A/N: This chapter was really hard to write. I had most of the ideas already written down but putting them together was a struggle, urgh. I still hope this chapter isn't too bad and that you guys will enjoy it. Thank you all for the reviews, favorites and followings, they mean so much to me!
Oh and warnings, remember that this fiction is rated M for a reason that takes all its sense in this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Joker still could not quite believe that Shepard was really there, half naked in his arms and obviously wanting him as much as he wanted her. He could not stop his hands from roaming all over her soft, warm body; this was such a contrast compared to the coldness and toughness he had felt when she had left him, left this world. In her embrace, he forgot the two years he had spent mourning her and decided that tonight, the world began again. The future that was awaiting them suddenly didn't feel so scary because Shepard was giving him something to look forward to.
Before this war, before her, Joker had never really considered the big L word. Of course, there had been women in his life but they never stayed for he was a career man. The Alliance had given him the opportunity to succeed despite his Vrolik Syndrome and he wasn't going to let it slip away because of a woman; he didn't trust these creatures. Shepard though, she had always seemed worth the risk of losing his rank, his career. She had never judged him, always looking at him without pity or disgust; he had seen those in so many people's eyes. She treated him like the man he really was and this, this had cracked up the walls he had kept up for so long, allowing her access to the way leading straight to his heart.
Right now, his brain had a really hard time focusing on any of what was happening, for his blood had left for a southern area of his body, area which didn't seem to get enough of Shepard's warmth. All he could think about was the way her luscious body was moving against his, asking for more. His mouth didn't want to leave hers; he was nibbling harshly on her lower lip, giving in to the desire of letting her know that she was his, that there was no turning back now. By the sounds forming in the back of her throat and the way her nails were savagely scratching, digging into his back, he knew she was responding to him. Each of her touch was taking him to a new height, the desire in the pit of his stomach dangerously growing.
Grasping hold of her tousled hair, he firmly but gently lifted her head, savoring the surprised gasp escaping Shepard's mouth, followed by her mischievous, sensuous smile; exactly what he had expected. After placing a sweet peck on the top of her nose, he went back to her jawline that he had dreamt to kiss a thousand times before. As he was leaving wet kisses along her neck, Jeff brought his hands up her hips, past her curvy waist to land on her breasts. They perfectly fitted in his palms and the silly thought that they felt like they were meant for his touch made him smile inside.
As he was kneading them, Shepard did something he hadn't expected this time. In between pants, moans, clinging to his shoulders, caressing his scalp to urge him on, she had whispered "Oh God, Jeff!" He had frozen for a second, trying to take in the wave of love and desire that Shepard had sent his way. Jeff; his name, that he had heard so many times, said by so many different people, women too; but never had he thought that it could feel this amazing to hear these 4 letters from the mouth of his lover. She had made it sound like a prayer, like music to his ears. He brought his hands up to cradle her face. Joker looked straight into her eyes and softly kissed her swollen lips, the sight of her beautiful face leaning into his touch knotting his stomach, for she was everything and more than he had expected, for she simply and straightforwardly knew how to make him a better man.
She hugged him to her, certainly feeling that there were having a "special moment", not quite sure of what had caused it. She rested her head against his chest and he inhaled the smell of her, a mix of ginger, fresh citrus fruits and let her scent envelop him, intoxicating every inch of his body. No one could ever smell like Shepard. During their first day aboard the Normandy SR-2, when there was still the lingering fear in the back of his mind that his Shepard may not be the Shepard brought back by Cerberus, it's this smell that had made the doubts vanish.
Her breathe was hot on his chest, slowly turning the tenderness into pure, raw desire. The yearning grew even more when she started placing open-mouthed kisses on his now hyper-sensitive skin. His groin bucked against hers on its own volition and she seemed pleased by the reaction, grinding against him in return and now licking and scraping his chest with her teeth. She wanted more? Joker was more than ready to satisfy her in every way possible… The thoughts of all the things he wanted to do to her made him shiver inside and suddenly reminded him of the uncomfortable straining in his pants.
Jeff lowered himself to grip her thighs and lift her against the fish tank. It didn't take a second for her legs to wrap around his waist. The closer she was, the more he was losing himself into her. He had wanted to tell her how much he had missed her, how her death had haunted him –still haunted him. He wanted to ask for forgiveness because no matter how many times he had heard the shrinks he had been forced to see by the Alliance, tell him that it was not his fault she had died; their words had never made it to his heart and soul. None of them had been there when the Normandy had blown up, they thought they knew, but really, they didn't.
The greatness of space and its smell of freedom and adventure had led Joker to become a pilot; his own body had long felt like a cage but space had opened its door, flying giving him the possibility to find his way out. When the Normandy had been attacked though, the darkness and emptiness of space had felt like a trap and thinking about how easily Shepard's body had gotten lost in the open space, with nothing to hold on to, had changed him. He didn't know if anyone could ever understand the depth of his love for her; her death had killed him and her resurrection had been like a rebirth. He would have been able to live in her shadow if IT had been what she wanted, for the simple reason that he had promised himself to do everything to protect her; he would enter into a Faustian pact if it meant saving her; the trade had been a life for a life and he would follow the rule if he had to.
Now that she was pressed up against him, returning the favors he was giving her, he didn't think he would be able to go back to not feeling like he was his; she could make him or break him, and the sudden apprehension that she might not care for him as much as he did for her settled in the back of his mind. However, tonight was their night and he wasn't going to waste it on insecure thinking. Instead, Joker breathlessly whispered in her ear the deepest thought his blurry mind was able to form at the moment. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"
With Jeff pressed up against her, his chest hot and sweaty against hers, Shepard's usually quick and coherent thinking had vanished and the only sound escaping her mouth when she heard his question was a chuckle. He had put her in a playful mood, which wasn't something she usually was, in any occasion and especially not with men. She was used to keeping things at a controllable level, meaning she went straight to the essential, not caring about the many different foreplays that she knew existed, but wasn't interested in. Shepard had shared some down times with fellow soldiers who knew, just like her, that feelings were not a luxury that they could allow themselves to have. Shepard knew that it was hard enough to care for herself on the battlefield; she didn't want to add someone to the equation. This vision of relationships had been fine by her…until Joker. He had turned her heart of stone into something delicate, making the idea of wanting, needing more, blossom. Tonight, he was everything but what she had experienced before: no men had ever treated her that way, with so much attention and tenderness. 'So that's what love does?'she thought.
His tongue was doing amazing things to her earlobe and jawline, sending shivers down her spine, and Shepard decided to put the new playful mood she was in at good use. "I don't know what you're talking about" she replied, trailing her hands along his firm chest that heaved under her touch, down to his belt, looking at him with innocent eyes. Her deft fingers then purposely caressed the bulge in his pants as she was undoing his buckle.
"Fuck.", he said through gritted teeth, bending his head down to her mouth and fiercely kissing her, capturing her moans into his mouth as his hands moved around to her butt to hold her tight, leading her toward the bed. Shepard suddenly felt like it was getting hotter in the room, desire running through her veins and making her hot at the idea of what was to come. Her hands were still at his pants that she finally tore open as Joker stood still and her legs left his warm and tender waist to stand on the cold, hard floor.
The back of her legs bumped into the bed where she sat down, wrapping her arms around his mid-section, bringing her head against his low, low waist and kissed him. Shepard then looked up at him with come-hither looks, an enticing smile forming on her lips. As she rose to her feet again, making sure her chest would brush every part of his body in her ascent, she went to sit on her knees on the bed. When her head arrived at level with his, Shepard eagerly kissed him while her hands tugged his pants and underwear down. She then took hold of his length, gently stroking him, making him hum with contentment as his hands came to rest on her hips, pulling her closer.
The ache in the pit of her belly was almost unbearable, she wanted all of him. Everything about Joker felt right and she had never felt that good in her entire life. She knew that there was no turning back now, that they were already on the slippery slope of love. Part of her was still holding back for she was about to give him her everything and the thought scared her a little. She didn't know how much she would be able to give him, if it would be enough; she just knew she didn't want her insecurity to let him down. He deserved the best in life and she was honored that he had thought her to be worth the challenge.
More than right, everything about Jeff was warm and welcoming: his skin, his gaze burning into hers as they were sharing such a unique experience, something he seemed to be as amazed by as she was. She would give her life to the cold of Alchera all over again for him. The warmth of the sun was nowhere to be seen in the depth of Space, on the surface of the planet where her body had drifted. There had been nothing but the cold and snow and darkness and loneliness… and death. Jeff was her glowing sun, the burning flame chasing the night away and the warm air that kept her alive and hopeful; he was her home. She hoped that tonight, he would understand how much he meant to her.
The alarms in Joker's head started ringing when Shepard's enclosed her delicate hands around him; his arousal was achieving the point of no return and he wanted to make her last with her. So it's reluctantly that he mumbled a half-hearted "Stop" against her mouth and took hold of her hand and held it in his. "Not fair", she pouted, swaying her hips against him like a stubborn and petulant child who had been forbidden to eat candies. 'God, she is going to be the death of me' Jeff thought, finding it hard to resist her repeated and languorous teasing. He had to switch the roles before it was too late.
Jeff slowly pushed Shepard down on the bed never releasing her mouth, tongues tangling at each other, like an unbreakable link between them. He had wanted to be careful not to land all his weight on her but their half removed pants had him stumble over her. They both laughed but once he adjusted himself over her, she arched into him, making him growl with frustration. As she was smiling against his mouth, she broke their kiss and said "Hey Flyboy, afraid you won't be able to keep up with the great Commander Shepard?" She was teasing him again, and he was decided to play along but he wasn't going to let her win.
"Well, there is something that might not stay up any longer if you keep torturing me like that." He was slowly making his way down her body, first sucking at her jaw line, his mouth then giving all its attention to her soft, pink breasts. Her hands were gripping the hair at the back of his head, keeping him close to her; she was whimpering, making his lower belly spasm. His hands, first resting on her hips, were now under her knees, urging her legs apart, his fingers sliding down the soft flesh of her inner thighs, tracing random patterns over her sensitive skin. He lowered himself more before going any further with his eager hands, covering her belly with wet kisses and stopping at her navel.
He rose to his feet for a second, removing his restraining pants, boxers and combat boots. He was towering her, enjoying the view of her luscious body. She had a lot of scars that he found beautiful in their own special ways; they were part of her, part of her past and who she was and they made her so unique, so whole. When his gaze reached her face, he was quite happy by the way she was looking at him, with desire and quite some contentment. The hours spent working out and keeping himself in shape despite the pain had never felt so rewarding. Once he was done with his own clothing, he dropped to his knees, not without some pain that he kept for himself, and removed her pants and boots. She had been staring at him the whole time, making his skin tingle where her eyes had looked. He hooked one of his arms under her thigh, bringing her to him.
When he heard a whispered "Oh God!" he knew she was giving him the permission to do what he had dreamt to do so many times during his sleepless nights and the long lonely shifts at the helm of the Normandy. Unable to hold back any longer, he placed a series of soft kiss on her inner thighs first, his free hand caressing the length of her bent leg, eliciting goose bumps on its passage. His mouth was now dangerously close to her hot, moist center on which he placed an almost chaste kiss, breathing her in, the smell of her arousal like a magic spell making his desire rise to heights he hadn't thought possible. As his mouth found her most sensitive area, he started lapping at it, sometimes even nibbling a bit, to which Shepard reacted by groaning low, her hips bucking against him. He then brought his free hand to her entrance, his fingers gently sliding into her, her wetness and warm making him lose his mind.
Her body was moving in rhythm with Joker's deft fingers and tongues, her walls starting to spasm around him. He wished he could keep doing this longer but he knew he wasn't going to last very long and he really wanted to move within her, to let her warmth envelop him and come in unison with her. As if reading his mind, Shepard let her head fall back, running her fingers through his tousled hair before whispering "Jeff…plea…please… come here" He left a last open-mouthed kiss on her sex, crawling back on her until his body was at level with hers, his penis brushing against her entrance, making it hard for him to keep his carnal impulses in check.
Her gasping mouth turned into a wicked smile as she pushed him on his back and straddled his hips. His breath caught in his throat at the sight before his eyes; the dim light of the room, made every curve of her body look so define, almost unreal. The blue glowing of the fish tank, outlining her figure made her look like some kind of divine creature, like an angel. His hands went to rest on her hips, caressing her soft skin and she bent down, kissing him gently as she started sliding her velvety lips along his throbbing dick. This time, his arousal increased to the point of no return and quiet groans turned into frantic moans when he pushed her on her back again, putting their agony to an end.
Joker brought his hands to rest on each side of her head as Shepard took hold of him. They were both looking into each other eyes when she slowly guided him into her and he slowly pushed deep until her warmth fully enveloped him and a cry, half of pain, half of pleasure, escaped both their mouths. They quickly found their rhythm, his movements slow at first until she raised her hips to meet his, asking for more. Already, the tension in his abdomen was becoming painful and he knew he would not last long; however, he committed himself to wait until he had satisfied her first. This night was her night and he wanted to make her feel like the most precious being in the universe. He held his forehead to hers and she opened her eyes, smiling at him, moving her arms down his back, right to his rear, squeezing him to her.
At this moment, their bodies started to move faster as Shepard was repeating again and again "Jeff, Jeff… Oh God Jeff… Look at me…" He obeyed and their eyes were conveying all of the love and desire they felt for each other. Jeff was now desperate for release, feeling her walls tightening around him. He gripped her thighs, raising them over his hip to a new, deeper angle. She growled and he gasped as he was pushing harder into her. It took all of his safe control not to come undone right then but his restrain fell into pieces as he felt her walls starting to spsam around him. "I'm gonna-" he huskily warned her but she shut him up with her finger, that he hastened to capture in his mouth and suck at. Shepard was obviously close to her own release too and as she hit her climax, Joker thrust one last time into her, both achieving a bliss that let them satisfied and loudly gasping, the only sound filling the room.
Jeff disentangled himself from Shepard and went to slump next to her, Shepard taking place in the crook of his neck, her leg and arm draped over him. Words were not needed right now and they just remained silent, fingertips still ghosting over sweaty skin and contented sighs escaping their mouths. Joker looked at her from above, her features relaxed as she was slowly falling asleep. She took a last deep breath and murmured "I love you…" He wanted to scream for hearing these 3 words from her mouth but instead he let her fall asleep in his arms and kissed her forehead.
Jeff thought about when he had woken up this morning, to the thought of Shepard of course, without daring to think that he would end up the day in her arms. In the past few weeks, EDI had been in the forefront of his mind because Shepard was out of reach, always had been. He still felt so silly for the way he had acted in Purgatory. He had been so close to lose her, the thought making him tighten his embrace around her sleeping body. She moved a little and he was afraid he had woken her up but instead, she reached for his hands, entwining her fingers with his. "It's like you know exactly when I need you, babe." he quietly said, remembering how in his hardest moment after her death he had always felt like she had been there, next to him. Maybe souls did existed, maybe theirs, into Space, had been bound forever and Jeff drifted into sleep with this beautiful idea in mind.
A/N: So, I still have a couple of thoughts for a next chapter but then, I do not think I will keep writing this story. I want to focus on my Shep/Vega fiction, as well as develop ideas for a one-shot about you know, a green guy who names Shepard after a warrior angel ;) Anyway, if you guys have suggestions about things you'd like to see or anything that could give me more inspiration, please message me (review or PMs if you prefer!) Oh and please, don't forget to read and review!