A/N: I feel blessed to receive so many reviews, alerts and feedback on this story. It's wonderful to be able to share our love for these characters. Thank you. Update next week might be a little later due to me having to work overtime and my beta is indisposed. I'm wishing her all the best of luck at the mid-west horse fair! After that I'll be back on schedule.

Enjoy!

Chapter 8

Making his way to Mathylda's chamber, Merlin thought of his mentor. It wasn't that he couldn't take care of himself, it was just that Gaius was the only one present who knew of his magic. He could do with some advice. If only Kilghara was still here. But the dragon was gone, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, and he wasn't sure he would ever see him again. His chores had taken him all day to finish. Arthur had ordered him not to be present when he returned. So after making sure the bath he'd prepared was still hot enough around the time he'd anticipated Arthur to be back, Merlin left to handle Mathylda's call.

He hoped that whatever tasks she had in store for him wouldn't take too long. He longed for the security of his room to take the amulet from his neck. His feet felt like lead. The thing seemed to have grown heavier as evening progressed. He'd debated replacing the crystal with a fake one, but even if he knew where to find an exact replica of this stone, there were still the amulets of the other servants to consider. What if he ran into the kitchen, for instance, to get Arthur's diner, felt safe -because he was wearing a fake crystal- and forgot to quell his powers? Elliot's amulet might start to glow, panicking the staff. Fear of discovery was also why magic wasn't his first choice to do his chores. He couldn't take the risk. His stomach rumbled, reminding him to get something to eat soon.

Mathylda's rooms were situated near the servant's quarters. Which made sense, seeing as she had to oversee them all. As he neared, he found two guards standing near the doors. He wasn't surprised to find them here. These were Uther's men, the ones he liked to use when rounding up those suspected of magic. They thrived on strict hierarchy and held no love for Merlin, or for any other servant in Camelot.

They eyed him warily when he walked passed.

He knocked, then entered at her call, stopping just inside the door. Shadows blanketed her room, the only light dispersed by two flickering candles, one on her desk, and one on her bedside table. Mathylda turned to face him. To his dismay, he noticed she was dressed for bed. He swallowed away a bile of fear as numerous unpleasant scenarios fluttered thought his mind. With his magic incapacitated, albeit of his own doing, he felt vulnerable. Just in time he remembered to lower his gaze to the floor.

"Merlin."

Her small cool smile sent shivers up his spine.

"Come here."

His power rose, and he let it, just enough to keep the crystal around his neck from glowing. It did detect something though, for nausea started to rise with vehemence. But he took it in stride.

She stood firm. "You're from Ealdor?"

He met her gaze. What did that have to do with anything? "Yes."

"So you never had any proper training when you arrived here two years ago?"

Ah, so that was it. "No."

"And yet you landed the job as manservant to the prince. I hear because you saved his life?"

"The king appointed me, yes."

"And you think this sets you aside from other servants? That this gives you permission to treat the prince with disrespect?"

"No," he said, adamant.

Her eyes narrowed. "From what I've seen so far you lack discipline, lack skill to be a true servant. Bowing in deference is not second nature to you." She sat down on the bed. "You have to agree to that."

He hesitated, not wanting to give her anything resembling a truth.

"Answer me."

If he acknowledged this much, it might keep her off his back, keep her happy. "Maybe."

"Good. We're going to change that." Her lips curled into a cruel smile. "You want to keep your head up? You're going to keep it up all night."

He stared at her. "What?"

"You heard me, Merlin. If Arthur does not let me discipline you, I will have to condition you." She lifted her feet onto the bed and covered herself with a blanket. "You will stay awake. Every hour the guards will come in to check on you. If they find you've lowered your head, if they find you asleep, they are under orders to wake me."

He'd wanted to believe Arthur when he'd said Mathylda was only doing her job. But this. He'd once seen Camelot's dog handler use this technique to train one of his more stubborn hunting hounds. The man had deprived the dog of sleep and food until she gave him what he wanted. It was inhumane, and Merlin had gone out of his way to sneak the poor beast some food at night. His voice grew hoarse. "How's that going to improve my performance?"

Her eyes drifted toward her desk where Merlin saw the two halves of her spindle lying scattered between her belongings. "It is to teach you your place Merlin." She glowered at him. "Perhaps after having kept your head up all night, you'll learn to lower it when this is expected of you. Believe me, after tonight, you'll want nothing else." She caught the stubbornness he sent her way. "If you will not learn, another night will follow. If you prove too headstrong to be taught, I will replace you and move on to other servants in this household. Elliot for instance."

He feigned nonchalance. "Elliot?"

"You watched out for him during the assembly today. I have studied your behaviour. You care. Do you want me to focus my attention on the boy? Or how about on one of the girls. I believe Guinevere was her name?"

He nearly grinned. "If you want Arthur to lose his temper completely…"

"What was that?"

His face fell. "Nothing." Every inch of him defied her, but he couldn't let her replace him, which potentially could cost Arthur his life. He also felt guilty enough without adding Elliot to the list. So it was with reluctance that he finally admitted this small defeat. "What Ar- prince Arthur did was my fault. There's no need to bring others into this."

"Then you'll do as I tell you to do?"

He glared at her.

"Good."

Merlin fought to keep standing. It wasn't just sleep haunting him. He'd gone plenty of nights without, but quelling his powers like this? For the whole night? As he grew tired, he found it harder and harder to keep his powers dozed. He'd never thought about how much his body depended on his magic to keep him going.

Alone with his thoughts, isolation fed into him, and he found himself more lost than ever. All he'd wanted was a land where magic was accepted. Where he wasn't an outcast, wasn't seen as the evil Uther had made his kind set out to be. Over the last months he'd come to realize that this wasn't all that drove him, though. More than anything he wanted Arthur to accept him for who he really was. Marked by the guards checking up on him, the hours slipped passed at a snail's pace. Now and again, his tight hold over his magic slipped, making him feel sick and miserable.

He stared in the distance, fighting to keep his eyes open until the first traces of sunlight graced the stained windows, dousing the room in a myriad of colours he was too tired to appreciate. Not wanting to give Mathylda the satisfaction of seeing him fail, he kept his head up, waiting for her to stir. When she finally woke up, he stood exactly where she had left him.

She didn't even take the time to look at him. "I'd say it's time to do your chores for Arthur," she spoke from her bed. "Slack your duties again, and you will report to me again tonight." She waved him away. "You're dismissed."

He nodded and left the room, nearly bumping into the maid servant in the hallway sent to tend to Mathylda's needs. Jerking her breakfast plate out of the way, she shot him a confused glare. Probably because he'd appeared out of Mathylda's chambers. Not having the energy to explain himself, or make up a story, he moved quickly passed her toward the kitchens to get Arthur's breakfast. He swayed for a second, had to stop to lean forward against a pillar. Careful not to let his magic re-energize him, he took a couple of deep breaths. It was hard. He felt so drained. But he stubbornly held fast, until he was clear-headed enough to proceed with his duties. This was going to be a long day.

TBC

A/N: It's off topic, and I don't want to give away spoilers, but I saw 'Parked' last night. And can I say… damn… I know I shouldn't swear, but… damn…