DISCLAIMER : Final Fantasy Series belongs to Square-Enix.
RULE IN READING THIS: DROP YOUR LOGIC AT HOME; enter the world without questions coz THERE WOULD BE SOO MUCH (too much) odds here; just prepare!^^ coz I'm just too lazy to fix it ;
"Now, it's your turn."
Tap.
Tap.
Quistis eyes rolled boringly. "What?"
"Your romantic stories, Instructor! What's happened between you two? How could you end up with him?"
"Nothing romantic."
Seifer smirked. "Right."
"…job. Just drop the subject. "
"So tell me about this job of yours. You shouldn't be affected that much if you said so. Not a fairytale, huh? I've told you years ago; it does not exist…"
"We should hurry. Stop the nonsense!"
[Chapter: "Not a fairytale"]
[February 2000]
Squall was sitting in his office usually. His minds were working so hard. Lack of sleeps made him even looked more pathetic. No signs of the sorcerer made in the last investigation made him even more depressed. And this issue too was now arising, made him and Gardens at most disadvantage situation.
Sheet… the metal door opened.
"Squall, it's not working. Now the eyes of the world are currently on you."
"I know. I've made mistake that night.", now he sank his head on his hands.
"Esthar had been advancing his offensive movement. It's just a matter of time they attack us."
"…Timber?"
"Timber and Dollet remained neutral but that means they distrust us and could be problems for us,"
"…We have lost the world trust. I'll go seeing Zell to arrange more investigations. And... we must find her as soon as possible, Quistis! I swear I won't let her slip away again."
"-Squall. I mean, Commander-"
"What? No more detrimental situation I have al-"
"-marry me.", she said firmly.
"What? I'm not in the mood of humor-"
"-you never have."
"Go check Irvine too, Quistis. I want him report directly to me-"
.*Clear throat* "I'm serious. This is a shortcut to regain public trust; Galbadia, Esthar, Dollet, Timber, that you're not involved privately with her. Not now."
Squall just rolled his eyes a bit to the left boringly as a sign of ignoring her. He just wanted her to go and like Squall always been, he didn't think words were necessary. Ignored her and she'd go through the door.
"Think of it rationally. I'm a perfect candidate. Please consider... We grew up together, went to same garden, years of training, everything! And we have lot in commons. I was and am your closest person; your second hand man. Everything! And public surely know it. Compared to Rinoa, it's nothing and-"
"-you are insane, Quistis. Now leave."
"Why? You're still into her?"
"No."
"Then prove it! It's just a matter of job! Why do you take it personally? It's just a matter of political play!"
Squall kept silence for a moment, then his cold eyes pierced Quistis directly.
"Because it is you. I can't."
"Now I beg you, Squall. Garden... garden is- garden has always been my sanctuary. My home. My hope. I don't want it to be destroyed and I'll do whatever it takes to protect it. Please, Squall. Save the Gardens. I know it sounds rather egoist…
And think of it, Squall. A lot of children, a lot of people out there, your SeeDs, the students, they have the same thought as mine. They don't have any place to go but Gardens, Squall! Protect their home, protect our home, our lives, Squall! What's so difficult of that for you? They're currently depend on you! Put their faith in you!"
"No."
Quistis stiffened. "I see.", she said incredibly calm instead. Then she walked toward the door.
-O-
"Is it true? Man?"
"Irvine."
Irvine tossed up a newspaper toward Squall face which had his photograph on its headline. The same story…Squall sighed while opening the papers.
"So, the report?"
"Bad. Ya don't want to hear that. I say go with Quistis…"
"…"
"I've heard it that she had proposed to ya."
"Whatever."
"Aren't y lucky? It's Quistis Trepe! Our own Quisty. She's intelligent… hot…"
"Whatever."
Now Squall had already walked, leaving Irvine.
"Hey, I thought you wanted to hear my report?"
"Save that for yourself."
Sheet…
He walked just to be blocked by the presence of Zell on the other side of the door. Squall gave him a slight gaze and walked further.
"Think of it, Squall."
"…"
"I overheard all."
-O-
[March 2000]
I looked at Zell and Irvine. They both wearing dark suits. It was raining heavily thus black umbrellas were there too. Being the most hysteric person of all, Selphie couldn't hide her emotion, her eyes terribly edematous, reddened, and swelled. She's crying silently. The cemetery was looked rather too luxurious.
But he's a great man, so everyone seemed too accept it. A magnificent ceremony it was. I couldn't even call back what I was saying during my speech hours ago.
Cid Kramer. 58, died of severe heart failure.
People –many important persons- came and went. From all over the world.
The ceremony itself was a military one. He's regarded as the hero, peacekeeper of the world thus his important fellows, rulers of nations of the world were there. All, except Galbadia and Timber which were now at tense situation, especially with Gardens.
Now, he's finally rest peacefully down there, buried here, near our old orphanage in southern peninsula. Side by side with his beloved wife's –our matron- last place to rest. Edea Kramer, as her personal wish too, was buried in here too a month and 3 days ago.
I never understood what this old man thought, the way he thought everything.
He told me directly about this personal wish in that Dollet's Truth Hospital (the most developed medical service yo could get, and the nearest from here).
I realized something. A figure was missing there.
I walked and I found that pretty figure looking at the sea; alone out of crowds. Nothing red this day. She's wearing black clothes with a long black skirt, with a black umbrella too. Her golden hair was down, half bound beautifully, without clipped.
Sunset.
"He's gone."
"…."
"Matron's gone. He's gone.. now what?"
"…"
"Hey! At least talk something! Why do you here in the first place?"
"…."
"What will happen? Do you think it'll be getting worse?"
"The truth is, yes."
"…our marriage is next week. But matron's gone, and now, Cid- you know, he's like a father to me."
Me too.
"We don't know when death approach us. And he's sick. You should have been prepared for that.".
"Can you try to talk something good? A little comfort? Even just pretend?"
"…no."
"I see. That's typical you….*sigh*…"
"…Whatever. "
'….May I ask you something then?"
"…"
"Why did you finally give this ring? Do you even – love me?"
"You've already known the answer."
"Right.", she said bitterly.
"-you could change your mind if you want."
She let out a bitter chuckle.
"I don't but I could learn."
"just like you learn your gunblade skill?"
"If you want to put it that way."
But then she cried silently. Tears flowing. I couldn't believe what I saw. An instrunctur Quistis Trepe, Seed S, shouldn't be this vulnerable.
It's my decision if I wanted to go leaving her alone.
She needed her time.
As I walked leaving the shore, that man approaching.
I gazed a little and went straight.
He stopped me. "So, I am the least to know, aren't I? When would you tell me?", Laguna's green eyes met mine.
Then I spoke,
"Thank you for coming… the speech at Cid's memorial."
"God, you're not expecting me to come?"
"…expectedly , yes, since you're President of Esthar. I-", my voice stuck, "-ehm, really appreciate it." My eyes wandered to look for her figure.
"You really are respecting him I see. If you're looking for Ellone, she's sick. But you just come whenever you want, Son.", brief pause, "… Did you tell him about the marriage?"
"If you mean mine, yes, of course. Now if you excuse me."
"I think we should talk. A lot. Without any kind of politics if you understand what I mean…", he grinned out of sudden. What? Is he joking or something?
I stared him then said, "Nothing to talk. Excuse me."
"Cid… he's like a father to you , isn't he?"
"Yes. And with all of respects, stop acting like you're my father. And just for you to know, I don't need any kind of comfort right now."
"Squall, do I have to lie lifelessly like that just to make you care about my presence just like the way you respect him?"
"Whatever, Laguna."
I walked away. 17 years could mean nothing to you, Laguna, but not for me.
"Squall.", his voice become serious. "apparently, we still have some serious issue. As the sorcerer destroyed our Laboratory months ago."
"What?", I turned back and said, "then we have same goals.", I couldn't hid my annoyed tone. It sounded so defensive.
"Right, that is what exactly I want to assure you. I'm on your side, Son-"
I stared at him boringly. But what came from his mouth next quite hit me hard.
"-but my citizen apparently not.", Laguna finished his sentence.
"You do your job well, OK. And I 'll do some back ups. You'll reject me. I am still your father."
Now he smiled confidently like a moron.
"Whatever."
*Squall's office*
[November 2000]
Although everybody always think less of him, but I know better. This guy, is mature, have a high spirit, strong willed - but unlike me never been that stiff. He has this skill as fighter which God knows is equal to mine- no, maybe more, since he doesn't need to use weapon-… hell-whatever. He's brave, and could mingle with people nicely. So easily, unlike me. He'd like to take risks for bigger things. Good point as a leader.
Somewhat looked dumb, but he's actually rather calculating things (that's why in our first real battle in SeeD exam when we're still too young he didn't jump the riff unlike me and Selphie I believe). He's a graduated; a SeeD; with more than enough combat training and theories about military strategies.
That's completely covered by his low profile, his sly grin, and carefree attitudes, and yeah- loud mouth. So everybody always thinks he is somewhat childish. I'm just wondering if it's just a camouflage, so who's being naïve here? Me being that transparent,cold, and sharp person?
He never let anyone sees he's down. But man… he's just a human. And he could be really serious sometimes.
This highly skilled person, unfortunately, has his weakest point on a very silly thing : food.
Could he really able to handle this?
Yes.
Yes, no need to doubt.
I didn't ever think I could open up to anybody, especially to this man. But years have passed, and I bet I am the only one who can see his true self. The clever one, the serious one. The mature one. Without camouflage.
And he knows me that much too.
Well, this is my friend. I finally have one person I could trust in my life. Normal.
"Yo, man! What's wrong? Talk to me! You're dazed.."
Sounds creepy to me. But nothing's wrong with being normal. I raised my eyebrow, then I stood, looked at him directly.
"If something ever happens to me, I leave this garden to you, Zell."
"WHAT? wh-what are you talking about?", his usual grin faded. "we're talking about this damn mission and this brilliant idea of building ultimate weapon- and now what?"
"I trust you. No one else could. I don't want to give you burden or what. But promise me."
"…"
"promise me."
"…"
"I 've never asked you anything."
"Damn…right."
"-and Quistis, Selphie would have Irvine, but no one would be there to protect her. She'll need you as her little brother."
"-you're not going to do something crazy right? man, seriously, you're like somewhat-going to die!"
"…whatever. Just forget it then."
"…..I understand, Squall. You know…uh… you don't have to hold these burdens all yourself, talk to me , man!"
"I think it's night already. We have much important things to do tomorrow."
I stood and left my office.
"Where are you going?"
[same day, commander's private room]
[I dream I was missing
You were so scared but no one would listen
Coz no one else care
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
I'm strong on the surface
not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that' I 've done
Help me leave some
Reason to be missed
Keep me in your memory
Pretending someone can save me from myself
I can't be who you are]_ Leave Out All the Rest, LP.
03.00 am. I woke with unknown nightmare. I couldn't remember but my heart still beat rapidly. I gazed around, this room was never been like home to me.
She moved her body. Yes, the well trained soldier like her must been aware. She must had been awake by now but she didn't speak and that was her choice.
I put on my SeeDs uniform, put on my commander insignia.
"Where are you going?"
I didn't answer. I know she still kept staring at me. She knew well that I, if not spending my whole night at my office, was used to started early, as early as 03.00 a,m in the morning.
I grabbed my lionhart. And went to my office.
...Felt more like home tome me; and I could work so I could erase my unwanted thoughts.
Just for 10 minutes, and I was back to the room. To our room. I entered it quietly. This day was an exception.
I looked at her sleeping figure. So tired Yet so beautiful. I looked at the window, the full moon shone brightly. I looked at her again. Tears were there at the strong figure.
I would like to erase all your burdens; I wished I had never involved you with this.
I took off my SeeDs uniform, unbutton my commander insignia and took my old clothes. My fur jacket. My lionhart.
I looked at her again. I halted when about to kissed her forehead. I just couldn't do it.
Sorry that never been fair to you.
I hope you'll find someone who can protect you.
You're just too precious, Quistis.
I know that you want me standing here protecting the Garden. Solving the problems.
God, I should have protected you Quistis.
I wish I could.
I'm going to Esthar. Kill her by myself.
With a determined thought I walked out of my room. My garden.
O-O
The night was calm and dark but my heart beat fast. The plain was muddy, and the scent of damp soil was in the air. I inhaled the moist air deeply and tried to ran faster. After this, I'm going to reach Balamb. Train station. Leave unnoticed without SeeD facilities.
"Hhh!", I nearly choked.
I was then grabbed by the collar, punched in face, hit hard, and fell to the ground. The fast technique….must be-
"-you're not going anywhere.", He said in a very cold and serious expression he almost never shown. "what are you? fleeing like some little boy? GROW up!you're just run and run!"
"You're not going to stop me, even if it's you. I'm going to kill her now and you better back off!"
"Kill her? Heh, like I don't know you, man…",unfamiliar mocking tone from him.
I felt the urge to raise my gunblade and yeah I did that.
Clank!
Clank!
"Nice moves… but don't you feel so arrogant, Squall."
He managed to evade it. damn.
"You forgot something,man…."
He beat and beat and hit me hard. Continuously. Repetitively.
"renzokuken!"
Whew. False move, Squall. Now I got Zell's famous meteor kick on me. And he didn't intend to show mercies here. he did everything purposely.
"Man… what are you without junctions? See, Squall? It's not that you are the coolest person in the world. You just had those opportunities… have them even now…"
Clank!
He threw my gunblade away.
Damn! I ran toward it but he had already picked it.
He just keep beating me. Up. Left. Right. Down.
"You've never been stronger than me. What will you do without this? Me always been good with bare hands. You've never been the stronger, you just got those super fine junctions, the most stronger spells, the strongest GFs, strongest weapon, everything…You just accidentally chosen by Cid, Quistis, and everyone. "
I cough a bloody one.
He stopped.
Next thing I knew, my head was now in the water. Cold salty water of Balamb Ocean. My eyes hurts and felt burnt and I couldn't breath. Is he trying to drown me? Kill me?
"Cool your head, man!"
Blub…blub… blub….
-can't breath-
Crshh… "Hhh…ARGH- ughh…!", I inhaled as max as I could when he pulled me out.
Blub…blub… and he put me down again. Damn it, I've never realized his hands were this strong. I tried to loosen his grip but it's completely useless.
"Think, man! Think! Go back to your self! This is not you, man!"
Up. "H…Hhh…"
Blub….blub…
Zell, you're going to die…
"Have your memories refreshed? Feel this water, man! We grew up together in that orphanage….. you just throw us because of that girl?"
You-re going to ddie…
I finally could breath freely and I looked at him in pure anger. His expression became softened and looked at me sympathetically (which God knows I despise it despite his sincerity).
"that is why… don't hold burdens all of yourself, you IDIOT!"
Enough!
I managed to grab my lionhart back and aimed for his neck.
I finally made him fall.
"Ok. I don't care anymore! You don't get it, do you? Fine! Do as your wish!", he said and then I felt the presence of Shiva. I almost forgot that I just separated with it hours ago. (I've never been separated with it before. That explains why I could easily take that again without detrimental effects)
"SQUALL, you're just pathetic. Don't you know, Man? Like I don't know how the way you think…"
Enough.
"You could act as if you're tough! But man! Your true reason is finding her and protects that girl! Like I don't know you. You -the one who sneaked that night to escort that girl across FH railroad! It even way more ridiculous than Seifer and his romantic dreams! You're just end up kneeling in front of-"
ENOUGH.
Without I fully realized, I already raised up my hands and released Shiva to the real world.
The grand summoning. Everything then frozen.
Good for you to be silent like that.
I finally could win.
You must thank me that I have no intention to kill you. Look who's stronger here…
"Now, try, if you could stop me, Zell." I felt an unfamiliar victorious arrogance joy rising..
And I fled, leaving him badly injured.
Finally.
[-the day after-]
"Your rank slip 10.", I said. "and you're going to Centra-"
"I was about going to search for Irvine anyway.", he said, still looked angry and obeyed me half-hearted. And he kept quiet unless I forced him to talk. Unlike his usual self, this Zell was lack of energy and his face was nothing but bored and disgusted.
"You're not going to search him. You're just replacing him in that mission, Dincth."
"You're just letting him lost?killed?You're abandoning Irvine?!"
"…."
"It's enough! Do you think you've won? Man! I remind you, you just won last night BECAUSE of the GF I handed to you! did that tricky grand summoning with the GF I sincerely brought to your damn dirty hands! And like I CARE YOU'RE SITTING in your office right now! *dry laugh* …you're better off anyway. "
I stared at him.
"WHAT? What's about that damn stare? You're not freaking me out. And I'm telling you, man! I'm not going to go to Centra! Not leaving-"
"-better think twice before you talk, Zell.", my voice was a flat cold, "didn't you think I'm incapable? Do you really hate the way I do things that bad, don't you? Little Zelly wants to do something about this world? This Garden? What? Talk to Cid? He's dead-"
"SHUT UP!"
"But it's true and you know that. Better behave well or I throw you out of this game.", I threatened him. "Your life. Your mother's. Money… how could you feed her without job? Oh, and of course your own needs to bee needed. Doesn't Zell Dincht need to be some kind of hero to-"
"Squall,man! you're just!"
He looked extremely mad. Red face and clenched fist. I, still calm, then speak my words, "what are you, Zell Dincht? What are you without this Garden? No, none will hire you. and what exactly the use of-"
"Goddamnit, Squall! I'm outta this place. I have sickened about this anyway! I have already killed you if you're not the guy I knew these years!"
He turned his back briefly and looked at my eyes, "-and I'm going to find Irvine. You're not going to have everything you want, Squall. I am not your lapdog."
BRAK! There it went… the door was closed hard.
If I don't send you abroad, we'll just have another fight and I'll just end up killing you. this is better.
I reached my cigarette and looked out of the windows.
And in one of these days… I really must bid farewell to this garden.
O.O