A/N: Sorry I've been away for a while, really really sorry. But here's a new chapter for you. Hope it's alright.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Joe strolled away from the autopsy room, having met with Dr Llewellyn. He was tired and frustrated. The good doctor had informed him there was no way they could identify which Kray twin had committed the murders or the attack on Kent as they share the same DNA. He decided it was a problem better left to the morning. Tonight he was going to go home, with Kent and forget all about insane twins and gangland violence.

He'd been able to get the younger man alone long enough to persuade him to come home with him instead of going back to his flat and found him surprisingly eager, considering that a few days ago he'd been informed that he had every intention of going back to his own flat. But considering that Joe hadn't slept properly in weeks and after their phone call last night, he wasn't going to say anything that might have the man changing his mind.

He turned the corner that led to the canteen, passing the doors that opened out to the public area. He'd just passed it, casually looking through the window when he saw Kent talking to a ma, a familiar man. The one he'd seen walking out of his room at the hospital. It looked like they were having an intense discussion. Joe stood there watching, his gut rolling uncomfortable. He hadn't thought about the man since that day in the hospital, mainly because there was no reason to and he'd had more important things on his mind. But now he was wondering again, just who the man was. Kent had said he'd been lost at the hospital, so what was his excuse now. Was he lost again? If so, he should really see someone about his sense of direction. And he didn't mean his boyfriend.

Kent smiled and nodded at the man, shaking his hand. Joe's jaw clenched hard as the man turned away and Kent began his steady journey towards the doors. Joe stepped back as they swung open, his gaze locking on Emerson.

"Oh, Sir."

Joe frowned. "Was that the man from the hospital?"

Kent looked over his shoulder with a flush. "Yeah. - His car got stolen and he came to report it."

Joe didn't look convinced. "So why was he talking to you? Surely a uniform could have dealt with it. - You're not even on duty."

The corner of Kent's lip twitched at the jealous sound on Joe's voice. "I wasn't talking to him about the car. I was just saying hello. He caught me as I was talking to Robin…"

Joe frowned. Why would he be talking to Robin at the front desk? Joe didn't say anything else; he just turned and walked away, Kent on his heels.

The junior officer caught up with him in the empty incident room. "Sir? Sir!"

Joe turned to look at the younger man. "Yes Kent."

"Would you mind Sir, giving me a lift home." he said casually.

Whatever was sparking Joe's insecurities vanished at the question and the warm look in Kent's gaze. How could Joe ever stay made at him? "Fine." he tried to sound stern but failed. Grabbing his coat from his office, they headed back down to the car park. Joe carrying Kent's bag, that Robin had left knowing Kent was going to be leaving with Joe. Kent settled himself easily into the front seat, while Joe put the bag in the bag before climbing in next to him.

The drive was silent for a good ten minutes before Emerson broke it. "Your jealous." he stated, smiling as Joe stiffened in his seat.

"Of course not."

Emerson looked out the window. "It's alright to be jealous Joe, it just means you care. - And I really needed to know that." he mumbled the last part, but Joe heard it as clear as day.

"Why?" he frowned, glancing over to him.

Kent shrugged. "Cause. - I…"

"Yes?"

"Nothing." Emerson sighed, his courage failing him.

"Em, talk to me."

Emerson was quiet for a long while before giving in to the stare Joe was sending his way. "I - It's just….with the stripping… I didn't think….I'm not going to be able to…you know, have sex for a while." he blushed, his gaze still fixed out the window. "I'm going to have scares Joe. Bad scares." he said turning his gaze to the man beside him, tears pooling in his eyes.

Joe pulled the car over and cut the engine before turning in his seat to glare at Emerson. "Is that why you were so weird with me when I came to see you? Because you think what, that I'm not going to want you because those bastards did this to you?"

Emerson glanced at his hands.

"Em… Kent!" he snapped when the man wouldn't look at him. "I don't know whether to be angry or insulted right now. How could you honestly think I'd leave you because of this…" he gestured to the crutches. "I'd never do that and I don't care about the sex…."

He saw a spark of doubt flash in Kent's face.

"Hey. I know we started off on the wrong foot." he snapped angrily. "But after almost a year I'd think you'd understand that I'm in this relationship for more than just the sex! I'm with you because you make me happy, because you understand me and don't judge me because of my irrational behaviour. I'm in this relationship because I love you and have done for longer than I realised."

A tear slid down Emerson's cheek at Joe's declaration. "I – I..." he swallowed hard. "I'm sorry Joe. I- I guess I just…" he didn't finish his sentence as Joe was pulling him into a soft but determined kiss.

It went on for a few long moments before Joe pulled back, his hand still around Kent's neck and his forehead resting against the younger man's. "I swear Kent, I'd never leave you over something like this, something you had no control over." Joe leant back in his seat. "Now how about we get a take-away and go home?"

Kent nodded, giving his boyfriend a watery smile.

~WHITECHAPEL~

The pair spent the evening curled up on the couch watching TV, having eaten their Chinese. Kent's legs resting across Joe's lap, his mop of dark hair settled against the white cushion. When Joe glanced over he saw the younger man's eyes closed and smiled.

"Em? - Em?"

"Hmm."

"Come on, let's get you to bed." he gently lifted his feet and stood.

Emerson's eyes shot open to stare at Jo with a flash of panic, swallowing hard he watched Joe nervously, his hand held out to help him up. "I'm fine here." Emerson murmured, just staring at the outstretched hand.

Joe looked at him for a long moment, a frown creasing his forehead. "You're not sleeping on the couch." Joe reached down and took the younger man's hand, his frown increasing when he felt Emerson flinch. "You need to sleep Em." he said gently. "Come on." it was an order.

With a reluctant sigh, Emerson allowed himself to be helped up from the sofa. The crutches were left against the arm of the couch. When Joe's arm slipped around his waist he couldn't help the shiver that rush through him. He hoped Joe hadn't felt it, but the questioning look on the man's face said he had.

Emerson couldn't understand where it had come from. They'd been alright, he'd been alright. Joe had already touched him and kissed him, they'd spent the whole evening curled up together on the sofa but the moment Joe had mentioned bed a torrent of panic had flooded him, despite the knowledge that nothing was going to happen. Joe wouldn't expect anything, he knew how serious the injuries were, he knew that there was no way they were going to be able to have sex, but that fear Kent had been carrying for weeks reared its ugly head. His heart rate increased as they got closer to the room, he could see the bed and a cold sweat covered his back and palms, and no matter how many times he told himself that he was safe and there was nothing to worry about, that Joe wasn't going to expect anything, he couldn't dispel the fear and panic.

Joe tried his hardest to ignore what he felt radiating from his boyfriend, tried to tell himself that he understood the nervousness, and it was true. Emerson had gone through a dramatic and horrific ordeal but that didn't stop the pain ripping at his heart. Lowering Emerson carefully on the bed, he dropped into a crouch before the man.

"Em?"

"Yeah."

"Are you…alright?"

"Fine." Emerson forced a smile, trying desperately to push back his thoughts.

Joe placed his hand on Emerson's thigh, squeezing lightly and watching as the young man's back straightened and his Adam's apple bobbed manically.

"Em." Joe sighed, withdrawing his hand. "I'm not…I don't expect to…" he got to his feet and looked around the room, his hand running though his blond hair. "You need to sleep. I'll take the couch." he walked around the bed to retrieve his pillow.

"Joe." Emerson called, stopping the man's retreat.

Joe looked over her shoulder. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry, I just…I guess I just freaked. - Don't go." Emerson's eyes pleadingly looked up at Joe, asking him to understand, which of course he did. Joe always understood.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable Em." his voice was tight around the words.

Emerson nodded. "I'm sure."

Joe took a deep breath and walked back to the bed, stripping down to his underwear, Emerson struggling to strip but too nervous and ashamed to ask for help.

Eventually the pair crawled under the covers, a canyon between them. Joe glanced over at Kent for a long moment before switching off the light.

"Night, Em." he whispered, turning his back to the man.

Emerson watched him feeling terrible for a thousand reasons. He craved the man's touch, he'd missed falling asleep in those arms but he was too nervous to ask for more that the man's presence in their bed. Swallowing back tears, Kent turned his back and murmured his own "Goodnight." before staring into the darkness for as long as it took sleep to take him.

~WHITECHAPEL~

Joe's alarm sounded at 6AM, waking Joe. He turned his head at the feel of a warm body melded into his side, a mass of dark hair resting on his shoulder. While Kent had not wanted his touch last night, which had hurt painfully, it seemed that in the night his body had craved it, and Joe's had done too. He stared down at the peaceful face he felt his heart skipped, he'd needed this, having Kent back in his life, his bed. He'd meant what he'd said about their relationship not being about sex, but it was about trust and intimacy, and he could live without the sex but he couldn't live without waking up with Kent in the morning or seeing that warm belief in the man's eyes. That was what their relationship was, and as long as he had that they could survive.

Glancing at the clock, Joe realised the time and shifted to slip out of bed, though not before pressing a kiss to Kent's forehead. The younger man's eyes fluttered open, looking up at Joe with his usually blurry eyed smile. Joe watched him expectantly, waiting for realisation to hit and for the man to pull away, but Emerson just watched him with a sigh

"Morning." he mumbled, smiling.

Joe relaxed, releasing the breath he was holding. "Morning." he finally climbed out of bed, hearing Emerson's moaned protest.

Emerson lay there for a few moments watching Joe disappear into the bathroom. Once alone he shuffled up in the bed and swing his leg out from under the covers with a familiar wince. Running a hand over his eyes, he cautiously lifted himself off the mattress; his gaze flickered to the living room where his crutches sat again the arm of the coach. Behind him the bathroom door opened, Joe emerging with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Em? What are you doing?"

"Getting up. - Can you pass me my crutches." Emerson asked over his shoulder.

Joe huffed as he rushed to get the them, carrying them back to the younger man. "You don't need to get up just because I have." he scolded. "Where are you going?" Joe frowned.

Emerson balanced himself on the metal. "Shower then work."

"What? Oh no, Em, you're not ready to go back to work yet."

Emerson looked up at the man. "I can't stay here Joe. I want to work, to help get the Kray's."

"No." Joe snapped.

Emerson glared at him. "It that an order Sir?" he challenged.

"Yes." Joe's back straightened and his jaw clenched tight.

The two men stared at each other for a long moment.

"I can walk, I can work. - come on Joe, you need all the help you can get." he pleaded. "I can't just sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to come home and tell me what's happening. - I'll stay at my desk alright. I'll do paper work, answer the phones, whatever you want."

"Em. You were only released from hospital yesterday, you need to rest."

"I'll rest when the Kray's are behind bars, but I want to be there. I need to be there." he insisted determinedly.

Joe looked down into the brown pleading eyes and he felt something tug in his chest. Emerson rarely asked anything from him, he only gave. He could understand the man's need to be close to the case but he couldn't risk anything further happening to him.

"Joe. It's just office work. I won't leave the building until it's time to come home." Joe's stared at him, his mind weighing up what to do. "Em, you're still…"

"I'm fine." Kent snapped before Joe could finish his sentence.

Realizing there was no winning this argument and deciding that at least at the station he could watch the man, just in case the Kray's decided to try another attack. With a resigned huff of frustration Joe reluctantly agreed. "Alright. - But I don't like it."

Emerson pressed a kiss to Joe's lips on instinct; pulling back he stared up at him with a reassuring smile. "Thanks. - I better get ready then."

"Need help?" Joe asked softly with concern.

"No, thanks, whenever we're in that shower together washing isn't exactly our top priority." Emerson smirked with a twinkle, already craving the intimacy he was unable to share. He hoped that it would fade once everything was back to normal, once the Kray's were behind them and they could slip back into the old routine everything would just go back to how it was. He couldn't wait.

TO BE CONTINUED...

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING.

A/N: I had to re-write a whole chuck of this chapter because it didn't feel right; I'm trying to build up a reason why Joe would do what he does to Kent. Doubt is the best motivator and with Kent unable to keep himself from pulling away from Joe it's only going to add to the reasoning behind Joe's BAD decision. Well at least that's the goal. I'd always planned for Kent to pull away from Joe because of the attack but wasn't sure how to do it, then I watched Queer as Folk US and one of the characters was going through something similar, it was a great help.

(And it's given me yet another ship to add to my growing list. Rofl.)

Anyway we're getting closer to that moment; I'm so going to hate writing that.