Author's Note:
This is a sad excuse of a chapter. 100 words? Next chapter will be extra long!
(Sara's POV)
Tegan was to be treated like a child. After all, she wasn't responsible. She was a child, in my eyes. Nothing more, nothing less. I was to spend every second with her until I could trust her. Even after that, she will always been an addict, so I can't ever fully trust her. She already trusted me, strange enough. She reassures me that I'm not the cause. She was an addict because thats what she wanted for herself. Who was I to blame myself? I had some nerve to be selfish enough to think she ran away because of me.
"Partly your fault, partly mums, mostly mine." she said. I sighed, holding a towel out for her. "I could blame you.", she begins. "If I wasn't recovering." I smiled and walked her to my bedroom, our room. I hand her clothes and when she gets dressed, my clothes drape off her skeleton, similar to when Sid and I would go to the coast and I'd put on his clothes as we drank PBR by the bonfire. I smiled sadly, Tegan used to be bigger than me. Now, she was frail.
When we got to the party, I wouldn't let Tegan out of my sight. I'm sure there would be a user or two there. I wrapped my arms around Sid and stood on my tippy toes to kiss him. He chuckles and loops his fingers in between mine. "Glad you could make it." I giggle and pull away. "Sid, this is Tegan." he grinned, and stuck his hand out. Tegan scratched her jawline and wrinkled her nose. I sighed, it was just like her. Such an asshole. Sid put his hand down. "Uh, hi." Tegan speaks up. That's when Marina runs up to us, handing a Pabts to us each. Tegan takes it and downs it quickly. I see her eyeing the skinny girl behind Marina. She's got stringing blond hair and looks dirty. "I've got to piss." Tegan announces and walks away from us. "Fuck." I saw and start off after Tegan, only to have Sid pull me back. "She's a big girl." he tells me. I could laugh, I could fucking laugh in his face. I take off again, grabbing Tegan's arm before she reaches the trashy blond. "Let's go." I say. She smirks, "What, why? This was just getting interesting!" I look at the blond and shake my head. I pull Tegan towards the door.
On the way home, I tell Tegan that Sid and I will fight most likely. I wasn't allowed to leave this party. Tegan told me she was addicted to heroin and that I'm addicted to work. We're one in the same. "Heroin will kill ya." I protest and park the car outside my flat. "Aren't you even happy to be a bit clean?" I ask her. She shrugs, "I don't want to be clean. I loved my life." I laugh softly, that's why it was almost cut short, I think. Tegan seems to read my mind, twin telepathy. "I like the risk of not knowing whether or not I live after my next dose." Dose, yeah like it's actually a medical prescription. Tegan steps into the house, "Can I have my pill?" I walk in and check the clock, it's been five hours. "In three hours."
She sighs and walks to the fridge, "At least feed me." I nod, walking to the fridge and get out everything for her dinner. She watches me cook. "How big is he?" I drop the knife on the floor, "Excuse me?" Tee chuckles, "How big is Sid's cock?" I exhale slowly. "Shut up." Tegan snakes her arms around my waist and my body erupts in tingles. I breathe slowly. "That small?" she whisper against my ear and I feel even more chills rush up my spine. "Stop." I say. "Confession," Tegan begins, "I have the biggest crush on you. I have ever since you got tits." I close my eyes, "Get off… Now." My breathing is frazzled and my stutter and lisp are worse than ever. "Am I making you nervous?" She asks. "Get the fuck off." I push her away. I don't yell at her, I don't want her to run. I don't want her to leave. So I can't tell her that I'm disgusted. I can't scold her. "Please don't ever do that again." is what I say. She smirks, "'Kay, sis."
Tegan grabs her plate and sits on the couch. I take my place next to her. She smiles at me. "Why are you so pretty?" I sigh, scooting away. "Okay, I'll stop! It's just been a while since I've been laid." I don't tell her that I'm in the same boat. She guesses. "You too?" I look at her, my face scrunched up. "How the fuck are you doing that?!" She laughs, "Twins."
That night, Tegan asks to cuddle. "No funny business." I tell her. She smiles, "Okay." we lay there, cuddled up. We talk. She tells me how badly she wants heroin. I sigh, "How about I be the replacement?" She giggles, "Can we have sex?" I sit up, "You didn't just suddenly start shooting up!" she smiles, "Snorted, chased and finally injected." I nod, we'll be real close, cuddle and hold hands, then kiss, then… Have sex. "We won't tell Sid." she smiles. "Can we skip all that? I've been waiting to kiss you since I was 14 years old." I nod, very slowly. "Kisses only." Tegan eagerly attaches our lips and straddles me.