Chapter 6:

Whore, goddamned worthless whore—

Mmm, you like that, don't you, you little slut...

Come on, take it. Take it and earn that fucking money.

Sam shut his eyes and stepped directly under the showers spray, willing the pounding of the water to drown out the horrible words in his head. Awful memories.

Sam put his arms out, pressing his hands against the wet tile as he let the hot water cascade down his back. His bruises stung as the sharp needles of water hit them, but after a few moment the pain began to ease as the heat worked into his sore muscles and loosened them.

His back was always a mess these days. The only time it felt alright was in the shower, or whenever he could convince Kurt to give him a massage. He was pretty sure Kurt did actually have magical healing fingers.

He thought back to a few months ago, when Kurt had told him to show those bruises to Blaine. Told him that Blaine wouldn't let people treat him like that, if he knew. Sam grimaced. He'd been dumb enough to actually believe him, then. Believed Kurt when he told him that people weren't allowed to hurt and abuse him. Believed that Blaine would care.

When he'd brought his bruises and stories of abuse to Blaine, all Blaine had done was assure him that it was normal. It was part of the territory, Blaine had said. People were paying for his body, and they expected to be allowed to do with it what they wanted. It was just the way it was, for everyone.

Except, the way Kurt reacted to the bruises and marks on his body told Sam that that wasn't quite true.

He didn't bring it up again to Blaine, no matter how much Kurt insisted. Kurt was sure Blaine would care, he would do something. Sam just told him it was fine, he could handle it.

This was just his life now.

Sam wasn't really sure how long it had been since he'd left his home in Tennessee. Sometimes it felt like years and years, and other times he thought he might have been home just a few days ago. It all got jumbled together.

Let's see, Sam thought, attempting to put together a time line in his head. Me, Jason, Ricky and Joey lived together for like four months... Met Blaine in the second month... moved in with him when the band broke up... two months of being a fucking idiot... three months of being a whore.

It hadn't even been a year. Not even a year since his parents had thrown him out, after they'd found out that the job he'd had at Dairy Queen wasn't really a job at Dairy Queen at all, but a job taking off his clothes for cash at a strip club called Stallions. That was a fag joint, they'd said. It didn't matter how good it had paid, they couldn't have a fag living under their roof. Especially not with little kids around.

Well, that had been fine (no, not really). He'd been looking for a reason to leave anyhow, so he could start really committing to his band. They'd been good, Sam had been so sure they'd been good, and he'd thought they'd really been able to make it. So they'd all packed their bags and moved to New York.

Always such an idiot.

They all had been. They'd barely been there two months before they were at each other's throats every minute of the day. They didn't have enough money, their living space was too small for four guys, they weren't getting any gigs... it was hell. Looking back, Sam was surprised they'd lasted as long as they had.

Moving slowly, begrudgingly, Sam reached forward, turned off the water and got out of the shower. His back immediately started aching again, but he'd been in the shower for 20 minutes now and if he used up all the hot water, Kurt would kill him.

Sam grabbed a towel from off the rack and smiled, thinking about Kurt. Kurt was like the one bright light in the ocean full of total suckthat his life had been for the last not-quite-year. It was crazy to think that a little over three months ago they'd practically hated each other. Now, Sam couldn't even imagine a life where Kurt wasn't his friend. He couldn't imagine getting through a quatre of the things he had to do if Kurt wasn't there to help him, and comfort him... hold him.

Sam sometimes thought that the holding him was the most important part, even more important than the advice and guidance. Sam had always been one for cuddling, ever since he was a teenager. But back then it had just been something nice to do. Cuddling, holding hands...

It wasn't like that anymore. Now it had become something necessary. There was always a part of Sam that just wasn't alright unless Kurt was holding him, or touching him in some way. He didn't know why, he just knew it was the way it was and he didn't plan on changing.

"Hello, beautiful," Blaine said as Sam exited the bathroom with a towel around his waist and his hair still dripping. Blaine leaned in and kissed him, and Sam tried his best not to flinch away. "Mmm," Blaine mumbled, pulling back and smiling at him. "Squeaky clean."

Sam swallowed, and looked off down the hallway out to their living room. "Uh, isn't Kurt—"

"Right out there, I know, I know." Blaine said, taking a step out of Sam's personal space. Sam exhaled a little. "I just can't help myself, I guess. You're all naked and wet," He teased. "And I miss you." Blaine's hands drifted down to his hips, and settled right on one of Sam's dark green bruises.

Pretend, a voice in Sam's mind whispered. It sounded like Kurt. You need to pretend you're someone else. Someone who loves him. "I miss you, too," Sam said quietly. "I... I wish things were different." That was almost true. He did very much wish things were different... just not in the way Blaine thought he meant.

Blaine nodded, a remorseful look on his face. "Me too," He whispered, trailing a finger down Sam's cheek. His touch was so soft, so light and gentle. Comforting, reassuring. The look in his warm hazel eyes was so loving, full of regret for the way things were, longing to be with Sam and only Sam.

"I should go get dressed," Sam said. The whisper of Kurt in his head told him to give Blaine a kiss, but he ignored it. He wasn't quite the actor that Kurt was.

Blaine nodded, and Sam turned and walked off to the bedroom he'd once shared with Blaine. The voice of Kurt was disappointed with him, disappointed that he hadn't put more into the act.

At the same time, Kurt's voice was also very impressed. Not with Sam's pitiful performance, but with Blaine's. It was almost eerie, how good Blaine was. He was almost perfect.

As Sam got dressed, he wondered at how long Blaine had been putting on this act for... and how many other boys had fallen for it.

Sam groaned, shifting around uncomfortably on his knees. "Hurry up," He whined.

Kurt put a hand on Sam's neck and pushed his head back down. "Don't rush me, this isn't as easy as it looks. It's an art."

Sam scoffed. "Are you kidding? I've been doing this myself for years and it only ever started taking forever when you started doing it."

"That's because I do it better than you," Kurt said. Sam had lifted his head up again, and Kurt shoved it down again. "Sam, come on. You're going to make a mess of the washroom."

Sam sighed. "Sorry, sorry," He mumbled. He shuffled forward on his knees, making sure to keep his head directly over the tub.

"Good," Kurt approved. He picked the small black dye bowl up from the floor again, and resumed applying the bleach-and-blond-dye combo to Sam's dark roots. He was trying to go as fast as he could, because he knew leaning over the tub like this had to be hell for Sam's back, but he wasn't willing to compromise quality in the name of speediness. He'd make it up to him after by giving him a massage. "So this is your natural hair colour, huh? The roots I'm covering up."

"I guess,"

"What colour is it, exactly? It's too hard to tell with just the roots."

Sam laughed. "I don't even remember anymore."

"Was it at least blond-ish?" The roots looked either like light brown or dark blond, but there wasn't very much of them and they were still blended with the bleached blond strands of the rest of Sam's hair.

Sam nodded, making the brush in Kurt's hand slip up and smear dye on his scalp. "Sam, if you keep moving I'm going to wind up bleaching your skull," Kurt chastised. He grabbed a towel and wiped off the area of Sam's scalp he'd gotten dye on.

"Sorry," Sam said again. "And I think my hair was kind of like... dark blond. Sandy blond? Something like that."

Kurt nodded. "That sounds nice," He said. "I bet you looked good like that."

After Kurt finished applying the dye, they wrapped Sam's head in a towel and Sam set his watch to go off in 20 minutes, when he would need to wash it out.

"You'll need to rinse on your own," Kurt said, straightening up. "I've got a customer coming in 30, and I need to get ready."

Sam nodded, leaning back against the side of the tub. "What customer?"

Kurt shrugged. "Dunno, forgot to ask," He said stretching his arms and back.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Right. Yeah, well it's not like it's an important thing to remember," Sam mumbled. "''Scuse me Blaine, but could you perhaps tell me the name of the man who'll be fucking me today?'"

Kurt glared at him. "What crawled up your butt?" He asked. Sam glared back at him, and Kurt clapped a hand over his mouth. "Those were a poor choice of words..."

Kurt hadn't had time to wash his hair, but he took a very fast shower and changed his clothes before his customer arrived, and he just hoped he didn't smell like bleach. When he heard the knock on the door, he gave himself one last sniff before walking over and opening it.

"Hello there," Kurt said automatically. His eyes bugged a bit when he saw the customer. "Jeremy!" He cried, backing up to let him in.

"Hey, Kurt." Jeremy said, giving him a big smile. Kurt closed the door behind him, and smiled back at Jeremy. "You look good."

"Yeah, yeah you too." Kurt said. Jeremy had the same light stubble that he'd had almost a full year ago, and now that he wasn't so nervous Kurt was able to appreciate his attractive features. Jeremy had beautiful, warm brown eyes and a kind smile. His hair was a bit longer than it had been, it was neat and styled into sort of a subtle fauxhauk. "It's good to see you again," He commented.

Jermey grinned, and nodded. "It's kind of 'crunch time' at work right now, and I need stress relief, so I'm making the rounds again. I figured it had been long enough since I saw you... and I kind of wanted to know how you were doing." He smiled again. "Good, obviously."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah... oh, wait, I want you to meet someone!" He said, then ran off to get Sam. He found him in the bathroom again, towelling off his freshly rinsed hair. Kurt noted that he had done an excellent job touching up his roots, as usual. "Sam, come on," He said. He grabbed Sam's wrist and hauled him out, then presented him to an amused looking Jeremy. "Jeremy, this is my friend Sam."

"It's nice to meet you, Sam," Jermey said, reaching forward and shaking Sam's hand. Sam stared blankly back at him.

"Jeremy was my first ever customer," Kurt said, poking Sam in the midriff. "He was really sweet,"

Sam forced a smile to his face. "Great," He said. "Well... I have to go get dressed so..." He nodded at them, then turned and walked out of the room.

Kurt sighed. "Sometimes I wish he was a puppet, and I could control the things he says and does." He said, leading Jeremy over to his bedroom. "He's so frusterating."

Jeremy smiled. "Ah, it's ok. I understand. I'm not paying him, he's got no reason to pretend to be happy to see me."

Kurt closed the bedroom door, and Jeremy took a seat on the edge of the bed. "But that's the thing, it's not just now. It's always. He's always like that and I don't know what to do." Kurt sat down next to Jeremy, and put his hand on his knee. "I don't know why, but he seems to keep getting these awful customers. And I don't know if they're treating him badly because of the way he is, or if he's the way he is because they treat him badly." He shook his head. "I just wish things were better for him, you know?"

Jeremy nodded, and looked expectantly at Kurt. Kurt guessed he knew he was about to ask him something. "So..." Kurt continued slowly, "I was wondering if maybe the next time you were... looking for someone, you could ask Blaine for Sam?" He asked. "I just, I want someone who'll be sweet to him. Please?"

Jeremy laughed. "Ah, gee Kurt, I don't know." He said. "I mean, it'd be a real inconvenience for me to have sex with your gorgeous blond friend. You're kind of putting me out here."

Kurt smiled. "So, that's a yes?"

Jeremy sighed. "If I have to." He grinned, and put his hand on the back of Kurt's neck, brushing his thumb along the curve.

Kurt leaned in, and pressed his lips against Jeremy's. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Well, sometimes we have to make sacrifices," Jeremy mumbled, kissing Kurt back. "And if I can make a pretty boy happy in the process..."

Kurt grinned, and nipped at Jeremy's bottom lip with his teeth. "Are you talking about me, or Sam?" He asked. He heard Jeremy swallow a little as he trailed a finger down his chest.

Jeremy paused, and leaned back a bit. He looked at Kurt, and the playfulness seemed to be gone from his eyes. He suddenly looked very serious. "You're so different," He said quietly.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Different?" He asked, surprised. "In a good way or a bad one?"

Jeremy put a hand on his cheek, and brushed some of Kurt's hair over his ear. "I don't know..."