Guys, I am so sorry! Don't think I abandoned anything, I just don't have internet right now. But at least it gives me time to write, and completely recontruct my other works of art. I feel like any minute someone's gonna look over my shoulder and exam what I wrote in this library. Well, here's chapter 3! And thank you my pretties for the lovely reviews, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to respond, but I will try my hardest!

P.S. Happy first day of school! :)

"Sam, Sammy boy, wake up" I yawned, dragging my hand down my face, a little irritated that Dean had just woken me up from probably the most peaceful sleep that I've had in a while.

"Yeah?" As I sat myself up in bed I realized the panic that had set itself over his face. Sweat profusely dripped from his forehead as he raced around, throwing any and everything into the duffelbags "Dean, what's going on?" His eyes searched around, panning back and forth across the room as I began to get up. The room was catatonic, everything was thrown haphazardly around the room, food was on the floor and Dean just looked like a wreck. I'm half surprised managed to shut the door, but I'm more afraid of what the hell made him act this way. This was Dean, the Dean I grew up with and this Dean in front of me, was anything but the Dean I knew.

"We need to go, leave now" He began throwing things near the bag, racing back and forth across the room, as I sat puzzled. He didn't even glance over as he tried to race around.

"Dean! What the hell is going on?" I raised myself up, even though the muscles in my leg were screaming from anytype of movement and limped over to his bed. He threw a heap of clothes from the floor to the bed which landed in my lap. I watched him race back a forth, forcing myself to stand "Dean!" As he raced back, I yanked his hand and he jerked away from me. Widespread fear plastered his face as he pulled me tight against his body.

"Dear God Sam, I'm so sorry" His hands gripped tightly at my shirt, and I knew that whatever happened while he was out must be like the end of the world. This wasn't Dean, the Dean I knew would put on the bravest face and act act like everyone's hero, even if he was scared shitless.

"Dean" He just kept mumbling, and mumbling, "Dean? What did you do?" He froze, he stopped squeezing me, stopped mumbling, like, like as if he was...lifeless.

"Dean?" His body felt like deadweight in my arms "Dean" My legs began to tremble, from holding up Dean's weight and mines before I felt my legs folding to the floor.

"Dean, wake up!" The back of my hand repeatedly slapped his face, half out of fear and the rest of out panic "Dean! Wake UP! Get the fuck up!" He just lied there, not moving, not saying anything; I could hear a car engine swerve into the parking lot and the engine being cut. My whole body stilled as the fear rushed through every nerve in my body.

"Dean! Dean! Please, wake up! Wake up!" He didn't even tell me what the fuck was going on, and he just left me here defenseless, like, like my dad "Dean" It came out watery, pleadingly, the footsteps grew louder, and heavier and closer. Flashbacks of one of the most horrible events played out in my head, and it frightened me; to the point where I wasn't sure if I wanted to live or not to let them get me again.

"Dean! Dean wake up please!" Panic began to set through my bones as the footsteps stopped, he just left me, here, fuck Dean! Just like my fucking Dad "Dean, if you cared at all, you'd wake up, you'd protect me. Dean!" I could hear the footsteps right at the door and I froze. Raw panic rippled through me as I realized I'm truly and utterly fucked. My hands shook as I leaned down to Dean's ear.

"Dean please" I whispered, on the verge of tears, the door knob was being tried, and I could do nothing but sit and tremble with a lifeless Dean "I gon't want to go back, I don't want to. Please, Dean wake up! Don't let them take me again!" My face was drenched in tears, I could barely breath and my heart was pounding in my ears so much, I could barely hear myself. As I heard the click of the door, I realized my biggest fears were only outside and the only thing standing between us is a wooden door.I gripped Dean's shirt and slid us up between the beds, out of plain eyesight; and I gripped Dean's shirt and I did the only thing I could do at the moment. Cry. Fucking cry because at the end of the day, no one can save me, from them. It's not like my fucking father tried anyway.

"Dean" Everything went silent outside, my grip just held him even tighter. As I heard the thump my hands went to my ears; they kicked the door open. I could taste the salt from the tears and I slipped under the bed. Please, leave, please!

"Samuel" That voice poured more tears from my eyes than anything else, they left me. Here alone, to fend for myself. I could hear the heavy footsteps walk around the bed, and silently I began praying to God "Samuel" Please! Somebody, anybody. Hastily, I started reciting prayers in my head, wishing that I was anywhere but here, anywhere but this motel room.

The footsteps stopped, as the small shadow grew. I could see his hand! His long, sharp nails came under the sheet, as I scooted from it. Closing my eyes in pathetic attempts that he'd go away, and before I knew it, his hand was wrapped around my arm.

"NO! DEAN PLEASE! DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME BACK TO HELL DEAN!" I cried, as I flailed and I tried to shake myself from his grip "DEAN! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU, DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME! DEAN!" I flailed and screamed as another hand grabbed my other arm.

"Sam!"

"DEAN! PLEASE! PLEASE WAKE UP!"

"Sam"

"I DON'T WANT TO! God, Dean please" My sob filled voice "I don't want to go back to hell"

"Sammy, wake up, Sam!" I opened my eyes to bright greens, filled with as much panic as they were before "God, Sam it was a nightmare" He pulled me into his chest as I gripped his shirt tightly

"Don't let them take me" I cried to him, he just held me close to him

"Nobody's taking you anywhere" He said, "I promise"

"Bobby, we're coming 're letting this case go" I wiggled in bed, coming to, and realizing who Dean was on the phone with "He had one of the most terrifying nightmares I've ever seen. You have to explain this, because I don't think it's the first time he's had one of these" He's absolutely right, I'd always have them.

"Yeah you do. Bobby, I don't think you fully understand what the fuck just happened!" His voice was so harsh, I've never heard him talk to Bobby like that.

"Dean" He froze, I could hear him hang the phone up, and walk over to the bed.

"How ya feeling?" I looked at him and sighed "Sam, you don't understand" With that one sigh he could tell everything that I was thinking, and almost everything that I was about to say

"You don't understand, Dean you can't just call off some case because I had a nightmare! Everybody has them!" Everybody has nightmares, he's even had a few of them himself

"Not everybody screams they don't wanna go back to hell" Okay, that was a cheapshot. Whatever I said it was out of fear, it was a nightmare, okay? Everybody has them and everybody says things they didn't necessarily mean. Or necessarily, don't want other people to know.

"So what? Your pissed that..?" I asked, I could tell I was crossing the line, but so was he. Not like he cares that he's stepping on any toes anyway.

"I'm pissed that you feel the need to hide things from me! Come on, I used to kill the monsters in your closet but you won't tell me what that was about?" He was definately crossing the line. Okay yes, when he was younger he used to kill every single monster that hid in my closet, but his closet is just as full of skeletons as mine.

"You didn't even let me explain!" I yelled to him, as I shrugged the blanket off and set myself up. This is him, doesn't even give me the time of day to actually explain anything, even though I didn't want to in the first place.

"Okay then, talk" Kill first, ask questions later is his motto.

"I don't want to!" I told him, which only frustrated him more, sitting arguing with him after having that nightmare doesn't make me feel any better.

"Why?"

"It's not something you go around parading!" I shouted at him

"I'm not asking you to! I'm asking you to tell ME!" He stood, and walked over to his bed; and began packing things. He began rushing around, throwing his things in his duffel bag.

"Where are you going?" I asked, on the inside, I was terrified. That he'd willingly leave me here, alone, and that was the last thing I wanted. Not again.

"We're going to Bobby's. If you won't tell me, I'm damn sure he will" To say he was pissed was an understatement, he was furious, and I wasn't telling him; no matter how afraid I was.

"Can you move?" I whipped the covers back, and lifted myself from the bed.

"Perfectly" I spat

I stared aimlessly, watching the baby blue sky retreat as the car glided along the horizon. I hadn't said much less than a word to Dean, and vice versa, like, I don't mind sharing things with Dean. For fuck's sake, I shared a motel room with him countless months of my lifetime. It's when he just demands that I willingly tell him everything like my life's an open book, thast infuriates me. I glanced over to be met with that hard gaze, blaring from emerald eyes as I whisked my eyes away. A heavy sigh fell from his lips as he looked at me, road, and back to me.

"I don't understand" No stuttering, hesitation or even slight faulter of those words as they rained from his lips. As if this was a routine thing.

"Bobby?" I asked. I've never said anything more colder, than I said that five lettered word.

"10 miles" He gritted, knuckles paling ghost white from his vice grip. I could feel his icy gaze burn a hole through my shoulder, as if he was daring himself not to look me in the face.

"Why?" I stayed silent. If Dean was the Dean I've always had, it would be because he couldn't understand something that was so...freakish. Weird. Strange.

"Sam!" He spoke so harshly, as I whipped my head around to glare at him. Every ounce of anger and frustration I held against Dean, was reflected right back at me. As if I was looking straight in a mirror with a distorted image, but still with the same eyes. As Bobby's came into my eyesight, I sighed mentally; Bobby was in more ways than one, a lifesaver. Dean hastily slammed the car into park, I was very familiar with him in this stage: Rage and Destroy. He swiftly killed the engine, slamming his hands on the steering wheel.

"DAMNIT SAM!" He yelled, I got out, slamming the hell out of the door and storming right into Bobby, ignoring the look Rufus gave me for forgetting his greeting.

"HEY!" I stopped, and turned around to face the angry Dean ahead of me. It pissed him off even more that I stormed off "Samuel Winchester, don't you dare turn your back on ME!" By then, I could hear Bobby noisily making his presence known "What in the hell is goin' on in here?"

"I can do whatever the hell I want to, because I'm a grown ass man!" I shouted, advancing closer to Dean as he stared me down "And who the hell do you think you are? My Dad? Lemme tell you something, he died a long time ago making stupid ass mistakes just like yours" As soon as the words left my mouth, I could see Dean's fist coming for me, and I could only reciprocate his dear actions. Dull thuds and whacks resonated off the walls, soon to be joined by shuffling and yelling.

"HEY!" I could feel my body being yanked as I spit out a mouthful of blood on the hardwood floors. My adrenaline was pumping, wildly; Dean's chest rose and fell heavily as he stared at me, few drops of blood dripping down the side of his face.

"DON'T YOU THINK YOU EVER HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT ABOUT MY FATHER!"

"I WOULDN'T SAY IT IF IT WASN'T TRUE!" Dean charged for me again as Bobby, who's tight grip was was forcing my arms back as he hooked them underneath my arms.

"BOYS!" Dean gave a snarky smile as he sighed

"Oh, what is it Sam?" He stepped closer to me as Bobby stepped back, no matter how much I struggled against his grip "What is it? Mad that you'd get replaced by Standford friends huh?" He was breathing heavy, still, as he took his sleeve and wiped away blood that dribbled on his lips.

"Fuck your Standford friends!" I spewed, as he shook his head, nodding, breathing out a shaky laugh

"You don't like the fact that I tried a normal life huh?" I bucked wildly trying to get out of Bobby's arms as he only tightened them

"Fuck you and your normal life Dean. In fact, why don't you head on back, I'm sure Lucy won't mind" I grimaced at him as he stood confused for a moment.

"Lucy?" He stared at me "What in the hell does Lucifer have to do with any of this?" I laughed.

"And you said he'd get it" I told Bobby

"GET WHAT?"

"GET THE FUCKING FACT THAT...the one time I really needed you, more than anytime in my life" I felt Bobby's arms loosen, and his grip slack "you weren't there. Dean, the monster that you shot everynight in my closet, finally came back and got it's revenge" Bobby's hand firmly squeezed my shoulder, making me look back at him.

"Sam, I think it's time you tell him" I stared long and hard at Bobby, before dropping myself in the chair.

"Let me get something for...yeah"

I sat, holding an icepack to my swollen lip, as Dean held one up to his eyebrow. Bobby sat on the arm of the chair, as I sighed, leaning back, forcing my headache to fade away, for just a few minutes. I unbuttoned my shirt with one hand, the other holding the icepack to my other.

"You ever wonder what happened those few months you left to get a normal life?" I asked, as I began shrugging off my shirt, I switched hands, glancing up at Dean's confused gaze on me. I winced, as Bobby came and tugged the bottom of the sleeve. I nodded my thanks.

"Yeah," Mentally, I had to prepare myself for this. I spent months, in this dark box of depression; and the only person there for me was

"Bobby" He grunted, as I lifted the bottom of my shirt, and began pulling it off. I froze when I heard him gasp, I didn't know what to think.

"Sam, come on" Bobby was next to me, helping my lift the shirt without aggravating my injured arm. I looked down at my own injured body and I tried not to let the worst of my memories get the better of me.

"What...happened to you?" He slowly rose from the couch, his eyes intent on all the scars that littered my torso. The pain was the worst, days, weeks, even months after the actual torture stopped, the pain was still there, it was always there.

"I guess it's story time" Dean sat at the opposite end of the couch as I began "Dean, I was all for you being normal. Really, I swear. Let's just say, I got into some deep shit alright; and had to have a little sit down with Lucy" Bobby told me that everytime I would mention him, my whole body would go pale, and I'd stiffen.

"I have a brand on my back, wasn't even the worst of it. Everything those little bastards could find, they used it on me, fucking horrible" I stopped, Dean was just staring at me, his face was blank, stark white, but blank.

"Bobby always told me that I should tell you this, but it was something that I'd rather keep in the dark. Dean" I took a deep breath, trying to stop it from hitching in my breath "Hell isn't a place you wanna go. 'Specially if you're me, but they had a special job for me: carry the little bastard spawn of Satan"

"Sam...no"

"I never did get pregnant, but God he tried. Countless times" I rubbed my hand with my face, it was this part, always this part that made me feel so mentally unstable "By" I sniffled, rubbing both my eyes as if the extra moisture there weren't tears "By the time I came back, I was" I looked to Bobby, as he silently told me to continue "I was 73 pounds" Dean shot up and gathered me in his arms

"Dean, I don't ever want to go through that again! I don't ever want to go back to hell and I" I clutched his shirt as they stared flowing freely "I...for a long time, blamed you Dean, and God, I'm so sorry"

"Shh, Sammy, I'm so sorry, I was an idiot to leave" He murmured, "A fucking idiot"

"Whenever he...came..." I began, Dean was sitting in the chair in the corner of the extra bedroom, trying to pay attention to the black and white film on the screen

"Sam..." I paused, glancing up, watching as people ran in fear out of the movie theater, as a big, black blob emerged from the doors. I would be the people, and...Lucy... would be the blob. Except the blob isn't trying to impregnate people.

"I could feel it, it was like fire, just burning, scolding my insides-"

"SAM" I glanced at the floor, suddenly finding a weird interest in my bitten nails

"I remember once, he got mad...oh he was so pissed because I wouldn't get it up-"

"STOP! STOP!" I couldn't help myself from flinching away slightly, as his body jumped in fury. My eyes watched him, as if he was like my prey whle he paced, ack and forth at the bottom of the bed.

"I still have the claw marks on me" I stared down at the floor, Lucy didn't like it when I looked directly at him "Sometimes" I hesitated "When I have nightmares, I can feel him" I sniffled, watching Dean's heavy boots walk across the floor and back. Thump. Thump. Thump. Swish. Thump. Thump. Thum- I was in a way, scared to look up. Afraid to see what he was doing. Silence slammed through my ears, and somewhere in my mind, I thought it was a sign to continue.

"Feel him scratching me, poking me, taunting me. And then, other times, I'm not so lucky" The bed dipped a few feet away from me. Nervously, I was ringing my hands, silently counting on my fingers.

"Why didn't you come get me Sammy? I would've left, I would've-GOD! I would've came home!" I just nodded, finding a spot in the carpet to cure my peak in interests. That the thing though. He would tease me. Tell me that everything I vie for, for attention and affection was doing the same as him. Not ever giving a fuck. Not caring. Not worthy. I guess you could say, those months with him, and old habits die hard. Really hard.