CHAPTER 26

A/N: Thank you for your reviews, you lovely people!

iluvmyterrier: Yes, Bellatrix will show up later.

Fk306 animelover: Thanks for pointing out the error; it has been fixed ;-)

Chibi Tsuki Hikari: °gives you lots of paper hankies to stem future nosebleeds, and cookies for the enthusiastic reviews°

akuma-river: Very good observations and questions; some of them will be dealt with in this chapter.

Delu: Harry, though a Gryffindor, is shy, and since he is an adorable greenhorn in many things, he has to sometimes leave the initiative to the snarky and more experienced Potions Master.

koredik: Love your enthusiasm and naughty mind...Ya-hee!

yaoi-fied: °mega blush°…

death's mistress 13: No, there's not going to be any male pregnancy. There is only so much magic can do. It's women who can get pregnant if the circumstances are favourable, and that's it. Sorry :-)

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When Harry woke up, he discovered that Snape had left his room. Disappointed, he rolled over to the spot where Snape had lain, nuzzling his cheek into the pillow. The sheets were cool on his naked body. He got up reluctantly after breathing in the scent of the man who had shared his bed and showered leisurely, smiling dreamily at the memories of the last day of 1998 and the first night of 1999. Snape had already had breakfast; Harry discovered the table laid for only one person when he skipped down the stairs with sparkling eyes.

Dobby was standing next to his chair, looking very upset.

"Dobby? What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"Harry Potter! Master Snape is packing, he says that he has to leave urgently."

Harry stared.

"What? But…Dobby, he said he would stay till the 4th…and we'd go back to Hogwarts together."

"He said he had to change his plans," Dobby wailed.

"Did he say at what time he was going to leave?"

"In another half an hour."

Harry patted the elf's shoulder.

"I'll see what's up, Dobby. If he tries to leave the house when I'm not down here, please notify me immediately."

Dobby nodded and vanished with his trademark crack.

Harry's appetite had gone. He had to force himself to eat. He had just finished brushing his teeth when Dobby rushed inside, eyes wide.

"He's leaving, Master Harry, he's about to go!"

Harry hurtled downstairs and found himself face to face with Snape. The Slytherin was already in his cloak and boots; his trunk was behind him. He went pale and avoided Harry's eyes.

"We can't do this. I can't do this," he said abruptly.

"Severus…Wait…Why not?" Harry touched his arm, looking into the black eyes.

Snape shook off Harry's hand.

"I think we had better discontinue our meetings, including your piano lessons, Potter. I am sure you will find another teacher. Bye."

"Severus, please wait, let us talk-"

"I don't want to talk, Potter."

He strode out of the house, leaving Harry with a stunned and very hurt expression on his face.

The remaining holiday was excruciatingly miserable. Harry thought of contacting Ron and Hermione; but he sensed that this was a matter between him and Snape. He reproached himself for having moved too quickly, for having been too impulsive and rash when he had initiated the kiss with Snape in the attic. He arrived at Hogwarts in a dismal state of mind, sending his trunk ahead via Hogwarts Magical Courier Service before he used the finalised Floo network a few hours later to reach his rooms at Hogwarts. Hedwig flew from Grimmauld Place to Hogwarts. Harry found her perched patiently on top of his trunk when he stepped out of the fireplace, dusting ash from his robes. He looked at the familiar walls, collapsed onto the nearest sofa and began to cry, pounding his fist against a cushion. Hedwig, who knew her master very well, left her spot and sidled up against the young man. He reached out and stroked her feathers.

"Oh, Hedwig, I messed it all up. Now he won't have anything to do with me. And I'm in love with him, damn it, I love him!"

The Music Master, on noticing Harry's red eyes and corner of his nose, suggested that he use the piano for expressing his emotions, which Harry accordingly did. It made him feel better, but only for a short while.

As the week proceeded, Snape didn't even look at Harry, who fell into a deep depression, crying himself to sleep or listening to his cassettes on which he described the development of his relationship with Snape; he had undergone regular recording sessions during which he mused about Snape and their blossoming friendship, their piano lessons and the man's eccentricities. Now, whenever he tried to approach Snape, he would be rebuffed by Snape turning his back on him or treating him like air.

Harry started to eat less – which did not escape Dumbledore's ever-watchful eye.

"Have some more mashed potatoes, Harry," Dumbledore pressed the despondent wizard.

"No, thank you, I am not hungry."

Finally, on Friday evening, Harry managed to corner Snape after supper, grabbing his arm and steering him to an empty classroom.

"Look. I want to talk. I want to know why you left head over heels," Harry said.

Snape studied him icily, and when he opened his mouth, it was to say one of the cruellest things he had ever told Harry before.

"You were not bad in bed, Potter. Your physique is quite acceptable and your naiveté absurdly touching. What happened isn't worth remembering. You still have your innocence. What more do you want? You mean nothing, and never meant anything, to me."

Harry stared.

"You liar," he choked out.

Snape sneered at him.

Harry saw red. He darted forwards and slapped Snape across the face twice. Once with his right hand. Once with his left.

"YOU FUCKING LIAR!"

His shoulders shook as he wept for a moment; then he left the classroom, smashing the door behind him while Snape leant on a desk, clutching at his cheek.

"Harry," he said brokenly. The walls didn't respond.

On Snape's birthday, Saturday, 9th January, Harry woke up at five in the morning with a headache. He did not try going back to sleep; too much had happened. Instead, he showered, dressed and called Hedwig down from her perch. She was already awake and blinked at him with her huge eyes.

Harry placed a large package before her.

"Bring these to Severus, please," he said softly, referring to the contents, "they contain what I have wanted to say to him for ages."

Hedwig hooted, nibbled fondly at his fingers and flew away with the package. She came back soon without her burden and dozed on her perch. Harry waited till seven until going down for breakfast. Snape walked into the hall, caught sight of him and walked out again.

Snape's mood was cataclysmic. He reduced several students, including people from his own House, to tears, smashed inkbottles against his walls and made the Music Master desert his portrait when he showered him with curses on being asked to pronounce the password. The Music Master was discovered sobbing on the Fat Lady's shoulder, his wig completely crooked and his monocle hanging listlessly out of his waistcoat. It was turning out to be the worst birthday Snape could have conceived of. At lunchtime, he shouldered his way past Harry, who struggled to repress his anger and tears. His effort did not escape Dumbledore:

"Harry, please see me in my office after lunch."

In Dumbledore's office, Harry was offered a large variety of sweets, which he politely refused. He had hardly been able to eat anything during lunch; the thought of swallowing anything made his stomach churn with protest.

"Harry, you seem very unhappy. Is something wrong?"

"I…" Harry avoided Dumbledore's clear blue eyes. As if to give him courage, Fawkes left his perch and sat down on Harry's lap, looking up at him serenely. Harry answered Dumbledore's penetrating gaze and question.

"I'm in love with Severus," he said bluntly.

Dumbledore pressed his fingertips together.

"I see," he matter-of-factly. "Phineas informed me that Severus was your guest during Christmas."

The portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black added in shrill tones:

"I would never have thought that two half-bloods would sully the honour of the ancient house of Black! And the impertinent boy had the audacity to put a board over my portrait to hide his shameful activities with that-"

Dumbledore raised his hand.

"Enough, Phineas! I don't need to hear your narrow-minded opinion on what Harry and Severus were doing. Harry, I take it that Severus has been trying to keep you at a distance after his stay?"

Harry nodded, biting at his lip.

"Yes, and he said such hurtful things to me," he admitted, a slight tremor in his voice.

"I don't know how much Severus has told you about his childhood and youth, Harry."

"I only know what I saw in Severus's mind by accident, during my Occlumency lessons. And he knows what he saw in my mind during the same occasion. But we have never spoken about it although I'd feel that we were really close to touching on the subject."

"It is for Severus to tell you about his past, so I won't elaborate. It suffices to say that Severus is very sensitive and a deeply hurt man from enduring trauma after trauma. Harry, I am asking you not to hurt him or play with his feelings."

Harry's eyes flashed.

"I would never play with his feelings!"

"So you are sincere when you say that you love him."

Harry's cheeks became crimson.

"I love him, Albus. It is not an adolescent hormonal infatuation. I don't know how it happened, but I know what I feel for him…And…and I can feel something similar from him, though I don't think he'll admit it in a million years."

"And you are ready to pursue a closer relationship with Severus?"

"I am."

"You have more things in common than you both think," Dumbledore said with a small smile.

"But are you aware that a relationship with Severus is going to be a formidable challenge? Much as I love Severus, I must admit that he has a very complex personality. Apart from the fact that you two have quite a history together, you must take into account how people will react to you."

"What happens between Severus and myself does not concern them. No one can prevent me from loving him against all odds. The Howlers can pour in."

Albus's smile grew bright.

"Ah, true words for a Gryffindor."

"I wonder why Severus is so averse to love, to emotion."

"That is something he will tell you if you are determined enough to face your challenge," Dumbledore replied with a smile.

Harry stroked Fawkes pensively before asking:

"Albus…Is homophobia as widespread as in the Muggle world?"

Dumbledore gazed at him wisely from behind his spectacles.

"It is widespread among people who think that they are superior to everyone else and maintain ridiculous notions of blood purity. In the end, Muggles and the wizarding people are only humans, Harry."

"And if Voldemort had known about Severus being gay…" Harry trailed away.

"…then he would never have trusted him as his right-hand man."

"So he had to keep it locked up all the time," Harry murmured, "he has suffered so much. And it is his birthday today."

Fawkes rubbed his head against Harry's hand.

Dumbledore nodded.

"You can ease his pain, Harry. Go now, my dear boy. It is time you spoke to him."

"Thank you, Albus," Harry said softly.

Fawkes let out a trill as he returned to his speech, and the sound gave Harry a warm secure feeling.

"Harry?"

Harry turned. Dumbledore has risen from behind his table and moved in front of it. He placed his hand Harry's shoulder.

"I am proud of you – proud that you can see the good in people when they can't see it themselves. Your mother was like that. You have inherited more than your eyes from her. Good luck, my boy."

Harry smiled.

He had made up his mind to speak to Snape at night after dinner, even if he had to blast a hole into Snape's door. He was just getting ready to leave his quarters when there was a knock at the door. Surprised, he opened it to reveal Snape. His face was very pale. He walked into the room without waiting for Harry to invite him inside.

"I received your tapes this morning, Potter. I listened to them in the afternoon and evening."

"I hope you were not bored to death by my monologues."

Snape began to pace up and down. Harry watched him anxiously. The black eyes fell upon the giant S of dominoes on the floor.

"We have to forget about what happened," Snape said abruptly, bending and nudging the first domino. The S came alive with a soft rattling sound; it crumbled and created a new pattern at the same time; the other side of the dominoes was striped with silver and green.

"Put this away in a drawer, Potter," Snape said in the same dead voice.

"Severus, this is nothing one can just shove into a drawer and forget. It is far more than just something one can throw away."

Snape stared at him.

"What is it then?"

"Love," Harry said, flushing. "I love you."

"Look at me, Harry James Potter. Is this what you want? Is this what you really want?" His voice was hoarse, nearly broken.

"Look at me and tell me whether you are willing to waste your time on someone like me."

"I love you, Severus. Is that so difficult to understand? Damn it! What do I see, you ask? I'll tell you. I see the man who has become my friend after the most incredible turbulences. I see someone who possesses amazing skills and talents, yet is so insecure that he builds up a wall and locks everyone out. You helped me defeat Voldemort. You sacrificed so much for others and me. I see the man I love, however stupid it sounds to you. How can I waste my time on you when you have taught me to appreciate every minute with you?"

Harry paused, watching feeling stir in the black eyes.

"And my history with your parents and godfather, Harry? Can you forgive me?"

"I can. I have long ago."

"Harry, I am not the right person for you. Someone of your age would be best for you, a young wizard or Muggle with a more approachable personality. Choose someone who is worthy of you."

Every word and breath seemed to cause him unbearable pain.

"I know what is best for me, I am no longer a kid. Look into my eyes, Severus. Look at me and tell me that you don't feel anything for me, that all those times you nearly kissed me and finally kissed and touched me meant nothing, along with the days and evenings we spent together becoming friends…becoming more than friends. Tell me that you have forgotten about the time we spent together at Grimmauld Place. Your gaze and touch said so much."

Snape looked into the determined green eyes, and it was so silent that they could hear the other inhaling and exhaling.

Snape bowed his head.

"And how will your friends react, Harry? What will they say? What if they despise you?"

"If they can't accept the fact that I love you, then it will be their problem. Ron and Hermione know about my feelings towards you. They are fully behind me."

"You would stand by me, Severus Snape, if everyone turned their backs on you?"

"I would."

"You realise that I am old enough to be your father?"

"I do."

"You do?"

"You seem to think I would mind."

"Don't you?"

"Use Legilimens or Veritaserum on me to double-check. Any more excuses and arguments? I will crush them all until you accept the fact that I love you the way you are," Harry declared quietly.

"You accept this as well?" He rolled back his sleeve and stretched out his branded arm. Harry took it and cradled the marked spot against his cheek. Snape's lips parted with surprise.

"I do. It confirms the strength of will you have and so many others don't."

Snape said in a low passionate voice:

"You have me where you want me, Harry James Potter. I love you. I didn't think you could possibly love someone like me. I thought that you were infatuated…you're young, you're discovering yourself…"

"And you made both of us go through all this pain just because you thought I only wanted sex or something?" Harry said, shocked.

"Yes."

"Severus, can't you feel the love between us?"

"I didn't want to feel it. Until now. I recognise you as my equal, Harry.."

Snape pulled Harry into a firm embrace and pressed his mouth against Harry's. Past and present collided together; worlds met and joined; pain was washed away in an oscillating wave as the two wizards stayed locked in a deep kiss.

"I love you," Snape repeated, kissing Harry all over his face. Harry wiped Snape's tears away with his palm.

"Severus?"

"Harry?"

"I'm sorry for slapping you."

"Well…I hurt you."

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Happy birthday."

Snape smiled and brushed his forehead against Harry's.

"It's the best birthday I've ever had, Harry."

They left Harry's rooms with their arms around each other's waists, hardly looking where they were going. A suit of armour fell over with a resounding crash, but neither of them bothered to settle it again as they continued kissing eagerly.

A chuckle startled them.

Dumbledore was smiling at them delightedly.

"Please don't allow yourselves to be interrupted," he said happily as he looked from one flushed face to the other. "May I offer you my most cordial congratulations, my dear boys?"

He embraced both of them and swept away without waiting for an answer, humming in a particularly satisfied manner and snapping his fingers merrily.

Harry laughed and put his arms around Snape's neck.

"What a wizard," Snape grumbled; then he looked down into Harry's smiling face.

"You are the only one besides Albus who can laugh with complete genuineness in my presence."

"I couldn't smile during the past days," Harry confessed softly, "I was hurting so much."

"It suffices to say that Alexander deemed it wise to leave my quarters during the past few days. I believe he is getting on very well with your owl."

Harry started laughing again.

"Something of ours must have rubbed of on them. Or the other way around."

"Kiss me, you recalcitrant brat."

Harry complied with enthusiasm.

Later, Dumbledore prudently visited Madame Pomfrey for a stomach-settling potion after overeating heavily on sherbet lemons.

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A/N 2: This story is NOT yet finished. There is lots more to come! Watch how Snape and Harry fight for their love in the face of people's mostly negative reactions, and how especially Snape learns to calm his anger concerning his past.