takeshi!" His father exclaimed from behind the counter as he stopped what he was doing to walk over to him. "Did the fresh air do you some good?"
"Uh…" The young jock mumbled while he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Y-Yeah, it really helped to calm me down!"
Yamamoto hated how he had stuttered then, because his father was staring at him inquisitively now, the older man's hazel eyes traveling down to the shopping bag his son carried.
"Ooh, I see you went shopping!" Tsuyoshi said with an excited smile. "So, what did you get?"
Yamamoto felt like his nerves were catching on fire as he saw his dad extend his hand out for the bag. Thinking fast, he just reached into his shopping bag and brought out the shonen manga he had bought, hoping that his father would just think the rest of the stuff in the bag were continued volumes.
"Oh, you know, I just thought of buying some manga to cheer me up, hahaha!" The taller teen laughed out nervously as he presented the manga to his dad.
Tsuyoshi looked over the manga cover with a critical eye before he questioned about it.
"Kuroshitsuji?" His father asked with concern, not liking the primly, overly sexy butler on the cover. "I don't know, Takeshi…are you sure this manga is catered towards boys?"
Yamamoto blinked stupidly for a second before he actually glanced at the front cover of the 'shonen' manga he had picked up. In all truth, he hadn't even looked at what he had picked up for his camouflage in the bookstore, and he had only pretended to read the description on the back. So when he saw the mischievous butler on the cover, he really didn't know what to think.
"Um…I'm sure it's shonen, because I found it in that section at the store…" The young swordsman muttered in confusion as he finally read the back cover. "It says it's about a little boy who loses his parents and forms a contract with a demon in order to find the people who shamed him and his noble family. The demon takes the form of a butler…and yeah…"
Holy crap! Why did this sound like a pedo-yaoi book?! Maybe it was just his mindset at the moment? Yeah! That had to be it!
"I guess the good looking butler is for bringing in a larger female audience? Ha..ha…" Yamamoto laughed out nervously again as his eyes silently begged is father for the chance to leave.
With a look of concern still on his face, Tsuyoshi just nodded his head.
"Okay, well…I hope you enjoy your new manga…"
"Y-Yeah…it sounded interesting…" The dark-haired teen stuttered out as he made a beeline for the stairs and to the relative safety of his room.
He really should have just bought the newest issue of Bleach, or Fairy Tale or something. Why of all things did he just grab something randomly from the shelf, and didn't even look at it before he bought it?!
Yamamoto swore he could already hear Gokudera's voice saying, 'You're such an idiot' in the back of his head.
Glancing over the shelves, the silver-haired bomber waited for a moment when the cash-counter was empty of other customers. He made his way over there fast and put all the things on the counter. The cashier was the clerk that had steered that old bitch away from him. He was all smiles when he rang up the toothpaste and shower gel. As he lifted the big bottle of shampoo, the only slightly smaller bottle of lube came to light.
Gokudera really tried hard to act totally cool about it, but all such pretenses failed when the clerk's smile turned into a conspiratorial grin.
"You seem to be up to some party...," he said with a wink.
A deep crimson blush flushed the pale Italian's cheeks, "Wha-what do you fucking care?!" To make matters even worse, old Yamada chose exactly that moment to appear at his side, sneakily seeming to have hid behind a nearby shelf. Maybe she wanted to watch her suspicions play out live before her, or maybe she had forgotten about her damn nasal spray and just wanted to pay. It didn't matter. All Gokudera knew was that this was too much.
Ripping the shopping bag from the clerk's hand, he stuffed the lube bottle inside as fast as he could. "Just tell me the fucking price, asshole!" He barked at the clerk.
"A delinquent and a pervert!" Old Yamada then decided, feeling her suspicions absolutely and indisputably confirmed. "What a filthy mouth you have on you!"
He definitely needed to bomb the whole store and the whole experience into oblivion! Throwing the fitting amount of cash on the counter, Gokudera was out of the store as fast as possible before he really would forget himself. It wouldn't do bringing shame to the Tenth by blowing up some civilians; even if they so deserved it. Only there was no way he could ever explain to the Tenth why they did!
Gokudera decided to find out if there was a way to just get that stuff from an internet store next time. Otherwise he would just send that baseball-idiot on that errand! Taking the next bus, all he wanted was just to get home.
When his bedroom door finally closed behind him, Yamamoto breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned against it. He gathered his thoughts for what he was about to do before he sat down on the edge of his bed, and grabbed the first yaoi manga he came across. Staring at the cover of Kuroshitsuji, the taller teen just gave the book a disgruntled look before he tossed it to the side and reached into his bag once again. Bringing out the tamer looking of the two official yaoi manga's he had bought, Yamamoto opened it and began to read.
At first, he really wasn't sure how he was supposed to get into it, because the main character acted sort of girly and whined all the time. And why was everything sparkling?! Yamamoto was certain that if this manga was made into an anime, everything would be pink and nauseatingly frilly. T he sex scenes were also a little awkward to look at, and didn't go into too much detail about how the process was done. Heck, Yamamoto was sure that instead of sex, the main guy was being raped! He was sure the main character hadn't consented to the act, but to his surprise, he looked absolutely fine afterwards and had even fallen in love with the guy who 'raped' him!
Tossing that confusing garbage aside, because he didn't want to read the rest, Yamamoto grabbed the last yaoi manga and stared at the cover. Now that he got a better look at it, one of the characters kind of looked like him, and the other sort of looked like Gokudera, but the hair color and facial structure was a bit different. A little intrigued by this, Yamamoto began to read. To his surprise, he found himself immersed within the love story; taking it more to heart because the characters reminded him of him and his boyfriend. And when Yamamoto finally reached the first sex scene, the young jock couldn't help but blush profusely. It was so detailed! Even though he actually felt self-conscious about reading it, Yamamoto continued on, memorizing every detail he could in hopes of doing it correctly whenever he had the chance with Gokudera. But, what Yamamoto really didn't expect, was how much he was actually enjoying reading the scene; imagining him and Gokudera in place of the characters.
Yamamoto was shocked to feel himself becoming hard.
Coming home, the feisty Italian felt decidedly better. He was back to his usual self, not caring what some bitchy old hag and an idiot store clerk thought of him. After putting the washing stuff in the bathroom, he took out the bottle of lube and looked at it for a moment. Unconsciously worrying his lower lip, he thought about what this meant. It was quite some step he was willing to take. Thinking of Yamamoto, though, he felt the corners of his lips tug up in a smile, felt a warmth flood him, and he just knew it felt right to take that step.
Now he only needed to try and use that stuff. Slowly Gokudera walked into his bedroom. He felt pretty awkward. It wasn't like he was a stranger at taking care of himself, and he certainly wasn't ashamed of it. That was only natural he'd read up on that! But touching himself there...that was new and different. Looking again at the bottle, Gokudera just knew he was way too tense and apprehensive at the moment. Sighing, he put the bottle in the drawer of his nightstand.
He decided to instead go to that message board again. Maybe reading up on it again might help calm his nerves a bit. He was a strong believer that good basic theoretical knowledge made for just as good practical performance.
Scrolling and clicking a bit more through the topics, Gokudera found pictures. He closed them faster than they had opened. Okay, there was stuff he definitely didn't need to see...but he did find another thread where guys were describing what turned them on (some of the things pretty disgusting!), and what they liked to think about when they were playing with themselves. Also, some of them described vividly what they did to get off. This finally helped Gokudera get a better idea on how to go about this. The vividness of those descriptions also helping him get into the right mood for any such endeavor.
Feeling his erection become almost unbearable against its constraints, Yamamoto put his yaoi manga aside and unzipped his pants. Lowering his boxers a bit, the young jock hissed as the cool air hit his heated skin. Grabbing himself in hand, Yamamoto let out a soft moan as he started rubbing up and down his shaft, his thumb massaging around the head as he thought of Gokudera being the one touching him. He missed the other so much, and it had been so long since they could be alone together. The dark-haired teen let out a whimper of want as he continued to stroke himself, his fantasies not doing him any good despite his need.
Feeling a bit of irritation that he wasn't getting the satisfaction he desired, Yamamoto slipped a hand underneath his shirt, dragging his fingers lightly across his skin until he reached a nipple. Taking it between his forefinger and thumb, he tweaked the hardened peak as he imagined Gokudera would, while he pumped himself simultaneously. But no matter what he did, no matter how much he thought of Gokudera, Yamamoto felt like he needed more.
Almost feeling lost on what to do, and completely frustrated that he wasn't able to get off like he usually did, Yamamoto was then reminded about the other bulge in his pants pocket. Reaching his hand into his pocket, the taller teen brought out his cell phone. He just stared at it for a moment as an idea came to mind. Yamamoto bit his bottom lip in nervousness as he thought about calling Gokudera. He really wanted to hear the other's voice.
In the end, with his need for the other outweighing the cons of what he was about to do (there was a possibility that Gokudera would get angry at him for calling him in his current state), Yamamoto pressed the speed dial button attached to Gokudera's number. Bringing the phone up to his ear, the taller teen heard his phone connect and begin to ring. All the young jock could do was sit there and wait then, one part of him hoping that Gokudera would answer, and another part of him fearing about the other teen answering and the reaction it would bring.
Feeling he now knew, what he needed to know, Gokudera shut his computer down. He went into his bedroom again. Mental images of what he had just read swam in his mind. As he slipped out of the Hawaiian print shirt, he thought of Yamamoto. They had seen each other only at school today. Not even the opportunity for a fleeting kiss had presented itself. He missed the baseball-freak's taste; his touch. Unconsciously, his fingertips brushed his nipple at the thought, making him moan softly.
Maybe this was the best way to go for him, he decided, as he realized what he had done. Thinking about the last time Yamamoto had been here, Gokudera slowly stripped. He thought of the way the other's hair had been matted to his face by sweat. The smaller teen hadn't been able to help himself, following the athlete into the bathroom. He could see the supple, sinewy body still glistening with the light sheen of sweat in his mind's eye only too clearly. As more clothes fell about him, the Italian's hands stroked lightly over his bared skin in the process.
He wished Yamamoto was here with him so desperately it almost hurt. It sometimes scared him how deep his feelings had grown in such a short time, but they had known each other for so much longer, and the other Guardian had never yet betrayed his trust. Thinking about this and how Yamamoto had learned even better to judge and counter his moods, he opened the zipper of his pants and was about to drop them when his cell rang.
Being half naked and with the thought of what he had been about to do very present in his mind, red heat flooded Gokudera's cheeks as he dropped his pants in nervous surprise. Flustered, he dropped to his knees, fumbling with his pants until he had the phone torn out. Self-conscious, he stared at the caller ID. Yamamoto! Fucking hell!
For a split-second he thought about not answering, but he ached so much for at least hearing his boyfriend's voice, he couldn't go through with it. It wasn't like Yamamoto could see him at the moment, right? Standing just in his shorts, he finally answered, "Hey there, what's up, Baseball-Freak, you forgot our math homework?" Gokudera was pretty sure he did a good job of sounding all cool and not like he was standing almost naked and half-hard in the middle of his bedroom about to try lubing himself up. Why the hell did shit like this always happen to him?
By the tenth ring, Yamamoto was thinking about hanging up, but to his surprise, he finally heard Gokudera answer. The taller teen's breath hitched at the words spoken to him; even though his boyfriend was making a jab at his intelligence (he conveniently forgot things in class so that Gokudera could tutor him). It was just the way he said it; the way how Gokudera was trying to sound cool and collected, but yet Yamamoto could still notice the distinctive waver of embarrassment in the other's voice. The young jock never knew how effective his lover's voice could be, but every syllable seemed to send a tremor of pleasure throughout his body, his aching erection twitching in desire.
"G-Gokudera…" Yamamoto stuttered out breathlessly, a crimson blush flourishing onto his cheeks as he heard himself speak out loud. "I…."
The taller teen grabbed onto his swollen member again, a small gasp that he tried to contain leaving his lips.
"I…I just wanted to hear your voice…" Yamamoto finally whispered out huskily, his hazel eyes shimmering with a need that Gokudera couldn't even see. "I miss you…"
And with that, Yamamoto felt too embarrassed to continue. How could he actually ask the other about having phone sex with him? Something told him that it wouldn't go over well…Oh man, why did he even do this in the first place?!
When that breathless voice hit his ear, Gokudera's hand clenched around the cell. There was an almost painful pull in his groin as his name was whispered with so much...need? The tiny gasp did not escape his ears, not when his whole body ached for Yamamoto; his awareness of him instantly heightened.
He had to swallow around a big lump in his throat at the longing he felt in his boyfriend's words. That voice really could undo him! "I miss you, too," Gokudera whispered back. His legs were feeling weak. Unsteady, he walked the few steps to his bed, sitting down and just listening to Yamamoto's uneven breathing. "I...I was thinking about you," he admitted softly. "I wish you were here..."
The feisty Italian didn't think about what he was doing too much. Some part of him was aware what this was, of course, but labeling it might have kept him from continuing. He just went with what he felt. "I want to touch you so much..." Gokudera's blush deepened again at his own words. Realizing how much he had put himself out there with these words, he waited on bated breath for Yamamoto's reaction.
Another shudder coursed through Yamamoto's body as Gokudera answered him, his voice gentle and honest. Happiness swelled in the taller teen's heart, knowing that his boyfriend missed him too. It always amazed him on just how far the both of them had gotten in their relationship, but every time he thought about it, Yamamoto couldn't help but smile.
"I wish I was with you, too," the darker-haired teen spoke lovingly into his phone, his hand pausing in its ministrations as he got lost in the warmth that spread through him at Gokudera's words. But when the silver-haired teen spoke again, it took Yamamoto by such surprise that he forgot how to breathe. Had he really just heard Gokudera correctly? Was the other really going through with this?!
With another shiver running down his spine and spurring his erection to harden even more, Yamamoto just closed his eyes as he started to move his hand up and down slowly again, imagining that he actually was there with Gokudera.
"I…I want to touch you too…" Yamamoto practically groaned with want into his phone, his voice breathless with need. "I want to kiss you, and taste you on my tongue."
Yamamoto swallowed hard as the next words he wanted to say came to his mind, his blush becoming more pronounced.
"I…I want to taste you all over, Gokudera."
The answer he got from Yamamoto was way more arousing and exciting than the little bomber would have thought possible. His boyfriend's voice was so filled with a need that reverberated with his own that his hardened member twitched in sympathy. Gokudera moaned softly at the suggestion. He lay back on the bed, closing his eyes. He imagined Yamamoto with him on this bed. His free hand moved down to his boxers. Lifting and pushing down the waistband first, he took himself in hand. This time his moan was deeper.
"Hm...Yeah...touch me, Yamamoto," he pleaded softly, "...feels so good..." Although his own hand was softer, Gokudera imagined it was the jock's calloused hand that slowly pumped him now. Needy, he arched into the touch. Thinking of what Yamamoto's tongue could do to him, the feisty Italian tried to hold the cell with his shoulder to his ear, so he could play with his nipple, too, but that damned thing was just too small. He would have to keep imagining then.
"Your lips...your tongue..." Gokudera moaned as his thumb softly rubbed across the slit, spreading the first drops of yearning. "I need to feel you closer...so much closer..." Again he was arching into his own touch, as if he was trying to press himself into Yamamoto above him. "You're so hot against me," he whispered, wishing so desperately he could truly feel his boyfriend's heat. His hand now pumped himself at a steady pace.
The moans and pleads for more were enough to make pre-cum start dribbling down Yamamoto's length. A shudder of ecstasy cascaded down his back at the thought of the other's warm body pressed against his; his lips and teeth kneading Gokudera's flesh possessively.
"I want to leave my mark all over your body," Yamamoto rumbled out huskily as he started pumping himself faster. "I want to suck on your skin and touch you everywhere I can."
Another low moan tumbled from the young jock's lips as he then imagined his boyfriend splayed before him on his bed (or Gokudera's bed; it didn't matter), looking utterly ravished and yearning for more.
"You're so beautiful…" Yamamoto breathed out with deep emotion, wanting nothing more than for Gokudera to be there with him, but he couldn't have met up with him today because of after school baseball practice, and because he had wanted to do some research. "I want to pleasure you in so many ways, Gokudera…I want to take you're length into my mouth and taste your essence on my tongue…I want to nibble and suck the inside of your thighs…"
The taller teen then swallowed thickly, not sure how Gokudera would respond to his last description and to what he wanted to say now, but he was sure he had heard the other say that he wanted to feel him even closer…
"I want to mold your body to mine…" Yamamoto murmured hoarsely with desire, his breaths coming out in gasps with each pump of his rough hand. "I want…I want to be one with you, Gokudera; to be incased in your tight heat. I want to feel all of you…please…"
The feisty Italian imagined Yamamoto's teeth grazing his skin; knew how good they felt. "Yeah...bite me...mark my skin," He whispered back breathlessly. He already had to hide a colorful hickey Yamamoto had left too high on his neck, but none of the other's had looked twice at the skull patterned bandana he wore for a few days. Although he had ranted about it, Gokudera loved the feeling of his boyfriends hot lips sucking like that on his skin, and the possessiveness the mark showed.
A new blush flooded his cheeks then. It definitely wasn't the first time Yamamoto had complimented him like this, but every time it got to him. No one had ever said anything like it to him. He never knew how to answer as incredible warmth washed over his body. "Takeshi," was all he could say, but all of his feelings were poured into his boyfriend's first name.
An excited hiss escaped him at the next suggestions. Gokudera shuddered as he thought about it. Since that first time, when his nerves had gotten the better of him and he had stopped the other, Yamamoto had never tried to take him into his mouth again. His thumb teasing the head of his leaking, throbbing flesh, the little bomber imagined it to be his boyfriend's tongue. "Aaah...Takeshi...it feels...so good," he moaned, his hand speeding up with his growing need.
It was then, that Yamamoto whispered to him what he really wanted. It sent a jolt of pure desire right into Gokudera's groin. He could almost see those hazel orbs, darkened with need, burn into his eyes with the question. There was no hesitation. He did not need to think about it; it was all he wanted, all he was trying to prepare for. "Yes...yes...Takeshi...I want you...I need to feel you...inside of me...one..." Trying to imagine what it would be like with Yamamoto's panting at his ear, with his hand pumping himself vigorously was just too much.
"Take~shi," he groaned as he came copiously over his hand, splashing his stomach and even his chest.
Yamamoto could feel the muscles in his stomach tighten every time Gokudera called out his name in pleasure. He couldn't even begin to describe the warmth that spread through him at the sounds that his lover was making after he had suggested sucking him off. But when he heard the other moan in approval after he had asked if he could finally join with him, Yamamoto didn't know what to think. So shocked by Gokudera's answer, the taller teen actually stopped what he was doing as he heard Gokudera continue to moan with need on the other side of the phone.
But his shock didn't last long.
A flood of relief and jubilation washed over him as he started to pump his shaft in time to Gokudera's gasps of pleasure, Yamamoto moaning deeply from the friction and from how sexy his boyfriend sounded. The taller teen started thrusting his hips into his hand then in time with his movements, imagining he was entering Gokudera's tight heat.
"Yes...Hayato...yes!" Yamamoto called out in rapture as he tightened his hand around his hard member, imagining Gokudera tightening his inner muscles around his shaft. "You're…so amazing…"
And then, he heard the other cum.
Like a chain reaction, Yamamoto came undone too. Just imagining Gokudera coming at the mere thought of penetration was just too much.
"H-Hayato~" He moaned ecstatically as white hot liquid shot up to his chest, his whole body spasming with pleasure.
As his orgasm subsided, Yamamoto collapsed onto his bed, his breath coming out in deep, short gasps. He could hear Gokudera breathing heavily in his ear, and it actually felt like the feisty bomber was really there with him. But it was the cold chill of his bedroom that brought him back down to reality. Gokudera wasn't there with him...and he had stupidly left one of his good shirts on throughout the whole thing and had just ejaculated on it. Trying to smother the need to groan pitifully at his boyfriend's lack of physical presence, and for ruining one of his favorite shirts, Yamamoto just listened to his lover breathe, the noises slowly calming the young jock down.
"I miss you so much, Hayato," Yamamoto whispered out sadly, his voice quivering with need. "So, so much…"
Another hiss tore from Gokudera's lips as he listened to his boyfriend cum with his name on his lips. It sent wonderful shudders of after waves through his body. Softly, he moaned into the phone.
For moments they just listened to each other breathing. The silver-haired guardian wished so much his raven-haired opposite was with him, and that he would take him in his arms right now. He missed their strength covering him, making him feel secure at night and...loved.
His heart ached when he heard the longing in Yamamoto's voice. "I miss you, too, Takeshi," he answered softly. "Seeing you, without being able to touch you...it's so hard," Gokudera admitted. He had worked on himself and he was getting better at communicating his feelings, and not just the explosive ones.
With what he felt himself, and what Yamamoto had suggested just a moment ago, the feisty bomber decided to say a little more. "I-I can't wait for that weekend," he said softly. His stomach started fluttering, his just slowed down heart picking up it's pace again as a new blush rose to his cheeks. His words were a mere whisper now, but from the loudness of Yamamoto's breathing, he was sure the other one had the cell pressed to his face. "I-I w-want to do it, Takeshi. I want...I need to be one with you."
Holding onto his cell tightly, Gokudera waited on Yamamoto's answer to this. It was what they both wanted, right? Why should they wait so much longer?
Yamamoto felt his heart melt at his lover's words; wanting nothing more than to hold the other in his arms at the moment.
"It is hard...it's almost unbearable to go so long without touching you," the taller teen agreed as he shuffled around on his bed a bit to start taking off his messy shirt. While he did this, he almost missed the other part of what Gokudera said, but thankfully he didn't. Just as he completely pulled his sullied shirt over his head, Yamamoto swore that all his biological functions halted with the Italian's words.
Shock didn't even begin to cover what he was feeling. He had seriously only thought Gokudera went along with his suggestion over the phone because they were in the heat of the moment, but…he actually wanted to be with him in every way.
"H-Hayato…" Yamamoto finally choked out in his surprise, his heart skipping erratically in his chest as his voice filled with emotion. He felt honored that Gokudera was even willing to want to do this with him; with only him. "I…yeah…the weekend can't come fast enough…I want to share myself with you so badly."
But as Yamamoto thought of this, another idea came to mind; one that made the young jock blush self-consciously.
"Um…so you really want to go through with it; even though it will…hurt?" Yamamoto spoke up with uncertainty, fearing the idea of actually hurting his beloved Italian. "And um…don't we need lube, or something, too?"
There was a moment of silence that made Gokudera waver. Had he said too much? Was he pushing things? But it had been Yamamoto who had suggested it, or were those only words? Only...dirty talk? Before he could succumb to the doubts that threatened to bubble up inside of him, he got an answer, and it was the right one.
"Good," he breathed, relieved his boyfriend really felt the same.
Another warm wave washed through him then at the concern the young swordsman showed. A smile graced Gokudera's face. "I already got the stuff. Bought it today, actually. And don't worry too much about the pain. With the right...preparation, you can minimize that, and it's not like I'm that Stupid Cow. I can bear more than a little pain, okay?"
The feisty Italian sounded a little surer than he actually felt about that particular matter. There was a certain anxiety, but there was also a conviction. "I believe it's worth it, Takeshi, just...just to share myself totally with you," he said softly, believing every word he uttered.
Wait…Gokudera had already prepared ahead of time and bought the lube?! Just the mere thought of his boyfriend personally going in to buy the stuff with the thought of using it for their union sent blood flowing in two directions in the young jocks body; some flowing to his blushing cheeks, and the rest was flowing down to his groin.
"Y-You already bought some?!" The taller teen exclaimed in shock as his member became instantly hard again.
And when Yamamoto heard the rest of what Gokudera had to say, a shiver of pleasure sparked down the dark-haired teen's spine as loving warmth spread throughout his body. His boyfriend had come so far in the two months they were together. He was easily saying such things that would have been impossible for him months ago. Yamamoto was so proud of his little bomber's progress, and couldn't help falling in love with the other all the more.
"Hayato, I…" The swordsman started as three specific words he wanted to say came to his mind, but he quickly shook such thoughts away. He couldn't say those three words now…it wasn't the right place and time. No, he wanted to say them when he was facing Gokudera, and looking directly into his eyes.
So instead, he said, "You're amazing…" as his member twitched with need once again, his voice becoming husky with lust. "You have no idea how much I wish I could have you right now. Have you…actually tried out the lube yet?"
Yamamoto waited patiently for the answer, hoping that his tone hadn't been too forward, but damn he was so hard right now! How could mere words have such an effect on him? The weekend really couldn't come fast enough!
The way his revelation flustered Yamamoto, made Gokudera smile even wider. For the moment, his bad experience with buying the stuff was forgotten as he was too lost in the good feelings talking to his boyfriend gave him. Just hearing the jock's voice made him feel so much better. It was still a bit scary how much the other one meant to him, how deep his feelings were running, but the Vongola Famiglia was the first real constant in his life that he could depend on, and Yamamoto especially had never once betrayed his trust; even back when he still just hated the other's guts.
His fellow guardian then said his name again in that special voice. It sent shivers down Gokudera's spine every time. "Wha-what is it, Takeshi?" He asked unsteadily, affected by the emotions he heard in the other one's voice.
"Shit," the little bomber breathed at the lustful suggestion stated in that husky tone. Gokudera was pretty damn sure Yamamoto could read him the most boring baseball statistics in that voice and he would get off to it! Even now he was reacting to it. Hadn't they just...? A bit annoyed at his own reaction and flustered at the question, his tone was grumpy then. "Idiot! Didn't I just say I only bought it just now? When was I supposed to have done that?"
It was his own anxiety talking. He wanted to do this and he had read up on it as good as possible, but this was still something totally new to him, and he had read of bad experiences, too. The little Italian bit his lower lip and looked at the drawer that held the bottle. He had wanted to try it before this call came, hadn't he? Did he have the nerve to do it now? It was something so new and intimate, but hadn't he said he wanted to share himself? This way, he could take advantage of Yamamoto's husky voice helping him with the right mood...
His stomach fluttering badly, cheeks flushed, and heart beating rapidly, Gokudera reached a decision. "I...I wanted to try it but then...then you called. I...c-could try it now...with...with you...?" He had no idea how it would feel; how he would react to this. Gokudera wasn't too sure about this at all, but whatever happened did concern Yamamoto, too. This seemed to be the only way they could experience this together. Also, the jock not seeing him when he tried this for the first time somehow made him feel better.
"S-Sorry!" Yamamoto yelped out in surprise at Gokudera's sudden change in tone. He had really crossed the line, hadn't he? The taller teen knew he shouldn't have suggested such a thing. "I-I just wasn't sure exactly when you bought it today. I didn't know if you had time to try it yet or not…"
The young jock felt his member begin to soften due to shock value and the regret he was starting to feel for suggesting such a risqué thing in the first place, but then Gokudera spoke up again; his voice was softer and unsure. Yamamoto's heart rate picked up instantly at the other's suggestion, a low whimper leaving his throat as pearly beads of pre-cum began to drip down his re-stiffening member. Just the very idea of Gokudera preparing himself as they talked over the phone was beyond sexy, but Yamamoto quickly tried to bring himself back down to Earth. This would be the first time Gokudera had done such a thing; and over the phone no less! It would more than likely hurt, and he hated the idea of the other hurting himself for the sake of his pleasure.
"S-Shit…" Yamamoto choked out as he grabbed his weeping erection, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the heated touch. He really needed release. The thought of Gokudera touching himself in such a way was way too good to be true, but he had to think of the other first!
"I-If you're uncomfortable with the idea then you don't have to do it, Hayato," Yamamoto stammered out as he tried to strangle a moan in the back of his throat. "B-But if you're willing to try…I'll try my best to help you as much as I can from where I am…"
The taller teen ended his last sentence with a note of uncertainty. He had no idea how he could help the other when they were so far apart. He could only comfort him with words at best, but what help would that be?
Yamamoto's whimper at his suggestion sent a shiver through Gokudera's body. Every lustful sound the other made seemed to affect him. His insecurity rose though, as no real answer was forthcoming from Yamamoto. The little Italian felt very vulnerable at this moment, and choked around a lump forming in his throat. He shouldn't have said anything more on the matter. Maybe that would have been better.
Only then, his boyfriend finally answered. The understanding the jock showed, relieved Gokudera. This really wasn't too easy on him, but if they did this now, as together as possible, he would see it through and not back out from nerves. Even though Yamamoto couldn't see it, he nodded in answer and a show of resolve.
"O-okay...I think it's g-good to share this as much as possible," the little bomber declared. Swallowing once more with the things he had read flitting through his mind, he leaned over and opened the drawer; getting the bottle out. "I think it's best that I put you on speaker now." He would certainly need both hands in between, and this was the best way. Gokudera slipped his boxers off and dropped them somewhere down the side of his bed. Lying back down, he made himself as comfortable as possible; hitting the speaker button as he put the cell down close to him.
"Can you still hear me good and clear?" He asked, trying not to think too much about what he was doing exactly. Had somebody told him half a year ago that today he would be lying naked on his bed, and trying to shove a finger up his ass (with Yamamoto listening in no less!); he would have bombed that fucking crazy person out of existence. But here he was, a little jittery, yet still excited at what they were doing.
The Rain Guardian swallowed thickly at his lover's words, feeling touched by the thought that Gokudera was putting into this.
"I-I think it's good to share this, too," Yamamoto agreed nervously, his body shaking with anticipation and uncertainty for what was about to happen. "I just wish I could be there with you instead of just on the phone…but I don't think my dad will let me leave this late on a school night."
The taller teen cursed his luck then as he made a noise of approval at his boyfriend's suggestion to speaker phone. After all, Gokudera was going to have his hands full…
…And that very idea almost made him cum again! He really had to learn to better control himself; especially if he was going to be able to last long enough to give his precious bomber any pleasure for when they took their extra step!
Yamamoto was broken out of his thoughts, though, when he heard the Italian situate himself on the other side of the phone and speak to him again; Gokudera's voice sounding a little louder than it had previously.
"Y-Yes," Yamamoto called out breathlessly as he tried to hold back another moan. He was so hot and bothered right now that his whole body was straining for release. "I-If the pain becomes too much for you, then you don't have to continue on my account. I don't want you to get hurt because of me…"
The raven-haired teen blushed heavily then as another thought came to mind. He knew he would feel weird just sitting there and listening to Gokudera, because he felt like he really needed to contribute. But he was so nervous and unsure if he could do what he wanted properly.
"U-Um…Hayato?" Yamamoto questioned nervously as a heavy blush marred his tan cheeks. He couldn't believe he was actually going through with his previous thought. "I-I don't know if this will help or not, but if it would be easier on you, I…I wouldn't mind trying to walk you through it—I mean, I just did a lot of research today, and I think I have a good grasp on what has to be done!" Yamamoto corrected himself quickly, his embarrassment skyrocketing with every word that left his mouth. "I mean…sorry, never mind…I probably just made you feel more awkward, didn't I?"
And with that, Yamamoto hung his head in defeat as he waited for his boyfriend's answer. He really, really was an idiot!
Sighing softly, Gokudera agreed, "I wish you could be here with me, too. But I know, I understand."
A smile softened his features then, "It's really not supposed to be so bad. Don't worry too much, Takeshi. And I'm not just doing this for you, you know?" He wanted to be united with Yamamoto; wanted to feel as close to him as possible. From his research, though, he knew it could go really bad if you didn't know what you were doing and not prepared. The little bomber was tough and resilient, and pretty sure he could bear it, but if he could make it easier on himself, why shouldn't he? Also, he didn't want to scare Yamamoto; who was always concerned about him.
"Yeah?" Gokudera could hear insecurity in his boyfriend's voice. Was he really so anxious for him? With enough lube and going slow, it wasn't supposed to be so bad. It was something else entirely that Yamamoto had on his mind though. It made the feisty Italian feel good that his boyfriend had done research on the matter. It only proved, once more, that his trust in him wouldn't be betrayed. But before he could answer, the jock's insecurity got the better of him, and he tried to take back his offer.
Gokudera's hand combed through his hair as he looked at the ceiling. "Not more than I already felt, to be honest," he admitted with a sigh. Right now, he really wished for a cigarette, but he had quit; and he wasn't such a weakling that he'd start again!
The little bomber could almost see Yamamoto's hanging head, since he knew his boyfriend very well by now. "I...I think it would really help...you know?" He said then. "He-hearing your voice...I think it would help me in pretending that you're here...and help me with not feeling quite so...awkward." Gokudera blushed then. He really had changed for Yamamoto. He tried very hard to be honest about his feelings with him. The things he had told him were words he wouldn't have thought he'd say.
When he heard Gokudera say that he didn't feel any more awkward then beforehand, Yamamoto couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. Gokudera really was amazing. Yamamoto knew he would have felt really awkward at the suggestion…but he probably would have agreed to it in the end anyway. Another blush tinged the taller teen's cheeks then at the thought. Maybe someday, he could pay Gokudera back by preparing himself over the phone…?
A shiver of interest and fear rolled down the young jock's spine at the thought, knowing it was a little too early for him to be thinking about that at the moment when he hadn't even fully had sex with Gokudera yet. He had to take things one step at a time in order to not overwhelm his lover, or even himself.
Yamamoto was broken out of his inner musings when he heard Gokudera speak up again, the other's voice filled with an awkward, yet wanting tone as he agreed to his earlier suggestion. The surprised Rain Guardian could feel his hardened member twitch with desire as his brain finally registered that Gokudera wanted him to walk him through the process.
"R-Really?!" Yamamoto exclaimed in surprise, his tone filling with joy despite the feelings of insecurity he still felt. "I…I was thinking like that too, but I wasn't sure if you would see it in the same way…"
The taller teen smiled lovingly then as his tone became affectionate.
"You never cease to amaze me, Hayato," Yamamoto spoke with honest devotion as he mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do. He hoped he didn't mess this up! "Do…Do you have your lube at the ready?"
The sudden change in Yamamoto's mood was all too obvious to Gokudera. He would never understand how his boyfriend could turn from depressed to super happy in, like, a second, but the excitement he heard in the others voice was way better than the defeated tone he had spoken in just a moment ago.
"Yes, really, stupid", he answered teasingly with a smile that even reflected in his voice.
The little bomber's blush grew deeper at the compliment. Once again, he didn't know what to say to that, so he said nothing and just enjoyed the warm feeling those words gave him.
"Yeah...I got it right here," Gokudera then answered, lifting the bottle a little like he wanted to show it to Yamamoto.
"O-Okay…" The taller teen started nervously as he unconsciously licked his lips in thought. "Um…I don't know how you're positioned on…on your bed…but, um…just choose whatever position feels the most comfortable to you, okay?"
Yamamoto's mind rushed to come up with what he wanted to say next as he thought over the steps for preparation. Even though his yaoi manga had been a little vague concerning actual gay sex protocol, and he hadn't stayed in the yaoi fanfiction section long enough to pick up on everything, Yamamoto felt he had at least a generalization on what had to be done. It seemed that now, more than ever, he'd have to rely on his instincts to see him through.
"Okay, just close your eyes for a moment and imagine I'm there with you," Yamamoto started again as he lowered his voice to a soothing whisper; a twinge of lust in his tone. "Imagine that I'm holding you close to me as we lie together on your bed; my hand brushing your hair from out of your face as I place soft kisses against your skin…"
Yamamoto swallowed thickly again as he took his own advice and closed his eyes as well, imagining he could feel the warmth of his lover's body against his. Sitting up in bed once again, the taller teen leaned against his headboard as he held the phone to his ear, while his other hand slowly massaged his aching member.
"Now apply the lube to your fingers, imagining them as…as my own," Yamamoto choked out with a pleasured groan as his own fingers tingled at the thought of feeling the cool gel against his skin. "I slowly trace my hand across your backside until…until I find your entrance. I circle the outer ring with one of my fingers before I slowly, very slowly, push one finger inside of you."
Gokudera swallowed nervously. "I'm...I'm on my back...waiting for you," he whispered.
Following Yamamoto's directions, he closed his eyes and spread his legs as far as it was still comfortable. His boyfriend's voice became the husky whisper that made him shiver in anticipation. The feisty bomber thought of Yamamoto looking deep into his eyes, and touching him tenderly. His hands brushed against his naked skin like the jock's would. Softly, Gokudera moaned.
"O-okay," opening his eyes shortly to see what he was doing, the silver-haired bomber squirted a good amount of the gel onto his fingers. His head dropping back onto the pillow, he shut his eyes again; trying to imagine Yamamoto softly stroking him. His hand then went between his legs. Although the other one spoke slowly, it was all way too fast. Gokudera touched his hot entrance with his cool, coated fingers and arched up, hissing at the sizzling feeling. He bit his lower lip as he got used to the feeling, and the gel warmed more to his skin.
"Slower..." He begged. "Go slower, Takeshi..." A sigh left his lips as his finger stroked and massaged the ring-muscle. "Touch me more..." He felt the tight muscle slowly slacken under the constant pressure. "Now..." With a little more pressure, and aided by the good amount of lube, his middle finger slid into his body. It was the oddest feeling, but really not bad. Pushing the finger in as far as it would go, Gokudera, very carefully, wriggled it a little.
"It…it feels so...hot...and a bit odd..." He tried to describe it, but it wasn't too easy. The wriggling didn't hurt, so he let the finger almost slide out, and pushed it back in. This time, he softly groaned. "It...It's really not…so bad..." It still felt odd, but the friction was...nice. Again trying to sink into the fantasy, Gokudera imagined Yamamoto was slowly pumping the finger in and out, and it even started to feel good. His second hand went for his member that was beginning to get interested.
Yamamoto swore his heart stopped the moment his lover hissed in pain over the phone. Oh no, had he done something wrong?! Was he going too fast?!
Apparently he was, once he heard Gokudera speak up again. A wave of shame washed over the young swordsman for a moment as his companion asked him to touch him a little more. He really had gotten ahead of himself.
"S-Sorry…" Yamamoto mumbled out in his shame as he heard the soft sighs and whimpers of his boyfriend on the other line. "I guess I really got ahead of myself there, huh? Haha…"
But before the taller teen could feel too bad for what he had done, he heard Gokudera speak up again, but this time, he was talking about how the finger felt inside of him. The young jock swore he had never heard anything so hot in his entire life.
"T-That's good, at least," Yamamoto spoke up again with a note of relief in his voice as a shiver of pleasure rolled down his spine. The dark-haired teen closed his eyes again as he thought over his next actions. He'd have to go slower, and try to distract Gokudera from whatever uncomfortable feelings he was experiencing.
"I slowly move my finger in and out of you, trying to get you used to the feeling…" The anxious Rain Guardian started again as he tried to imagine what he would do if he was actually there with his beloved bomber. "I stroke your side affectionately and kiss your stomach as I move my finger inside of you…I…I wiggle the finger around a bit when it's fully…fully sheathed…and curl it; trying to find your good spot."
Yamamoto swallowed nervously after that, wondering if it was too soon to find that certain spot, but willing to try anyway. After all, he wanted his precious bomber to feel good.
"I then take your hardened member in my free hand and gently rub up and down it…swirling my thumb over the head…" The taller teen moaned out as he started doing those same actions with his own aching member. "A-Are you ready for a second finger, Hayato?"
Gokudera moaned softly when Yamamoto described his actions again. This was way better than before. "Hmm...yeah..." He imagined the sweet kisses as his finger slid in and out. Like his boyfriend suggested, he wiggled the finger deep inside him then; curling it carefully.
"It...it feels...weird..." The little Italian admitted. He thought of the anatomic charts he had studied. Applying his knowledge of where the prostate was in the charts to the position he was now in, Gokudera turned his finger a bit. While he again carefully moved it, his other hand was mimicking the actions Yamamoto suggested in his sexy voice. "Oh yeah...your hand feels so good," he moaned.
Aiming in the supposedly right direction, Gokudera curled his finger again, but nothing happened. With a little groan, he pushed the finger in a tiny bit deeper and brushed against a tiny nub, sending jolts through his body. "Fuck!" His eyes snapped open in surprise as he panted. "I... I think I've got it..." Pushing in his finger again as far as possible, and aiming for the same spot, this time, he hit it dead on. Jolts of pleasure shot through his body again; making him arch his back and moan deeply. "Fuck...this is good!"
Biting his lower lip, Gokudera calmed himself a bit. He needed to talk to Yamamoto. "It feels...really incredible...like...fireworks exploding somewhere below your stomach..." Sometime during his discovery, the other one had asked him something. Oh yeah, he remembered. "Yeah...Yeah...I'm ready..."
Yamamoto whimpered in delight as he heard his lover's moans of pleasure over the phone; even if he said that his actions made him feel weird.
"Y-You feel amazing too…" Yamamoto whispered out huskily as he imagined thrusting his finger in and out of the other's entrance. "You're so warm…and tight…"
The taller teen snapped out of his fantasy, though, at hearing his beloved bomber curse at the top of his lungs. Fearing that his directions had ended up hurting the other again, Yamamoto waited fearfully on bated breath as he questioned his lover if he was alright. But the answer he got was beyond anything that Yamamoto could imagine. Gokudera had actually found his prostate after only a short while.
"You're amazing…" Yamamoto whispered out in awe and affection as Gokudera continued to moan in pleasure into his ear until he spoke up again, describing his experience. The young jock couldn't help but moan longingly as he started pumping his aching erection a little faster. "That sounds incredible, Hayato. I wish I could actually be the one giving you pleasure right now."
And then he heard his lover's next words, and the rest of the blood in Yamamoto's body seemed to drain to his groin. He really wished he could have been there with Gokudera.
"I slowly push my second finger into you, and wait for you to adjust…" The Rain Guardian moaned with need as he continuously rubbed the head of his erection. "I then…spread my fingers inside of you in a scissoring motion…and start to stretch you…occasionally moving my fingers in and out of you…and brushing your prostate."
Gokudera blushed a bit at the new compliment. It was still something pretty new to him. Yamamoto was the first one to say such things, and he was doing this on a regular basis. The smaller teen still got a bit flustered about it, but he loved the way it made him feel. "I so wish you were here, too...but...but you do give me pleasure...I...I l-like hearing your voice." Damn! He had almost slipped and said that L-word! He really needed to watch it. That was too much. It was too early, and Yamamoto wouldn't believe him anyway, would he? The spiteful Smokin' Bomb declaring his love...yeah right...
Concentrating on the moment, the feisty Italian did as his boyfriend directed. Slowly, he pushed in the second finger. "Ngh..." It wasn't quite as easy as before, and it burned a little at first. But as Yamamoto was slower now, Gokudera took the time resting and getting used to the new stretching feeling. The burning subsided fast, and he scissored his fingers like the jock wanted.
"Ah...nh...it's so tight..." He groaned. Slowly, he started to pump himself again. He heard his boyfriend moaning, and concentrated on that sexy sound, as moving the two fingers in and out didn't feel quite as nice as before. "Yes...please, Takeshi," he moaned softly, begging him for that good feeling from before.
Pushing the two fingers in as deep as possible again, and curling them slightly, he brushed his sweet spot once more. "Ah! Takeshi!" On the wave of that wonderful feeling washing over him, Gokudera moved the two fingers faster, scissoring them and stretching, while his hand on his hard flesh pumped at the same speed. "It's good...so good..." Again he aimed for that bundle of nerves, moaning in pleasure. "Takeshi," he rasped his boyfriend's name breathlessly.
Yamamoto moaned long and low as Gokudera continued to gasp and beg in his ear. How was it possible for the other to become sexier with every second that passed by?
"I stretch you out a little more…" The taller teen groaned out in ecstasy as he imagined Gokudera writhing in pleasure underneath his touch, "…before I start thrusting my fingers into you harder; hitting your prostate continuously as I pump your member in time to my thrusts."
Another long groan left the young jock's lips as he started rubbing his now leaking erection faster than before, continuous grunts and whimpers of pleasure leaving his lips as the friction felt delicious against his heated skin.
"Hayato…Hayato…I…I need you…so badly…" Yamamoto gasped out between each pump of his hand. "A-Are you ready for the last finger, Hayato? Please…I need to be inside you…"
Just like Yamamoto said, Gokudera wiggled and scissored his two fingers; stretching the tight muscle. "Oh yeah...Takeshi...Ah...Ah!" Moaning and whimpering, he moved the fingers faster and harder as directed; hitting his sweet spot.
"Need...Need you, too...so bad...so fucking bad," the feisty bomber answered breathlessly. Before his closed eyes, he saw his damn sexy, naked boyfriend touching himself. He wanted to feel him; and he needed him so much that it hurt.
"Any...Anything so I...can feel you fill me...Need to feel you inside of me," while Gokudera whispered these words, he slowly pushed in the third finger. "Nnnngh..." This time, it really wasn't feeling too good. It burned and stung. Gokudera panted harder, biting his lower lip.
Pumping his hot flesh a little rougher, he tried to drown the pain in pleasure. "Ta-Takeshi..." The little bomber choked out, wanting to be held in Yamamoto's strong, comforting arms, and to be kissed. A pained hiss escaped him as he pushed those fingers in deeper.
Yamamoto had to clamp down hard around his erection to stop himself from coming right there and then as he heard Gokudera's desperate moans for him. He couldn't cum before Gokudera! That just wouldn't be right if he was gratified before his precious bomber could find release with everything he was going through!
And when he heard Gokudera desperately whisper his need for him in his ear again, all Yamamoto could think of was somehow sneaking out of his house just so he could hold Gokudera to him and fulfill both of their desires. But before he could even think of how stupid that idea was because he wouldn't be able to even run in his current state, another hiss of pain from his lover made his blood run cold.
"W-Woah, Hayato! Stop!" Yamamoto shouted in surprise over the phone as he completely forgot about his own needs for the moment to worry about his boyfriend's state. "If three fingers are too much then don't push it! You could really hurt yourself!"
This was bad though, if Gokudera couldn't handle three fingers at least, then how would he be able to handle Yamamoto inside of him? The taller teen wasn't one to brag, but he was just as thick as three fingers, he'd have to say.
"Shh…just relax, Hayato," Yamamoto shushed soothingly as he took a deep breath and tried to calm his own nerves. "Stop moving your fingers for a moment, and try to adjust for a little bit. Imagine…Imagine that I'm rubbing my hand up and down your member soothingly, and that I'm kissing you to distract you from the pain. And then, I'm gently prying your lips apart to enter your mouth; our tongues wrapping around each other's in an intimate embrace…"
Gokudera bit his lower lip again as he heard Yamamoto's anxious shout. Damn! This was bad. He should have better controlled himself. He didn't want his boyfriend to worry. Although it burned and stung, it was nothing he couldn't bear! Fearing he'd scared Yamamoto off of trying to do this for real, felt way worse.
Biting his lip harder to keep himself from making any more pained sounds, the feisty bomber was just about to push the fingers deeper when he was softly asked to stop. Gokudera only then realized he had held his breath and tensed up, which had made things more difficult for himself. Panting, he tried to relax as the other suggested.
Once again Yamamoto whispered what he would do. The smaller teen followed the directions, stroking himself soothingly, and moaning softly again. The thought of the kind of kiss the other suggested, sent a shiver down Gokudera's spine.
"Ah...Takeshi...yes...I...want to taste you, too," he whispered, missing that special flavor that was Yamamoto Takeshi.
"I...push your tongue back gently...I...I enter your mouth...hmm...you taste so good..." Losing himself in the fantasy once more, Gokudera unconsciously moved his tongue the way he would in the jock's mouth. His fist kept a steady pace around his aching flesh as his thumb spread the creamy pearls around its head. He finally relaxed, and the pressure around the fingers lessened; the stinging subsiding.
His breathing evened out. "It's better..." Gokudera admitted then.
A lewd moan left Yamamoto's lips as Gokudera described how he kissed him back, imagining the feeling of the other's tongue in his mouth.
"You…taste even better," the taller teen panted out as he unconsciously licked his lips; like he could actually taste his lover.
And then, he heard what he had been hoping to hear. Apparently, Gokudera had finally relaxed enough to let the pain subside in him, and his breathing was even again, too.
"That's good," Yamamoto smiled adoringly into his phone as a sigh of relief left him. "Now move the fingers in and out of you very slowly. When you feel comfortable again with that, try curling them or moving them around inside of you to help stretch you out a bit more."
The young jock blushed then as he realized that he had completely forgotten about the sex talk, and had gone off into actual directions for Gokudera to follow. He guessed that he had been so relieved that his boyfriend hadn't really hurt himself that he forgot to make his speech sound sexy. Instead, it sounded like he was doting on the other.
"Um…" Yamamoto started out nervously as he started massaging his still aching member again, trying to set the mood to where it once was. "W-When I feel like you're ready enough…I start moving my fingers in and out of you at a faster pace, continuously hitting your prostate as I pump your length in time with my thrusts."
Another low groan left the young jocks lips as he closed his eyes and imagined his fingers encased in the other's tight heat while he thrust into him as fast as he could.
"Tell me when you're ready for me, Hayato…" Yamamoto moaned out in ecstasy. "I want to enter you so badly! I need to be surrounded by you…Inside of you…"
Gokudera could actually hear the relief in his boyfriend's voice when he told him it felt better. He followed the advice he was given. Of course, it was the same he had read himself, but it was good to hear it. He had been too distracted with the pain to think of the most basic things.
Slowly, the little bomber moved the three fingers. He felt so full! Although he still felt stretched, it didn't hurt anymore. His fingers moved a little faster. The sense of friction was intense now. A soft moan finally left his lips again.
Yamamoto's words became even more suggestive. Gokudera pushed the fingers in deep and curled them; hitting his prostate. "Takeshi!" With the jolts of pleasure ripping through his body once more, any feelings of discomfort were drowned out. Just like his boyfriend had suggested, his three fingers moved fast in and out; brushing and hitting his sweet spot.
The moans of Yamamoto filled his ear, and the words that followed were so hot that Gokudera whimpered in need. His hand pumped his throbbing flesh and moved in time with the other thrusting into him.
"I...I am...Take me...Takeshi...Fill me...with your thick length...," he begged, imagining Yamamoto looking deep into his eyes with so much want as he asked for permission. "Ne-need to feel you...so deep...Take me, Takeshi," he whispered almost desperately, his hands halting in their action for a moment as his body teetered on the edge.
He was so close to release; Yamamoto could feel it growing in the pit of his stomach with every begging word that left Gokudera's lips.
"Oohhh….Hayato…" The taller teen groaned with need as he pumped his thoroughly leaking member, trying to figure out his next words through the haze of pleasure. "I line myself up against your entrance…my head pressing into your tight heat…ah…I-I slowly enter you…stretch you fully around me until I'm fully sheathed inside of you…"
Yamamoto moaned loudly in rapture at the thought of being fully encased within the other. And, just to try and reenact what was happening in his imagination, the young jock tightened his hold around his hardened length.
"S-So hot…" Yamamoto gasped out in pleasure. "I-I wait for you to adjust to me before I slide almost all the way out of you and then thrust back in…"
The young swordsman moaned and grunted with each pump of his hand now as his hips started to thrust up into his moving appendage, pretending it was Gokudera. With the motion of his hips meeting the motion of his pumping hand, and because of the tighter hold he had on his aching erection, the friction was almost unbearably good. Yamamoto knew he wouldn't last too much longer.
"I keep thrusting into you…faster…harder…" Yamamoto panted out erratically between grunts of pleasure, "…hitting your prostate over…and over again...until you can barely remember who you are..."
And then, just as the young jock predicted, he could feel his abdominal muscles twist and coil in anticipation as the image of a thoroughly ravished Gokudera almost brought him over the edge.
"S-Shit…" Yamamoto cursed as he was seconds away from releasing his second load, "…cum with me, Hayato…please…together…"
A long-stretched, shaky moan poured from Gokudera's lips at Yamamoto's description on how he entered him, and as his three fingers acting it out. "Ah...it feels…incredible," he whispered.
Just like the jock described, the feisty Italian moved the hand. The fingers almost left him, only to get shoved in deep again. Each thrust made him moan deeper and louder. Hearing Yamamoto's sexy groans spurred him on. He moved his hands faster. Thrusting deep into himself, he hit his sweet spot, just like the other said.
"More...More Takeshi...harder...," he begged, acting out his wish and Yamamoto's suggestion. Again and again, his fingers plunged into him, hitting his prostate and making him arch and tremble. The double stimulation was almost too much. Gokudera was whimpering as he felt the tight coil in his lower regions. "Takeshi...Takeshi...yeah...yeah...t-together..."
They were both panting hard. So close. Once more, Gokudera's fingers plunged deep into him, imagining it was Yamamoto filling him hard and deep. He hit his prostate, pumped his member, and cried out. The explosive orgasm ripped through him, sending jolts through his spine like a long line of firecrackers going off. His already soiled chest got splashed again even more. He had never, ever had such an intense orgasm.
He kept moving his hands a little slower; riding every hot wave that was granted to him, and panting Yamamoto's name over and over again.
Hearing Gokudera cry out in orgasm sent rippling waves of pleasure down Yamamoto's spine as he rode out his own, his hips thrusting up into his hand as he whispered his lover's name repeatedly like a mantra. The taller teen missed Gokudera so much then. He felt a little empty at the fact that his lover wasn't in his arms right now, and with each breath the other took, with every murmur of Yamamoto's name, the young jock couldn't help but miss the bomber all the more.
Finally coming down from his high, Yamamoto fell back onto his bed again; panting for breath. He could see that his bare chest was now covered in his own seed. The sight caused a little whimper of frustration to well up from Yamamoto's throat as he wished that it was his boyfriend's seed covering his chest now and not his own.
"It's so unfair... " The Rain Guardian whispered despairingly and almost to himself; despite the fact that Gokudera could probably hear him. "Why can't you be here with me?"
With a sigh, Yamamoto regained some of his energy and reached into his nightstand to take out some wet wipes to clean himself off. There was nothing he could do about the situation, so the best he could do was try to ignore the fact and clean up. At least his boyfriend was able to talk to him over the phone, right?
"I won't be able to see you for the next couple of days, Hayato," the tanned athlete spoke up again as he started wiping off his chest; a note of sadness filling his voice. "I probably won't even be able to sneak some personal time with you, since my baseball team is going to be practicing like crazy in order to allow us to enjoy the weekend for once. Plus, my dad's really going to need my help at the shop too, so I won't be able to be with you until Friday after school. W-What did you want to do exactly? Did you just want to head to your place right after school, or did you want to go and do something first?"
Yamamoto had asked the question for mere courtesy's sake, but he hoped that Gokudera would easily answer that he wanted to just spend some alone time with him first. The young jock wasn't sure if he'd be able to last the next couple of days without touching Gokudera when he hardly had the chance to just sit and relax with the other for two whole months! That wasn't saying that he didn't want to go out on a date with the other, he just felt like he wouldn't be able to concentrate and give the date the proper time and respect it deserved, considering how much it would mean to the both of them. After all, they hadn't officially gone on a date yet.
The little bomber missed Yamamoto's presence just as much as the other missed him. He wanted to hold him, kiss him, and just feel him close, but that was not to be. The sad, mumbled question made his heart ache even more for the jock.
"Yes, it is," he answered softly, smiling sadly to himself. "I could ask you the same." They both knew the answers, and it wasn't like they were reproaching each other; they were cursing their fate.
Just like his boyfriend, Gokudera got out the wet wipes and started cleaning himself off. As he reached for his butt, he bit his lower lip, trying not to make a sound. It was a good thing. The wet wipe felt cold against the overheated and slightly sore, oversensitive skin. Also, he soon learned the downside to silicon-based lube. It wasn't easily cleaned off, apparently.
The groan about this particular discovery also was the perfect comment to the news Yamamoto had to offer. "That's gonna be hell," he actually let those words slip. Gokudera was still mellow from the two hot rounds of...yeah...damn...phone sex (!), and from his first time prepping himself and feeling the effects his prostate could have on his body.
At the next question the feisty Italian faltered. The first thought was to scream that he would want Yamamoto so badly by the end of that week, and that he wouldn't wanna wait a second more than would be necessary. But...But how would that make him out to be? Needy and pervy? Why did he have to think of Shamal right now?! They were about to have real sex and never had been on anything they actually could consider a date, had they? How was that for relationship development?
Gokudera was torn. Feeling his gut twist and his heart-rate pick up; he knew what he had to do. Even though he was working hard on it, it still wasn't any easier most of the time. On the other hand, he had seen and felt its positive effects, and that's what gave him the strength to follow through. He would be honest.
"I...I would really like to go somewhere with you; ju-just the two of us," the silver-haired Storm Guardian admitted, only to swallow audibly. "Only...Only like Saturday? I…I can barely stand even the thought of another week like the last." His hand combed through his hair, brushing back some sweaty bangs. "I think I might even get desperate enough to go to your damned baseball training just to watch you...How's that for fuckin' honesty?" A derisive laugh accompanied these words. He was really becoming pathetic, wasn't he?
"It's not really romantic or anything, but...but I think I just want to come here with you on Friday and...and have you all to myself." That's what he really wanted, and it sounded just as desperate and needy and pathetic as he had feared. Fuck. Another thought struck him then. Fuck him twice! What if Yamamoto didn't feel the same way? "Oh...ehm…if...if you'd rather g-go out tha-that would be okay, too, of course!"
Yamamoto sat idly on his bed, speechless with happiness at Gokudera's words. It seemed like the other always knew what to say to make his heart beat faster.
"N-No, it's fine, I agree with you, Hayato," the taller teen spoke soothingly, his tone dripping with absolute affection for his precious bomber. "I mean, it's not like I don't want to go on a date with you; because I really do! It's just that, like we've been saying, it's been so long since we've last had time to be alone with each other, and…and I don't think I can stand it any longer either. If you actually came to my baseball practice, I wouldn't be able to focus at all, because I'd be staring at you the whole time!"
Yamamoto laughed at his last words before he paused then, thinking his next words carefully through before he spoke up again.
"I think that spending time together on Friday after school, with no interruptions from anybody else, would be amazing. We can always go do something together on Saturday, like you suggested. And…I think that even though the…thing…on Friday doesn't seem too romantic in comparison to a date, I think it's actually more romantic and meaningful. I…I mean, we're going to be fully sharing ourselves with each other, right? I say that's as romantic as it gets."
A heavy blush flourished across the dark-haired teen's cheeks as he finished what he had to say. He hoped that he didn't sound too perverted, because he'd hate to make Gokudera think he was only going out with him for the sex. But he would think that the other would know better by now, because they had been going out for quite a while without having too much sex (they had occasional sexual contact though, like kissing, hugging, and groping, but they usually didn't have too much time to let it lead anywhere). Still though, with the idea that they were going to take the next step in their relationship, he didn't want Gokudera to think that he only had eyes on achieving sexual gratification. All he could do now was wait and see how his lover reacted.
The wave of relief that washed through him made the silver-haired Italian surprised with himself. He really wanted to just spend some time with Yamamoto, and to talk to him and have fun, but his physical need for the other one had risen to a level where he couldn't think straight. They would surely have more fun, if they would spend more quality alone time together first. It was really good they both agreed on that without anybody resenting the other.
Staring at the ceiling with a bitter smile, he sighed in frustration, "So, I'm not allowed to, huh? Yeah, fuck...well...it's better for my reputation anyway. And I guess the Tenth would switch on that hyper intuition of his to try and feel out where my problems lie if he caught me watching baseball. We can't have that, huh?"
At the next words, Gokudera got super flustered. He turned red and shook his head, although Yamamoto couldn't see it. He felt bad. "Wah, no! I didn't mean it that way..." He tried to throw in between the other's words.
When he heard what his boyfriend had to say to their misunderstanding though, he got that fluttering in his stomach and a wonderful warmth flooded his body. The often grumpy bomber smiled lovingly. "I didn't mean it that way, stupid. Of course it's the most intimate and romantic thing we can do! I just meant...you know, the lead-up, isn't. Just heading over here will be weird. But...But we both know what we want, so that's okay, I guess." Gokudera couldn't help but think about that Friday. His voice dropped to a husky whisper. "I want to feel you so badly; share myself with you so badly...I don't know what could be more romantic than sharing everything with you," he agreed and wished it was Friday already.
The taller teen's heart fluttered in his chest at his lover's words as a comforting warmth spread throughout his body.
"Yeah, sorry." Yamamoto apologized as Gokudera commented on not being able to watch him at baseball practice. "I mean, I actually don't have a problem with you watching me at practice; in fact, I love it! But right now, you'd just be too distracting for me. Haha, I'd even be tempted to ditch practice if I saw you watching! And yeah, I don't think getting Tsuna curious about us would do us too good. I'm not exactly ready to tell him about us yet…"
He still feared that Tsuna would be very awkward around them if he found out about their relationship, and he didn't want to risk that quite yet, but when he thought over what Gokudera just said to him, and his last uttered sentence, a shudder of delight coursed through the young athlete's body; effectively quelling his fears for the moment.
"Heh, yeah," the young jock chuckled out in an affectionate voice, "I guess the walk to your apartment will be a bit awkward, but as long as we both know what we want, it will be worth it in the end. And you're really making this hard for me, Hayato. If you keep speaking like that, I won't be able to control myself, and run over to your apartment, haha!"
Despite how he actually liked that idea, he heard Gokudera laugh with him on the other end, stating that they had reviews for tests tomorrow at school and couldn't afford to skip out. That still didn't stop the two teens from talking to each other until the early hours of the morning though; the comfort of their companion's voice soothing them to sleep.