"Han, are you alright?" Emily slowed down the car. "Yes.. keep driving." Hanna knew if Emily was driving she wouldn't be able to focus on her tears. Hanna wasn't alright. She wished Emily would stop the car and hold her. Isn't that the kind of person Emily Fields is? She's the knowing, loving and great best friend. That's why Hanna loved her so much.
Emily had a golden heart and would do anything for anybody. Some of what Emily did would scare Hanna but what could Hanna do? Hanna scared Emily the other night when Emily found Hanna al drugged up.
'Em must think I got slipped the drugs. Little does she know I've been addicted to pills since I was 16.' It's not something Hanna needed spreading around so at parties with a lot of people Hanna would usually take little amounts. But at that party Hanna went overboard. Thank goodness Emily found her before one of those frat boys did.
Emily turned her head to Hanna again. Emily's jaw clenched and she slowed down again. "Em, I said drive, please!" Emily didn't listen and put the car to 'park'. "Hanna, talk to me! I'm sorry you walked in but you don't have to be so cold!" Hanna backed up to the window. 'Emily thought she did something wrong? Doesn't she see my feelings for her?' "Emily stop. You didn't do anything, I'm not upset." Emily's face called bullshit. 'Maybe I don't have to wait until tonight to tell her.' "Emily, if I tell you something, it stays between us right?" "Of course Hanna. Who do you think I am?" Hanna smiled but only a small nervous smile.
Hanna took a deep breath and Emily glared at her lovingly. The look she was giving her was so reasurring. Hanna felt her eyes water once again. 'Why did Emily have to be such a good friend? Why did she make my head feel heavy and my hands feel numb. I feel stupid for feeling this way towards her. I'm suposed to be Hanna Fucking Marin. Not Hanna Is A Pussy Marin.'
"I love you." Hanna hadn't meant to say it there and then but between Emily's eyes and them being alone, she did it. It came out of her mouth like it was meant to be. It felt so smouth coming out of her mouth. 'I could tell Emily that for the rest of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with this.. girl. I'm okay with that. With Emily, I'm safe.'
Emily froze. She didn't expect this from Hanna at all. Emily loved Hanna too, yes. But was she ready for this life with Hanna. Emily is currently in love with her best friend Hanna. Not the girl who loves her back Hanna.
'Today with Hanna was different. Unlike anyday with her. Hanna never cried in front of anyone. Sure, she'd cry of physical pain but never of emotional. Hanna broke down today. Did Noel or Sean call her out about me? Do they know about this?' A drop of sweat fell from Emily's nose. She felt hot, too hot. She needed out of this car or she'd pass out.
She fled from the car and gripped the side of the car for support. Emily didn't know why she felt this way. She should be happy. Hanna loves her. 'What is this?' Emily felt her head it felt like it was boiling. Everything looked as if it were spinning. Emily tried to wipe away the sweat from her forehead.
"Emily can you.. me?" Emily couldn't understand. "Can you hear me?" Hanna repeated. Emily looked at her, she was standing over her in.. Hanna's room. Emily nodded. "Hey.." Hanna bit her lip nervously and swept the hair out of Emily's eyes.
"Did you drive me home? Wait, I passed out?" Emily wiped the sleep out her eyes and looked out the window in front of her. It was night time. The neighbors dog started barking. Emily felt a strong pain in her head. She held her head hard and let her self fall into the pillow. "Ow fuck!" Hanna stroked Emily's arm. "You slipped and hit your head on a tree stump. I brought you home, called Wren, you know the doctor? Well, he came and patch up your head." Hanna swept her hair again.
Emily started to calm down at Hanna's touch. Emily reached down and held Hanna's hand in hers. "Are you alright, Han?" Hanna looked at her funny. "Emily you fell. Not me." "I meant I ran out after you said that you.. you did say that right?" Hanna's shoulders fell. For some reason Hanna wished Emily forgot. She smiled. "Yeah, I did. I said I loved you but um your reaction wasn't what I uh.. expected." Hanna said in a dispointed tone. "No Hanna. I love you too." Hanna turned to Emily wide eyed. "I don't know what came over me. I felt sick. Not because of you, trust me not because of you." Emily squeezed Hanna's hand. Hanna gave Emily a loving look like Emily did in the car.
"I've loved you since fourth grade. I've loved you through everything. The parties, the boys and everything." Hanna couldn't help but smile at this. She felt like her explaination of how long she loved Emily for was puny comepared to this. She always loved Emily but didn't realize how much until just today.
"I only found out I loved you today. I always loved you, you're my best friend. But I didn't see just how much and at what extent I loved you. Noel somehow read my mind or something and found out. He sort of outed me at your meet today. I didn't know what to do or what to say so I ran. I didn't think you saw me run, honestly. I was so happy you came to my rescue almost. I would've been so broken without you."
Emily looked at her while biting her lip to cover up a smile. "What about in the shower?" Hanna froze this time. 'Oh great. Now she knows why I acted that way. Shit.' "I can explain that. But I'd rather not." Emily laughed. "I know why you dumbass." Emily hit her arm playfully. Hanna laughed with her. Emily sighed contently.
"Come lay down with me. It's weird holding your hand while your standing up." Hanna let go of her hand not so willingly and dropped next to Emily in bed. "That's better." Emily turned her body so she was facing Hanna. Hanna's breath hitched. She was beyond nervous. Her heart was beating almost out of her chest.
"Yeah it really is better." Hanna snaked her arms aorund Emily and pulled her closer. Hanna wrapped the covers around them and they layed there for hours. No words or interuptions. Emily dozed off a couple minutes ago. Hanna stayed up just watching her in the dark. She was so beautiful. Hanna cupped Emily's face and kissed her forehead. Emily opened her eyes slowly not sure what had happened. Hanna pulled back realizing Emily was up she looked kind of embarressed. Emily smirked. Emily grabbed Hanna's chin with her index finger and thumb. Emily looked directly in her eyes and then they both closed there eyes. Emily leaned in and kissed her. Hanna had expected it so she kissed back instantly.
This was the first time Hanna had kissed a girl. Emily's lips were so soft, unlike Sean's or any guys. Her kisses were light but nice. They kissed for a long time until Hanna pulled away and said exactly what she thought.
"You have the softess lips. Sorry if this ruins the moment but wow. I just want to kiss you forever. I've never felt this good, Em." Hanna meant every word. Emily licked her own lips and smiled. "You didn't ruin anything. I love your honesty, so thank you for being honest. You Hanna Marin are a secret good kisser aren't you? I always imagined you'd be a good kisser but this surpassed what I thought. I'll take you up on that kissing forever thing." Emily winked at Hanna. Emily wasn't sure what all this would mean in the morning but tried not to worry about that. The time in the morning will come for that. Right now it was just her and Hanna wrapped up in each other.