Title: For family's sake
Author: 0cloudyday
Rating: PG-13/R
Spoiler: none
Characters: Dean, Sam, John
Warnings: Dark and a lot of angst
Summary: AU. Dean starts acting strange and one day he disappears. A desperate search for a brother and a son is starting.

Disclaimer: I don't owe Supernatural or the characters. All Kripke's.
A/N: My native language isn't English, so sorry for the mistakes.

I have my exams at the moment, so had no time to update, sorry. But here is the next chapter. Probably still confusing parts in it. But just ask... I'll try to help as far as I can at this point of the story ;)... And in general: would simply love to get some comments ;). And I want to thank everybody who reviewed. You all made my day ;)!

For family's sake

Chapter 6: The truth

Previously

"...You partly went against your deal. Which means we either see it as undone or you let us run the show." Tom said and smiled at Dean, who got pale.

"No..." Dean whispered and closed his eyes.

"Yes!" Meg said. "...any complains?"

Dean sighed. He had no other choice. The demons were really partly right, which he couldn't risk. In case the deal gets undone, everything he went through was in vain. And all this would end far worse. He had hoped that he could buy himself a little more time, but as it seems, fate didn't allow him that.

"Fine..." Dean said and looked back at his father and brother.

"... Go ahead then." Dean said calmly. Looking bored at Meg and Tom.

"Oh no, you won't get away so easily." Meg said smiling nicely at Dean, who only looked back calmly, which was actually the opposite of his feelings inside.

"So how do we start this?" Meg thought aloud. "Well... I think Sam should start. So go ahead Sammy, ask Dean a question. He will answer – and it will be the truth, right Dean." Meg said laughing evilly.

Both brothers didn't say a word.

"Come on Sammy. This is your chance... maybe your only one. I know there are thousands of questions in you head. Just spill it. You can ask as much as you want." Meg taunted him.

Sam wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to ask Dean all the questions but Meg obviously had her plans and he didn't want to hurt Dean... But Meg was right this might be his only chance, as Dean was acting so rejectingly.

"Dean, why did you leave?" Sam asked slowly and he and his father were looking at him full of expectation.

Dean glared at his family, at Meg and at Tom. This was just crazy and he knew he had no other chance than to say the truth. He couldn't risk to break the deal.

"Because of you... Mom... Dad... because I had no other choice. Chose what you prefer." Dean said.

"You are not really helping here Dean. Please, we just want to understand." Sam said.

"Trust me Sammy, you say you want to know, but you don't." Dean said. "I went through it. I know it. Trust me."

"Try me." Sammy said provokingly.

"Try another question. We will get to it later, okay." Dean said begging.

Sam saw the look on his brother's face and nodded.

"Fine." Sam said. "Who is Travis." Sam still wanted to start at the beginning.

"He was possessed four years ago. By a demon who is able to say how serious you are about things... okay he had other abilities too, but I went to him because of that power." Dean said.

"Why?" John asked.

"The demon had to be sure that I am serious about keeping my part of the deal. Was a pretty nasty procedure. Well as a thank you I exorcised the demon... that was before that deal was made." Dean added and was smirking at Meg, who glared.

"Guess Meg wasn't so satisfied about it, after all she had a crush on the Travis demon, right." Dean said.

"Well I had fun burning his body on the ceiling, when John was waiting outside." Meg hissed back. "And your father would have burned too... if you hadn't interfered." she added and Dean didn't answer to that.

At least one thing was clear now. Sam and John thought.

"Dean what happened in Pocatello?" Sam asked fast. They were getting information and he would use this opportunity.

"You seriously did a good work there Dad. How did you find out?" Dean asked.

"Some people heard you and this other person talk in the alley before you went to the bar." John told his son, which caused Dean to get pale. He couldn't believe that his Dad nearly found out everything... but he was pretty sure that he hadn't, otherwise he would act differently.

"Oh..." Dean only said. "Pocatello was when I first suggested the deal." He answered the question, which now caused Sam and John get pale. They had never expected that it was Dean who suggested the deal to the demon. And it meant that it started already three years ago.

"Then I guess you know about the robbery, right?" Dean said and Sam and John nodded. "There was a special artifact they needed, well I got it for them. To show them that I meant it seriously." Dean said.

"And the two girls who died during the robbery?" John asked...

"You seriously think I did it? Fine, think what you want." Dean said.

"Hey. You want to decrease my count? At least kill one person before you pretend to have killed mine." Meg said, but she was slightly confused. She would have thought that he would defend himself, seriously explain somethings. After all he went through hell for his family, why would he want them to hate him like this.

Dean didn't answer to that.

"Dean ... what's the deal about? Please we need to know." Sam finally asked the question which had been nagging him for a long time.

"I told you. You don't want to know!" Dean said.

"Dean..." Tom said threatening. "Slowly but surely I am getting bored of all the crap you are telling... and you don't want me to hurt anybody, right?" he said.

"Spill it or I will love to do it for you." Meg added.

Dean just glared. This was just crazy. He had serious problems to keep his anger in control.

"Fine." He hissed. "You want to know about the deal? You won't like it, trust me." Dean said, while his family looked expectingly at him, but also tensed.

"The demon got my obedience for your sorry lives and you all screwed it by coming here. Good job." Dean said softly and he looked sad, while John and Sam looked shocked. Both wanted to run over to Dean, but they could feel the threatening looks of the two demons and they knew Dean hasn't told everything yet... they needed to wait.

"Why would you do the deal, why would he accept? I mean we were hunting the demon since he killed Mom, why did you do the deal, I simply don't understand..." Sam said confused.

"Good question. Seriously." Dean said and smirked a little. His brother really knew how to get to the point. Dean wondered if it was something they learned in Stanford...

"I will put it like this, okay. Just listen." Dean said and his father and brother nodded. "I killed way more demons than you know. I had something like my own lead to find the demon and in nearly every second city we sent a demon back to hell... well I had another demon too." Dean said slowly.

John looked totally confused. "How...?" he asked.

"Well you taught me well, I guess... and it has something to do with my genes.." Dean whispered the last part, but both Sam and John heard it...

"Let's just say that I wasn't always playing pool...All this of course pissed the demon off and he even started to send demons after me... and then Sammy told me that he wanted out of this life, that he was done hunting and that he thought about going to college..." Dean said.

"Dean, I..." Sam didn't know what he actually wanted to say, he just had this bad feeling and he so wanted to be there for his brother. He remembered when he told Dean about his plans. It had been Dean's 23rd birthday and they had been drinking... he hadn't intended to tell Dean because he knew it would break his heart but when Dean heard about the plans he had only looked thoughtful and had finally said: "Good for you." and had smiled, which had actually encouraged Sam to go through with it...

"No, Sammy, it's okay. Just listen." Dean said and it was the first time since Sam saw his brother, that he really recognized him and Sam smiled slightly.

"I had the deal in mind for a long time, but this confession finally made me do it. We were in Pocatello then and I summoned the demon the next night and told him my idea: You two won't get hurt, he would leave you alone, which includes his demons too..." Dean said and looked at Tom and Meg, who seemed pretty relaxed.

"... therefor I would stay with them and stop killing his demons." Dean ended the story.

"I still don't understand. Sam is right. We were hunting the demon since your mother died. You were killing his demons – good. We could have found him. Killed him. Why the deal?" John said.

Dean smiled sadly. "Because there are things you don't know... about what really happened the night we lost Mom." Dean said and he looked as if he was in pain. He had kept this secret for years and now he would simply tell it to Sammy and his father. And the problem was that Meg and Tom were listening...

"Dean?" Sam asked concerned.

"Shall I help?" Meg said smiling. Everybody turned to look at her. She was now pointing the gun at John and Sam again.

"Choose Dean. Whom shall I shoot. Your Daddy or Sammy?" Meg asked smirking.

"Meg, stop it. I can deal with this alone – thanks." Dean said bored. He knew that Meg was just acting, she wouldn't dare to break the deal so obviously.

"Choose!" Tom now said and pointed his gun at John again, so Meg could point at Sam.

"Don't play with me!" Dean now said angrily. "You two have a death wish, or something?"

"Come on Dean. Where is the fun without some action and drama?" Meg said.

Dean didn't really know how all this happened, when he had imagined meeting his family again, it always had been different - less complicated. But what had he actually expected?

"We are waiting Dean..." Tom said.

Dean sighed and he knew he was doing a big mistake... but somehow he couldn't stop himself. He slowly moved over to his family, the first time he really got near them, today.

And he stopped in front of the person, who needed him right now.

"Shoot Sammy." Dean said, standing in front of his Dad and there was this sad look in his eyes. "Shoot Sammy." he repeated like a whisper.

Sam looked shocked at his brother and John looked even more horrified. "Dean no." he yelled and pushed Dean slightly in Sam's direction.

John had taught Dean to keep an eye on his little brother, since Sammy was born... even when he hadn't known about demons yet... he had never thought that Dean would put him over Sammy, he didn't want Dean to put him over Sammy. This was just wrong and he couldn't believe that Dean was doing this, because John also knew that Dean loved his brother way to much.

This was wrong, this wasn't his son...

"Oh how sweet, may I?" Meg said and cocked her gun.

Now John got mad and he lifted his gun, cocked it and pointed it at Meg.

"Don't think of it!" He threatened.

But before anybody could say anything more or could do anything more, there was a shoot and Sam looked shocked, sad and betrayed, when he went down to the floor.

"NO!" John yelled, looking shocked at Dean who was holding the gun in his hands, which he had used a second before to shoot his brother in the leg.

Sam was holding his wounded knee and was pointing his gun, first at Dean, then at Meg and Tom... he didn't really understand what just happened.

John meanwhile was attacking Dean. He couldn't believe what just happened, but he knew that he had to stop Dean, before more horrible things happened. It was like his worst nightmare coming true...

John was attacking, but Dean was his son and they had trained a lot together, to know each others strengths and weaknesses ... and Dean seemed a lot stronger and faster than two years ago. And finally Dean managed to pin his Dad against the next wall, while Meg and Tom were looking amused.

"You know I imagined a lot of ways how this would happen, but this is seriously the best outcome." Meg said.

"Shut up!" Dean said coldly.

"Dean you know what you just did..." John asked...

"You should have gone when I told you... I just wanted to protect you... i did what I thought was the right thing to do" Dean said sadly. "You want to know the whole truth, now you will get it... trust me." Dean said and his face was blank again.

"Don't move!" Dean added, when he let go of John. Tom was still pointing his gun at John...

"You two stay out of it." Dean added to Meg and Tom, who only looked at him amused.

Dean went over to Sam but when he nearly reached him, Sam backed away. As good as he could, with his still bleeding knee.

There was the look in Sam's eyes that made Dean's heart break. He had hoped that he would never see the look in his brother's eyes, not if it was for him... it was pure fear...

"Sammy." Dean said quietly.

"Stay away!" Sam said and he was pointing his gun at Dean now.

"Sam." Dean said, shutting his feelings out, because otherwise he would break... pointing a gun to his head... he was shutting his feelings out, because there were more important things to do now.

"I mean it." Sam repeated, not taking his eyes from Dean.

Dean went down to his knees, so he could see right into his brother's eyes. "Sam put the gun away... it's making me a little nervous... and you are not going to shoot me anyway." Dean said.

"Oh really? Because, guess what. I thought so too, about you. Guess who gave me this bullet wound?" Sam said sarcastically.

"If I hadn't shoot you, Meg would have...and it wouldn't have been in the knee, believe me. Probably the heart or the head. I was trying to protect you." Dean said, not once taking his eyes from Sammy and while he said all this he reached out for the gun in Sam's hand and grabbed it.

"Really good job, Dean. Thanks." Sam said unsure... but he let go of the gun and Dean carefully placed it to the floor.

"You wanted to know the truth... now there is no going back." Dean said quietly and a tear was running down his face. "I am sorry. I never wanted it to happen like this... but none of us has a choice now." Dean said.

"Dean what are you talking about." Sam asked confused.

"Shh, Sammy. Just look at me." Dean said and his right hand reached out for Sammy's head and his thumb was touching his forehead. "Just look at me and listen... it doesn't hurt...there is no blood..."

"Dean what are you doing?" Sam asked confused. Sam couldn't place it, but the way Dean was talking and his hand at his head, it was like a deja vue... a lost memory, he couldn't remember, but knew happened...

"Sam. You saw the bullet go into your knee and felt it. You expect it to hurt, you expect it to bleed and you expect it to weaken you. But that's only an illusion. It doesn't hurt. There is no wound and it's not bleeding." Dean said and kept looking at Sam... and he could see the change in Sam's eyes.

"Trust me in this one... there is no wound." Dean whispered. He let go of Sammy, who looked kind of shocked and confused... and stood up and stepped back.

This was it... now he really had no other choice than to tell everything...

"Sam? Dean." John asked and he freed himself from Tom's grip, because he was now totally focused on Sam and Dean... and there was this look in his eyes – amazement, satisfaction... John couldn't place it, but he didn't care either.

When John reached his boys, he was totally shocked. Because Sam was now standing again and he was pointing his gun at Dean. But that wasn't what had shocked him so much, he would have done the same thing in Sam's place... but the thing that shocked him was the fact that Sam was standing on both his feet. No sign of a wound...

"How did you do that?" Sam asked and he looked kind of freaked...

Dean smiled at him sadly... "You can't blame this on me Sammy, sorry. This was definitely all your doing..." he said.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You okay Sammy?" John asked concerned.

"If I am okay? Can't you see that I am freakin okay. Dean just shoot me and there is not even a scar..." Sam said totally confused.

"I told you you wouldn't like it... you still want the truth?" Dean asked.

Sam lowered the gun... and nodded calmly. "Yeah.." Sam whispered.

"Had any nightmares the last month?" Dean asked and Sam got pale...

"Of course you had... of Jess burning up, pinned to the ceiling, right?" Dean said sadly but Sam didn't answer...

"What?" Meg asked. "You freakin bastard... you knew he was developing his powers... and you didn't tell?" she asked angrily.

"Don't listen to her." Dean told Sam and John.

"Powers?" Sam repeated Meg's words.

"I guess I should start from the start..." Dean said and when he heard no complaining he continued. "... demons want to take over the world since they exist... we know that... but somehow they never succeeded. Which made them to think of other options. One of them included possession. Taking over a human body. Controlling soul and mind – using the body to fulfill his plans. But this costs a lot of power. It takes a very strong demon to do it, to have full control of a human and still be able to use it's own powers... and of course it takes time. And on top of that the human body can't live long under this circumstances. After about fife years they are worn out and they die and the demon has to search for a new body. That are the facts, we all know."

John and Sam nodded slightly. They had no idea where this was going.

"Well about a hundred years ago or more they thought about another new way... a way to use the human body way longer..." Dean said and now came the hard part. "They experimented a lot and most of the experiments failed, but finally one option worked. It takes a long time, but the demons had learned to be patient... and it still costs a lot of power, but in the end it was still worth it. It allows a full binding between human and demon and the body lasts hundred of years and the outcome is always a way more powerful demon than it had been in its pure form."

John had the bad feeling that he knew what was coming next... and if he did, then Dean was right, he didn't really want to know.

"As far as I know there were about twenty successful bindings till now... most of them I wasted. It was ugly, but I am still alive, right." Dean said. "I guess you understand now why the demon wanted me to stop so desperately... why he accepted the deal. He worked pretty hard for this. It costs him a lot of power to create those demons... actually till now he is the only demon I know who managed to prepare the humans for the binding..." Dean continued.

"So they... Meg and... Tom. They are...?" Sam asked and looked over to the two demons who were listening to Dean's story as he and his father were.

Dean laughed. "No... the demon is their father... he really loves them, because they are very strong already. They are probably getting the next prepared body, but at the moment they are still only possessing two innocent humans – not as powerful as they wish to be... and they have the bodies for a few years now. These bodies are living their last days, I guess." Dean said sadly.

Meg and Tom only glared at Dean, but didn't say a word.

"The important part is, how the whole procedure works." Dean came back to the topic. "The demon figured out that the human needs to be in a special age to be... opened." Dean said slowly.

"Opened?" Sam asked confused.

"The demon... opens the soul, body, mind... I don't know it exactly. The fact is that the demon opens the people for the dark side. The humans grow older and they open up even more. Which causes them to channel demonic powers..." Dean said and as he expected he saw his Dad and Sam get pale.

"When they turn 20 the procedure is complete. There is a ceremony and a demon and the human become one. One body, one soul, one mind... one heart." Dean ended his story.

"20.." Sam asked weakly and there was hope in his voice.

"Normally 20..." Dean answered weakly and he couldn't look into his brother's eyes.

"Oh..." Sam said and he really didn't feel well.

"Dean... Dean! You seriously want to tell me..." John couldn't finish his sentence. This was just wrong.

"The demon comes to the baby's 6 month birthday..." Dean added, still avoiding his father's or Sam's eyes.

"I was six month old when Mom died?" Sam asked apathetically.

John nodded weakly.

Sam suddenly felt sick and dirty. He felt light headed and he wasn't sure how long he could go through with this. This was way to much information for a few hours...

"Don't fell bad Sammy. You will make a great companion with us." Meg said smiling.

Sam looked at her for a second... but then he couldn't keep it any longer. He went over to the next corner and threw up...

"I said shut up Meg." Dean glared at her, while his Dad went over to Sam to soothe him by rubbing circles on his back.

"Sh..." John tried to reassure his youngest, while he could barely hold himself together. Sam was on his knees now and the vomiting was now mixed with sobbing.

Dean just looked at the scene sadly, but didn't dare to get near Sam... he knew pretty much exactly how Sammy felt. After all he had to learn about this too. But in his case there had been totally different circumstances.

After there was nothing left to get out of his system, Sam stiffed. The sobbing stopped and he pushed his father's hand away.

"Don't touch me." Sam whispered.

"Sammy." John said...

"No... just don't. We are going to be..." Sam whispered.

"Enemies? You are giving up so fast, little brother? I am disappointed." Dean said and looked seriously in Sam's and John's direction.

"What do you want." Sam hissed.

"I want you to listen what I am telling you... god. Sam. Don't think that now that you are supposed to be a demon you are allowed to show your whole dark side. That's not an excuse... you had 22 years time to do that." Dean said half joking half serious.

Sam didn't stop glaring at his brother.

"You are not going to be one of them... as much as you might want it." Dean said.

"Yeah sure because I have you and Dad? Because I had such a great childhood?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Yeah damn right, because of me." Dean said and looked right into his brother's eyes. "And if you had listened you would know why."

Sam looked confused but John had understood and went pale once again. Dean seriously loved his brother – too much for his own sake. And now everything made so much more sense.

"Because of the deal." John said quietly and when Sam heard it he went pale and his legs felt weak once again.

"Dean..." Sam could only say.

"You still want to be a demon?" Dean asked coldly.

"Dean what did you do?" Sam whispered. He couldn't believe it.

"Keeping a promise. I told Mom I would never let anything bad happen to you." Dean said.

"Dean no..." Sam said, tears running down his face once again.

"It's okay. You still don't know everything... there is a reason why you can never become one of his fellows." Dean said quietly.

"More..." Sam whispered unbelievingly.

TBC