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Chapter 19

It was Wednesday already. Brooke barely had time to breathe during those days. She left her room early in the morning and returned late at night, and she still had to work on reviews and articles for the newspaper. She was going back to New York on Sunday. As she was getting ready to go to bed, she realized she hadn't spoken to Jack since Monday night, when she called him to thank him for the chocolates. She knew she had been busy and that he knew it, but she still felt uneasy. She was leaving soon and she didn't know what was going to happen with their still uncertain relationship. She needed to call him, to see him, she missed him.

Jack's cell phone rang. – Hello?

– Hey, it's me.

Jack was happy to hear her. But he had already made up his mind. – Hey, how you're doing?

– Fine, but I'm so tired… anyway, one more day left and I'll be done… –she said.

– That's great, I'm glad for you.

Brooke noticed he was being cold. – I've missed you… –she told him sweetly, but Jack remained silent.
– So, how about you, how was your week? –she said, breaking the awkward moment.

– The same, nothing new really. –he replied, flatly.

– Right. So, you think we can meet before I go back to New York?

Jack felt crushed by the idea of her leaving. – Um… sure, I just have to check my schedule.

– Of course. So, let me know, okay?

– Okay.

Brooke felt blue. She expected Jack to be warm and caring as he always was. He sure had a tough day, she justified. ­– Okay, bye Jack. –with that she hung up.

The rest of the week went by. Brooke spent it feeling blue. She didn't know what was going on, but she felt something was wrong. Jack hadn't called her even once and he didn't even reply the only message she had sent to his cell phone. Was that it between them? Was it just a nice company they shared? She didn't want that. Now she knew for sure she was in love with him. She knew it was soon to tell him and she didn't want to freak him out. But he needed to know she really liked him and wanted to keep in touch with him, to make things work between them.

On Saturday night, her phone rang. It was Jack.

– Hi handsome! –she said cheerfully.

– Hey… I'm sorry I didn't call before, I've been busy. I'm at the lobby, you have some time?

– You mean right now? But I'm a mess! –she told him, nervous.

– I'm sure you look great as always. I'm not very tidy either. I was planning on having something quick for dinner, like pizza or something?

– Sure, just give me five minutes okay?

– I'll be down here.

She just put on her shoes and quickly grabbed her purse. She knew it was probably the last chance she had to see him before going home. Her heartbeat sped up as the elevator went down. He was waiting there, wearing jeans, a polo T-shirt and a leather jacket, looking fabulous as always.

Jack's look glinted. He couldn't help to feel totally drawn to her. When she was finally standing in front of him, he ventured further and held her tight in his arms. One last hug… he thought. Brooke responded to his embrace and soon Jack couldn't stifle his urge. He kissed her passionately, as if he hadn't seen her in centuries.

– Hey. ­­–she said softly to his lips.

­– Hey… –he replied, still holding her.

Brooke looked deeply at him. – What's up? Is everything alright?

– Yeah. –he said looking down, giving her a short smile. – You ready?

– Yeah. –she answered.

They got in Jack's car and just went to a cafe near the hotel. As usual, Jack asked everything about her week, but this time Brooke wasn't the vivid chatter she always was. She barely ate, and so did Jack. Something was definitely wrong, she knew it. She remembered Ilana's words: Be a big girl and just ask him. But ask him what, exactly?

Jack also couldn't find the words to tell her he wouldn't continue with that, whatever it was. He felt his emotions constrict in his chest. Why was it so difficult? It wasn't like he was breaking up with her after years. He'd just met her for a week. Yet it hurt, and feeling that scared him even more.

They continued talking about insignificant things and it got late. The tension grew more and more. Neither of them dared to drag the situation out. They left the cafe and Jack drove her back to the hotel. When they got to the motor lobby, he pulled over before they reached the main entrance. He breathed deeply.

– So, here we are. –she said nervous.

Jack looked down and then spoke. – Brooke… I need to tell you something.

Brooke's eyes opened widely, knowing he was finally getting into subject. – Okay.

– I think we need to… slow down. ­–he said, raising his eyes to meet hers.

Brooke looked at him doubtful. – Slow what down?

– This. Listen… –he hesitated. – I don't want you to get this wrong. I like you Brooke, I really do, but the thing is… –he threw a wry short laugh. – I don't know what I'm doing. I've been through a lot and… I don't want to hurt you. You deserve to be with someone who's absolutely sure about his feelings for you and who's there for you 24-7. And I… I just don't know if I can be that person. I'd like to… think things over…

Brooke felt a collision inside, but she kept cool. – I really appreciate your honesty, Jack. Just one thing… what do you need to think over?

Jack went mute for a moment. – I need to think… if I'm ready to get involved with someone again. –he replied, frankly.

– I understand. –Brooke said, looking down. She wanted to tell him million things, she wanted to convince him of giving it a shot, but she didn't. She had promised herself never to beg a man for love or attention, even if he was Jack. – Goodbye Jack, take care, okay?

When she finished saying that, she gave him an abashed look. Then she placed her hand on his cheek and gave him a short, soft kiss on the lips. After that, she got off the car and left.

The minute Jack saw her walking away, he felt he was making a big mistake. He was denying himself the chance to be happy again.