Title: For family's sake
Author:0cloudyday
Rating: PG-13/R
Spoiler: none
Characters: Dean, Sam, John

Warnings: Dark and a lot of angst

Summary: AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

Disclaimer: I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.

A/N: My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

Chapter 3: The package

Previously

"Do you know the name of the guy who saved you?" John suddenly interrupted the silence.

"His name was Dean... Dean Murphy." Jess said.

"What?" Sam whispered. "Dean... oh my god, Dean!" Sam said and jumped up, running toward the still burning house.

"Sam!" Jess yelled after him, totally confused.

"Stay here!" John ordered Jessica and ran after his son.

Meg glared at him. "You are going to break, soon... and I can't wait for it." she hissed.

"He tried the last two years... and I am still me. Hell can't get worse!" Dean just said.

The next second the place the three had been, was empty.

Dean sat in the corner of his room, trying desperately not to move. Because every little move he did, hurt like hell. The demon did a good job this time – he definitely had been pissed.

Dean just tried to sit there, simply existing, not even thinking – because even that hurt. This time the demon had played with his mind.. let him see people who weren't there. Let the people tell him thinks, which would have killed him, if it had been really them. But Dean had fought like hell. Never let the demon get to him.

The demon won't break him so easily. He couldn't the last two years and in Dean's opinion it won't change soon, either. Not as long as he has to make sure that his deal won't be broken.

Dean waited, waited for his wounds to heal, waited for the pain to assuage. Waited for the day all this would end.

Dean was exhausted, he wished he could simply close his eyes – even just for a few minutes – and drift off, to some place ... any place, but here. Forgetting the pain for just a minute...

But he didn't dare. The last two years he hadn't really slept. Some part of him was always awake, always alert, never letting his guard down. He knew that the second he became incautious, the demon would be all over him.

But he was Dean Winchester after all. It simply won't happen and he smirked.

Then he noticed that somebody else was in the room now too.

"God, Dean. You look horrible... " the voice said. "I am so sorry! I never wanted this to happen..." it added quietly.

Dean just looked at the person in front of him. "You mean it? I mean what did you expect? You can't have been so naive. I mean the first time could have been an accident. But doing the mistake twice... Come on – you simply can't say you are sorry... you can't say you never wanted this to happen... Because you must have known!" Dean hissed in pain.

The person was hurt, Dean could see it in the eyes...

"It never had been a mistake... and it never had been an accident. I simply had hope, that things would turn out okay!" the person said. "You seriously wish that I had done it only once?" the person further asked Dean.

He didn't answer. Only closed his eyes... he hadn't answered, not because he didn't want to say it, but because he simply didn't know. Maybe it would have been easier. Maybe he would have accepted his fate... but was life even worth living, without it?

There was silence for a while... silence, both people needed...

But then the other person decided to talk about the reason why it actually came.

"You know... I have been thinking..." the voice said.

"Oh, good for you. Can't really do that now, because my head hurts like hell." Dean said sarcastically.

The person looked at him sadly... but continued. "You know. Your father and brother arrived pretty fast. I mean, they came just a few minutes too late to safe Jessica themselves." the voice said.

Dean looked at the person for a while... "Well, I guess Dad is cleverer than we thought." he answered after a while.

"Dean!" the voice said seriously.

"Why are you even asking me, when you already know the answer?" Dean said outworn.

"Because I want to know how much you know." the voice said.

"Fine." Dean said now seriously and sighed. "I guess Sammy hasn't slept well the last month." Dean said, while avoiding the other person's eyes.

The other person looked shocked for a while. "A month? Why didn't you say anything... that changes everything. You know that, Dean, right... I mean now that Sam is involved and even already has visions..." the person said – trying to get the whole picture.

"It changes, nothing!" Dean said angrily. "How often do I have to say it..."

"Dean... you sold yourself for Sam's safety, but the second he breaks you, he can make you undo the deal... you know that." the person said loud. "... and when he learns that Sam's powers finally start to develop... he will do everything to break you..." the person said with tears in the eyes.

"I won't break..." Dean said quietly. His head hurt like hell...

"Dean..." the voice said. "Simply undo the deal, please. Let him get Sam and you two can figure out a way to deal with this together..." the person begged – hating to see Dean like that.

"... and tell him the truth. I couldn't do this to him..." Dean said and closed his eyes. Giving the other person a sign to leave. And so it did.

"Sam stop... he isn't in there." John said, holding his son back, before he ran into a house in flames.

"But Dean..." Sam trembled, breaking down in his father's arms and John just held him, waiting till Sam caught himself again.

"He saved Jessica... what did the demon do to him? I still don't understand..." Sam whispered... letting go of his father.

"Neither do I... but we will keep searching and we will find him, I promise." John said and Sam nodded.

"Now lets go over to your girlfriend – I guess you have some explaining to do." John said and they went back to Jessica.

Sam told her that his brother was missing and hearing his name had made him snap. They discussed the situation for a while as they had no place to live now... and after a few phone calls with her parents, Jessica decided to stay at her parents house for a few days – much to Sam's satisfaction, as he wasn't so sure that she was safe yet.

He himself would go with his father, searching for his brother – for once in his hunter's life, he didn't need to lie.

Caleb arrived after a while and he offered to drive Jessica to her parents house, which she accepted, after Sam told her that it would ease his mind.

When they said goodbye, Caleb promised Sam to keep an eye on Jessica and he told John to call him, whenever he needed him or when he heard something new.

"So you think, now is maybe a good time to talk about that dream you had." John said when they went over to the Impala.

"I guess it was just a dream after all... I mean she didn't die, right. It was probably just the stress." Sam said, not looking at his father.

"You said yourself that you had these dreams for over a month. Just don't lie to yourself Sammy... it probably only didn't happen, because Dean intervened." John said. He didn't want to believe it himself, but he has seen to much Supernatural to simply ignore this one – and with the demon as their enemy, he needed to consider everything.

"What do you want me to say? That I seemingly can see the future or something?" Sam said angrily. This was just crazy.

Father and son were glaring at each other for a while. Finally John gave in – a move Sam wasn't used to... Dean's disappearance really changed his father.

"Well, lets simply see if it happens again, okay! We should look that we find Dean..." John said.

"And what do you suggest? Wait for the firemen to go away and sneak in, to search for a trace? Searching for more informations about this Travis? Or are you trying to find the demon with the signs he leaves?" Sam asked.

"Actually I thought about something else... Sam why were you so sure that the Dean who saved Jessica, was you brother?" John asked rhetorically.

Sam blinked twice, confused... and then it hit him. "Because he called himself Dean Murphy. Like Jim Murphy, Pastor Jim." Sam realized.

"Right... and Dean knows what he is doing. He could have called himself all names, so we wouldn't know that it was him. But he said Dean and he said Murphy... and I am pretty sure that he wants to give us a hint..." John said.

"You think Pastor Jim knows something about Dean's disappearance?" Sam asked.

"No. He helped me in this two years a lot to find Dean... He would have told me. But I think that Dean might be in Minnesota." John said.

"Dad, that's vague. You must admit that!" Sam said.

"I am not saying that we are driving there now. But we could check for things happening there and I will ask Jim if he knows anything new..." John simply said. "I simply think that Dean is giving us the name for a reason and it's our best trace." John said and Sam nodded.

John opened the trunk of the Impala to place his gun back in the car... that was when he remembered the package from Jim for Sam. "By the way... Here! Jim told me to give this to you." John said and gave Sam the package.

The package had the size of a bigger lunch box and was wrapped in a lot of newspapers.

Sam unwrapped it and it revealed a wooden case and an envelope pasted on the lid. Sam looked at it confused... his father was busy with the guns, not really watching.

Sam opened the envelope first and took out a piece of paper and stared at it for a few seconds. Not moving, shocked. He was trembling and John was finally looking up and saw Sam's pale face.

"Sammy you're okay?" he asked and his gaze fell on the case that was lying on the roof of the car.

That made John freeze. He had seen the case once – it was a long time ago... but he never forgot it. Everybody would see a normal wooden case, but he knew what's supposed to be in there.

John just wanted to reach over to the case, when Sam passed the piece of paper over to his father, breathing heavily and paralyzed.

John took the paper, still looking at the box. He slowly looked down on the paper and when he read the text he had problem's to breath normally. He knew now that the object was still in the case.

"I think we know now why Dean chose Murphy as his last name." Sam whispered. He tried to forget what he just read, because it simply made no sense...

Sam just wanted to reach for the case and open it, when John grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Not here Sammy. Don't open it in public... we get a room, protect us and then we are going to talk about this..." John said weakly... Sam didn't know what else to say and simply nodded.

They made protection rings of salt and other stuff they knew, to keep everything outside...

The whole ride both men hadn't talked, both needed to deal with what had happened the last hours. So when they finally felt safe, Sam placed the case on the nightstand and the open letter next to it.

The two sat on their beds, opposite to each other.

After a while Sam's hands moved over to the case. He hesitated for a second... and opened the box.

Sam just stared at it. Not really understanding – it must be a bad dream...

John looked away sadly – he had hoped somehow it was just a joke... or that the object wasn't there anymore... but there it was. Lying in front of him in the box, the Colt and four bullets. The gun made by Samuel Colt, a gun which is supposed to kill everything.

John had to smirk, even if he knew it wasn't funny.

"Dad?" Sam asked confused.

"This gun was made by Samuel Colt for a hunter, and a legend says that this gun can kill anything." John told Sam.

"Anything, like Supernatural anything?" Sam asked.

John nods. "I saw the gun once... my mentor, well the person who taught me a lot about demon hunting, he had it. He showed it to me once... I guess you were six years old." John told further.

"I can't remember... you never mentioned him..." Sam said.

"Well he was a careful man, I never took you there... well I guess I left you in the car that night." John said and Sam decided that it wasn't the time to argue with his father about his educational methods.

"The point is that I asked him to give it to me, to kill the demon..." John said. "... but he was stubborn and refused. Not even sure why he even showed me the gun... Well of course I wasn't satisfied with a no, so I went there again the next day. But the second I arrived there, Elkins was yelling at me. It was a damn fight... Probably comparable to the one we two had when you left for Stanford." John said with a smirk and Sam had to smirk too. All this seemed so unimportant now.

"He accused me that I have stolen the gun... I of course didn't know what he was talking about and always thought that it was a bad trick on his side, so I wouldn't ask for the gun... Well the fight ended so messy, that I haven't seen him since then." John finished his story. "And all the time Dean had the gun... I guess he is cleverer than I thought he was." John said and Sam looked sad.

"But I still don't get it... why this gun..." Sam asked...

He looked once again at the paper on the nightstand.

The letter was short, but still so meaningful.

"Sammy.

The next time you see me: KILL ME!!!

Love,

Dean

P.S. Don't show anybody... except for Dad."

"Maybe... maybe he is possessed by a demon. Maybe he thinks it's the only way to kill him." John said quietly.

"But he saved Jessica... he can't be possessed..." Sam said.

"Maybe he wasn't that moment... hell... Sam I don't know." John said angrily and stood up, pacing around in the room.

After awhile John took out his mobile and dialed a number.

"Whom are you calling." Sam asked.

"Jim... he has a hell of explaining to do!" John said angrily. Sam didn't complain. He was looking at the letter again and traced the writing with his fingers.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me!" John yelled in the phone.

"John?" they could hear Pastor Jim's confused voice. John placed the mobile on the table.

"When did you see him? I thought you wanted to help..." John said still loud.

"John what are you talking about. What happened?" Pastor Jim asked alarmed.

"The box you gave me, for Sammy. What else?!" John said now calmer.

"I don't know what is in it. I promised Dean I wouldn't look." Jim said still confused.

"So Dean gave it to you. When? Why didn't you tell me!" John asked.

"John I would have told you if I had thought that it has anything to do with Dean's disappearance... but Dean gave it to me when he was ten, I am pretty sure it's..." Jim told the father.

"Ten.." John asked unbelievingly and Sam was looking confused at his father too.

"Yes... it was one of the occasions when you left the boys at my place... it was night and I actually thought Dean was already asleep but he came in my room and seemed pretty upset. So we talked... Dean asked me if I would keep a secret for him and I said yes. He gave me the package and told me to take care of it. I should protect it, like it was the most important thing in the world and I assured him I would. Then he told me, god he was just a kid... he said if anything bad was ever going to happen to him, I should give this to Sammy. I told him that nothing bad would happen to him, but the boy had this serious look in his eyes and so I promised him I would do as he told. He seemed satisfied and happy after that and we never talked about it again... I don't think Dean meant this kind of situation, but I thought Sam should get it nevertheless... I had it with me because I thought Sam would show up sooner or later..." Jim told the story. "John, anything I need to know. Or can I help?" Jim asked.

"No... no.. it's okay. Thanks. I will call you when I know more." John said and he hung up.

"Ten?!" Sam repeated. "Dad, this doesn't make any sense."

But Sam looked at the letter again and he indeed noticed that the writing was the one of a kid and not of an adult.

"Why would Dean write this, when he is ten?" Sam asked confused, tired and broken.

"I don't know Sammy... I don't know." John said and sat down again. He felt so tiered right now and he knew it wasn't because he checked out of the hospital too early.

But before they could talk any further about the subject, Sam's phone rang. He looked at the display, but he didn't know the number.

"Yeah." Sam answered the phone.

"Is this Sam Winchester?" a scared female voice asked and Sam was alert immediately.

"Yes..." he said.

"My name is Meg Miller. Something is wrong with my brother, Max... You need to help me, please!" the voice said begging and near tears.

"Meg... calm down. Where did you get my number from?" Sam asked confused.

"Dean... you brother. He said in case I can't reach him, I should call you." Meg said.

"Dean... when did you met him..." Sam asked and activated the loudspeaker system of his phone, so his Dad could listen too.

"Three years ago... he was a friend of Travis." Meg said. "Please, you need to help me. Something isn't right here." Meg begged.

Sam looked at his father and he nodded. "Meg where are you?" he asked.

"Saginaw, Michigan." Meg said relieved.

"We are coming as fast as we can..." Sam promised.

Meg smiled at her real brother Tom, when she hung up, satisfied with herself.

"They are going to be here as fast as they can." Meg smirked evilly.

"Clever move, to bring Travis in the game." Tom said.

"They needed a bait... and you know how much I loved Travis – it was so much fun to kill him, with John Winchester waiting outside in his car." Meg remembered.

"Better make sure that Dean doesn't find out about this or we will be involved in the deal too." her brother answered.

"Dean is an idiot... but I can't wait to see little Sammy, he will be so much fun..." Meg said and smirked...

tbc.

I know I changed the story with the colt a little bit, but I needed this – may Kripke forgive me (okay as it is AU all in all and a fanfic... I hope he won't mind ;) ).

Hope you still like the chapter. I would love to get some comments (you can criticize too)...